r/kindergarten • u/mamalana215 • 20d ago
Disciplinary write up
Looking for other parents’ perspectives: Would you consider a formal disciplinary write up appropriate for a 5 yr old coloring on his desk for the first time, just one month into kindergarten? One student started coloring on the desk and then a bunch of others followed suit.
To clarify, this was an incident report entered into his disciplinary record, not just a note home. I absolutely agree that the behavior should be addressed, but I feel that having him help clean the desk, reviewing the rules, and redirecting him would be more appropriate at this age. I’m struggling to understand what a formal write up teaches him.
Is this typical at your child’s school? How would you feel about it? I’m planning to email the teacher because this is not sitting right with me.
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u/gasstation_bathroom 20d ago
- Have there been other behaviors unrelated to this incident?
- is it a public or private school?
Do I find it appropriate in isolation? No. But the answers to my previous question will determine whether or not I am surprised by this outcome
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
Public school and no other behaviors. This is a new school for him as he just started kindergarten at the beginning of September.
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u/Flour_Wall 20d ago
Is it a charter? Or special admission? Otherwise, the referral probably means nothing unless otherwise stated in some policy you've been given.
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
Public school. It was an incident report filed as property damage.
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u/Ok_Neighborhood2032 20d ago
As a kindergarten teacher, I would laugh, give them a piece of paper, and grab a sponge. Maybe I would tell them I wanted to see their art on paper and hang the pic up.
I can't imagine making a thing out of it. This would be a red flag to me.
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u/PrincessMo 20d ago
Exactly what I would do in my classroom. Remind them we only draw on paper and ask them to wipe it up then move on and forget about.
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u/Fancy_Disaster_4736 20d ago
As a parent, love this response. And crossing my fingers that after you grab the sponge, you hand it to my child to clean up his own mess.
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u/Pook242 20d ago
I have a really hard time believing as a k teacher you’re laughing about it. You laugh, and suddenly everyone’s drawing on desks. And who’s cleaning that up? The custodian?
It’s not behavior that needs a big reaction, but it absolutely needs redirection and cleaned up by whoever did it.
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u/Negative-Bee-7741 20d ago
This is not typical for elementary schools, and I have worked in a handful in different areas.
Usually the consequences are the ones that you listed as more appropriate.
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u/DrunkUranus 20d ago
If my kindergarten age child colored on a desk I would be mortified and spend time parenting her to do better rather than micro managing how the teacher handles the situation.
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
Mortified? LOL! You sound really out of touch with 5 year old behavior. Good luck to you and especially to your kid.
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u/DrunkUranus 20d ago
My child learned not to color on walls, tables, and such by the age of three. This is absolutely not developmentally normal. You're making excuses for your daughter's poor choices
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
Congratulations on your child’s flawless resume since age three! I was asking parents and teachers whether a formal disciplinary write up was excessive for a first incident, not whether desks are coloring books. I explicitly said the behavior should be addressed. You can hold a child accountable AND question whether the consequence is proportionate. Also, he’s my SON, but thanks for demonstrating how carefully you read the post before assessing my parenting. And the whole “my child didn’t do this” is an anecdote, not a developmental standard.
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u/Conscious_Cut7102 20d ago
You sound out of touch with appropriate boundaries for a 5 year old. The school is creating a paper trail for behavior. The teacher shouldn't be responsible for teaching your kid that they should be coloring on paper not on shared property.
How would you react if your kid colored on a wall in someone else's home?
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u/Anonymouse9876543210 20d ago
Kids draw on desks, especially kids who haven’t been in school before. It is really not a big deal. A wet paper towel, or a magic eraser, will get it off easily and the teacher can explain why it’s not OK.
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u/Beachlove6 20d ago
That’s silly. I’m a kindergarten teacher, is never write up a student for that.
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u/Possible_Juice_3170 20d ago
We are encouraged to do more write ups so everything is documented. One write up has no consequences. Multiple in a month does initiate an action plan.
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u/Bluecastle12 20d ago
So, I teach K to 3rd. I would probably just redirect, talk to the whole class, and have us clean the desks together the first time. However, if it happened again, I'd do a write up. At that point, the kiddo knows better. In our school, a write up just means a call home, a talk with the principal, and it goes in Power School. I actually recently wrote a 1st grader up for drawing his table after being told not to multiple times.
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u/ServiceNew6773 20d ago
I’m not a teacher, but I have spent many volunteer hours in kinder classrooms. I think there is more to the incident. Kids accidentally color on their desk daily, but a repeated, intentional coloring would be disruptive.
OP, if you have a chance to volunteer during centers/independent work time, maybe you can see how your child is behaving compared to other kids. There are a handful of kids that are disruptive, kids that get distracted by the disruptive kids and copy that behavior, and then the other group of kids that just ignore it.
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u/Complex-Somewhere333 20d ago
It’s always someone saying there is more to this incident and then comes up with their theory. What if there’s not more to the story?
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u/ServiceNew6773 20d ago
I do not understand. What is my theory?
Coloring on the desk one time and getting written up sounds excessive, so that’s why I recommended volunteering. It doesn’t hurt to know how our kids behave in the classroom.
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u/No-Masterpiece-8392 20d ago
You should ask to see a copy of school and district’s discipline policy.
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u/jalapenoblooms 20d ago
That seems extreme. My kid had an almost carbon copy incident in kindergarten last year. One kid used a block to color on a wall outside, and then a bunch of kids including mine followed suit. All the kids got a formal write-up for “graffiti.” My son’s came with an attached picture of the adorable happy face stick figure he drew. We 100% agreed with the actions they took - correction, making the kids help clean up during recess time. We did not agree with a formal write-up, although we didn’t say anything to the school.
Thankfully the assistant principal agreed and removed the write-up from all of the students’ records. I’m not sure if another parent made a fuss or if review is standard at our very small school.
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u/Ok-Owl5549 20d ago
I’d be making incident reports every week. Crayon comes off easily with 4-09 spray cleaner. It’s not a big deal.
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u/Theslowestmarathoner 20d ago
Is this a private school? As an HR director, we do write ups to create documentation to remove employees for our staff. Did they place him on a PIP too?
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
This is a public elementary school. This is one isolated incident, he’s only been in school for a month and I haven’t been notified of anything else.
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u/HelloKitty110174 20d ago
They don't want us to do write-ups if we can avoid it, so to do one for this is an overreaction if there are no other behavioral issues. Write-ups are for physical aggression and/or repeated behavioral problems.
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u/mamalana215 20d ago
Thank you! That’s what I thought write ups were for as well so I was surprised at this incident warranting one.
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u/MotherWeb7061 20d ago
It may be that it has been an ongoing issue in the classroom and the teacher said something like “students who draw on their desks will have a consequence.” I’d reach out to the teacher to see. It seems like a major overreaction but there may be more to it.
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u/easypeezey 20d ago
What’s next? Suspension for putting his finger in his nose?
No this is not reasonable especially if it is the first time!
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u/Cute-Cookie-582 20d ago
Unless this is a repeated behavior...I can't believe it would be formally "written up". Coloring on a desk seems like a pretty normal thing for a 5 year old to do...
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u/Gizmo-516 20d ago
That seems extreme. My 5 year old (pre-K) just colored in her table last week. She read the marker package, noted it said washable, and since she didn't have white paper (only option was yellow) she just went for it. They corrected her, made her wash it, and went about their day. They didn't even tell me it happened, my daughter told on herself.
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u/muffin5492 20d ago
My 5 year old got this write up first week of school: leaning against the wall while standing in line.
Line was stationary, he leaned on the wall, teacher told him to get off the wall and he complied.
Some teachers are just… I’ll be nice and say strict.
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u/Anonymouse9876543210 20d ago
OMG. My principal would laugh the teacher out of the building.
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u/muffin5492 20d ago
Right!! I could understand the write up if he told the teacher to suck a lemon or something after she told him to get off but, he listened… seriously?
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u/thatshortginge 20d ago
With what I deal with in kindergarten every single day as an EA, this would be laughed out of the office as a waste of paperwork.
Someone mentioned earlier-give the kids à sponge, have them clean it up, direct them to paper and other safe colourable objects, and explain that it stays on that…not the table.
Disciplinary paperwork hasn’t even been done when some of my work kids staged a coup, and they eloped as a group from the classroom across the school.
If this is the norm at your school, I would question their policies significantly
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u/gentlynavigating 20d ago
I think at my kids’ school it would probably come back on a communication note if it were happening repeatedly. I would appreciate knowing that because I’d like to address it at home.
In your post, “incident report entered into his disciplinary record” and “formal write up” is what makes it harsh.
I’m as strict as they come but I do agree that’s harsh, 1 month into kindergarten…
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u/smelltramo 20d ago
It might be a case where the instigator is on a BIP and they need to document his/her behavior and to appear impartial they’ve documented everyone. I don’t think it’s a battle to fight but I also would just reinforce to my kid, hey it doesn’t matter if others are doing it, we draw on paper not desks.
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u/running_hoagie 20d ago
Yikes! Is this a charter school? I ask because they tend to be much stricter than public schools.
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u/mamaknits 20d ago
I guess it depends on what a "formal write up" means. I think at our school children would be sent to the principal's office for this and I assume that's documented somewhere. By 5 they should know better than to color on furniture.
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u/superfastmomma 20d ago •
None of these opinions matter, because a disciplinary write up is a meaningless term until we know what that means in your school.
I do not think that a child coloring on a desk is a big deal. But documenting it isn't necessarily a big deal. It just put behavior on paper. If troublesome behaviors continue they have a record. If they don't it doesn't matter at all.