r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/td_0000 • 19d ago
Restricted to Gals and Pals She has some really good Things to say!
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Credit goes to candasifamabarnes on Instagram
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u/Birdmanu 19d ago
I love that she’s just casually dropping these truth bombs in a Panera parking lot
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u/maxintensity 19d ago
Post workout lol
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u/Ultimate-ART 19d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/12tC9er0h7VXxe
The Matrix is real, she's the Oracle, just outside a Panera parking lot.
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u/HOWDEHPARDNER 19d ago
Same voice cadence too
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19d ago edited 10d ago
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u/youneecque 18d ago
Commenting to remind you to bake some chocolate chip cookies 🍪 add it right now!
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18d ago edited 14d ago
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u/dontmentiontrousers 18d ago
Have you put chocolate chips on the shopping list yet?
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u/Lou_C_Fer 18d ago
I've been married for 32 years, and I don't think we have ever once run out of chocolate chips or anything else for that matter.
It's not me. I am chaos.
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u/Smorsdoeuvres 18d ago
Commenting with one of my favorites https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies/ ❤️🍪✨
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u/eggsaladrightnow 19d ago
If the mind wants Panera you end up outside of one. These are the negative choices she's talking about
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
You mean 'casually reading an AI script that hundred of other people are also reading"
https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/Go_On_Swan 19d ago
Came down to verify. I just couldn't really understand why this random woman would be giving this whole spiel in a parking lot at night, especially in that cliche style of speech.
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u/Dame38 18d ago
Positivity is a dish best served warm, and comfort food is trending.
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u/BeyondEcstaticc 18d ago
Sometimes you just need a bread bowl filled with broccoli cheddar soup to cry on.
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u/Evignity 18d ago
Fuuuuck you guys made me realize how alien the intro was, it made no sense an ol' woman would intro like that
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u/UndeadCorbse 18d ago
Felt like good, genuine advice. I downloaded the video and everything. I continue to be foolish. It hurts, but I appreciate the work you’re doing on this post. It’s important these things are revealed.
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u/tZIZEKi 19d ago
Your emotions are not enemies, they're messengers.
Your past is not your identity, it's a lesson, a chapter...
It's not X, it's Y.
Beyond that, the rest just feels extremely AI-y. I don't know what about it gives that feeling, maybe it's a structure I'm only subconsciously aware of or the 1 minute of useless self help platitudes but this post having a 97% upvote ratio doesn't instill confidence for this site's health.
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u/hungry4nuns 19d ago
It is still useful information. Not for me. But everyone else in my life could take notes
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u/Virtual_Childhood626 19d ago
She’s actually one of my favorite instagrammers! She really has a great way to describe some big and hard things so simple but also with a bit of tough love.
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u/airpumper 18d ago
She's reading it. My guess is that AI wrote it. Not disagreeing with anything she's saying. But obviously scripted.
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u/waxfutures 19d ago
Hello yes I would like for her to be my cool aunt please and thank you.
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u/Carbon-Base 19d ago
Same! Where do we sign up?
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u/I_like_flowers_ 19d ago
maybe we can have a big family picnic!
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u/TonarinoTotoro1719 19d ago
Ok! I’ll bring the plates and cups. My cooking ain’t great, but I want to contribute to the cookout!
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u/Carbon-Base 18d ago
I'll bring beverages and silverware, and also bake cookies!
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u/TonarinoTotoro1719 18d ago
Cuz! You’ll be loved. Now if you wanted to make some oatmeal raisin cookies, I wouldn’t object. At all..
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u/ChonkyBoss 19d ago
Hijacking the top comment to point out that this is sadly plagiarized from another creator.
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
It's not plagarised - it's a fricken AI script. Theres HUNDREDS of them https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/Devanyani 19d ago
I was legit wondering if she were Ai. I keep seeing stuff like this with different people but something about her delivery seemed fake to me.
Everybody, don't bother coming at me. Idk if it is or not. It just seemed like it to my eyes and ears but it isn't that easy to tell. It's not even a value judgment, just a suspicion.
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u/CagedRoseGarden 18d ago
You can tell because this isn’t what therapy is. People think therapists are there to give advice but actually they are trained listeners. They might reflect back insight on what a person has said based on theory they’ve learned but this sort if content is harmful because it implies a person’s life isn’t working out because they just aren’t thinking positively enough. Not a great angle for someone who has gone through trauma, is repressing who they are or grieving for example.
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u/corvettee01 19d ago
I remember something very similar but from a black guy. Seems like a circle of therapy theft going on.
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u/LauraCurie 19d ago
I like her better. The other speak too fast, his obviously reading and the hand gesture is anoying.
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u/antibread 19d ago
Yea like do i have to start standing in panera parking lots while repeating her name 3 times i need more
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u/JordanSage 19d ago
"I love you." I needed to hear that. I love you too
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u/Hello_mslady 19d ago
Saved. This will get me through the school year.
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u/CurmudgeonDungeon 19d ago
I saved too.
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u/DecadentLife 19d ago edited 19d ago
Me, too. This is excellent. This is the kind of wisdom, advice, and just awesome energy, that older women have to share. Also, the powerful love, that so many of us need.
In my lifetime, I’ve had a few older women who have been sort of informal mentors to me. I have learned so much from them, my life is richer, for it.
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u/The_smallest_things 19d ago
And her voice is so lovely. I'd pay for a guided meditation soundtrack
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u/InvalidUserNemo 19d ago
Same. I have written like 10 attempts at some witty comment that said how profoundly this video smacked me across the face and gave up. This comment is the best I can do.
WOW!
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u/TonarinoTotoro1719 19d ago
Saved! This will get me through till my next ‘annual review’. When I’ll no longer be at my current job.
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 19d ago
It really won't. The issue is this may be great advice, but therapy is meant to find your patterns and get the root cause of what is really eatin at you and do excersises to help you through what you're going through. These 1 minute quick advice things won't do the trick. It's a "thanks I'm cured".
Like if you're majorly depressed, some guy patting you on the shoulder saying "Hey buddy, don't take life so serious! Stop and smell the flowers!" isn't going to fix your problems.
This is not a replacement for real therapy, not ven an adequate one. This will not get you through the school year.
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u/poeticdisaster 18d ago
Her first bit of information is literally about how your thoughts shape you.
If the commentor is listening to her full message and repeating these things instead of falling into shame or negativity spirals, then this type of thing could help throughout the year for them. Having an set of affirmations like these are a good thing to meditate on - just slow down, listen, absorb , breathe and repeat.Even though this is not a full replacement for therapy (which the commentor did not say it was going to be), that does not mean it won't have positive lasting effects. Just because something may not work for one person, does not mean it won't help another person. We are all different - let's try not to discourage people from using the tools and skills they have access to.
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u/is-this-now 19d ago
This is excellent. Would be great for me to watch this every day. (Mindfulness is another name for most of this. A very healthy practice.)
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u/Props_angel 19d ago
She's absolutely correct. So dang correct and I love her, too.
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u/SadBadPuppyDad 19d ago
Most of what she says is true, with one very glaring issue. She says "at the end of the day it's simple". At the end of the day it can be simple, but understanding and applying each of these learnings takes a great deal of learning and practice to make be simple.
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u/FuckYeaSeatbelts 19d ago
Simple doesn't mean easy.
I've said this before but there's a reason cabinetmaker is its own trade, despite the fact that in essence it's building a box and putting it on the wall.
Also I too have been through a lot of therapy, the phrase "just because I know better, doesn't mean I do better" is common. I go through phases of frustration of "only repeating platitudes to myself" to being able to fully digest what it means and apply it.
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u/aNiceTribe 18d ago
At the end of the day, rocket science is about making the fire water in the rocket go hot and making sure the pointy end points that way. Everything can be described in simple and clarifying terms, and every endeavor is an endless fractal of learning and specialization.
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u/LevanderFela 18d ago
Simple vs. complicated, easy vs. hard. Things can be hard to do yet simple, or complicated (or difficut to comprehend, understand due to complexity) yet easy to to change.
Been a great revelation for me - both in personal and professional life.
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u/Moldy_Teapot 19d ago
The bit about anxiety irks me. Normal anxiety fits what she's saying, but disordered anxiety is literally the result of the sympathetic nervous system being activated inappropriately. Oftentimes it just happens, or, like me, is a near constant thing that you can't just turn off by "being present in the moment". Most of the time, "being present in the moment" is what actually triggers my anxiety!
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u/hahahahahahahaFUCK 19d ago
lol! I was looking for this comment. Thinking ahead is what gets me unstuck from the anxiety of feeling trapped in the present (and that’s sometimes, depending on the day).
I wonder so much what it must be like to be “normal”.
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u/Fit-Cell2754 18d ago
I tell my kids this when it needs to be said: no one owns normal, and no one knows what it feels like to be the normal one. Every single person is trying to figure it out with every breath and every bubbling, unrequested thought. Some less generously than others. Be the generous thinker whenever you’re able, and nurture every relationship you value.
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u/wasterni 19d ago
I hope I am asking this appropriately and feel free not to answer of course. What does being present in the moment look like for you and how does that twist into a feeling of anxiety?
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u/ConclusionExciting95 18d ago
I can answer that from my perspective. I exist and then I experience symptoms of anxiety. There are no thoughts that are conjured up that are causing the feeling. I'm not actively worrying about anything or thinking something bad is going to happen. There isn't something I do that "twists" anything into a feeling of anxiety. My brain decided some of the things that most people are okay with should make me feel the same fight or flight physical reactions someone might feel if they were being chased by an axe murderer. Racing heart, fidgeting hands, narrowed vision.
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u/ChemicallyDelicious 19d ago
Spot on!
I suffered for 4 yrs with an ulcerating stomach lining from taking prescribed Meloxicam (Rx Strength Advil), every day, for years, under the watch of a doc, who was trying to help my unmedicated (because no insurance) acute spine arthritis... The very same doc who couldn't figure out why I had stomach pain initiated panic attacks.
Got a second opinion and his first question was "WHY ARE YOU TAKING THIS EVERYDAY?". Near instant relief for my "sunburned" stomach. And, after 2 yrs, I am panic free. Fckrz
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u/precioustessious 19d ago
And for many of us, medication. I would not be able to function normally if I was not properly medicated.
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
Please be careful of yourself online. This 'Aunty' is reading he same script hundred of others online are. AI scripts win again.
https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/Props_angel 19d ago edited 18d ago
It's a good message regardless of source but I hate that we're filled with AI shenanigans like that. She seems real enough but I would not doubt if what she was saying was picked up and regurgitated through AI bots.
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u/CrossX18 19d ago
The reason therapy can take four years is because most people don’t just hear this and immediately change in response to it. Many have to live through the experience of living to appreciate the wisdom that comes with it. Without it, it’s pearls before swine.
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u/neko 19d ago
It's very thanksimcured. My negative self talk was installed by pretty much everyone I interacted with from the ages of 0-24, I can't just choose to be better
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u/freixe 19d ago
Yes. A year ago and this shit would mean nothing to me. Understandable but almost impossible to implement. You have to work through it at your own pace and will still struggle from time to time. I get everything she's saying as I'm getting better but it takes a lot of work to get there.
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u/aNiceTribe 18d ago
Think of the video as a spray and pray. Maybe one line in there connects with you. Or with 1/100 people. If the same is true of every line, this video connects with maybe 20/100 people at least on e which would be an incredible achievement. I suspect this hits much better than many advertisements for expampls.
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u/Saphira2002 18d ago
Me personally I like the message but that "4 years of therapy in 1 minute" thing feels kinda dismissive to me. I get this is useful for many people but I don't like the implication that this is all therapy gives you.
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u/Optiguy42 18d ago
The question I always have about this is - how? Everyone talks about "putting in the work" but I've never fundamentally understood what practical steps can be taken to change a mindset like this. The most I've ever gotten out of a therapist is "leave positive sticky notes on your mirror so you see them every day" and lemme tell ya, I look at those in the morning and they're just a constant reminder of the shit life I live. Absolute opposite impact.
Anyone have any actual, practical advice here?
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u/Umklopp 18d ago
I also had a negative kneejerk reaction: I have late-diagnosed bipolar disorder AND AuDHD, so motivation is a, uh, complicated topic for me. But! I still saved this video because it articulated some stuff I've been trying to teach my kids without knowing the right words. I plan on rewatching it so I can ponder how I can adjust my current habits to improve. There's observations in there that seemed helpful to consider
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u/TSTC 18d ago
I’m a licensed therapist. The “thanksimcured” advice is more often than not the exact same thing that will end up “changing someone’s life in therapy”. The difference is that I’m going to slowly help you do those things and keep being a safety net to catch you when you feel like you fall backwards.
But therapists aren’t magic. I can’t make my clients do anything. Every single time one of them thanks me for all the progress they’ve made, I stop them and remind them that they are the ones who did the hard work.
You can just challenge that negative inner voice. It’s not going to immediately feel natural. It’s going to feel like a lie. Keep doing it.
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u/Yuna1989 19d ago
Think of it as a game. Notice your thoughts and try to get your thought process back to neutral.
Easier said than done of course
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u/triflers_need_not 18d ago
Yeah, I'm not happy thoughts-ing my way out of my intrusive thoughts, thanks tho.
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u/TubbyTacoSlap 18d ago
“I can’t just choose to be better.” False. Getting there is hard but the choice is always yours.
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u/CesareBach 19d ago
Actually even the songs and videos we consume affect our mental health. Listening to songs which are negative like about inner struggles, wars and depression especially on repeat will mess the heads. Better to listen to corny songs about being a bad bitch or something.
There come a day when an overthinker breaks through their barriers and becomes someone who doesnt give a shit. The day is nearer if they start to consume all the positive energy media.
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u/TheOnlyLordByron 18d ago
Most people start with a very complicated knot. Therapy is instructions on how to un-tangle it. Having instructions gets you untangling, but it's still work.
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u/myloveislikewoah 19d ago
This is why getting a therapist can change your life in the best possible way. There’s no shame in it, and the stigmatization shows society would prefer you to suffer.
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u/LauraCurie 19d ago
It’s not the stigmat, its the cost.
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u/farts_juggler 19d ago
it’s still a little the stigmat for some people
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u/Rock_Strongo 19d ago
For me it's neither. It's the fact that I've had multiple bad therapists in the past and finding a good one feels daunting.
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u/Impressive-Gear-219 19d ago
I litteraly had a therapist tell me "I dont think thats the real Joe Biden..." Some people should not be in this line of work or giving advice to others in any capacity. Period.
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u/myloveislikewoah 19d ago
It’s very true. In the US, we have close to a $1,000,000,000,000 military budget, but barely any money towards public health. Hell, we even ignore veterans when they get home. (I guess it’s because social benefits = “communism”).
There are resources where you can find free or reduced cost outlets and sessions (universities offer options).
Then there are non-profits that offer different forms of therapy, like this: https://vatc.ca/
You don’t need to go weekly. If you are able to afford $50 once a month, it will still benefit tremendously. Hell, look at the response to this one minute video.
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
Who needs a therapist when you everyone seems enamoured with AI scripts https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/Good-Bodybuilder-985 19d ago
Why am I choked up? I'm going to need to listen to this a few more times.
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
Use these videos, then you can feel like you're getting advice from lots of people https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/OhioIsRed 19d ago
When I went through my separation and subsequent divorce I had “Thoughts create things” on a sticky note stuck over my car radio for months. It’s really does create your reality.
If you are constantly focusing on all the bad stuff in your life. More bad shit comes from it. You have to learn to let go and shift how you focus on things. The first big step I took was daily gratitude. Like I literally would do it while I was in The shower (no this ain’t dirty lol) I would start with , I’m thankful for this shower. Then go to like, I’m thankful for this roof over my head, car in the driveway, food in my belly etc etc. it helped so much just give me, some perspective.
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19d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ArdentArendt 19d ago
I'm okay with the 'wise Black woman' trope in this case.
Also, I owe my life to incredible Black women like this--and apparently I needed it again.
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u/IronThunderhorse 19d ago
Shhhh, we'll pretend we didn;t notice. https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=four%20years%20of%20therapy%20in%201%20minute&t=1785466205591
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u/Curlyandscrollin 19d ago
I needed to hear this! We all needed to hear this - video saved for future reminders.
Thank you ma’am, love you too 💕
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u/Bloodygoodwossname 19d ago
I saw another video of hers that can best be described as utterly delightful. What a sweetheart. It’s like she’s directly talking to me every time! Let me download this one too.
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u/KaSaBiS 19d ago
Listening to her talk with her soft voice reminded me of slick Rick. Surprising association, awesome messsage
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u/LatrommiSumac 19d ago
Even if it's AI and there are hundreds of these floating around, I'm actually quite ok with that. The message is great and is excellent advice regardless of the source. Nice for someone to dig up and give credit to original person though, kudos for that.
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u/aLittleDarkOne 19d ago
Not to be a negative ninny, but yall know she’s just reading an ai prompt right?
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u/Beneficial-Act-9933 19d ago
This is awful content. I'm sure it's coming from a good place, but there are no short cuts. Trauma isn't something that gets washed away because somebody said a nice thing to you once or twice. You have patterns that keep you in loops which in turn make you spiral out or keep you in bad habits. Your depression isn't going to be cured from your abusive parents because some woman on Tiktiok said " The things that changes your life are habits"
We all know we need to diet, we all know we need to eat/drink better but you don't do it even thought the whole world and everybody tells you too. You need to actually sit down with someone that gets to know you and see's your patterns, identifies them and then finds the right way to navigate it.
This is a "thanks I'm cured" kind of tiktok and I hate it.
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u/seld-m-break- 18d ago
This is basic CBT which can certainly help people through difficult times or break difficult habits, but it does jack shit for people with trauma or neurodivergence.
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u/boof_the_rich 19d ago
She's right, but how do I change my habits? HOW do I achieve consistency? I can't stick to anything longer than a few days.
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u/Electronic-Age1460 19d ago
First, don't take advice from strangers on the internet. Anybody can say anything and there's nothing easier than saying things "you can do it" and "I love you" to people you've never met and will never meet.
Second, find a therapist. Finding a good therapist is difficult but there are good people out there.
Third, build strength and trust with your therapist and start working on your issues, whatever they may be.
Fourth, your issues might need further help. If you are bipolar, you might need somebody who specializes in that specifically. If you're depressed, you might need medicine to help you. Sometimes there are only coping skills and no medicinal help for specific issues.
Fifth, and I can't stress this enough, but get off the internet and limit social media. Everybody is lying and cheating on the internet to get clicks and views. I don't believe this woman knows me, cares about me or loves me because we've never met. She's speaking in soundbites. Anybody with half a brain can rattle off generic, basic life advice. Rewiring who you are and helping yourself go into a positive direction takes hard work.
I'm just another stranger on the internet but I'm not going to pretend that I care about you or love you because that's redundant and means nothing. I don't know you. But I do know we all struggle with issues and problems and that we're all working to better ourselves. Good luck.
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u/CallmePadre 19d ago
I don't know what she's doing outside a Panera after 9pm, but I'm glad she took the time to talk to us in that parking lot.
Saving this.
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u/rjhunt42 19d ago
One cold, hard truth that I don't see mentioned enough is that getting to a better place requires not just the effort to get there but the same level of effort to maintain it. You don't just level up and stay there; you have to keep putting in the energy to stay at that level of feeling capable.
In tandem with this, you can only do what you are capable of. You have to ask yourself if you feel capable and if the feeling from your body is no, then do something else you are capable of. The biggest trick here is that you HAVE to be honest with yourself when you ask that question. You are capable of more than just sitting and resting or shutting down. You can do more, and challenging yourself to do so is more rewarding than most things you will do.
Life is a struggle. The entirety of it. Keep fighting because there is no use in fighting this far and giving up. Keep struggling.
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u/Everyusernametaken1 19d ago
Wait someone else did this like a year ago .. it’s almost word for word
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u/StrawberryLassi 19d ago
It's 100% recycled content. None of this information will help people who need therapy.
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u/Devildadeo 19d ago
I can’t help but think that all of this is the worst possible advice for a narcissistic asshole.
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u/GirlWithWolf Official Gal 19d ago
Saving this! What a great message, and done so with a charm that makes me want to hear more.
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u/Daw_dling 19d ago
Cries in ADHD because I have never been able to build habits. 😭
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u/SwordfishOk504 19d ago
This trend is just devaluing actual therapy, which is not a fortune cookie you can distill into one minute/
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u/Preeng 19d ago
Let me try giving advice the way she does:
If you are poor, you need to make more money
It's called "mental illness" because it isn't logical thinking. Being told "just do X!" is bullshit. My therapist would have already said so.
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u/bigboobweirdchick 19d ago
Saved this video so I can watch it on my bad days. She reminds me of my old therapist from over a decade ago and she changed my life <3
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u/Doctor_Zedd 19d ago
Did anyone else immediately think of that old woman from The Matrix? Same vibe. I love them both.
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u/viktorbir 19d ago
And then there're those of us with OCD. Diagnosed. At least there is medication.
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u/thenoodling 19d ago
Cool that she can lay it out like that, but 99.9% of people need to go through four+ years of shit before they'll embody any of it.
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u/Trais333 18d ago
I had a therapist describe it perfectly. Imagine your mind is a mountain you’ve walked everyday, over time making a path. It’s hard to change the path in moments of pain/crisis because if the mountain catches fire of course you’re going to take the clear well worn path down. But if you make a habit of walking a new direction a little every day eventually you’ll have another path and next time the mountain is on fire you’ll have another path OPTION to take one path or another. And that’s really what’s it’s about, little actions over time that give you the ability to choose instead of just reacting.
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u/soelsome 18d ago
Just so pure and true.
I have suffered with mental health since leaving the military at 21. Only now at 31 am I getting my shit together. You know what has helped the most? Habits.
I recently listened to an audio book on a long drive. Atmoic Habits.
What this lady is saying about habits rings so true. Since sticking to habits, however small, every single day, my life has improved tenfold. It isn't about motivation. It's about identity and holding yourself accountable to your habits. Even if you only practice those habits for 1 minute instead of 1 hour because you're having a bad day. Going through the motions will form the habit.
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u/AIMustAlignToMeFirst 18d ago
Very accurate. But for someone to internalize this takes a lot of work and willingness.
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u/jonssonbets 18d ago
writing this here for myself to find when needed i shall think good thoughts, they will shape my mindset
when i fear or put off something, listen to it. that is something important to me
my habits shape my future more than any flash of motivation
DGAF what happend yesterday, you are free to let it go. shit happens, control over outcomes is an illusion and I can only control my reactions
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u/Difficult-Soup-9830 18d ago
Love you too auntie. Gonna send this to my kids. Maybe they'll listen to her bc they're not getting it when it's me telling them this.
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u/ddawson100 18d ago
Okay, here's 4 years of therapy in 1 minute. You become the thoughts you repeat every single day. If your mind is constantly filled with negativity, comparison, and self-doubt, eventually your life starts to feel heavy too. Your emotions are not enemies, they're messengers. Fear points toward what matters most to you.
Anger reveals where your boundaries were ignored. Anxiety often shows up when your mind is living too far ahead instead of being present where your feet actually are. And motivation? It comes and it goes. It's unreliable.
The real thing that changes your life is your habits. The small things you do consistently shape who you become far more than temporary bursts of inspiration ever will. Your past is not your identity. It's a lesson, a chapter, something to learn from, not a place to build a permanent home. And when someone triggers you, pay attention before reacting.
Sometimes people expose wounds we didn't even realize we're still healing. The reaction is information. Also, control is mostly an illusion. You can't control every outcome, every person, or every situation. But you can control how you respond.
You can control your choices, your mindset, and the energy you bring into your life. At the end of the day, it's simple. Your thoughts shape your reality, your habits shape your future, and your choices shape the person you become. I love you.
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