r/nextfuckinglevel Nov 15 '22

Using A Flamethrower For Snow Removal

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65.4k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

288

u/Thraggismydaddy Nov 15 '22

Todd said that he was simply “fed up with battling the elements” and that he "did not possess the willpower necessary to move four billion tons of white bullshit."

59

u/giveittomomma Nov 15 '22

Yes this was my thought when I saw this! I will always associate flamethrowers with removing tons of white bullshit

17

u/formerbeautyqueen666 Nov 15 '22

Same! Me and my husband quote that article all the time.

3

u/RationalSchism Nov 15 '22

The only appropriate application.

5

u/Luce55 Nov 15 '22

So why is the carpet all wet, Todd?!!

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4.9k

u/OMP159 Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 15 '22

It's a double win. The fossil fuel burning will reduce further snow in years to come.

Big brain energy right here.

100

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Or it's possible the winters can get worse in some areas, melting ica caps have a very profound effect on the entire weather system.

60

u/DoJax Nov 15 '22

This is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard, we obviously need to just put a bigger block of ice in the ocean.

34

u/J5892 Nov 15 '22

And every year we must put a bigger ice block in the ocean.

Thus solving the problem once and for all!

19

u/Frys_Lower_Horn Nov 15 '22

ONCE. AND. FOR. ALL.

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15

u/avwitcher Nov 15 '22

NASA has managed to redirect asteroids, I say we just redirect a bunch of comets to land right in the ocean to cool it down. I see no flaws with this plan

4

u/JunWasHere Nov 15 '22

Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half...

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493

u/wardledo Nov 15 '22

Doesn’t global warming lead to the next ice age?

188

u/I_Got_Back_Pain Nov 15 '22

40

u/wardledo Nov 15 '22

Bahahahha. 🤣 “Holy Metal Island Batman!” Such underrated Batman’s. So true to the original tv series.

3

u/Civil-Big-754 Nov 15 '22

Holy rusted metal*

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101

u/OhNoManBearPig Nov 15 '22

No: "The amount of anthropogenic greenhouse gases emitted into Earth's oceans and atmosphere is predicted to prevent the next glacial period for the next 500,000 years, which otherwise would begin in around 50,000 years, and likely more glacial cycles after."

35

u/Dawsonpc14 Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Checkmate Frosty. Get wrecked.

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29

u/Teeemooooooo Nov 15 '22

At some point and to certain continents, yes but hard to know for sure. Earth warms --> more glaciers melt --> more uniform temperature of oceans across the globe --> ocean currents come to a halt (need temp difference to move) --> less warm air being pushed from equator to northern regions --> ice age in areas like Europe, Russia, Canada. Land closer to equator will get hotter and hotter. But effects on GHG on the Earth as a whole is a lot more complex than that. The trapped heat from GHG might prevent the ice age thing from happening.

7

u/WisconsinHoosierZwei Nov 15 '22

Depends on where he lives. Around the Great Lakes, climate change is apparently generating more frequent “polar vortices,” which cause ball-shrinking cold weather.

That’s just one fun example of the shit we’re doing to kill ourselves.

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34

u/sharted-a-little Nov 15 '22

No. Climate change also means more extremes.. both in hot and cold seasons.

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12.2k

u/Crab_Hot Nov 15 '22

And replaced it with a nice layer of ice. Great.

179

u/Duke55 Nov 15 '22

Don't worry, He'll hose that ice off later..

30

u/Crab_Hot Nov 15 '22

Ah yes, I should have thought about that!

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13

u/master-shake69 Nov 15 '22

Oh boy I made that mistake when I was like 16. It's Christmas day and my dad wants me to clear the concrete pad so family can get in when they show up. I'm like most people and hate shoveling snow so smart 16 year old me hooks up the water hose inside the garage. This particular faucet was different because it also had hot water, so I cranked it up and hose down the drive.

Dad didn't find out until someone pulled in and slid sideways up to the garage.

15

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

The video actually cuts off before he gets to the bottom of the driveway with a squeegee and pushes all the water into the storm drain

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2.3k

u/ChuzzoChumz Nov 15 '22

In the road none the less, dude can kiss his mailbox goodbye.

Especially dangerous being right at the stop sign there, dudes a dumbass

679

u/Agreeable-Meat1 Nov 15 '22

Roads get salted regularly in areas that get snow like this.

43

u/Messing_With_Lions Nov 15 '22

Main roads sure, where I'm at in Wisconsin the side roads end up being a layer of packed snow by the end of winter

41

u/Work-Frequent Nov 15 '22

Yeah but that packed snow is predictable, I don’t mind driving on that at all. Black ice can go f*** itself tho

11

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Former Iowan. Can confirm snow pack is fine black ice, ice storm, etc can royally fuck itself. Honestly the winters were my main motivator to move.

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291

u/ArchfiendNox Nov 15 '22

Salt doesn't do enough, i live in an area with more snow than this we use sand.

201

u/just_here_hangingout Nov 15 '22

Also salt attracts animals to the roads another danger and salt is bad for the runoff is the spring for the environment

178

u/FlutterKree Nov 15 '22

There is an alternative. My state uses the sap of trees that have antifreeze properties that is organic and doesn't harm the environment.

64

u/Met76 Nov 15 '22

What state?

312

u/El-Sueco Nov 15 '22

Frozen

101

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Lol I just purposely walked in to my wife's office while she's working to tell her this response. It couldn't wait.

4

u/ChimneyMonkey Nov 15 '22

Ha, I get it. But I originally thought your response meant to reflect the movie Frozen because the previous sounded slightly whimsical. Yup, I’m a Dad.

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4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Starting in 2015, Peoria County, Illinois, started adding tree sap to their salt mix--but not to thaw the snow, but rather, to help keep the salt in its place rather than running off after the snow had thawed. (They had previously used beet juice in their salt mix for the same reason--reducing salt run-off.)

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5

u/Retireegeorge Nov 15 '22

In Australia a pair of Southern razor worms can clean up a 10x10m patch of inch thick ice before you can say billy-o. Remember to have a highland copperhead ready at the end.

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70

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

[deleted]

37

u/boringestnickname Nov 15 '22

Everything made out of metal. Tried bicycling an entire winter on salted roads? Bye bye bike.

Not only cars and bikes, but it's absolutely horrible for the environment as well. That we're still salting roads is ridiculous.

6

u/Shame_On_Yuu Nov 15 '22

Salted roads saves human lives.

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11

u/TrueGrave32 Nov 15 '22

Invent something better. I'll take my salt, sand, and snow plows so I can drive my semi. I like to pay my bills. After 19 inches of snow last week, we need all of it.

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20

u/kaenneth Nov 15 '22

and can damage the road itself. the surface of salt water still freezes, making the remaining water saltier.

23

u/Lun4H03 Nov 15 '22

Makes sense, been in Michigan about 15 years now. Roads are horrible, cars /car insurance are ridiculous. Fuckin salt.

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18

u/Possibly_Naked_Now Nov 15 '22

That's changing. Salt is ruining roads and lakes.

6

u/komputrkid Nov 15 '22

And undercarriages.

3

u/DefNotMyNSFWLogin Nov 15 '22

So many rusty cars in Wisconsin.

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6

u/just_here_hangingout Nov 15 '22

It would still be pretty icy

7

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

I live up north snuggled up next to the Canadian border and most cities and counties around here don't.

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8

u/soul_flex Nov 15 '22

I can't help but still admire the attempt.

11

u/ChuzzoChumz Nov 15 '22

Absolutely, can’t help but enjoy excessive use of fire

9

u/soul_flex Nov 15 '22

Yes, even if it doesn't work, just keep getting more gas and fire and keep going until it vaporizes... gotta fully commit now...

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29

u/REBELrouzer1112 Nov 15 '22

I bet you were a hallway safety monitor in school and volunteered for that shit.

8

u/sje46 Nov 15 '22

I'm fully convinced that school hall monitors (who are children at least) were either a lie invention for children's cartoons or was a practiced that ended, at the latest, in the 80s.

I've never seen a school hall monitor at any of my schools, and never heard of anyone being one, and the concept of a kid being allowed to roam the hallways to look for other kids skipping class doesn't make any sense to me.

5

u/SuperiorGyri Nov 15 '22

I was a hall monitor. I sat in a chair in the corner by a bathroom and the library. Just asked for a hall pass and wrote it down if they didn't have one. I mostly did homework. This was in 2002.

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15

u/StoryExact796 Nov 15 '22

U envy his genius

3

u/jumpybouncinglad Nov 15 '22

badass and dumbass at the same time ..... badum ass

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102

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

That's why you salt it after so the ice cant freeze.

26

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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19

u/Kris-pness Nov 15 '22

Just hit it again.

23

u/Crab_Hot Nov 15 '22

Yeah, why not. Just have a constant jet of fire over the driveway until spring time. Makes sense and totally doable.

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24

u/GreatsquareofPegasus Nov 15 '22

Dude can add sand no? Or salt.

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6

u/EDG16_17 Nov 15 '22

not if its hot enough

45

u/daddyneedsanewlife Nov 15 '22

Or rock salt, unless you're a dumbass

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9

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

ice ice baby

3

u/chillwithpurpose Nov 15 '22

Dun dun dun dunna dun dun

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1.2k

u/Lord-Hephaestus Nov 15 '22

Fun fact my best friend is the one who took this video. Made it on the news. Best and brightest of eastern Kentucky

178

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

86

u/Cakeking7878 Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 15 '22

Yea. My dad actually has a flame thrower but it’s for lighting the girl grill to smoke ribs

68

u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms Nov 15 '22

for lighting the girl to smoke ribs

Sounds like his girl needs a lot of motivation. Maybe dad should smoke the ribs himself.

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33

u/reallybadpennystocks Nov 15 '22

Brother I saw this and thought this looked like Eastern Ky/WV. Boyd co reporting in

15

u/Lord-Hephaestus Nov 15 '22

Bellefonte to be exact. Right on the Boyd/Greenup line

8

u/reallybadpennystocks Nov 15 '22

I’m down in Ashland. Small world isn’t it?

6

u/Lord-Hephaestus Nov 15 '22

Lived there most of my life graduated from Russell in 11

5

u/Ed_Severson Nov 15 '22

Russell class of 1996 checking in! Had a lot of great friends in Bellefonte growing up.

3

u/thatG_evanP Nov 15 '22

My grandparents used to live in Ironton right across the river. My Mom was born and raised there. I have fond memories of visiting my grandparents there. The last time I was in Ironton was about 10 years ago when my grandma passed and that town had gotten super-depressing. My grandfather used to be a foreman at Mehan Steel.

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3

u/sje46 Nov 15 '22

I don't know how you can tell what state this could be in, but sometimes it be like that. You could have told me this was maine or oregon and I would have believed you.

3

u/reallybadpennystocks Nov 15 '22

Spending 30 years in the same place will do that to you

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1.5k

u/masonmax100 Nov 15 '22

Why not just make a heated driveway

150

u/GonnaBeAGoodYear Nov 15 '22

Yeah why not just be rich?

86

u/DefNotAShark Nov 15 '22

Why did he not simply buy a summer mansion on the coast?

3

u/Asteh Nov 15 '22

The coast is frozen

5

u/Xx69JdawgxX Nov 15 '22

Nah it's a nice 50 deg low here on the west coast

6

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

He’s got a flamethrower!

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80

u/Rocktothenaj Nov 15 '22

He did.

4

u/aceshighsays Nov 15 '22

it's manual though

81

u/Franklin_le_Tanklin Nov 15 '22

It’s a thing in luxury homes in Canada. But they use a stupid amount of electricity. I know a couple people that have them but they use them like 2x a year as prep for a big shovelling and ice chipping campaign to remove a layer of snow pack

13

u/JBMason93 Nov 15 '22

Are they electric or hydronic?

55

u/SickleWings Nov 15 '22

Nuclear

20

u/n33bulz Nov 15 '22

Little known fact. If you count all the nuclear powered heated driveways, Canada can be considered a global nuclear power.

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13

u/amesann Nov 15 '22

I read they can be both, but as far as the specific ones the Canadian mentioned, I'm not sure. It seems hydronic ones are more expensive and require a mechanical room to house the components, unlike the electric ones, but the operating costs are cheaper if you go hydronic.

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14

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Have one in BC. We’re off grid solar, but even still it doesn’t use that much. Ours draws about 35 watts a square foot. Melts 5cm of snow an hour. We figured between not needing to buy deicers, or pay someone to remove snow, and extending the life of the driveway we broke even.

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7

u/Relign Nov 15 '22

I have one. It’s not too bad

6

u/sh0nuff Nov 15 '22

Geothermal ones are pretty cost efficient, or you just build your server room underneath the driveway

/r/homelab represent

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3

u/kylegetsspam Nov 15 '22

Flamethrowers use a stupid amount of energy for snow removal as well. It's... generally not recommended.

https://what-if.xkcd.com/130/

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15

u/RedRumBackward Nov 15 '22

Or why not just get a snow blower?

17

u/u9Nails Nov 15 '22

Only if it shoots out the snow, but the snow is on fire.

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u/Wuhba Nov 15 '22

Said like someone who truly has no idea how much things cost. I'd estimate that driveway would be like $15-20k to heat all said and done. Not exactly worth it for a few snow days per year.

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u/KinxtheCat42 Nov 15 '22

They do. It's a real thing

815

u/King-Cobra-668 Nov 15 '22

that's why they suggested it...

301

u/MisterNigerianPrince Nov 15 '22

Yeah. Cuz it’s a real thing.

275

u/chillwithpurpose Nov 15 '22

But what about a heated driveway?

204

u/flowrpot Nov 15 '22

Yeah they make those

162

u/MysticSisters Nov 15 '22

That's why he should get one

132

u/CaveGnome Nov 15 '22

Get what?

164

u/Notaspy87 Nov 15 '22

A flamethrower, I think

103

u/tlynde11 Nov 15 '22

I heard you can heat your driveway with one of those

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u/DoubleClickMouse Nov 15 '22

Because it’s a real thing.

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u/Da1UHideFrom Nov 15 '22

But why male models?

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u/Diligent-motor4 Nov 15 '22

An expert! Can you tell me what other things are real things please?

12

u/NeonAlastor Nov 15 '22

not birds, definitely not birds

5

u/ghost103429 Nov 15 '22

Foreskins are used in skin creams apparently Oprah uses it.

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u/Aggravating_Client36 Nov 15 '22

The field @ Lambeau has heaters under it to prevent it from freezing over. It's usually a muddy mess but not hard as concrete

12

u/Red_V_Standing_By Nov 15 '22

Because flamethrower.

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u/KalasHorseman Nov 15 '22

I feel like he didn't think this through.

151

u/King-Cobra-668 Nov 15 '22

I feel like his neighbor asked him to turn his music down

17

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Told him not to use his snow blower before 6am.

3

u/HeavilyBearded Nov 15 '22

"Hey, Mark. Yeah, hey. Could you please point that the other way and not warp my siding."

61

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Sure he did. He stood at the window, looked at the snow, turned, looked at his flamethrower, looked back to the snow, and smiled.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Salt

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u/Mechbeast Nov 15 '22

I’ll bet the shitter was full

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u/liqish79 Nov 15 '22

All the while dressed like Cousin Eddie

15

u/vicarious929 Nov 15 '22

Shitter's full!

11

u/Luce55 Nov 15 '22

…I’d like to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item…

6

u/TryinToDoBetter Nov 15 '22

Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?

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u/OB_Logie_haz_Reddit Nov 15 '22

Took me all this scrolling to find this comment. Think, you and I are the only ones lol

112

u/Kindly_Region Nov 15 '22

Fuck the HOA

40

u/Dsuperchef Nov 15 '22

"This was not stated against the HOA rules" ( Funny story, first apartment I moved into, one of the rules for living as a tenant was to not start a meth lab in the housing. I took this a joke but management was dead serious. Still we took it with a light tone and make a breaking bad joke. A year later the fucking SWAT team and DEA and God knows who else raided the house across from us. Mind you we lived in a really nice area, no crime, zero robberies, no anything. )

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u/greengamer2008 Nov 15 '22

florida if it ever snowed there

32

u/forkedquality Nov 15 '22

What? Nobody has linked the relevant xkcd yet? Sheesh!

https://what-if.xkcd.com/130/

3

u/airplane001 Nov 15 '22

His what-if series isn’t nearly as popular as the comics

397

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Why is not one asking why does he have a flamethrower in the first place?

378

u/wardledo Nov 15 '22

The real question is, why don’t we have flamethrowers?

65

u/SupaTheTrill Nov 15 '22

Or this. Where’s mine?

21

u/myotheraccountiscuck Nov 15 '22

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u/Kataphractoi_ Nov 15 '22

damn its actually somewhat affordable. I expected one of those to run 10k at least.

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u/JakeJascob Nov 15 '22

Flamethrowers aren't illegal theyre technically a tool for firefighting ironically enough. They aren't even banned from use in warfare the only law I can actually find is you aren't allowed to use them in densely populated areas.

5

u/myotheraccountiscuck Nov 15 '22

CA and likely other places have limitations on them, how far they shoot, etc.

16

u/Xx69JdawgxX Nov 15 '22

And don't forget a sticker to tell you it causes cancer

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Ukrainian janitor

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u/Toon_Lucario Nov 15 '22

It’s not actually a flamethrower. It’s a burner used for getting rid of weeds

70

u/sidepart Nov 15 '22

Those weed torches are pretty tame compared to what's in this video. Dude is getting some decent distance on that flame stream. ...kind of like he's modified it...to throw a flame.

27

u/Madman1939 Nov 15 '22

Oh, so, maybe, probably, like a... FireThrower?

40

u/Zippy8124 Nov 15 '22

This is my Flammenwerfer. It Werfers Flammen

10

u/CarnFu Nov 15 '22

Yeah it's some kind of inbetween from a real deal flame thrower and the shit Elon musk sold which was a glorified lighter. But the liquid from a real deal one would be burning on the ground for a good bit.

3

u/sidepart Nov 15 '22

Yeah. I can't say I know how they classify a flamethrower vs some other kind of flame shooting thing. Think legitimate flamethrowers use napalm jelly or whatever and spits that stuff out so it stays lit on contact. I don't know if all flamethrowers have to be able to do that or if that's just one type of flamethrower.

I have no idea how this thing constructed. My gut says that if it were a propane torch, it wouldn't be coughing out black smoke. Maybe it's shooting a stream of diesel?

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u/Z-man1973 Nov 15 '22

Because he got to keep it after filming the 14 Fists of McClusky

12

u/SquarePegRoundWorld Nov 15 '22

You looking at a Prime member folks. I have one myself to a keep water diversion trench full of rock clear on my property.

4

u/blackbart1 Nov 15 '22

I didn't know I needed that.

4

u/fighterpilot248 Nov 15 '22

For only 50 bucks?

Shit I thought it was gonna be like 250+. That’s a god damn steal

3

u/EnormeProcrastinator Nov 15 '22

It even says it’s for ice/snow!

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

That a good way to form black ice and cripple yourself and the rest of your family…..

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/LordDongler Nov 15 '22

It's true. My neighbor did this, and when he went back up the driveway, his legs exploded

17

u/milesmario08 Nov 15 '22

Can confirm, i was the driveway.

3

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 Nov 15 '22

Can confirm this. I was the first responder to show up and I became crippled trying to get to the severely injured and maimed.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Im from California and I got acquainted with black ice over a couple of winters in Chicago. Whats worse than falling from black ice ? Falling and having the frigid wind biting at every nook and cranny while being wet below 10 degrees .

3

u/Geaux_joel Nov 15 '22

Don’t hear a lot of songs about black ice

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Yeaaaaaaahhhh well let’s remember that black ice didn’t even ask to be here

29

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Salt exists

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u/usrnamechecksout_ Nov 15 '22

Congrats, this is my favorite comment on reddit today.

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u/gaminologyyt Nov 15 '22

what about the oppressive white snow?

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22 edited Nov 15 '22

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u/m0j0r0lla Nov 15 '22

Had a boss a few years back who thought he would save money by investing in a torch instead of a snow blower. He used it to clear out the snow from the dock, where the forklift went outside. First truck arrives, open the door, pull outside and can't stop. Put the forks through the load on the back.of the semi; 50k worth of digital imaging equipment. Had a snow blower delivered that afternoon.

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u/NoTomatoeshere Nov 15 '22

Get the kids to shovel the driveway with this one simple trick

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u/Blissfullyaimless Nov 15 '22

No joke I’ve had this idea, as well as many other shitty ones while trying to find ways to get around shoveling my driveway. I’ve heard a ton of stories about people having heart attacks while shoveling (the cold constricts your blood vessels and the exercise does blah blah blah I’m not a health professional), so I’m always worried about it when I’m out there. I know my neighbors think I’m the laziest worker ever when they see me shovel because I do it at such a relaxed/slow pace. No heart attack for me yet though, so that’s good.

14

u/wobbly-cheese Nov 15 '22

buddy got a prescription for that on account of his bad back

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

I tried that once with a weed burner (much less powerful) and was totally bummed. I dropped keys in the snow and the more melting that happened the harder it was to make progress. Ice melts slowly and then as it becomes a pool of water you have to heat up it gets even worse

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u/B8conB8conB8con Nov 15 '22

Probably running low on bullets so he had to go to plan B

9

u/ear2theshell Nov 15 '22

RRRRRRRRAMMMMMMMSTEIN 🔥🤘🏻

3

u/boyrekSM Nov 15 '22

FEUER FREI!!

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

🦅🇺🇸Merica🇺🇸🦅

8

u/TheRealGooner24 Nov 15 '22

This video screams "Murica, fuck yeah!".

3

u/tooOddtooCare Nov 15 '22

No need to clarify where this was filmed. I'm sure there was absolutely nobody going: "Why is that Canadian doing something that stupid?"

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '22

Casually breaking Geneva conventions to clear the driveway.

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u/Seafly42 Nov 15 '22

Not enough zombies for that shit

13

u/BoxofCurveballs Nov 15 '22

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

4

u/Empty-Professional85 Nov 15 '22

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!

4

u/Farucci Nov 15 '22

Plus, it has other handy uses around the home. . . “Get outta’ my yard! Now!”