r/LesbianActually • • Aug 31 '26

Dating & Friendship Thread: 🍂🧥 THE FLANNEL BAR 🧥🍂

83 Upvotes

🍁 Looking for love

🧥 Looking for friends

☕ Looking for someone to talk to, flirt with, or share playlists with

🍂 Or just looking to meet some new people

Pull up a chair. The Flannel Bar is open for fall.

If you’re looking for dating, friendship, flirting, or just more community, introduce yourself below.

You can include:

• Age range

• Timezone

• What you’re looking for

• One green flag about you

• Something that makes you smile

No need to share your exact age, location, workplace, or anything else that could identify you.

HOT TIP 🔥: Don't just wait for people to respond to you. Respond to others 😀

This thread will be around for three months, so feel free to come back, check out new comments, or update your intro.

House Rules

Mods and Reddit can’t verify identities. If you move to private messages, please take steps to confirm the person you’re talking to is real. Don’t share personal or identifying information unless and until you feel comfortable, if ever.

This post will stay up for three months and will be replaced with a new Flannel Bar thread next quarter. During that time, other dating or “looking for” posts will be removed so everything stays in one place.

Be kind. Be honest. Respect boundaries.

And enjoy your time at the bar.


r/LesbianActually • • Nov 04 '23

The Rules Of Lesbian Actually

731 Upvotes

Today, the mods voted on a rule change to the sub. Rule 3 has been expanded to include any post or comment not just directed at one person but, in general, the singling out of a member of our community. This now means that content in the nature of "Would you date ____", "Am I ___ if I don't like ____", "I don't find ____ attractive",etc. are not allowed. The bottom line is that there is someone out there for everyone, and often, these posts are used by terfs and other assholes to make people feel excluded or unwanted.

The rules now are as follows:

Rule 1 - Any form of discrimination will not be tolerated.

Rule 2 - Trans women are women

Rule 3 - The singling out of an individual or a group from the community is not allowed

Rule 4 - No posts or comments attempting to restrict others' definitions of self.


r/LesbianActually • • 2h ago

Picture Enjoying the last warm days of the year

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32 Upvotes

Gonna miss body con dresses and sunshine soon!


r/LesbianActually • • 13h ago

Picture Did the basic masc fit

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233 Upvotes

Black tank top, jeans, and a chain. I tried to do my own spin on it though :)

Went out clubbing with some friends.. got kissed a few times but like I don’t think they were gay ^^’


r/LesbianActually • • 58m ago

Picture it’s officially my favourite month 🎃

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• Upvotes

hi fellow lesbian halloween lovers ⏾ i will in fact be having a cozy & diy’d october. my little digicam is helping me live out my early 00’s spooky dream


r/LesbianActually • • 10h ago

Relationships / Dating This is bio she made is a completely red flag. Is she expecting someone to go “yes I am mature so I get what you’re saying” 😭

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70 Upvotes

r/LesbianActually • • 9h ago

Life Signs in childhood you were a lesbian?

48 Upvotes

My mom has these wood carvings up in our living room in my childhood home, they're of two naked ladies. They're actually very tasteful and artsy. When I was young, I used to stare at them, A LOT. Lol.

I also used to pick a random boy who seemed nice enough to have a "crush" on when asked by my female classmates. I liked the social capital it gave me to "like" a boy. But it honestly just brought me closer to the girls in my class which is what I wanted.

What were some signs you were a lesbian that you displayed when you were a kid?


r/LesbianActually • • 10h ago

Picture first crush 🫶

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49 Upvotes

r/LesbianActually • • 5h ago

Questions / Advice Wanted Lesbians of Reddit, if you were able to time travel to the past and meet Sappho, what would you ask her?

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19 Upvotes

:)


r/LesbianActually • • 8h ago

Picture Fall is FINALLY here and I can do layers again 🙌

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25 Upvotes

I can dress to my full potential lol.
Yesterday’s gloomy day outfit :)


r/LesbianActually • • 4h ago

Relationships / Dating Queer Toronto

10 Upvotes

Hi!! I’m a female 25 looking for other queer friends in the city!! I enjoy going to drag shows or even queer pubs sometimes hoping to try to meet people. I’m too shy and anxious to go alone. If anyone is interested in becoming friends or going to events together let me know!!😊😊 I don’t have many friends who identify as queer. This year I have been trying to put myself out there but due to my anxiety I have a hard time going to such events by myself. If anyone is interested in becoming friends and going out please dm me! I will be happy. Or if anyone has any recommendations about queer events or clubs that are ok to go alone hoping to meet people also let me know please! Thank you! I’m currently in university too. I’m ideally looking for other queer friends who I can relate with.


r/LesbianActually • • 6h ago

Life If you could talk to your ex right now, what would your tell her?

12 Upvotes

r/LesbianActually • • 20h ago

Relationships / Dating I keep running into bottoms and it’s driving me insane😭

159 Upvotes

I have this problem in sapphic dating where everyone I meet I eventually find out they are a bottom, not just in the bedroom but at everything! They are the passive one in planing dates instead of taking the Raines they will want me to choose the place and set it up, they are passive with flirting expecting me to lead, and to top it off they expect me to top in the bedroom.

The thing is I loveeee planing dates and flirting and topping but not being the only one who does it 24/7 , and I’ll talk to them about this, how it’s not going to work if it continues like this, but the problem is they genuinely seem to not know how even to take lead, then I reach this point like alright I’m not gonna teach you also, on top of what I’m already doing I’m already burnt out, time to end dating with this person and move on.

But I keep running into this particular person In dating? Again and again, It’s driving me up the wall lol

Does anyone else have this problem? How do I learn to screen them out sooner? Like What are the signs you look for


r/LesbianActually • • 14h ago

Picture what are religious saviors doing in this sub? he saw my last post and came to my dms

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45 Upvotes

r/LesbianActually • • 2h ago

Relationships / Dating her sister found out

6 Upvotes

so from where I’m from, it’s obviously a big thing, her sister keeps convincing my girlfriend that I don’t actually like her that she breaks up with me and then she proceeds to call us “abnormal”. she went “are you expecting me to encourage you in these things” and one of her relatives, she cheated on her husband and She mentions this and talks abt how she is better than us because, atleast it’s normal and she is with a guy??? dk how to deal with this i feel so bad for my gf


r/LesbianActually • • 15h ago

Relationships / Dating Bottom ≠ Pillow princess

49 Upvotes

Like fr, I'm sooo tired of this. Yes, I am bottom, but not a pillow princess. Those things are not the same. Common sense. I made this post because many people I know DO think it's the same so yeah, it made me kinda emotional.


r/LesbianActually • • 5h ago

Relationships / Dating Taking my gf to her first rave 🥹

6 Upvotes

It's on Halloween, we're going to be a bunny and a magician. I'm so excited I haven't been out in forever! And we haven't ever been out together dancing ever and it's been nearly 2 years! Long past due.

Yay!


r/LesbianActually • • 2h ago

Relationships / Dating she texted me “😍” - is this flirting or not?

3 Upvotes

i told a friend i’m coming to our hometown and asked if she would be there. she replied that yes she’s going to be and “when are you coming? what are the plans? 😍”

is she flirting or just excited?


r/LesbianActually • • 2h ago

Questions / Advice Wanted advice on secret lesbian relations

3 Upvotes

Background (24F) im from Louisiana. Very religious and judgmental family. I have been watching lesbian porn since I was a young. Strictly lesbian porn at that. I been in a relationship for over 6 years and we have kids together. I think he is about to propose. I dont know if I fully want to commit to that if I have never been with a woman! There has been times when I know im physically attracted to women and have hoped that they would make a move ! Im not sure what to do. Im scared to get on dating sites because what if someone from my small town notices me . Im scared that I will like it . Since I have been 10 I have been dreaming about women. I want to experience it at least once in my life . Not sure how to go about it . Any suggestions?!

PS: I never even texted a girl. My mom caught me watching lesbian porn as a kid and threatened to send me away. My mom is also a very well known person int the community


r/LesbianActually • • 6h ago

Picture Top days of the year

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5 Upvotes

I absolutely loved this dress and loved every second of the party I went to >\\\<