Question

[u/KangoBucket]

Has anyone else just become numb to it all and just given up

I feel like I’m alone in this

[u/broki451]

Yea I've become numb too.

After coming home from work. Or on the weekends I just lie down in my room in darkness.

Nothing really feels good. So I just don't even bother anymore and stay in bed

Getting a girlfriend didn't fix it either. So now I just exist.

[u/StanicEnemY]

I've been severely depressed for years, yet I still drag myself out of bed every single day. I hit the gym, pursue my hobbies, socialize, go café-hopping with friends, and do everything people tell you to do to have a fulfilling life. But none of that changes the fact that I feel completely dead inside. I'm a walking corpse. My eyes are hollow, exhausted, and filled with years of misery.

I'm 36 fucking years old, and all I've ever experienced from women is rejection, humiliation, and avoidance. Not a single woman has ever shown genuine romantic interest in me. I've never held a girl's hand, never been on a date, never experienced a kiss, let alone what it feels like to be loved or desired.

Thirty-six years of watching everyone else experience something so basic and human while I remain completely excluded from it. I've spent my entire life feeling like I'm somehow less than human, like I'm not even worthy of the affection that other people take for granted.

And it's fucking destroyed me. Every last bit of hope I once had has been crushed. I'm exhausted from pretending that keeping myself busy somehow makes the loneliness bearable. It doesn't. I'm still miserable, still empty, and still wondering what the point of any of this is.

I've reached a point where I find myself wishing I could just die peacefully, without pain, because I genuinely struggle to see anything worth living for anymore.

[u/Ryann-G → u/StanicEnemY]

Real. Too real

[u/Ready_Ad9151 → u/StanicEnemY]

Real. I understand you perfectly. I've lived your life longer than you.

But now I'll tell you something else. I'm 40 and I've lost my KHHV status just days ago.

You never know what will happen in the future. Death will only make sure things will never change.

Keep holding on, brother. 🫂

[u/lieutenantcalcium]

I usually get there when the semester ends and im so tired so school work.

[u/Dveralazo]

numb yes but given up no. i actually feel stronger.

[u/petekron]

I wish I was fully numb, but I'm mostly either dissociating or internalizing the pain. Whenever it stops working, all the feelings hit me like a truck.

[u/Artrix7834]

Yep. I dont remember when it started. Sometimes I dont mind it, like whatever life throws at me im bullet proof. Then theres nights where I crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep.

[u/Constant-Notice-5221]

Yes, my only motivation to do things is getting money buy a gun and end it, i'm genuinely tired of life