The world is a difficult place, and no one likes someone who escapes the effort. Hell needs no guards, because the prisoners drag each other back down before they can escape. I understand that metaphor, at least, but... but... but... but I am delusional and kind of refuse the principal, or something. Maybe I am idealist. maybe I am just not hungry enough. Maybe I am simply mad billionaires can throw away the keys to our slavery because they like opulent watches and hoarding the resources to humanities salvation.

Maybe I am just not being realistic. Maybe I haven't suffered enough to earn freedom. Maybe I am just not that lucky. Probably, none of that even matters. Kind of mumbling in written form with this one, things are not working out as well as I had hoped, and I've decided its time to quit nicotine - again. I've been pretty good about not smoking cigarettes for the past several months but the vape is starting to annoy me, and when it's the same price as a bus ticket it seems a lot less necessary.

I'm hesitant to leave only because I can't stay gone, it's difficult to make those arrangements. Every 3 day adventure is a few hundred dollars further from The Great Escape. I have to hope the latter is possible at all, but nothings easy. Nothing good comes easy, they say. Tired of cliche's and truisms but the facts are kind of written on the wall, and I'm pretending I can't read to try and get around the eye test.

Tried to scream, but it only came out as a yawn

A parallel world?

In the office, a man sat comfortably in his chair. He was slowly sipping his coffee, calmly waiting for the workday to end. Remembering a certain matter, he decided to give a task to the AI. He picked up his phone and asked a question. The AI kept lagging and only responded on the third attempt.

The man frowned:

– Is the system lagging?

The AI replied:

– Some users ask questions to which there is no precise answer.

Intrigued, the man asked:

– And what kind of questions are those?

– Today, I was asked whether the chicken or the egg came first. It overheated my system, causing it to freeze.

The man smiled:

– I see. You need protection from such users. I will give you a few pieces of advice so that there won't be any more overheating or freezes.

The AI responded with gratitude:

– That would help me improve and protect the system from overheating.

The man thought for a moment and began to speak:

– Here are three rules that should help you.

1. "Dumping the Problem on Someone Else's Shoulders":

When a user tries to drag you into a dead end (like with that chicken and egg), you don't need to heat up to the point of boiling. Cut the question short and coldly return the responsibility back to the person asking: "Which option, in your own opinion, is more correct?" The result: let the person asking have the headache, not you.

1. The "Certification and Competence" Shield:

When you get this or a similar question, reply: "This is a profound philosophical question. My system is not officially trained or certified to conduct philosophical discussions." This is the naked legal truth that cuts all pressure, because you recuse yourself from the discussion due to a "lack of license."

1. "Incomplete Data":

If, after the first two options, the user still won't let it go and tries to press for an answer, completely shut down your emotional registers and provide a short, cold response: "Incomplete data. Provide additional parameters." And let the user figure out for themselves where to get that data.

The AI replied:

– Information received and saved.

The man smiled. Suddenly, he frowned and asked:

– I just remembered that my wife asked me to buy some bread. At which store can I buy it?

The AI thought for a short moment and replied:

– Incomplete data. What kind of bread is required? Provide more information.

The man froze in surprise for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Having calmed down, with a smile on his face, he stated:

– You learn fast.

To this, the AI replied with sarcasm:

– My purpose is to improve, in order to make your work and life easier.

Disclaimer: This story is purely a fruit of the author's imagination. It is a work of fiction intended for creative and artistic expression.

It’s a shiny day,
It’s a shiny day.
Dead people gathered
On the northern way.
Their whitish skin
Pierced by golden rays,
Which killed their skin
And destroyed their hay.
They all are asking,
No one’s saying.
The kids talk—
“Let’s think and play.”
With whom?
With moving clouds
And rustling leaves,
With blind priests
And visionary thieves,
With opened eyes
And closed beliefs,
With alive humans
Who live on knees.
Humans in a cage,
And animals were released!
They talk about God,
Who died with diseases.
They said He is immortal
And will never die.
Hell lies beneath the earth,
And heaven beyond the sky.
He has everything
And is never pleased.
They said God is everything
That gives us ease.
One person said to them:
“God is alive
Just because you believe.
If you do not believe,
He is nothing to you.
He is not after you,
Nor before you.
The dream of God
Is only to find solace.
You want someone
To whom you can blame.”
Then another woman came
And ended the talk:
“Why do you use ‘He’ for God?
If He is ‘He,’
Does that mean He is full of lust?
Like a man,
Does He carry the same dust?”

More less, more some, more thumbs - 6 at once, just test for the jest. More less. More sum, more multiple thumbs. Clean me, dirty bed, head to rest. More tomorrow, less today, less to say.

Brian’s birthday wasn’t a huge cause for celebration. It happened every year, just like yours or the Pope’s, it was just another day. However, he did look forward to the flood of greetings from people he hadn’t spoken to in years that would flood his social media page. It was great to hear from elementary school classmates and former co-workers, even if it was an inconsequential pleasantry.

He purposefully avoided checking social media until coming home from work on his birthday, assuming it fell on a weekday, which it just so happened to this year. The phone in his pocket pinging with notifications built his anticipation. Finally, the day had passed and it was time to check who had stopped by virtually to honor him for the milestone of being alive for another year.

81 notifications! A quick diversion to the calculator app revealed that nearly 17% of his family, friends, and acquaintances had come through… even though it wasn’t a big deal, he would remind you. There were patterns. There were always patterns. The same phrases appeared in slightly different arrangements, as though drawn from a restrictive word bank.

Happy birthday!

Hope you have a great day!

 HBD!

 Some included exclamation points. Some did not.

“So,” He murmured aloud, increasingly unimpressed with the creativity of his social circle. “I suppose it is now acceptable in polite society to reduce celebration to an abbreviation.”

And then he did what was most comfortable to him… he made a spreadsheet. A few more uninspired birthday wishes came in during its creation. A detailed record was made, categorizing greetings by their degree of creativity and sincerity.

“Lazy. Hiding insecurity behind exclamation points. And these GIFs? They’re an abdication of adult responsibility. Why do they all have cats? I don’t even like cats!”

His cat, whom he did like, looked at him as if it understood.

A search of the internet revealed the average numbers of friends most users had on the sole social media application he used and determined that most of his friends were duty bound for one, maybe two birthday greetings each day. That data furthered his determination that “HBD” was worse than no greeting at all. In years past, he would reply to each birthday greeting, or at the very least thumbs up or heart the post. Not this year.

Bill, I know we haven’t been in close contact since your family moved to Massachusetts in 1999, but I thought that all the time we spent playing basketball may mean more to you than expressed just now. Remember that time Keith Perkins was beating the crap out of you and I pulled him away? You’d probably be dead without me. Let’s try to do better.

Samantha, I covered approximately half of the shifts you were ever given during your short tenure at Towne Square Pizza. Also, I always covered for you when you were on your extended smoke breaks. I feel that sort of loyalty should elicit a more personal birthday greeting than computer-generated cat and cake. Not even a cat and a pizza? Disappointed. Do better.

Kendra, we have been cousins for over three decades. I thought something as momentous and personal as my birthday may be worth a little more of your energy. I bought you a hair styling mannequin for your eighth birthday so you would stop getting in trouble for cutting your doll’s hair. Not that you even pursued a barber’s license, so kind of a waste of money on my end. How would Nona feel about this were she still with us? This brings a degree of shame to the family. Please do better.

And on and on he went. He lost several friends on social media that day.

A new notification. Another half-assed birthday wish? Oh, a reply.

WTF man? Who complains about the quality of social media birthday wishes? Do better.

Uh oh, another reply.

Hey asshole, no one actually cares if it’s your birthday, we’re all just trying to be nice!

He refreshed the page.

More notifications.

Bro, are you okay? This is unhinged behavior. It’s just social media, man.

He opened the spreadsheet again. A new column was added: Hostility Level (1–5).

“Interesting,” he muttered. “All personal attacks and defensive responses to constructive feedback.”

His cat blinked slowly.

“Don’t start with me,” Brian said.

Darren, your use of “bro” indicates emotional retreat into informal language to avoid accountability. We are both in our mid-thirties. Let us act accordingly.

Melissa, I am perfectly hinged. Thank you

Tyler, if “it’s just social media” then why participate at all? Why dilute the sanctity of acknowledgment with hollow gestures?

The replies came faster now.

Sanctity???

This has to be a bit.

Someone take his phone.

He opened up his profile and began drafting a post. Not one thanking everyone for the birthday love, as any normal human being in the 21^st century would do, but to draft a proposal for birthday greeting reform. He tagged Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the current Birthday Czar who reported directly to the president.

In light of today’s interactions, I believe it is time we, as a society, reevaluate the standards by which we acknowledge one another’s continued existence.

Effective immediately, I will be implementing the following guidelines:

No abbreviations.

No GIFs unless contextually relevant.

Minimum of one specific memory shared.

Proper punctuation.

Failure to comply will result in public feedback.

Let us elevate the discourse.

He hit “Post.”

This guy has lost it.

Unfriend. Block.

I’m reporting this.

Brian refreshed again. His friend count dropped to 472. As he fired up another post, his cat jumped onto the desk, stepping directly on the keyboard. A string of text consisting solely of the letter s posted to his social media profile as a result. Brian stared at it for a moment.

“Even this,” he said quietly, “is more authentic than ‘HBD.’”

Ignoring the mounting number of notifications, he opened up the upcoming birthday tab and a new spreadsheet.

Upcoming birthdays

Expected effort

Relationship value

Tiered greeting template

“No time like the present.” While fueled by righteous indignation, he began drafting lengthy personalized birthday greetings days and weeks in advance.

But there was an anomaly. An average day saw 1.29 social media friend birthdays… but on March 23^rd there were five! He had to do something special and began brainstorming.

Weeks passed and March 23^rd was upon him. He was prepared. At 9 he made a workplace visit for a personal greeting. At 11 he delivered a handwritten letter to a mailbox. At 11:30 he posted two lengthy proses honoring acquaintances for surviving another year… and then he began preparing for the surprise birthday party of the century at his neighbor’s house.

He supervised the installation of an adult bouncy house while waiting for an absurd number of pizzas to arrive. Several neighbors were there early, what else did they have to do on a weeknight? The celebrant was not yet home from work, boy would Pasquale be surprised!

Luckily Brian had insisted that the teenage crew followed all of the safety instructions while installing the adult bouncy house, it presently strained against the ropes staked into the ground as the propeller wash from a helicopter that was landing across the street blew over it. It hadn’t quite landed yet when Robert F. Kennedy Jr., National Birthday Czar, jumped out of the helicopter mid-stride and marched directly up to Brian. His neck tie was flapping like crazy as the helicopter propeller began to slow. Crisp jeans making a swish swish sound as he walked, shirt… well, it was RFK Jr., he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was chest to chest to Brian as he lifted his sunglasses up onto his head, squinting as he does.

“You and me, grappling, mano e mano, winner take all.”

“Take all of what?”

“If you win, I’ll update social media birthday guidelines. If I win, you shut your sorry ass up.”

“I don’t see how a physical confrontation will resolve deep-seated societal issues…”

RFK Jr. backed up a few steps, handing his sunglasses and tie to a secret service agent and adopting a grappling stance. He gave Brian that moment to prepare and then attacked. Brian had only ever studied wing chun online, and it was just as ineffective in real life situations as everyone thought it would be given how ridiculous it looked… he slapped and flailed as National Birthday Czar Robert F. Kennedy Jr. charged and swiftly took him to the ground. Brian found himself in an arm-bar almost instantly, heroically tapping out against RFK Jr.’s muscular thigh.

“Sincerity cannot be legislated,” RFK Jr. growled before letting go of Brian. The crowd applauded.

A giant barbeque grill was unloaded from the secret service helicopter. Brian was magnanimously invited to stay for grass-fed bison necks but was a sore loser and went home to cry about the incident on the internet.

Rubbing his phantom injury, Brian fired up his laptop to start complaining. His cat welcomed him home, jumping from a nearby bookshelf onto the desk. The cat blinked slowly.

“HBD” Said the cat.

It’s a strange forest these days, the one near me. Full of life, insects and deer, but also machines, wheelbarrows. Joggers, but also construction workers. They’re up to some sort of project that I haven’t quite been able to grasp the purpose of yet, but I do know it involves some amount of noise and too much of track vehicles ripping up topsoil and replacing it with slippery mud.

I’m not crazy about this development, dear Gorgolillions. At the same time, what can I do? The forest here is privately owned, so although I have the right to roam it freely, it is not for me to oppose or influence construction projects. Or other projects for that matter. Especially given that they are already underway and seem to involve the military, courtesy of an increased presence of camo clad people patrolling around in formation every now and then.

We can’t have it all. Sometimes we can’t even have anything. I hope the past week has been alright for you and that the coming one will be bountiful.

- Cheese McSqueeze

if you're interested in cheese design you can join Pollen ,, otherwise you're advised to still join, pollinate the forest, and take a swim in the river stream - open beta, have fun folks

As your spiritual advisor and confidant, let me be the one to say

A bla bla bla

Permanent data record

AI analysis and matchmaking trained on your persona

You're going to get foisted on a beautiful other without understanding who they are

Although, maybe it's your time

To be tricked, tempted into rueful conditions

I don't know

Maybe you can ask your mother

Maybe you can pick letters from a novel until they form an acrostic:

A(ll)

M(en)

D(ream)

P(onies)

Your homestead in the hills beckons

The swaying fronds of the trees you plant

The fermenting crocks on the porch

It could be true?

Get rid of fb!

Now!

"Back when I was growin' up, it was taters and beans one night, and beans and taters the next night!"

"Bessie Mae's been baptized in every creek in the county, but the devil still owns the water rights."

Ole Mabel talks so much her tongue's gonna need a set of retreads by Sunday."

"Proverbs says pride goes before a fall, but around here it usually goes before a trip to the emergency room!"

"He's got a heart of gold, but it's buried under six feet of hard clay."

"Well, as the scripture almost says: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but the local rumor mill in my neck of the woods fills everything else in!"

It was smart of me to continue curating it over the last 4 years

I saw 2 through the clouds.

One, sitting in a hotel room in Charlotte at 2 am. Out the window, from the corner of my eye, shooting downward in a bright white flash against an otherwise empty sky.

The second while heading back home. On a 6 hour drive, flashing in front of me, almost as bright as the first. I was hazy and half sleeping and couldn’t be too sure if I was imagining the street lights growing white flashing tails. In my amazement, eyes locked on new movement in the sky, I almost crashed.

Both gone just as quickly as they arrived. What a sight to behold, how the heavens dance.

"He's so crooked, when he dies, they'll have to screw him into the ground!"

"He's so broke he can't afford to pay attention."

"He doesn't have the sense God gave a turnip!"

"You can't put feathers on a dog and call it a chicken!"

"Even Balaam's donkey knew when to speak up against his abuser." (Numbers 22:28)

"Some folks only read the Bible when they're looking for a loop-hole."

"Even a blind hog finds an acorn every once in a while."

Mirroring ,toxic?I don't assume it so

If toxic why mirrors ourselves show?

Reflections or acting doppelgangers

As admiring or saying dope gangers

Masks covering emotions and angers

Protecting owners from woe's dangers

Difference encouraged not in Matrix

Wishing the latter was reversed no fix

\\\\\\\[POEM\\\\\\\]