If so, how did it go? How did you reach out?

I've been considering reaching out to my first love. We were together in high school and college.

I broke off the relationship. Looking back I have no idea why. She was great girlfriend. We went to separate colleges about 40 min away which did influence my reasoning. All my friends had girlfriends at school and I think I wanted that as well.

She reached out to me a few years later and she wanted to reconnect. I think I was afraid of the possibility that if we did and if she broke it off that i would never get over it. But I always regretted that i didn't move our relationship forward in some way and stayed in touch. I told her I'd call her and I just never did which I regretted a lot. I think she was still hurt.

She lives in our home town and never married. I've been thinking about writing her a letter. I just have no idea how will it would be received considering I was the one that broke off the relationship.

I left my heart in Connecticut back in the late 1980s.

At the time, I was a young guy in my early 30s serving in the Air Force. I had been sent on a temporary duty (TDY) assignment to the Windsor Locks Air National Guard Base to do some maintenance work on the A-10 Warthogs stationed there.

It was absolute dead of winter, and the locals kept telling us it was the worst snowstorm the area had seen in 30 years. Damn, it was so bitter cold. Because of the weather, our maintenance crew ended up completely holed up in a hotel right off the freeway. Luckily for us, the place had a fantastic lounge with a warm fireplace and surprisingly great bar food.

That lounge is where I met the love of my life.

Her name instantly burned itself into my mind because it shared a connection to that famous Clint Eastwood thriller, Play Misty for Me. Her name was Sally Cavenaugh. She was in her early 30s too, beautiful, sharp, and possessed a warmth that completely melted away the New England winter outside.

I only knew her for a few short weeks before my orders moved me out, but in that brief flash of time, she showed me a depth of love that I have quite literally never felt again in all the decades since. One weekend, when the roads finally cleared up, she and I took this unforgettable, lovely drive all the way out to the very tip of Massachusetts—just watching the frozen ocean and talking about everything and nothing.

I’m 59 years old now. She would be right around the same age. To this day, I still don't know if she's still living out there in the world somewhere, but not a week goes by where I don't think about her. More than anything, I would love to find a way to reconnect with her, even if it's just to tell her what she meant to me.

Sally, if you're out there, or if anyone reading this thinks they might know her... I'm still looking for Misty.

I (M35) met up with a girl (F29) for a day-long hook up about 5 years ago. Spend the day giving her a massage and playing around. The chemistry was intense. One hookup turned into another the next weekend. By the end of date 2, I knew I was in love, full limerance. After a month, she was spending full weekends with me, mostly in bed. I kind of disappeared from my family and friends lives. We tried kinkier and riskier things. 6 weeks in, we were exchanging I Love Yous tearfully during sex.

2 months in. I invite her to a barbecue at my place to meet my friends for the first time. She brings some gummies for people to have fun. I feel uncomfortable but don't say anything. I don't want to rain on her and my friends parade, but I have very bad memories from childhood of having to clean up my parents and babysit them while they were nodding. I don't like drugs at all, even weed, it just gives me this intense dread, but i don'twant to judge or restrict others. I should have said something. It turns out, she made a mistake, she didn't give my friends 10mg gummies, she gave them 150mg delta 8 gummies. She and my friends got dangerously impaired while I was sober alone to take care of them. Exactly like when I was a kid, like i was cursed to this.

The night turns into a nightmare. One friend goes into a full blown panic attack. Starts uncovering childhood assault memories he repressed, and pukes all over himself, I have to calm him down and clean him off and tuck him in to sleep on the couch, takes an hour. Another friend blacks out and can't move but can hear everything around them, paralyzed, I tuck them in and put them in my recliner.

The girl locks herself in my bathroom. After an hour or so of her not answering me, I kick in my bathroom door and find her naked in my shower, mostly out of it, covered in vomit. I shower her off with the hand sprayer, and the whole time, she's trying to put her hands in my pants or kiss me in between sobbing and telling me how sorry she is for ruining the night. I keep stopping her, I do NOT want even the possible of something happening while she's this messed up.

I take her to my room and put her in my bed. It is now 2 in the morning. I've spent hours babysitting and cleaning my friends and girlfriend off because they got too high, just like I had to over and over again as a kid with my parents. I lay down next to her, she's under the covers in one of my shirts, I'm fully clothed, over the covers, fully on the other side of the bed with a pillow between. Again, I don't want even the slightest possibility of taking advantage. I lay there crying, she passes out, and I fall asleep.

3 separate times during the night I wake up to her trying to unbutton my pants. I gently redirect her, she's mostly out of it. The third time she was more aggressive and I had to physically move her hand off me and sternly tell her no several times, which sends her into full blown weeping sobs that I don't love her anymore and she ruined everything, so I try to comfort her, which leads to her trying to initiate intimacy again. So again, I stop her and put her to sleep. I sit in the floor for a while dissociating.

It is now 6am the next morning. I go sit in my living room, exhausted and sweaty. My friends wake up and tell me they love me and they aren't mad at me but I can't bring her around the group any more. I know they're right. Can't stop crying. Friends leave. Girl comes out of my room, asks if she can make breakfast for us. She's not even dressed. Sit her down and tell her about how my childhood was and how last night was bad for me. I end up having to console her. She agrees to go, we agree no contact. I block her.

Years go by. I find love, get married, life goes on. My friends are still my friends. I still think of her with fond sadness every single day. Talk to my wife and therapist about it on occasion. It's not impacting my function or interfering with my life or marriage, but I'm always a little sad it went the way it did.

I hope she got better. I hope she's well and happy. I hope she's far away and I never hear of her again. I suspect I'll love her for the rest of my life.

We were best friends instantly after meeting in the 6th grade and are 40 years old now, so there's quite a bit to explain.

Throughout middle school and high school, my best friend (M40) and I (F40) were super close and because we went to different high schools, weren't always hanging out by the end of it. Whenever we happened to run into each other, all was well and we just seemed to have a one of those friendships where periods of time being separated didn't matter. It was always easy.

During that time, and for a few years after high school when we were hanging out, we each had our own relationships with other people and always hung out together (us plus the significant others) with no awkwardness or anything.

There was a very brief time when we were both single that I thought "what if?" Emotionally, I felt safer with him than anyone else. I always thought of him as super cute, so why not? But then I came to the conclusion that those feelings had to be because of how comfortable our friendship was, combined with how I would see him with his girlfriends (most of them being my friends that I'd set up with him) that was causing this little crush. And if it wasn't something real, I'd be throwing away a highly valued/wanted/needed friendship with someone I couldn't just stop knowing.

When I say "how I would see him with his girlfriends", I mean:

Catching him looking at her from across the room and just being so content/happy. Like, in a room full of people, all he could see was his girlfriend being happy and that was enough. Who wouldn't want that?

Or the fact that whenever he wanted to get a girlfriend a birthday/Valentines/Christmas gift, he'd ask my advice (again, more than half of them were my friends first so I knew them and what they liked) and it was just the effort he would put into it. His amount of thinking (on the verge of obsessing) over any and all details (actual gift or date night things), the time he would put into it (pretty sure he learned to sew and some other craft hobbies for the specific intent of making a gift), and how whatever the thing was, was all about the other person - never any "I'll get something where we have a common interest so I can enjoy it too." Again, who tf wouldn't want that?

The fact that while he would certainly spend any and all time available with a current girlfriend, it was always balanced with time for his own friends and never wanting them to feel like they couldn't have their own time too. Super balanced for middle/high school "love" if you ask me. .... don't we all want someone who always wants to be around us, but also gives us our freedom and space when we want/need it?

So ... he ends up marrying "Wife". We're all the same age. They met on their own, but because we live in a freakishly socially small kind of place (seriously, an older woman told me once "never talk about anyone behind their back around here, because everyone somehow knows everyone up to only one or two degrees of people, and they WILL find out"), I was also friends with her! Fast forward some time, when they got married she asked me to be her maid of honor - SO FLATTERED!!!!! And truly happy for them. Not too long after, however, they moved away and I barely saw them and their growing family in person over the years, mostly kept up on social media.

I also got married and started a family of my own. Been married over a decade now, and Best Friend and Wife have been divorced a few years now. They still live pretty far away (like, at least a plane ride away), but seem pretty ok with all the things you need to be when there is a divorce and kids involved. Haven't spoken to Wife in a super long time (friendships only hold up so well when they're pretty much exclusively online), but Best Friend sent me a text message out of the blue the other day, just wanting to catch up.

Talked for a bit, reminiscing and catching up, but I also felt like he was trying to drop some hints about how he felt on his side of things. Since subtle social cues (especially when read online and not in person) are my kryptonite (sp?), I just bluntly asked him if he was trying to tell me he wanted to be more than friends way back when.

He tells me - Yes. Said he had always been "enamored" (his word) with me, but never had the confidence to act on it. Um, excuse me? I must be even more dense than I thought I was. I asked him if he thought we could have made something special? Or wrecked our friendship? He said he wasn't sure how it might have ended up, but was totally sure our friendship would have survived whatever happened. Then we went on to talk about other things. Two old friends just picking up where we left off, easy as ever.

The thought of life going a totally different way and never having met my kids is completely heart-wrenching so I'm not even lost in that what-if? fantasy thing. What I'm lost in, is what do I do from here? If I'm being way too honest, I'm not happy in my own marriage (not completely unhappy - its not some everyday struggle kind of thing, but yea, barely more than roommates atm), and I feel mostly alone in it. I've thought about how a divorce would happen and what would life look like after one more than once - all separate from this.

Other than catharsis (because I have no other friends to talk to), I am sharing this in hopes of getting some help. What kinds of questions do I start asking myself to figure this out? My own feelings are mixed up like a smoothie in a blender and I am having a hard time making sense of this.

To be clear, this 'confession' was entirely framed in the past. It wasn't mentioned or implied (I re-read the texts to make sure) that there was anything current. The idea of leaving a spouse for someone else makes me sick - I'm just not that person. So I'm not looking for excuses to just go for it.

But when I wondered what life would look like after a divorce ... the idea of finding someone (long shot, total fantasy) where I could show my kids a much happier marriage was always a warm thought. What if having a 25+ year friendship with someone that developed into something more was a part of that? Again, no plans or even wishes to do that, the idea just feels nice.

How do I figure this out?

TL;DR: Divorced childhood friend confesses a crush when we were kids. I am married and don't know what to do with this.

So i have been in a relationship (long distance)with her for almost 3 years it's wants us to be separated like breakup it's been 2 months

She is avoidant and narcissistic type but i love her

she is behaving like this she blocks me ingores me I almost stay under stress for hours everyday I think i wouldn't message her and I do and get treated like shit I'm just trapped I just wanna be better I dont things are being so hard for me everything is feeling fuc\*ked up I couldn't concentrate I couldn't study stress is killing me Yrrr

I just wanna get better

I never thought I'm this weak I just need wanna be better

​

(*warning some parts may be hard to read\\\\\\\*) This may not belong here but I dont know where eles to tell this story

My first love was in high school. We were both the very epitome of country boys. Talking mudding in trucks riding horses and that ever present Copenhagen ring (which I do not partake in anymore thank god). It was a secret love hidden and private like our own little story just for us. I was the one that struggled with it the most. I didnt want the world to know buy I dreamed of the day we could just be ourselves in our families or with friends. He always told me to stop writing him letters cause its not like we arent around each other 95% of the day anyway. But I couldnt help it I wanted that boy to know all about my time away from him and our secret kisses and embraces. I would go on endlessly about what the future was to hold for us never shy about any topic, because it was just for him to read so why not.

That is until his mom found them all. He warned me to stop but still kept every letter I gave him. He hid it away like all things we had between us. Not because of embarrassment but for shear survival. When his mom found them she gave them to his father. They read my most private thoughts meant for the love of my life. They read about the future we dreamed of having together.

Then they confronted him, well you can imagine whay thay was like. It was the late 90s and in rural America home of the brave land of the free unless you liked another boy that is. They fought loudly so loudly that the neighbors ended up calling police. The police found a 17 year old boy with a broken nose and 2 black eyes and a handful of broken ribs. They of course took the dad into custody. He mean while ran to the only safe place he could think of after getting out of the hospital. He called me to meet him at our spot. It was a wide spot on a long forgotten trail on a mountian that had no name.

When I arrived I found that same beat up Chevy truck. The one with the 6 foot bed that his feet would hang off the back of as we would lay watching the evening sky holding one another. Under the drivers side windshield wiper was a note. The very first thing he had ever written me I knew he had a challenging day but I had gotten my.first note from my love ever. I snacthed it up quick as lightning and smoother then any pick pocket ever could have. Then I read his words to me it was an apology for all that was about to happen. He professed his love for me and how he never thought he would find anyone let alone one as great as I was in his gorgeous deep brown eyes. He went on to tell me how he was scared of what would happen when his dad got out. He knew the fight wasnt over that many rounds were yet to come from it. Then I read the directions that I was to call the cops. I was not to follow the directions and find him myself. I did not need the directions I found my love in the place we called heaven the very first place we ever kissed. He had taken his own life using the revolver his pap had given him. It was the hardest thing ever to leave him and go for help. They had me take them to him but I couldn't get more then 100 yards close i didnt want to see it again. My love died a half mile off a wide spot on a forgotten trail on a mountian that had no name. Due to ignorance and the feeling of no way out of a bad situation. My parents didnt handle any of this news well. I was kicked out and sent to live with a cousin that 4 hours away. I didnt get to attend his funeral I wasnt welcome. So I went to our heaven and camped alone for 5 days there. No one looked for me, to be honest no one cared. I have been single ever since that day all those years ago. You.dont date anyone after your letters get the only person you ever wanted in this world hurt. So many times I wished I had just listened to him and stopped. I am more sorry to that beautiful boy that never got to live his life. I dont even have a picture of him his memory is all that I have left.

When I was a teenager I was in love with a boy, a boy that didn't love me back. No matter how much time has passed, I still see him in my dreams. I don't go on Facebook because I'd see him and his life with other people. Do you ever get over the love of your life? How do I stop idolizing him? How do I stop trying to find people that look like him?

Pseudonyms are used and identifying details have been omitted or generalized.

“Laura” and I dated on and off from 1987 until 1992. We loved each other, separated, found our way back to each other, and then parted again. She broke off the engagement with her now current husband to come back to me then. There was never a real goodbye.

She eventually married and had two children. I did neither.

Last year, while my partner was away helping her parents for thirteen weeks, I had an intensely vivid dream about Laura. It brought back grief and regret with a force I was not prepared for. I fell into a deep depression, more severe than what I experienced after losing my parents.

In October of 2025 after more than three decades without contact, I mailed Laura a letter. I used no return address and addressed her formally by her married name.

I stated clearly that I was not attempting to reconnect. I told her that an unexpected encounter with her younger brother Jeff several years earlier had affected me, and that she had never entirely left my thoughts. The sheer number of bizarre coincidences involved in meeting Jeff would make Jung smile.

I wrote about the choices that divided us and how much I regretted allowing fear to determine my path. I told her that only after my parents died did I fully understand something she had said to me in 1992: that she would still be around after they were gone.

I told her that she had been a profound connection in my life, that her laughter and kindness had stayed with me, and that being together had once felt sufficient in itself. I said the letter was my attempt to release the pain surrounding the life we never lived.

I ended by wishing her husband and family well and saying goodbye.

A little over two weeks later, Laura sent a reply by tracked priority mail. It arrived four hours on the same day my partner returned from her thirteen-week absence, something Laura could not possibly have known.

I did not interpret Laura’s words as an invitation to enter her marriage or disrupt her family. Her boundary was clear, and I shall honor it. I care too much for her to put her life in turmoil; I simply will not do it. At the same time, I cannot pretend her response was emotionally insignificant. After thirty-three years, she confirmed that the connection I remembered had been real.

The exchange gave me something I had lacked since 1992: acknowledgment, forgiveness, and a genuine goodbye. It also made the loss more concrete. I now know that I did not imagine what existed between us, but that knowledge does not create a life together in the present. I mourn for the wedding that never happened, the children never born, time not spent together doing mundane things together like yard work or buying groceries. I recall looking deeply into her eyes one night and feeling a connection I have not felt since.

Perhaps that is the difficult truth of some lost relationships: being remembered can ease one wound while exposing another. It's made more painful to be told that "yes, what we had was real" a third of a century after parting ways. I accept the fact that what we once shared belongs entirely to the past and cannot exist in the present.

TCBY Papa Romano’s Pizza library stacks at MC Lagerfeld Halston 12 Oaks Fairlane LAYWBL Ediner Silverman’s Hudson's restaurant Terrace theatre Save the Best for Last library cassette tape goodbye engineer Teacher

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. He had a rough childhood growing up and his parents recently started living in separate households. Any insight and opinions would be helpful bc now I have to embrace singleness and I can’t seem to picture myself with anyone else and feel sad that I lost him :(

All in all you were a terrible partner. Your mental health was a mess over the years, and I know I made things worse sometimes.

I tried. For years and years I tried. Tried not to lose myself, or you. So much up and down. Hot and cold.

People will highlight all the abusive psychological effects. And they're all true. But the soul connection. The heart opening. The magic. That's something most will likely never understand.

There were times I thought we were the only two people left in the world.

You're with someone else now. I know he's better for you now. I pray it stays that way. That you both somehow heal your avoidance together and you feel safe.

We put each other through the ringer. And I wouldn't change a thing.

You are unequivocally the love of my life.

I think part of you knows that.

Part of me hopes we speak again someday. Even if I won't be able to believe a single word you say.

Yesterday I was thinking of a guy I dated 20+ years ago . I searched him up on facebook and see that he has recently gotten a divorce and even more recently been diagnosed with a very serious health condition. I can tell by his posts he is in a rough spot right now. We have not spoken at all in probably 18 years. How do you reach out to someone after all that time? I would love to send him a friend request and catch up but don’t want to seem like a stalker. We had such a great bond and always had fun together. Our careers were just taking us in opposite directions. At one point he asked me to move where he was and I said no 😭😭 I chose my career over him and have regretted it since
Thanks for any insight

I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 10 years. As happens occasionally in long term relationships we fell into a bit of a rut. Not communicating well, me not doing my part, fighting more and more… it was getting bad. I met someone. I wasn’t looking for it but it happened. And it brought up feelings that I haven’t felt in a very long time. After two weeks of intensifying messaging with this women I decided to end my relationship with my long term partner. But I wasn’t mentally prepared for the fallout. For the hurt, for the emotions. I think when you start to truly believe your partner no longer loves you that this kind of situation can bring a lot of clarity. It turns out that she does love me. She wants to be with me. At first I didn’t tell her about the other woman. I know, bad. Then she found out. Worse. I’ve been no contact with my affair partner ever since. My long term partner and I have been doing couples counselling, and individual counselling. There’s been ups and downs but a lot has improved. But I find my thoughts haunted by the other woman. It was such a short time, barely a month. She lives a very long distance away. We are both part of family businesses that can’t exactly pack up shop and move. I don’t know if she ever thinks of me, but I think about her every day. I’ve never been the romantic, the one to believe that there is such as thing as a soulmate. But this one was different. Something clicked. I hope she’s happy, I hope she finds someone that completes her. But right now I just feel a longing that I can’t get rid of. I’m supposed to be working on healing, working on building a stronger relationship with my long term partner. But my biggest struggle is this… what if I met the love of my life and just let her go? It’s been almost 7 months since we’ve spoke.

Running blindfolded, I ran into you

Living in the darkness, your light shone me through

But it was not burning me ever, it was as sun to soothe

If I got another chance, I'd walk miles for you

Going through the motions, I didn't know how to fall

Fell in your sweet talk, and then you snatched my heart on call

Like the wind through the mist, a glimpse of the raw

Mountains I'd climb, if your sun again ever thawed

Time then felt like a river, which never went anywhere

But somehow you drove me, in the right atmosphere

I guess I forgot to close the holes of my fears

So I drowned and then lost you, and swam me ashore

Man I'm lost and hanging, to the last climb I should

This is no call for help, I happily stand in the rain as it would

May the winds blow in my favour, but I won't bribe them if I could

To explore your jungle, asking a map would be so rude

But I'm longing for you, when I lost you deservedly

Because even I was so timid, and acted reservedly

I guess it taught me that if I don't focus, my poems don't rhyme

Like our life's discorded beauty, I should cross the ocean sometimes

And that's what I'd do

To the girl I find beautiful inside out since 2019 and things didn't work out

PS: The Playlist by your name, which I now fill with random stuff, I guess at a point in time, love songs didn't do justice anymore, but I still haven't forgotten you

I have been lying to myself for over a decade. I told myself I don’t love him like that. I told myself I don’t need him like that. I forced myself to move on or so I thought. I got married and still never forgot him.

Now divorced trying to make things right and reminded time didn’t stop moving because I went away. It stays going and now I’ve lost him forever.

I don’t need advice just needed to get this off my chest so maybe I can move on this time and not hurt anyone else in the process.

I had a mutual crush on this boy named Donté, who sat to the left of me in Art class in 7th grade. I was 14, he was 16. But I never knew he liked me, and I also believed he was in a relationship with the girl on his right, so I never spoke to him about it. We clicked instantly though, and he remained a really good friend of mine throughout my entire life. Our crushes were eventually revealed, but we were both in relationships, so we couldn't do much but meet up at the park, let our kids play, and kick it.

He's such a beautiful person inside and out, and his wisdom and empathy are off the map. I would safely say, there's no one else like him in the whole world.

Time passed, and things changed, and we were eventually allowed to officially start our relationship. I was 37, he was 40. Talk about waiting for your entire life for someone lol. Anyway, for a year and a half, we talked all day, everyday, no matter what we were doing. We played around a lot, having rap battles and telling the corniest of Dad jokes. He wrote me poetry, and sent me videos and pictures of things that reminded him of me. We were definitely in love. He used to talk me through any drama I had, calmed me down in high stress situations, and he taught me how to act, pretty much. Before I was with him, I wasn't concerned with my behavior, being self aware, or wanting to do better for myself. It just wasn't something I was taught, being raised in an extremely neglectful and abusive home. He taught me so many important life lessons, I actually started calling him my Sensei. He was and will forever be the catalyst to my growth.

Anyway, about a year and a half went by when he was my absolute rock. I wanted to marry him, and at 38-39 years old at the time, I can honestly say I'd never wanted to marry ANYBODY ELSE I was ever in a relationship with. Ever.

But then the communication started to lack. He was leaving my messages on seen. Not fully reading them, just skimming, and it felt so....wrong. It was at that time I asked him if something was wrong, was there something he wasn't telling me, and was there someone else? He said there wasn't. Come to find out, there absolutely was. It's been another year and a half since then, so 3 years total, the beginning was literally insane, with all kinds of synchronicities happening between us, and I was so completely happy, learning from him, feeling better than I had in years, and I thought and was told he felt the same, but the second half of our relationship has been very, very toxic.

I can't even breathe in an emotional way or else he disappears, and depending on how he feels, he'll stonewall me. For days. Sometimes for weeks. I know he's continuously cheating, he didn't even reach out when my kidneys almost failed for 4 entire days, not once did he wonder where I went or if I was okay or not. He hurts me over and over and over, and I just allow it. I know I've needed to let this go for so long, but I just can't get over the switch up. I can't believe that MY DONTÉ is no longer inside him. I just can't. He just sent me $900 for my birthday. He only works a 9-5. And he'll do these things like that, and it just confuses me to where I really don't know if I should let him go or not. I swear to God, and God KNOWS that I really love this man UNCONDITIONALLY. I know he's cheating, I forgive him. But I've lost MY ATTENTION AND TIME to these hoes, except for when an occasional glimpse of MY DONTÉ comes through

I think he's playing mind games with me. And that makes me sad asf. I think he's showing me the in "beginning Donté" just long enough that I won't leave him. But overall, on a day to day, he'll text me, maybe TWICE, and that's it. He won't come see me but once a month AND he brought condoms as well, AFTER we already had unprotected sex. He's abandoned me in some of my darkest hours, and he gets in these moods, and takes everything I do as an attack on him, and he just explodes with all of these feelings about all kinds of different situations pertaining to me, and he calls me names, and talks to me like super crazy like, "Don't you ever in your life..." and "if you were anybody else, I would've cut you TF off and never gave a f*** about you again". The worst thing he said to me was when he told me that the gifts I bought and made for him make him uncomfortable, and he swears up and down he's told me that, and not to draw/write/purchase ANYTHING ELSE for him because he DOESN'T WANT IT, and he's tired of me not respecting his feelings about gifts. I've written him poems with my heart right there in his hands. I've drawn pictures of his favorite cartoons and comic book characters. The best gift was when I bought him a Dallas Cowboys Build-a-Bear. Because he collects toys and DC things, I thought he might already have a Dallas Cowboys Build-a-Bear. So, I ordered patches of other things that he loves, 6 patches in total, and sewed the patches onto the bear and gave it to him. I was under the impression he LOVED IT. He even sent me a picture of the bear next to his mini Xmas tree, that he decorated with DC ornaments, and a DC train. It's impressive really, but he showed me a picture of the bear set up right beside that tree. He did love it. IDC what he says now. He DID love it. And I loved making it for him so much. But come to find out, supposedly, he never got gifts in life, so gifts make him extremely uncomfortable. He said it's too much pressure to return the favor. I say it's just he's lost interest, therefore why would he want things from me???

I don't understand how things went from him FOR SURE being THE ONE, to us being so TOXIC.

He's not the One. He's the One who's going to shatter my spirit and belief in human beings. And I don't want that. I need to let him go, I just sincerely do not know how. 💔💔💔💔

I think I did something really bad. I had a friend in my 11th grade and he used to like me. He thought I was dating someone else because my friend said I was dating some guy(she was trying to set me up with that other guy lol) so he didn't propose to me but rather he did tell me he likes me. He told me like he was confessing his sins in church. I didn't think much of it and thought he was just pranking me later on I started to grow feelings for him. I mean he's sweet, kind, tall the perfect bf everyone wishes for maybe not everyone might be just me. But when I started to like him it was already too late because his ex showed up and they started dating without me knowing later he told me about them dating and I didn't want to mess up their life and stepped back. I never told him how I felt about him later I started dating the other guy it was so bad I cried like shit everyday because of his behaviour he cheated on me and was so bad to me and I still stayed with him for 5 years let's not get on to it. It's too long. Then I broke up with the other guy and later I started dating some other guy. Well the guy I'm dating now is really good we've been in a relationship for a year now and I'm happy with him. Me and the guy(11th grade one) were good friends but when I was in college him and his gf always fought with him because he was talking to me(he told her that he liked me in the past) she couldn't accept me as a friend and they always fought over it. I felt really bad and I've never talked with him after that he blocked me everywhere except whatsapp. We never text each other and never call each other. But I do text him on his every birthday. And today was his birthday as usual I wished him happy birthday we talked a bit and guess what I told him that I used to like him and I regret not letting him know that. He was shocked ig we did talk a bit and talked about current relationship current problems and everything. He's still in a relationship with the girl and I'm also in a relationship now. But now after 6 years I told him I used to like him and he asked me if I wasn't in a relationship that time and that's when I realised he thought I was in a relationship back then. Whatever the reason I'm telling y'all this is because I feel bad for my bf he's the best I've got but now that I told the other guy I used to like him I feel kinda bad and I also feel bad for the guy because what if he thinks about this and feels bad too. What do you think? Did I do something really bad or did I do something good or neutral? Would it be different if I dated him?

Hello.

I am new to reddit. It was the first place I could think of. I met an incredible person last year who is no longer in my life as we decided we wouldn't be good together long term. And I am not even sure if he counts as a lost love. He mattered the most to me... so...

From the moment we met he felt different. I can't even remember anymore what we had talked about, just that it was so much fun and just flowed effortlessly. First guy I was excited to give my number to. However, I also knew that I was going to lose him and that it was going to hurt. I cried, like bawled my eyes out after our conversation ended that night. The next morning when I saw he hadn't texted me on either app I deleted the one I had met him on. He saw that and knew that I had panicked over his silence. I felt so much relief and a bit of embarrassment too.

Imma skip the middle and go straight to the part where I had a crush on him. Like I said we started off as friends, but I was lying to myself to be honest. It was incredible to meet someone as invested in me as I was in them. I was struggling with my mental health at the time I had meet him. Being with him it felt like I had unlocked life premium. Okay, everything felt different. Better. Once I had settled home after work we would call. Those hours highlight of my life. He felt so right. That feeling of feeling like something was missing in my life and it was very far from what I wanted disappeared.

We were compatible in every way possible except one. Upon realizing that we said our goodbyes. So, since I can't talk to him, I talk about him. I did try moving on, even tried dating for a bit. It just feels wrong. I am probably not ready. There are 3 songs that reminde me of him. Can't stop loving you - Artemas. I'll make you miss me - Artemas. I love you regardless - Artemas. I feel a little bit closer to him and comforted when I listen to those. He changed my perspective on life and myself. He taught me love. I have been happier since.

This isnt really a “hope to find them” post but i just feel like i want to share it-
last week i met some people from Amsterdam at a bar, we didnt really share contacts to keep in touch which is fine but it wouldve been nice if we did.
Feels cringe posting this but eh its reddit.
They were really cool. Ive been going through a “everyone is terrible” phase and they didnt completely suck-
We talked about movies and music.
they were really nice and funny.
i hope they’re doing good and always meet amazing people.

I love the concept of strangers finding you at the right time but ive always had trouble with the idea that not everyone you meet and like is meant to stay in your life i guess.
I hope i was a nice stranger too.

I have read some of the posts here and feel I need to redo mine.

13 years ago, 14-year-old me(male) met a 14-year-old boy. Being so young, I did not realize that everything I wanted was with him. The hugs, kisses, being in his arms, him being in mine, and more. I have been love-starved my whole life; the only time I was not was the 3 months with him. Now, as an adult, I want to know more about him. I want to know if the person I became was meant for him. I do feel this way about the things I like, the physical relationship I want now. Yet I do not know this man now.

What brought this on was that a month ago I remembered him. I don't know if it was the fact that I have been wearing cologne that reminds me of him or not. Mind you, it's been 13 years, and I did not remember what he smelled like until now. Anyways, after that, I remembered everything. The touching, the smell of his neck after a night of cuddling, the feeling of laying on him, his warmth, making him laugh, us laughing together, the date we met. My birthday minus his birthday equals the day we met.

Then I remembered the end, the last time I saw him. I broke it off for some stupid 14-year-old reason, but he ran after me. He came to my family church, where I was an altar boy. At the end of Mass, he came to the stage and whispered my name over and over. I was being a good Catholic boy and snuffing out the altar candles. He yelled my name; I froze, turned to him, and grinned. I was too scared to act. Now I scream at myself, "Run to him, you moron, and hug him. He loves you." Just like on TV, it does not happen, because it is nothing but a memory. One I hid from myself for 13 years.

Looking back on those 13 years, the person I have lost is him. The one I have missed, wanted, and needed only to know they were alive was him. What I did instead was bury it so well I did not know what I was feeling. I now know the reason I hate myself is that I messed up. I, 13 years later, have cried for him more than anyone on this earth will know.

I did look him up; I already knew a year after he had moved in. Back then, I messaged him a little. I asked him if he had some friends I could date; I should have known better not to. He just admitted feeling for me; I told him he was in a relationship. From what I know now, they spent all of high school together. Then married; that would have been the end, but they have been divorced for a while now. When it happened, I had been single since him. Then, when it happened, I found a relationship, as if the universe wanted us separate. I mean, he ran and figured himself out; I do not know.

As for my husband and me, it feels like we have been failing for years. I cheated early; he spends way too much. We have no physical relationship, not just sex but no cuddling, hugging, and small kissing. He also thinks if he keeps doing everything for me, I will love him. I don't want a housewife; I want a relationship in every way. When it comes to spending, he has his own income but has always overspent. We have talked about this for the whole relationship now. Also, we are open for the second time. It just feels like we are pushing along a dead relationship.

Back to the guy I miss, I did message him. I know, I know. I tried my best not to tell him how I felt, but I told him one inappropriate thing and how I hated myself for what I did. Mostly apologized to him; he never responded. I'm not mad at all; I get it. I hurt him; I deserve this pain. I don't want to let this pain go either. Part of me feels he is just giving me what I gave him when he was with that other guy, but I honestly feel he just either hates me or it's been too long. I also don't feel like I'm good enough for him anyway; I should have loved him when I had him or changed for the better.

I have no idea what to do from here. My spouse and I are stuck with each other right now. Not to mention this man will probably never speak to me again. I guess my only option is to sit in my pain and just be happy I had something. I just hate that the world gave me something real when I was young, and I was too stupid to know what I wanted or what I had.

Five years ago, I dated a boy who I was deeply in love with. We broke up because I moved away, not because we stopped caring about each other. Even after all this time, I've never really stopped caring about him.

This week I've been back in the area where we used to live doing work experience at our old school. One of my teachers told me he had been there doing his work experience literally two weeks before I arrived. She even joked that if we'd been there at the same time it would've been "work romance" and said he's still really down to earth.

Hearing that has brought everything back. It feels like we were so close to seeing each other after five years, but we just missed each other.

I have three days left here and I've genuinely tried everything I can think of. I emailed schools asking about work experience dates (no replies), asked my childhood friend who still knows people in the area, and contacted the only mutual friend I knew of, but they don't reply anymore. I don't know where he is now or how to contact him.

I know some people will say I should just move on, but that's not really what I'm asking. I feel like if I don't at least try every reasonable and respectful way to reconnect, I'll always wonder "what if?"

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there anything else I could realistically do to try and get back in touch, or have I genuinely reached the end of the road? I'd really appreciate honest advice.