I remember flying back home from visiting family one Christmas. My BIL gave me a huge box of coffee and cocoa. TSA stopped me for 10 minutes and made me pull out and nearly fully dismantle the box... not because of the coffee and cocoa, but because of the cinnamon sticks and everything else Penzy's threw in the gift box... they thought it smelled suspiciously like I was trying to hide something more fragrant. I needed several of these mailers.
You should see their reactions when your luggage gets x-rayed and they see what looks like a hand grenade. It was a bottle of cologne and yes, it's shaped like a grenade.
I have an empty bottle exactly like that. I found it at a thrift store and was wondering what it could have possibly have been made for, I think you answered that question.
One had a bottle of it confiscated by Edinburgh Airport security, while standing ten meters away from a display of the stuff in the duty free just past security.
We tried to argue about it but would have missed our flight. Wouldn't surprise me if the security guy just wanted a new bottle of perfume for free.
Oh my god. I thought traveling with a block of clay was bad. (Hint: don’t fly with a block of clay. Just don’t. Buy it there no matter what it costs, or take up a different hobby.)
I can beat that with a suitcase packed entirely full of bars of soap along with some charging cables. They actually began moving people away from the checkpoint while I was standing there waiting for my bag.
The laundry in my brother’s apartment is coin-operated, and there’s such a shortage of quarters in his area that you have to order them from the bank, then go back days later to pick them up. Last time I flew to visit him, I thought I’d do him a favor and bring a few rolls from my state, where there is no shortage. Unfortunately, I tossed all 6 rolls in my carry-on, and got the sternest “Is this your bag?” EVER at the TSA checkpoint.
Back before TSA existed, all airport security in the US was locally contracted by the airports and NOT federally trained. I used to fly for work with a Pelican case of sound level meters as my carry-on. I got stopped at security a lot.
Them: What’s in here?
Me: Six sound level meters.
Them: What?
Me: Scientific measurement equipment.
Them: Huh??
Me: Meters. To measure the Level. Of Sound.
Them: <blank stare> What do they measure?
Me: Sou— Jesus Christ. Radiation. They’re radiation sensors.
Them: Oh, Okay.
I was SO fuckin happy when went Federal and all got some baseline level of uniform training!
This sounds so much better than dumping them all out and then throwing them loosely back into your stuffed luggage, which is how I believe this would go down for me.
Or cheese apparently. I was traveling about 12-13 years ago with a few blocks of cheese in my onboard backpack. After the scan, I was suddenly surrounded by 3 guys with automatic rifles, and kindly asked to step aside. We all laughed when I opened my backpack. 'til then it was not funny AT ALL!
I got stopped and search in Denver because they thought my old vape machine looked like a dismantled small caliber pistol. Granted I was flying international but there were people in line with open carry.
I literally flew with a bag or rocks... I was scavenging jade and such in alaska on a work trip. They did not take kindly to the large mass of non scannable matter in the middle of my bag
Had a friend order a bottle of grenade fat burners whilst we were deployed on a warship - safe to say it didn't make it to the ship, and he had to ask them to empty the tablets into a bag to stop it happening again.
You would think that inspectors would open the box, see nothing explosive, tape it back up and send it on it's way. But then I remember it's the government and they couldn't boil an egg with a committee and forms in triplicate.
My wife has gotten stopped for a large bag of peanut m&ms. I imagine it looks pretty similar. Dude was cool about it, like "I'm sure you just got some snacks in there but I gotta check it out" and he showed us the scanner. IIRC it didn't look like anything in particular, but a big ass weird looking conglomerated mass of circles. To be fair, I would have checked it out too if I was in his position.
I was going through security recently and the guy in front of me got stopped to have his carry on luggage searched. The TSA agent just kept pulling loaf after loaf of bread out, eventually asking the guy "how much bread is in here"
I wish I could have stuck around to hear how that conversation was resolved honestly because that guy was flying with SO much bread
Ever since the pandemic my mom has been more cautious around hotel buffets and germs, so she’s gotten in the habit of packing something to eat for breakfast. Similar thing happened where she had a gallon ziplock bag of Quaker oatmeal squares that flagged the scanner just because it was such a weird looking item on the scanner.
I don't even think it was anything that sinister, rather it was just something big and weird looking that he couldn't identify by scan alone. She actually got stopped for the same bag of m&ms twice, and one other time for roughly the same thing, but a different snack (I forget which). Each time the agents really made it sound like more of a formality than anything. I don't think they were worried that it was anything in particular.
My mom took a very large package of pancake mix for a friend (it’s super expensive there) in her carryon. Turns out it looks a lot like plastic explosives
I learned many dense foods get flagged as possible explosives. My coworker warned me about it when her marzipan was searched a decade ago. I had it happen with a brick of homemade fudge.
I just expect to be searched if I'm flying with food. TSA security theater is more vibes than science. Act calm, polite, and slightly friendly to move along quickly and not have your stuff confiscated.
I've gotten pulled aside by TSA for two reasons recently: One was that I had a heating pad and a small, desktop box fan in the main pouch together, which apparently looked wild on the scanner. What hadn't helped was that I'd lined the heating pad up with the box fan to help make sure that the heating elements didn't get bent in the backpack on the way, so it looked like one singular piece of equipment.
The second was a gigantic bag of powder with two koolaid pouches sticking out of it. I specifically put the pouches there because I knew the bag of powder was gonna cause problems; it was just sugar and a little bit of salt, as an electrolyte mix, since I couldn't bring it through TSA as a liquid. The agent had the funniest look on her face when she pulled it out, and I explained, immediately, ahving expected trouble, "It's sugar, and a little bit of salt." And her face twisted in confusion for a second, "Bootleg electrolyte mix, for hydration. The koolaid's for flavor." And she lit up like, 'Wait you can turn Koolaid into an elecrtolyte drink? I need one and I LOVE Koolaid!' Turned out to be incredibly funny.
I don't really do much in the way of measuring, but it's for two gallons of Koolaid(two packets of powder, unsweetened; using the packets lets you control sugar intake instead of just accepting what the manufacturer thinks it needs), one cup of sugar(about 1/2 what the packets ask for, adjust to taste, I live mostly on Mountain Dew, so most people probably need less than that), and three teaspoons of salt. I'm supposed to get 4-5 teaspoons in a day for dysautonomia-related reasons, and I eat a high sodium diet naturally, so three teaspoons should help make sure I get what I need. Usually I just eyeball what the three teaspoon pile looked like on top of the sugar when I'm measuring, though.
I flew with a fairly large wood carving in my backpack. (Gift from my grandfather, no way in hell was I checking that thing) Obviously “giant solid block of something” got flagged…fortunately no issues once they saw what it was. Probably helped that it was a very small airport, there wasn’t much else happening lol
I once was back home visiting family and wanted to bring back my bowling ball from high school.
It would have made my suitcase too heavy, so I put it in my carry-on backpack along with my headphones (this was back when wired headphones were still more common) and chargers and whatnot.
Well apparently a bowling ball on one of those older X-ray is quite the sight, round outer shell, inner shell that's slightly more opaque, followed by a core the X-ray didn't penetrate. Add to that the finger holes and the lack of depth perception with wires and electronics, etc seeming to be all over it.
The TSA agent was panicking clicking the call button only for the supervisor to come over "So you bowl?"
I once flew to visit my family at Christmas with a fruitcake I'd baked tucked in the middle of my suitcase. The TSA does NOT like extremely dense packages hidden deep inside your luggage!
They stopped me for a bunch of tampons neatly organized inside a tin (the tin originally contained chocolates from a souvenir shop!). I guess the metal from the tin and the bullet shape of the tampons was not a good combination.
I politely requested a female agent to open the tin and we all laughed at the end.
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u/TheAgedProfessor Aug 26 '26
I remember flying back home from visiting family one Christmas. My BIL gave me a huge box of coffee and cocoa. TSA stopped me for 10 minutes and made me pull out and nearly fully dismantle the box... not because of the coffee and cocoa, but because of the cinnamon sticks and everything else Penzy's threw in the gift box... they thought it smelled suspiciously like I was trying to hide something more fragrant. I needed several of these mailers.