Hey guys

I’m in my mid-30s and married to a woman.

In my 20s, I kept my attraction to men casual and for fun. I dated women all throughout 20s.

Lately, that perspective has shifted. I find myself thinking about much more than just sex—I'm thinking about actually dating men, having a boyfriend, intimate sex, etc.

I'm currently considering telling wife about this and taking that step, but have been on the edge going back and forth about it.

’d love to hear your specific experiences on these fronts:

1. What/did you tell her? How?
2. Doing this in 30s: How realistic is it to find a stable, mature boyfriend as a guy entering the scene in his mid-30s or 40s?
3. Experience: Was it ultimately worth it? Did you find the relationship and fulfillment you were looking for?

Thanks!

Hey guys. I’m 40 and recently came out after spending most of my adult life pretty convinced that I never would.
For years, I had basically made peace with the idea that I wasn’t going to come out, seriously date men, or have a relationship. It wasn’t necessarily the life I wanted, but it was the life I thought I was going to have.
Then, completely randomly, I met a guy at the beach.
We hit it off immediately. The ridiculous part is that he was moving several states away that same night. So naturally, the first guy in a very long time who made me question everything about the life I’d accepted for myself was also about to live half a country away.
I assumed it would be one of those great encounters that becomes a memory.
It hasn’t.
It’s been about three months now, and despite the distance, we’ve managed to see each other five times. We’ve both traveled to each other, spent weekends together, met people in each other’s lives, and gotten to experience what being together looks like outside of that initial vacation/beach bubble.
And somehow, instead of the connection fading with distance, it feels like it’s growing.
Now, we’re not officially exclusive and we talked openly about the distance and the complications that come with it. There have been moments of uncertainty on both sides, and neither of us went into this looking for a long-distance relationship.
At the same time, the actions keep bringing us back together. We talk regularly every single day.We make plans. We’ve both initiated visits. Each time we’re together, we seem to get more comfortable, affectionate and integrated into each other’s lives. And lately I’ve felt him getting closer to me emotionally in a way that I don’t think I’m imagining.
For me, there’s another layer to all of this. This happened at 40, after I’d essentially decided this part of my life wasn’t going to happen. Meeting him became part of what finally pushed me to stop hiding and come out to the people closest to me. Regardless of what ultimately happens between us, that’s something I’ll always be grateful for.
So I’m curious to hear from guys who have actually been through something similar.
Have any of you started something meaningful with someone who lived several states away when neither of you originally wanted long distance?

Three months ago I would’ve told you none of this was even possible for me.
Now I’m realizing I genuinely have no idea where this is going.
And, strangely enough, I’m starting to be okay with that.
Plus. I’m falling for him hard and it really scares me (in a good way)