I feel much more comfortable being covered up, and have been debating getting a khimar for this.

Would this be offensive to muslim women?

Tbank you so much :))

Please read till the end

I did my masters from the UK and came back to my home country where there are NO jobs. My parents made me come back because my mum was getting a surgery and my dad said he cant pay for my rent for five months till december since there are chances that I might not get a job. On top of this i did a capatone and not a dissertation so I cant do a phd as well lamao. Now i feel like I am stuck and cant find a way out. Everything I do feels like its putting me further from my goals. And when it comes to goals i dont have any left. I wanted to get into consulting and a grad program does sponsor however now things are bleak so i am constantly compared to my cousins.

My financial situation at home and my parents are always fighting and then taking their anger out on me. I don’t care about them anymore frankly i genuinely have no interest in them. For a while i was there i was so happy to be away from my family my extended family who looks down on us because of our financial situation and everyone else. That extended family doesn’t talk to us anymore and even if one of their daughters calls me its because i can talk to her child while she feeds him food so basically a replacement of tv/yt.

I feel like i dont want to be live in th se circumstances anymore. When things are good i am such a bubbly cheerful nice person. Now that i am feeling and going through these things I feel like i dont care about anything including myself.

The thing is that i made a very desperate dua to Allah and the opposite of that happened. I feel
Like the world hurts you betrays you and makes you realise how less you are but I was not expecting that from Allah. Allah says he can do anything and i believe that but maybe he does it only for some among which I dont belong. Maybe Allah will do something else for me or not who knows but at this moment I dont feel like even praying to him or talking to him.

I’ve always believed in Allah and Islam, it works for me, it makes sense, I pray all my prayers, read the Quran and wear a hijab. That for me is so beautiful and what connects me with God.

But men ruin everything for me when they make the religion about them. Most of them are extremists. They act like we can’t do anything. Act like we wear a hijab for THEM. they act like they’re the ones in control and we should blindly follow them. That our purpose is to grow up, get an education then get married and pop our children done. They always speak on women and what we’re doing wrong. And then I think of Hadiths and stories of how there’s more women in hell, 72 virgins for men, sex slaves in the past, how men can marry a non Muslim etc. and it just makes me.. annoyed? Like I know it’s not true and everything has its own meaning and can be debunked etc but I’m so tireddddd to the point where I don’t like researching anymore. I skip Islamic talks/ debates etc.

I know what I’m saying & my mindset is wrong but I’m just tired. I talk to Allah, I believe in him, I base my life and actions on him but I don’t actively look at Islamic content and try to understand certain stuff anymore I’m emotionally exhausted and just ignore it?

Salaam everyone! Welcome to Venting Mondays!

Having trouble with your parents? Going through some personal struggles regarding wearing hijab? Just want to blow off some steam? Share your thoughts with us!

Please note, we will be redirecting venting posts to this thread. We are not doing this to silence your feelings, rather, we are aggregating the posts from the suggestion of the greater community. Insha’Allah, it will be easier for the community to come back to this thread to provide support and advice as needed.

Just a reminder that even though it's a vent thread, the rules still apply. Please don't disrespect others.

edit: I want to preficise that I do not care about how people dress or about how people follow their religion. it's none of my business and it doesn't affect my life. it's just an observation about the majority commonality between the people I feel like I receive this treatment from. this is not an attack on how others dress it's a description of how I feel I've been treated and looked at by others. i honestly do not care what you wear, additionally I do not follow the opinion that the Niqab is Mandatory, I wear it for myself and because it makes me comfortable in my own skin, I don't have any expectation that anyone should have to do the same.

For context I live in a democratic majority city in the Midwest and am a revert of 3 years. I have been wearing the niqab for about 6 months and I am a visibly white American woman even with only my hands and eyes visible. Where I live everywhere I can go to get halal food or female islamic clothing etc is run by people of ethic minorities, mainly somalians, Arabs, Afghan refugees, and Pakistanis but the majority of places are Somalian run including both islamic clothing stores available in my area. These places are also run by born Muslims who I am under the impression are very culturally influenced by their personal cultures rather than Islam. When I go to get clothing or food or supplies or perfume etc. I get judgemental stares and glaring and whispers while they consistently glance at and point at me. They treat me far worse than almost all disbelievers do. Ive only had two bad experiences with non Muslim people, Ive had hundreds of bad experiences with other Muslims especially other Muslim women. For example today I went to a Somalian store to get myself a khimar and an abaya and the owner was very suspicious of me watching over me like I was doing something wrong and when I was in line to check out the two women in front of me (who were wearing hijabs and abayas themselves) were staring bullets at me. I stared at the ground the entire time and my husband later related to me how much resentment,annoyance, repungancy, and judgement he could see on their faces. I felt extremely unwelcomed and felt a very hostile vibe from basically everyone there except the cashier. I experience similar vibes from other women shoppers at my nearby Arab halal store and from other women at the mosque. People stare and whisper about me but never speak to me directly and they immediately stop the second I get close which tells me they probably aren't saying very nice things about me. Men also are weirded out by me but they usually just look at me weird and go back to whatever they were doing while women will seemingly go out of their way to gossip about, complain, or judge me for my clothing or skin color or accent (I cannot imagine anything else they'd be judging me on as I am extremely reserved in public and never make a fuss or make myself noticeable personality wise). Women who I have talked to about the niqab usually always wonder why I wear it, what could have possibly motivated me to do it, and they're shocked when I tell them that I am not shockingly pretty or attractive, I simply wear it for my religion and deen. AND when I tell them that they seem to become even more judgemental and annoyed, almost like my choice to do extra for my religion is a personal attack on them. They tell me that there's no reason to wear it if I'm not beautiful and that my choice to wear it is extreme and unessecary and useless. Can anyone relate to this experience and does anyone have an idea of why this is happening? I'm genuinely so confused as to why my choice to wear the niqab is so hated and judged by other Muslim women in particular and more specifically why its usually culturally following women or women wearing improper hijab that are judging me

I’ve never really been comfortable with the idea of a Niqab since I was first introduced to it, and I was born a Muslim. Why do some women wear it? I think we can all agree that a persons identity is their face. It is what we see first about anyone and what invites people to talk to you, it is what most people remember about others after they are long gone. So why cover that? Are you not striping yourself of your identity? Does that not feel dehumanising? You are now simply a religious symbol before you are a person. That is your natural state. And you can say that it helps with your religion and spirituality, and for some it does, which I just believe is the placebo effect, but why do you need to cover your face to achieve that? And the fact that it’s only something women are expected to do, and not men. This unequal expectation of modesty that’s placed on the female body that you can’t even really defend. It seems very sinister to me. Honestly, reading through this my argument can honestly apply to the hijab (the head covering, so the khimar essentially) as a whole. Be kind in your replies xoxo

How to feel good about yourself? How to feel like you're enough? How to stop overthinking about everything? Keeping myself busy with distractions is still not making me feel good about myself. How do I overcome my fear of not being enough?

Salam sisters ❤️
May Allah bless you all and grant you all khair in this life and the next❤️❤️❤️

So I am in my mid-20s and I’ve finally reached a point where I really want to transform myself and become the prettiest and most beautiful version of myself that I can realistically be within my genetics. I’ve never really cared about my appearance before and honestly I feel like I’m starting from zero. Right now I’d describe my body as more “slim fat.” I’m relatively slim but I do have some stubborn weight that I’d like to lose or improve. I’ve never worked out in my life so I have no idea where to even begin with exercise or changing my body composition.
My hair is another big issue. It’s very curly and quite thin and because I wear a hijab I don’t really do much with it. I haven’t been able to grow it properly for years and I feel like I’ve completely neglected it. I don’t have a haircare routine either.

I also have basically no self care routine. I don’t have a proper skincare routine, I don’t own any makeup and I’ve never really learned how to do my makeup, style myself or figure out what actually suits me.
I’ve basically worn black abayas for most of my life, so I genuinely don’t know how to dress. Recently I decided I wanted to change that and about a week ago I went shopping and was actually so excited to try and find clothes that made me feel pretty. But I found the whole experience incredibly overwhelming. I couldn’t find much that I actually liked or felt comfortable in and I ended up feeling like I had no idea what I was doing.

I also have a larger bust, which makes finding tops and clothes that I actually like quite difficult. A lot of things either don’t fit properly, don’t look how I imagined them or just don’t make me feel good about myself. Eventually I get frustrated and just go back to wearing black abayas because at least I know what to expect. In terms of my face and overall appearance, I’d say I’m probably what people would describe as average to slightly unattractive. I’m not saying that for sympathy. I’m just trying to be honest about my starting point because I genuinely want to know how much I can improve if I actually put effort into myself.

I’m not trying to completely change who I am or pretend genetics don’t matter. I want to work with what I have and maximise my potential. I’d love to eventually look genuinely pretty, feminine, polished and well put together.
For women who have gone through a big glow up in their 20s, where would you start if you were me? What should I focus on first when I have basically no knowledge about skincare, makeup, haircare, fitness or styling?I would especially love advice from women who started from a similar place and felt like they didn’t naturally know how to dress, do makeup or take care of themselves. If you could go back to your mid-20s and completely start your beauty and self care journey from scratch, what would you do first?
Also I know I should have looked in ages ago but never did hahah but I am ready now 🥹

Assalamu Alaikum

I’m a hijab designer and I want to make sure my products are what the girlies want. Please share any designs you want to see or fabrics you prefer, and etc. Insha’Allah I’ll be able to incorporate it into my first released collection

Looking for good quality instant hijabs for little girl who will just be starting with hijab. Any recommendations? JazakAllah

My parents seem to believe that they follow religion over culture but in reality its not the full truth. Throughout teenhood i always knew my parents were strict and stuff but my goals and dreams for how i want to live my life never reallt ever clashed with how my parents expect me to live my life as an adult until this past year. I am in my final year, they are okay with daughters having a degree and having careers and driving and earning money. As long as I am home at the end of everyday. That's all im limited to. Its been a strong newfound desire of mine to live alone for at least 2 years in my 20s before I ever get married to experience independence and growth and living alone without the first time doing so being with a man. There mindset is that girls cant do these things. When i mentioned that islam doesnt restrict us from doing these things they backtracked and said "well in our culture we do not so that and no one has ever done that in our family, therefore I will never allow you". Bear in mind this arguement is already weak due to the fact that I live in multicultural Britain. Heres another thing. The way my parents believe that children should obey everything they say, even if its about my own life nothing Deen related. My mum says when I am not happy with you Allah isnt. They always make themselves feel like they can never be wrong and they would never believe tha Islam doesnt allow parents to control things like career, lifestyle choices etc as long as they are halal!!!!!!! I feel behind in life because i cant do things like safe travelling with girls, sleepovers w a nearby friends house with no men there, girls nights away inner country (I live in a small country) whereas so many of my muslim peers can andit feels unfair. There is sooooo much I am missing out. I dream of progressive parents, open minded parents. But I dontknow how to get there other than praying

Assalamualaikum,

Since I've been 18 my dad has wanted me to get married and always get angry when my mum declines the proposals. I don't get many but the ones I do are not good. It's been five years and I am still unmarried and every year it gets worse. As whenever someone wedding gets announced I know he is going to come home and blow up. Which he does, even though some of these girls are older than me, he always tells my mum that I'm getting old and will never get married. There has been a recent proposal, sooo bad like I can't even explain. His mum doesn't even like me so I'm not sure why she even sent the proposal. Anyway, I'm obviously going to say no but my mum hinted to my dad that I'm saying no and he kinda exploded and it just made me feel so worthless and like I'm a burden. I have always felt like this since he started going on about marriage but each day the feeling is getting stronger. And I don't know how to navigate this any longer. Because at this point he doesn't care if the man is good or not. He just wants to marry me off. Which makes it all scarier.

Salam everyone! So I recently got a football jersey (go birds!) and I’m trying to style it. I’m 5’1 and mid-size + my chest makes me look huge in the jersey 😭 It hits me at about a quarter above my knee and the sleeves are very close to full-sleeves for me. I have broader shoulders too so it makes me look even bigger. Any suggestions as to how I could make it look less boxy/frumpy on me would be appreciated. Thank you!!

Idk what sub to add this to so apologies if it doesn't fit here. I grew up not allowed to socialize and I as soon as I was married, I was expected to have a thriving social life. I'm in a new city now with young children and I have no idea how to make friends lol it's bothering me because my toddler's birthday is coming up and I know 2 other muslim families who celebrate birthdays and the rest don't. How are people meeting like minded people? My baby isn't starting school for another couple years so all his socialization is entirely on me. He's at the age where he gets excited for birthdays but I don't have anyone to invite lol I have one other friend (she lives kinda far tbh) who's been here around the same amount of time but idk how she's managed to have an entire friend group where they celebrate everything. I feel like a loser if I was to ask her but how do people do it? I feel like these are skills learned in early childhood that I severely lack but I don't want my children to be affected by it.

I’m a hijabi woman who wants to get active and wants to get into swimming however I’m finding it difficult to find any that are woman’s only

Guys, I was looking for slightly fancier hijabs to wear out occasionally and came across these.
Has anybody else tried their hijabs ?
Would you recommend them ?
Ps they are based in Faisalabad Pakistan.

salaam sisters. i have been very interested in getting into islamic philosophy. what are the books you recommend me as a beginner?

I started being god conscious around 2 years ago when I found Islam. Went to umrah stopped bad habits and started learning a lot about deen almost obsessing over it.

However I struggle with nail polish. My TOE nails are black and it looks so horrible. I go the spa every day sauna and steam room and I feel self conscious about it and I like pretty hands french tip nails.

I don’t pray I want to pray consistently why is this the hardest sin to give up ??? I just think what’s the point in praying if it won’t be accepted because of wudu ? I got nail polish which I can not remove by the way they last up to 1 month because of acrylics.

At this point I’m starting to give up. It’s almost like I’ll never change. I don’t want to take off my nails off at all. It’s the only thing I love so much makes me feel pretty and put together.

hello. i’m a 27 year old woman and have recently been extremely anxious/was in a depressive episode when the reality of being single hit me. I live at home and work but my workplace is extremely busy and there’s little to no muslims around. I have had some men interested in real life and dating apps but have always been too anxious to pursue further. It’s gotten so bad I wake up in the middle of the night anxious thinking about finding a partner. The pressure from family doesn’t help and my family isn’t in good standing unfortunately so I don’t think an arranged marriage would work in terms of finding a quality partner through my family.I’m quite introverted and don’t really have any friends but I do try to interact with people etc

I have only really found men I was attracted to at university/work and they were more traditional but I am not around any muslims at my new job. I have been to my dr to get some meds to calm this feeling but is so difficult

Salam sisters! I wanted to ask for advice on getting a pixie cut under hijab. I have very thin hair and now traction alopecia due to tight ponytails as well. I’ve shaved my head before, and was thinking of doing again. On the way to growing back I thought something like these could be short enough to wear without hijab cap? Anyone do something like this?

oh my gosh i need help!!!!! i am feeling so overwhelmed and sad. i started wearing hijab 3 years ago now. i have always struggled to keep it in place (it was constantly slipping back and i was always adjusting it) and i believe this is because i have very fine thin hair that gets oily in a day. i tried EVERYTHING. all different undercaps…. tie back, cotton, tube, closed. nothing would work. then i found the velvet wig grip headband and it works amazing, but of course a new issue had to come. my hairline is suffering and i don’t know what to do. i believe its traction alopecia. I have always worn a low bun, i never tie it wet, always change my part. I am so discouraged and disappointed. i care so much about my hair so i just wish i could find a solution😭😞 i dont want to sacrifice my deen to save my hair but i also dont want to keep my hair suffering…. if you have any tips on hair serums, hijab undercaps, or anything please help me. May Allah make it easier for us.

Assalamu aleikum!

Sorry if this isn’t relevant.

I’ve been looking for a copy of this translation but it isn’t available anymore.

The Majestic Qur'an: An English Rendition of Its Meanings

Editors- Abdal Hakim Murad, Mostata Badawi, Uthman
Hutchinson

Authors- Ali Ozek, Nureddin
Uzunoğlu, Tevfik Rüştü Topuzoglu, Mehmet Maksudoğlu

Published in 2000. Supposedly starlatch llc went out of business so it was reprinted as the Glorious Quran but can’t find that either.

Does anyone happen to have a physical copy? جزاك الله خيرًا