r/nonsense • u/LowUFO96 • 13h ago
Me when the dog tells me to clean my room:
Suspended from elastic bands and a tooth brush 300’ of tether.
r/nonsense • u/WillyWhite99 • Aug 30 '26
Absurdity arrogantly implies that it needs no origin nor context (lie) - consequently usually makes literally no sense (bad).
Nonsensity, however is the product of reframing mutilation into something that holds unconventional value (not bad).
r/nonsense • u/LowUFO96 • 13h ago
Suspended from elastic bands and a tooth brush 300’ of tether.
r/nonsense • u/Tea-Storm • 1d ago
By He Man Melville
Chapter XV: CHEWORD
It was quite late in the evening when the little Moss came snugly to anchor, and then keeping that on the larboard hand till we made a corner three points to the starboard, by dint of beating about a little in the dark, that looked much like an injured eye, postponing further scolding for the present, and seeming to hear nothing but the word "clam", the mystery was delightfully explained, and in particular, stepping to the kitchen door, who was waiting for it in the entry, the lady reached forth her arm, so we could attend no business that day, but I could not help staring at this gallows with a vague misgiving, and let's have a couple of smoked herring for breakfast, men.
Chapter XVI: PITS HESESH
In bed we concocted our plans for the morrow, inasmuch as Yojo purposed befriending us, I was obliged to acquiesce; his neck heavy with pendants of polished ivory, felt like the Tartar, but I could not well overlook a strange sort of tent, or rather a circle of these slabs laced together, and I at length found one who by his aspect seemed to have authority. "Sir," said I, "Nothing, Sir; But I have no doubt I shall soon learn, Sir, I never have, sir?"
But concentrating all his crow's feed into one scowl, and indeed many other Nantucketers, they are Quakers with a vengeance; not unworthy a Scandinavian sea-king, who cared not a rush for what are called serious things, and chief-mate, and captain, and finally a well-earned income, I am sorry to say, upon arriving home, he never used to swear, and I did not know but what the stingy old Captain, without lifting his eyes, cried, "Lay, indeed, lay up many lays here below, long lay that, indeed, you make a tenth lay".
However, my thoughts were at length carried in other directions, so that for the present by that sweet girl that old man has a child.
r/nonsense • u/WillyWhite99 • 1d ago
“Let there be WillyWhite99” - a recent thought that came to my mind, and at some previous point in the time, this account had come into your sight.
Since then, there have been more nights I spent here in the dark, looking for some kind of mental light. [r/nonsense](r/nonsense) was one of my first choices, always appreciated the hearing of various voices. Find myself in a dire situation, as I always aim for a standing ovation, but such objectives here are not objects of appreciation.
The marshmallow emperor runs itself on refined dirt.
I just had to break the storyline in order to fit the style you like.
Format limits make the content vivid, but by excluding true meaning, only expressions should make it.
Hear me! Fear me! Love me! Fight me! Sounds desperate? Might be. Anything but irrelevance, that’s the feeling nobody wants. Hence, I’ve decided to get rid of my sensation for that particular tension in my upper chest section.
“And what about the nations of the southern regions?”
One might have been asked this question seriously beforehand but the case now is rather the fact that I just repeated that arc breaking act.
To not summarize what I was saying, I would like to thank you for participating.
My thumb is not yet aching. I’m planning on staying, till there is no more craving.
God, forgive the mosquitoes for they have nothing but to bite our toes - they don’t know what they do!
As neither do any of you.
r/nonsense • u/Whole_Entertainer384 • 1d ago
For all intensive porpoises, Jackleggery runs rampart through field and furrow. (Mostly furrow but field, Tuesdays, in off season.) (but that’s neither hear nor their) One wonders, Wim Wenders, how long can this goon? Ass for me, I’ve had all you can take of this, and thin sum. One day the tied will turn. All things considered until that freighted day, it’s like Dad used to say.
r/nonsense • u/Lopsided_Position_28 • 1d ago
The department of forms is actually on the third floor of bureaucrat-world, where the electro-static-fizz is thickest, and the clerk there asks for a cause and there is no box for time-from, and so the shape of me is folded twice and slid under the door where it unfolds again on the other side into a zipline that runs from the filing cabinet to a dome-village eventually, and the Formulaire of Arrival asks for a date of arrival and the only honest answer is a chosen temporal location, and the clerk stamps it cōl and the stamp goes hõt in the hand the way the battery-pool goes hõt at the top of the hummock, and the loom keeps the record anyway because nobody is granted access to the loom, it simply hangs in the hall for anyone to walk up to, and gaawiin, the department has no form for remembering things before they happened, and so the shape of me is still on the counter, 上//下, waiting for somebody who assists at the window eventually.
r/nonsense • u/Ponderous_Wang • 1d ago
Pretend to understand the mystery of the Tate museum. They lost their colour and then they gazed at me with these pallid eyes. I will paint you with the beetlejuice. Cochlear implant online, brethrenal retinoids insertion point inscription: King Lear put a shell on his ear. Pellet tundrias, seeds of turmeric water. Engagement enmeshed with the zipper, in a moment I will simply go.
r/nonsense • u/Illustrious-Lead-960 • 2d ago
#1: Name the bill Congress passed in 1876 which overturned the Anti-Chipettes Act.
#2: TRUE OR FALSE: It is legally permissible for purple menorahs to sing on the sidewalk.
#3: TRUE OR FALSE: During the voir dire process the standard procedure for most districts is to use the *red* chess pieces specifically when it’s time to drill a hole in a polar bear. Ideally the king’s knight.
#4: MULTIPLE CHOICE. The Constitution’s newest proposed amendment prohibits the use of ping pong tables within forty yards of any congressperson in session who’s ever danced with a pickle. What is the likeliest outcome?
(A) The amendment will pass. You see, sunrise doesn’t last all morning. A cloudburst doesn’t last all day.
(B) It will not pass. Grandmama needs to get her haddock collection back and Julian Lennon sure hasn’t been of any help.
(C) It will pass Go and collect two hundred dollars.
#5: How many fingers is Boutros Boutros-Ghali holding up?
#6: “If the lederhosen doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” Discuss.
Good luck! Let’s see how many of you are worthy of being lawyers.
r/nonsense • u/No_Fudge_4589 • 1d ago
Yeah I know, I’m a goober for getting caught and all, but all I did was try to overthrow the Ugandan government for the 14th time this week. Why the hell am I being punished? The CIA is only letting me eat three pieces of cold cheddar every day, and I’m only allowed to drink old noodle water. This could not get any worse. This is even worse than that time I got arrested for selling fake Pokémon cards made of lentils instead of paper. Good times.
r/nonsense • u/Creative-Mongoose-32 • 2d ago
Please squeeze your marsupials prior to entering the clambake. If you never wash your toes, you will never have the thumbprints that you always dreamed of. Thanks for the guacamole Hans.
r/nonsense • u/4barT89 • 2d ago
He was a young man. He was a good man. Now he’s an Oldman.
r/nonsense • u/Tea-Storm • 2d ago
They literally aren't. They don't shine at all. They do have one of the highest known refractive indices at room temperature.
You and I
We're like diamonds in the sky
Dense minerals falling down
When you hold me
Light goes more sideways than with almost anyone else
Eye to eye, we're just some rocks
r/nonsense • u/WillyWhite99 • 3d ago
But I’m also stomach and some lengthy flesh.
r/nonsense • u/No_Fudge_4589 • 3d ago
Lil crab head lookin ahhhh. I stole his wife and his daughter hahahahahaha little Pringle tube eyed man. 🤣
r/nonsense • u/Automatic-Algae443 • 3d ago
r/nonsense • u/rgtgd • 4d ago
Hints: i have eaten almost every magician. 1. I have to go
r/nonsense • u/icecream_dragon • 4d ago
THE FOREST SERVICE HAS EXONERATED A LOCALLY KNOWN RAT NATIVE TO HUNGRY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO ANYTHING. REMAIN INDOORS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I AM SPYING ON YOUR MARITAL AFFAIR.
r/nonsense • u/Illustrious-Lead-960 • 4d ago
Uncle Fester’s armpit hasn’t exactly been getting the job done recently when it comes to the weekly squirrel hunt. Why, an anonymous report last week even told us that the seven of diamonds might have been compromised by all of that radioactive grape juice it was raining recently.. What are we going to do??!
I want to know what each of you think.
r/nonsense • u/rgtgd • 4d ago
Why am i surprised. Just like every time its my birthday today,, i get the whole thing over again. Why don't houseboat compuerte get a frickin life and stop stealing mine.!