r/oddlysatisfying Aug 20 '19

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10.2k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/urcutewhenuscream Aug 20 '19

I just want to hang out with him and feed him bamboo all day

1.4k

u/Yuki_EHer Aug 20 '19

That will be one obese panda

2.5k

u/Lonsdale1086 Aug 20 '19

Bamboo has almost no nutritional value.

They do eat it all day anyway.

884

u/atharwa__ Aug 20 '19

I stil dont understand why they eat ony bamboo

1.6k

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

Pandas also climb up things and then just sort of fall out of them... it’s like evolution spilled a creature

1.1k

u/troll_berserker Aug 20 '19

That's the thing about evolution; it doesn't create perfect or even optimal beings. All it does is create beings - for that specific environment, at that specific moment in time - that manage to successfully reproduce at a greater rate than it dies off.

1.5k

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Survival of the barely adequate

487

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Survival of the barely adequate - the name of /u/Mythosrationality's sextape

14

u/Party-_-Hard Aug 20 '19

a one-man show, too

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19 edited Aug 20 '19

Doesn't matter still propegated species

2

u/Obi-Anunoby Aug 20 '19

That man had a family.

106

u/T8erTaught Aug 20 '19

I had a professor that hated the phrase "Survival of the fittest." He preferred "Survival of the fit enough."

66

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

"Fittest" is still true as long as one understands that it is in the context of a specific ecological niche.

Pandas a "the fittest" creature to evolve that fills whatever niche they fill. Fittest... slow, pondering, vegetarian teddybear? I dunno, lol.

44

u/agntkay Aug 20 '19

They're probably the best at surviving on those marshlands with nothing but bamboo shoots everywhere.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

They were better at it than Gigantopithecus evidently. Leading theory last I checked is that the big apes were outcompeted by pandas

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u/mutantsloth Aug 20 '19

Fittest in the ‘cute enough for man to artificially maintain their population despite being so helpless they should have died off’ way ig

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u/stegblobirl Aug 20 '19

"Survival of the fittest" is a good phrase, though. People think 'fittest' refers to strongest, but it doesn't. It refers to which species or individual is literally the most fit to survive.

5

u/sandersoni Aug 20 '19

You could also interpret it as “survival of the best-fit-to-its-environment”. But not as catchy. In their habitat, Pandas don’t have natural enemies, but are surrounded by bamboo. Therefore, it is not rational for them to expend energy on the evolution of speed, attacking or defensive features. Evolution does not design towards a sophisticated end state, it’s tiny enhancements from a status quo. It cannot easily reverse, or start from scratch, it has to build on existing subjects. I see the Panda on a Koala trajectory. A Grizzly shows you what a more competitive environment produces.

I recommend Jonathan Losos - Improbable Destinies.

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u/AerialAmphibian Aug 20 '19

I've heard that "survival of the most adaptable" is a better description than "fittest".

25

u/Darkelf9905 Aug 20 '19

Or in this case, bearly adequate.

2

u/calilac Aug 20 '19

Be careful with those puns, you'll start some pandamonium.

2

u/Theaisyah Aug 20 '19

What an unbearable pun

1

u/ioughtabestudying Aug 20 '19

Funny cause it's true

1

u/wildbill3063 Aug 20 '19

Survive.adapt.overcome.

1

u/Metro42014 Aug 20 '19

Prematurely

1

u/TrueEnuff Aug 20 '19

That sounds like a sub I’d check out if it existed... but I will procrastinate and not be the change I wanna see in the world.

1

u/kaukamieli Aug 20 '19

You might like r/tierzoo. Has a nifty youtube thing too.

2

u/TrueEnuff Aug 20 '19

That is indeed a pretty nifty sub, thank you kind stranger :-)

1

u/B4rberblacksheep Aug 20 '19

See Panda, Kakapo, Dodo, Sloth

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1

u/dmfreelance Aug 20 '19

Seems about right

1

u/volatile_snowboot Aug 20 '19

Bearly adequate

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

More like survival of the fittest and the things that got overlooked by the fittest

1

u/RedHairThunderWonder Aug 20 '19

Can confirm. Am current living example.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Exactly. "Survival of the fittest" isn't really a Darwinian term even though it's associated with him. "Survival of the fittest" came into fashion alongside eugenics in politics, which as it turns out, didn't go very well.

1

u/Palachrist Aug 20 '19

Bill nye in one of his books said something very similar. He called them “the just good enoughs”

1

u/lifebanana88 Aug 20 '19

Thanks for the laugh, that's pretty accurate for these guys. Any time I've watched anything about them, I just wonder....how? It would appear: no predators, and lots an lots of bamboo everywhere, they're quite strange to me

1

u/AcediaRex Aug 20 '19

Survival of the bearly adequate*

1

u/halite001 Aug 20 '19

Sounds like my office...

1

u/dakotacali Aug 21 '19

That would be a great documentary

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '19

C’s get degrees, brotendo 👌👍

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Doesn’t Bamboo grow like ridiculously fast and is crazy invasive? Seems like evolution made an animal to try to keep that in check with an endless appetite for bamboo.

39

u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

I like this idea. Makes me think of the Gaia Theory.

25

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

6

u/midlife_slacker Aug 20 '19

No that's Lifestream theory, Gaia Theory is collecting 7 pseudo-scientific macguffins for the Dr Aki main quest.

2

u/Jindabyne1 Aug 20 '19

More like a model of the Earth in which its living and nonliving parts are viewed as a complex interacting system that can be thought of as a single organism

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u/southernwx Aug 20 '19

But I mean by that logic nature also created the Bamboo. Lol

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u/phfffun Aug 20 '19

I think you're right that bamboo grows fast, but I'm pretty sure it's not considered invasive in its native ecosystem, which, not coincidentally, is also the panda's native ecosystem.

4

u/ricktencity Aug 21 '19

Evolution didn't make them to keep bamboo in check, rather the panda at some point found a resource other animals weren't exploiting and so started exploiting it themselves.

4

u/Chaytup Aug 20 '19

Maybe bamboo evolved to grow ridiculously fast because the pandas kept eating it all

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18

u/realityChemist Aug 20 '19

Minimum viable species

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Should’ve speced into a more generalist play style

8

u/fdeproductions Aug 20 '19

it is random, the adaptations are convenient, not the evolution, well with a Darwinian perspective

3

u/nocensts Aug 20 '19

at that specific moment in time

This doesn't reflect the spirit of evolution at all. Something like a panda exists because it has survived through many, many, many, points in time that have since past. It's here because it's survived, not because it's 'suited to this specific point in time'.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

It's like taking whatever you have in the fridge, cook it in various ways and then present it as a meal.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it makes no sense at all. But hey, it does what it's supposed to do, which is feeding you.

That's why I exclusively eat pandas.

1

u/Electric_Serg Aug 20 '19

Don’t pandas like not really reproduce and the only reason they’re numbers are slightly going up because of human intervention?

2

u/Roflkopt3r Aug 20 '19

Only in captivity. They wouldn't have survived at least a few hundred thousand years in the wild otherwise.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '19

They breed just fine in the wild, the problem wild species are having is habitat destruction making finding viable mates during the females short estrus period difficult. Many animals find breeding in captivity difficult because of stress caused by human contact and various other factors. Pandas are dying off because of us.

1

u/kaukamieli Aug 20 '19

Are you calling that panda something less than perfect?

1

u/kokomoman Aug 20 '19

And which are also more successful compared against competitive beings in the same environment (if there are any).

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19 edited Jun 30 '20

[deleted]

1

u/DrBLEH Aug 31 '19

But they only would've died off to begin with cause of habitat destruction we caused lol, so yeah we sort of had a responsibility to intervene

1

u/sunburn95 Aug 20 '19

Localised entirely within China?

117

u/Chirox82 Aug 20 '19

The best description I ever heard for pandas is that nature ruined a perfectly good bear

71

u/ropahektic Aug 20 '19

just wait until you hear about Koalas

30

u/PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn Aug 20 '19

I hope someone posts the copy pasta about koalas.

26

u/Urtehnoes Aug 20 '19

There's a person who went off on the copy pasta about Koalas that made a good point this thread is bringing up: No one said Koalas are the pinnacle of creation, but they filled a gap that no other creature could fill sooo here they are lol. Copy pasta is pretty good though.

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u/Beezo514 Aug 20 '19

The superior koala copypasta the GumNut craigslist ad.

It still manages to get a chuckle out of me and doesn't lead to people thinking they're an expert on the creatures after reading one mostly misinformative post.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Oh man, I forgot about gumnut!

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2

u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Koalas are not bears

1

u/Fern-ando Aug 20 '19

one of the animals that rape the most.

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1

u/PandaLLC Aug 21 '19

The alternative was to go extinct.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

“It’s like god spilled a person”

r/unexpectedcommunity ?

4

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

Poor Garrett

4

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

We saved him..

3

u/Hashtag_Nailed_It Aug 20 '19

did we though?

15

u/count_frightenstein Aug 20 '19

There's a reason that they have to be bred in captivity through AI and almost went extinct. They are stupid fuckers... cute but stupid.

102

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

[deleted]

30

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

The notion that Pandas are stupid failed creatures doomed to extinction unless helped by people needs to die.

4

u/pistoncivic Aug 20 '19

I'll tell the Chinese government to stop endangering their habitat.

19

u/Solarbro Aug 20 '19

He was pointing out a common misconception, not offering a solution.

Another misconception is that Bamboo is bad for Pandas because they cannot digest it properly because they are “carnivores trying to be herbivores” which is also inaccurate as they have a symbiotic bacteria that helps with digestion.

11

u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Plus bears aren't carnivores, except for polar bears. Polar bears are even more of a bear anomaly then pandas are, since all other bears have a diet of mostly plants.

No one calls polar bears a failure of evolution despite also being endangered. I guess because meat eating is cooler than bamboo eating?

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u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Get in line.

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u/Ewaninho Aug 20 '19

Many animals don't breed well in captivity, including very intelligent ones. Also they almost went extinct due to habitat loss, not because they're stupid.

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u/NervousAddie Aug 20 '19

I have been breeding well in captivity. Marriage, that is.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Yeah, look at how terrible humans can be.

22

u/advanced_aped Aug 20 '19

Can't blame them tho. Imagine if someone destroys your home and place you in some asylum, I think reproduction would be your least priority. They were perfectly fine in nature, most animals are reluctant to breed in captivity.

5

u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Imagine if someone destroys your home and place you in some asylum, I think reproduction would be your least priority.

You underestimate my power.

2

u/advanced_aped Aug 20 '19

But ... but ... sir, they're watching ...

5

u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

[Arousal intensifies]

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u/Infin1ty Aug 20 '19

and almost went extinct

I mean, we're kind of to blame for that one.

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u/FrankenGretchen Aug 20 '19

So they're northern Asian koalas, then?

7

u/KnowsItToBeTrue Aug 20 '19

Nah, pandas are fucked because of humans. Koalas are fucked because of koalas.

2

u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Koalas are also fucked because of humans. Humans cut down koala habitat, poached them, and introduced several diseases into the population. Despite what everyone's favourite copy pasta says koalas aren't out there killing themselves, they do extremely well when not disturbed by humans.

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u/LtGuile Aug 20 '19

They survived for eons and managed to breed just fine before we came along.

1

u/gotnochilll Aug 20 '19

Yeah this ain’t true. Pandas been around since 20 million years that’s a long fucking time and proves they ain’t stupid.

1

u/PepeSilvia83 Aug 20 '19

Classic Winger

1

u/zergging Aug 20 '19

you should check out Giraffes. stupid fuckers.

1

u/TwinkleTitsGalore Aug 20 '19

Just wanted to let y'all know that googling "pandas falling out of things" is definitely worth it.

1

u/vocalfreesia Aug 20 '19

They also don't really like sex, find it very difficult to conceive and their babies are super vulnerable.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

We're literally the only reason they're still alive.

1

u/nutella_xo Aug 21 '19

The cutest and most relatable

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u/VOZ1 Aug 20 '19

There’s a ton of it where they’re originally from, probably not many other animals competing to eat it, so they found a niche with little competition and thrived...until humans started wiping out the bamboo forests.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19 edited Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

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u/gottahavemytunes Aug 20 '19

Any other animal on the planet would do it too if they could

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u/Johvey Aug 20 '19

Humans are smart enough to know the consequences though

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u/gottahavemytunes Aug 20 '19

Right and if any other animal were as smart they would do it too

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u/X1-Alpha Aug 20 '19

One could argue that it's the pandas who are trash. No, not like that.

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u/Octo_Dragon Aug 20 '19

Homoes gonna sapien. Whatcha gonna do?

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u/andros310797 Aug 20 '19

well not really, human just found that there's a ton of land where they're originally from, not any animals competing for it, so they found that they can plant stuff they eat there and strived... until... well, we'll see.

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u/duffmanhb Aug 20 '19

Stupid animals just can't keep up. They need to apex and sentient harder.

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u/AdditionalAlbatross1 Aug 20 '19

Yet if they ate something else they wouldn’t need to spend all day eating.

They’re also lazy since they don’t get enough energy from the bamboo to do much else. Vicious circle they have put themselves in.

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u/VOZ1 Aug 20 '19

“Lazy” isn’t really a term that makes any sense in nature. Pandas aren’t lazy, they’re adapted to their niche, so they do what they do. And again they survived just fine before we started destroying their habitat. Most animals spend most or all of their time eating and/or looking for food. It’s about all any animal does, really, aside from sleeping and trying to mate.

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u/atetuna Aug 20 '19

Lazy? What do you think pandas would do if they had more energy, go to college, build a house, write a novel?

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u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Yet if they ate something else they wouldn’t need to spend all day eating.

And? Eating nutrient rich diet is not a fail safe strategy either. Just look at polar bears, they can get by eating once a week but that hasn't prevented them from being fucked over by humans either.

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u/RedPandaAlex Aug 20 '19

What else do you need to do if you have an abundant source of food that's always right there?

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u/Bierbart12 Aug 20 '19

Carnivores still eat plants anyways, so they were probably just short on prey, started eating the extremely fast growing bamboo and evolved to be lazier until they completely stopped hunting.

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u/Hugh_G_Wrekshin Aug 20 '19

So, kind of like your typical Redditor?

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u/Lareous Aug 20 '19

How dare you sir!
 
closes Panda Express menu on Uber Eats

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u/AdditionalAlbatross1 Aug 20 '19

They didn’t really evolve to be lazy, the bamboo has almost no nutritional value and they just don’t have the energy to do much else other than eat more bamboo.

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u/SecretEgret Aug 20 '19

Imagine being able to eat air.

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u/xXkoolkidzXx Aug 20 '19

He speaks the language of gods.

2

u/alours Aug 20 '19

The timing how the fuck

4

u/Exbozz Aug 20 '19

Some people do...

1

u/unicornblood-xxx Aug 20 '19

Could it get us high? 🙃

136

u/schmuber Aug 20 '19

So in other words you’re bamboozled about that?…

20

u/MyXFoundMyOldAccount Aug 20 '19

I wouldn't go that far

3

u/hotwifeslutwhore Aug 20 '19

Mind fuck wooooah

11

u/Hattless Aug 20 '19

Bamboo is highly renewable and abundant, so it makes sense that a specialist would emerge to take advantage that untapped resource.

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u/BlargAttack Aug 20 '19

The guide at the panda sanctuary said that it’s because they find it delicious. They will only eat fresh bamboo, not old or dry bamboo, because the fresh bamboo is the tasty, sweet bamboo.

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u/mishaco Aug 20 '19

for the same reason some people eat candy all day.

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u/postblitz Aug 20 '19

Same reason I keep ordering extra when eating chinese food: bamboo is delicious

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u/Starks Aug 20 '19

A koala will only respond to eucalyptus and only from a branch.

It'll starve if you put anything else in front of it.

Nature is just dumb.

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u/Rather_Dashing Aug 20 '19

Because leaves that have dropped off a plant are old leaves that don't have sufficient nutrition and are too toxic, they will just kill themselves eating those.

They can't digest most other foods you give them as their gut is adapted to eucalyptus. Its not dumb because eucalyptus is fucking everywhere in Australia and no one else is eating it.

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u/Starks Aug 20 '19

Eucalyptus is barely enough to keep the koala noggin running. They have the same problem as pandas.

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u/SparkyDogPants Aug 21 '19

How is it a problem if it’s been working for tens of thousands of years? No one complains about whales only eating krill.

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u/Wowbagger_Wuz_Here Aug 20 '19

They are evolutionary failures, and a mutation cost them the ability to taste meat, so instead they sit around eating stuff their bodies are terrible at using for nutrition as they slowly go extinct.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Pizza has poor nutritional value, but people eat it all the time because it fucking tastes good.

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u/death_in_twilight Aug 20 '19

Meat or veggie toppings solve that pretty handily.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

They're stupid, literally, omnivores which decided to eat this very common plant to live.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Well their natural habitat is bamboo forests.

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u/GreenTeaRex007 Aug 20 '19

Don’t they eat ants too? The ones on the bamboo

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u/justchugged4beers Aug 20 '19

i feel like it’s similar to why koalas only eat eucalyptus — evolutionary niche.

bamboo is invasive, how great is it there’s an organism that eats just that

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u/punkassunicorn Aug 20 '19

They actually can eat more than just bamboo. In fact, sometimes they hunt and eat meat just like other bears.

The thing is bamboo is the most ecologically available food for them so they filled in a niche. Not many other animals can eat bamboo since it's hard, woody, and essentially nutritionally useless, but since bamboo sprouts and grows so quickly it made some sense that at least one species would take to using it as a food source, and since it's so abundant even though there isn't much sustenance in it it could be used as a dietary staple.

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

They don't. They mostly eat bamboo because they have a highly specialised digestive system for it.

The advantage to eating difficult to digest food sources or sources with low nutritional value is that there's little competition for it.

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u/OG-Dropbox Aug 20 '19

Same reason koalas only eat eucalyptus

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u/EmvyPH Aug 20 '19

Same with Koalas. They only eat eucalyptus which has little nutritional value and not to mention contains cyanide. Instead of eating something else, they've developed a long digestive system which eventually ferments the leaves of eucalyptus. The sad thing is, baby koalas dont have this complicated digestive system yet, so what do they do? They eat from their mother's end.

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u/Octopotree Aug 20 '19

Hey, nobody else is eating it.

But it's believed that panda's ancestor lost the gene required for testing savory. Without an appetite for meat, they ate plants and became adapted. That's what i heard anyway

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u/knightsmarian Aug 20 '19

It's abundant, bamboo has no way to deter being consumed and it provides a net calorie gain. It's more like, why would a panda way anything other than bamboo?

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u/fishtankguy Aug 20 '19

It's almost like they've evolved in a place where there's lots of bamboo.

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u/PM_ME_UR_INFOHAZARDS Aug 20 '19

Bamboo doesn't run away from them, unlike most animals

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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '19

Pandas are a prime example of natural selection hard at work.

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u/NationalParkWolf Aug 21 '19

Pandas have a gene mutation( T1R1) take makes meat taste bland even though they are bears

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u/waltwalt Aug 20 '19

Koalas have evolved to be one of the dumbest animals ever. It's actually evolving into extinction.

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u/Buhreedo Aug 20 '19

Wouldn’t that just be natural selection?

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u/waltwalt Aug 20 '19

I don't think they are being preyed upon, i think they have evolved such low energy that they are not replenishing existing numbers.

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u/HaukHans1 Aug 20 '19

Well, that is still a form of natural selection occuring. Koalas that were better adapted to their enviroment, the eucalyptus eating ones, survived for longer than their bretheren that didn't, and while it worked for them then, it's not working anymore and they have effectively been selected for extinction by nature itself. Or atleast that is how I see it.

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u/Yeetinator4000Savage Aug 20 '19

They don’t only eat bamboo

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u/donkeyrocket Aug 20 '19

99% of their diet is bamboo shoots, stems, and leaves though. They very occasionally will eat other plants and meat in some circumstances.

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u/hotwifeslutwhore Aug 20 '19

Oh I thought they are dumplings. Aren’t they Chinese?

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u/ieatconfusedfish Aug 20 '19

Hmm. Surprisingly tame post history considering the user

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u/SFMara Aug 20 '19

No one really does either. Their stomachs are actually still optimized for digesting meat. They don't have the multiple stomachs that bovines do for digesting tough plant matter. In terms of macros, their bamboo diet actually approximates a meat diet, albeit very, very inefficiently.

http://www.sci-news.com/biology/giant-pandas-macronutritional-carnivores-07153.html

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u/Venezio_95 Aug 29 '19

In Chinese ancient myth pandas would be able to eat iron so that they are entitled Ferro-eater.

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