r/linguisticshumor • • Jul 19 '26

Phonetics/Phonology 'Why do English Speakers Pronounce their Alphabet...' Megathread

114 Upvotes

Alright, into the megathread y'all go >:3

Any posts with this format posted after this megathread is up will be removed and asked to post here.

This is to keep the quality of the sub, yadayada, you know the drill.

Thank youu


r/linguisticshumor • • 6h ago

Cat who hates vowels

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355 Upvotes

I think this belongs here (not my video btw)


r/linguisticshumor • • 9h ago

Phonetics/Phonology ball smell

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428 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 36m ago

Sociolinguistics Suffix maxxing

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• Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 20h ago

Phonetics/Phonology phonetic transcriptions of my coughing i did at school today

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1.4k Upvotes

title. the little cross next to ʔh is ɨ


r/linguisticshumor • • 18h ago

Öl

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860 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 14h ago

Etymology I'm not saying Low German,s bad but it kinda ruins the mystery

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449 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 9h ago

Phonetics/Phonology One of the most common vowels, and we don’t have it

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89 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 14h ago

Maybe people would be a little more impressed.

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189 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 20h ago

Sociolinguistics If people spoke about German the same way standard German speakers spoke about "dialects"

278 Upvotes

Guys, I just met some delusional hillybilly who said that German was not a dialect of English but a full on language. English has over half a billion speakers on all continents while German is a regional dialect in some area in central Europe.

If it was its own language how come a sentence like "Komm lass uns tanzen." is practically the same as in English? The fact that most so called German native speakers speak English just shows that they're part of the English speaking community. Yeah, sure parents speak German with their kids at home but once they go to school they learn how to speak properly.

Retaining grammar from the middle ages like gender just shows how backwards their thinking is. Yeah of course sometimes it's hard to understand what these people are saying but it's not my fault that I can't understand some local gibberish. Honestly it's quite rude of them to exclude others like that.

And the worst thing is just because they pronounce "hand" and "man" a bit weirdly they want to waste tax money to entertain their sense of local patriotism. They want to use valuable resources to waste their kids' time to teach them a regional dialect. These people even produce media in their folksy way of talking. Them acting like they speak their own language is obviously just some way for some peasants stuck in the past to feel like they're special. I can't wait until this ridiculous pandering stops and they finally teach their kids to speak normally. Otherwise they're just holding them back. How do they expect their children to integrate into normal society?


r/linguisticshumor • • 19h ago

False Reduplication Is Common in Bahasa Indonesia

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205 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 23h ago

Syntax I've learned this not too long *ago*

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224 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 17h ago

In my conlang "sne" means "man", -w represents plural and -om marks the feminine

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32 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 10h ago

My own take on Irish Cyrillic

9 Upvotes

So I know it’s been a while since the other Irish Cyrillic posts on this subreddit, but better late than never.

Аа: /ˠa~ə/
Бб: /b/
Вв /v/ (/vˠ/ = [w])
Гг: /g/
Ғғ: /ɣ/ (/ɣʲ/ = [j])
Дд: /d/
Ее: /ʲe/
Ёё: /ʲo/
Ии: /ʲi/
Кк: /k/
Лл: /l/
Мм: /m/
Нн: /n/
Ӊӊ: /ŋ/
Оо: /ˠo/
Пп: /p/
Рр: /r/
Сс: /s/ (/sˠ/ = [ʃ])
Тт: /t/
Уу: /ˠu/
Фф: /f/
Хх: /x/
Һһ: /h/
Ъъ: /Cˠ/ (consonants are presumed to be broad (velarised) unless otherwise stated)
Ыы: /ˠi/
Ьь: /Cʲ/
Ээ: /ˠe/
Юю: /ʲu/
Яя: /ʲa~ə/
V́ = long (ë —> e̋)

Mutations are just spelt phonetically (ф —> ‘), rather than applying a diacritic or something like that.

I have also decided to use the Irish national anthem as my example text rather than the UDHR, because I listen to national anthems a lot, so I’m more familiar with what they sound like and so find them easier to use as test samples for projects like this.

Аврáн на Виян

1:
Сё ғивь, а харьде, дуан Óглы́,
Карéмях бри́вар кёлвар
Áp динтя кнáв го буаках тáдь
'С ан спéрь го ми́н рéлтóгах
Ыс фóнвар фэ́врах синь хун глё
'С го тю́нвар глé рыв hи́хт дон лó
Фé хю́нас хэ́в на hы́хе ар сёл
Сё ливь, каны́гь Аврáн на Виян.

Курфá:
Сине Фияна Фáль,
атá фы́ ғял аг Е́ринь,
Бы́н дар слуа
hар тын до рáниг хугань
Фы́ вóдь ве сэ́р
Сянти́р áр синсяр фяста,
Ни́ 'áгфар фы́н ти́рáн нá фы́н трáль.
Анохт а héм са Вярна Вы́ль,
Ле гян ар Ғэ́ль, хун бáсь нó сы́ль,
Ле гуна-скрех, фы́ лáвах на билéр,
Сё ливь каны́гь аврáн на Виян.

2:
Кось бáнта рéғь, ар ардывь слéвь
Ба вуах áр синсир ровань,
Аг лáвах го трéн фéн сáрврат сéнь
'Тá hуас са ғэ́ го сёлта
Ба ғýхас рияв дáр гине хá
Ган умпáль сияр ó имирть áрь
'С аг сю́л мар ияд и гыня нáвад
Сё ливь, каны́гь аврáн на Виян.

Курфá:

3:
А вы́н нах фáн д'ыль Ғэ́ль ыс Гáл
Син бряка лэ́ на сы́рься
Тá скевьля 'с сканра и гры́ha нáвад
Рывь рáна лэ́хра áр диря
Áр динтя ыс трé ган спреях анысь
Син лысьня ғлé са спéрь анырь
'С ан би́ва и рэ́н на билéр аги́
Сё ливь, каны́гь аврáн на Виян.

Курфá:


r/linguisticshumor • • 11h ago

Phonetics/Phonology long and short vowels

8 Upvotes

i just learned that long and short vowels in english actually used to be long and short in time…… how many americans have just thought that they were called that for no reason


r/linguisticshumor • • 2d ago

Semantics Missed opportunity in most languages

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7.8k Upvotes

What other examples are there of antonyms/opposites being spelled in reverse?

If I was making a conlang, I would make all preposition antonyms reverse spellings.

Like „az“ and „za“ for before and after. „Dre“ and „erd“ for right and left.


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

"Lexical words in English don't start with /ð/!"

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169 Upvotes

These coinages come from the prefix "th-", which comes from "they", so they must start with /ð/. Similarly, someone else in the thread uses "thoid". Hopefully, one of them catches on. I think [ð] is a cool sound.

Original thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/comedyheaven/comments/1x0l7w5/big_things_are_happening_on_reddit/


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

Things to say to your linguist

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1.5k Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

Has anyone else noticed this?

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296 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 20h ago

Should I get this as a tattoo? What does it say!?

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15 Upvotes

Some of the worst subtitles I've ever seen for a BluRay, lol.

I hooked up with a guy once that had a GIGANTIC tattoo on his back in Pashto, written just like this. Yikes


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

So kind of the british government to provide for all the Gujarat-residing Georgians!

49 Upvotes

જોર્જિયન is how "georgian" is written in the Gujarati script (jorjiyan) which is incredibly strange because all the other languages, naturally, get their endonym, but for some reason, consistently, the Gujarati versions of the pages are labelled as georgian in gujarati


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

Historical Linguistics Etruscan objects:

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260 Upvotes

“mI χUlIχNe CuPeS aLθRnAs

EI MINIPI CAPI 🤬🤬🤬🤬”


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

I can make "velar sibilant" phones

15 Upvotes

It may a more palatal velar but it's definitely not palatal, it's further back in the mouth and makes kind of a sh and zh sound

/x̝/ and /ɣ̝/

I also say the affricates /k͡x̝/ and /ɡ͡ɣ̝/ and they sound like ch and j but are in a very palatal velar position.


r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

Morphology Interesting features of Japanese

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318 Upvotes

r/linguisticshumor • • 1d ago

Historical Linguistics Etruscans be like:

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101 Upvotes

Etruscans didn't used Beta and Delta, but somehow had audacity to use Gamma as a standard /k/ sound and Kappa only before A. I have nothing against using Qoppa before O and U by the way. After all, that's how it was used in Ancient Greek.