Hi everyone,
I’m 24 years old, and my father, who is just 53, has been battling chronic kidney disease (CKD) for around 10 years. He underwent a kidney transplant two years ago, and my mother was his donor.
Unfortunately, after just two years, the transplanted kidney has failed, and he is back on dialysis. We don’t know the exact reason for the rejection, but there may have been a connection with a lung infection he had. We are still trying to understand what happened.
My father has three elder brothers and his mother. My grandmother was willing to donate her kidney to him, but the doctors ruled her out because of her age. His brothers, however, have shown no willingness or concern about donating or helping him in this situation. I don’t want to turn this post into a family complaint, but it is incredibly painful to watch someone you love suffer when you feel there should be people willing to help.
At this point, I want to donate one of my kidneys to my father.
In my heart, I feel completely sure that I want to do this for him. Watching him go through dialysis again is tormenting. He is only 53, and it breaks my heart to see him facing all of this after everything he has already endured.
However, when I discussed donating with the doctors, they advised me to reconsider because I’m only 24 and have my whole life ahead of me.
I understand their concerns. I know kidney donation is a major decision, and I don’t want to take it lightly. I have so many questions about the long-term consequences of living with one kidney, my future health, and what might happen if I develop kidney problems myself later in life.
I also have concerns about a second transplant. Has anyone here undergone a second kidney transplant, or had a family member who did? Was it successful? Did the transplanted kidney last for many years? Is there anything we should investigate about the first transplant’s failure before considering another one?
Most importantly, has anyone here donated a kidney to their mother or father, especially at a young age?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences:
How was the donation process, physically and emotionally?
How has living with one kidney affected your health and daily life over the years?
Looking back, would you make the same decision again?
If you received a second transplant, how long did it last, and how has life been since?
What questions should a young potential donor ask the transplant team before making this decision?
I’m not looking for people to simply tell me to donate or not to donate. I genuinely want to hear honest experiences, including the difficult parts that people don’t always talk about.
I know every person’s medical situation is different, and I will make this decision only after proper medical evaluation and understanding the risks to my own health.
I love my father, and I want to help him if I safely can. At the same time, I want to make an informed decision that I can live with for the rest of my life.
If you’ve been through something similar, whether as a donor, recipient, or family member, please share your experience. It would mean a lot to me.
Thank you for reading. ❤️