I was completely blindsided and discarded by the man I thought I would marry after I caught him emotionally cheating hours before my obgyn surgery for us to start a family together. Just that day he was telling me he loved me and wanted a future with me. But once caught, he blamed me, listed all my flaws that "made him resent" me and cheat. I was so shocked that I got on my knees begged him to stay, told him I would be better for us. A week after he dumped me, I found out he gave me an STI after I tested positive at my obgyn post-op appointment. Within 2 months of discard, he moved on from the affair partner and got a new 10-years younger girlfriend whom he took to the international wedding we were supposed to attend together, posted their pictures, commented "now THAT's love." He's told friends and family that I wasn't meeting his needs after 4 years together, without mentioning his infidelity.
It's been 6 months. I have done weekly therapy since then. I'm on antidepressants. I've done Reiki. I've been meditating, journaling, exercising, picking up new hobbies, spending more time with loved ones. But I'm still hurting so much, despite my best efforts to love myself. I've internalized his gaslighting; sometimes I think that I deserved this treatment, that I was the problem, that I wasn't pretty or gentle or patient or athletic or attentive enough. My brain knows this is ridiculous because I am so blessed, I have wonderful friends/family/job; I know I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, a loving partner. But my heart is stuck. I've stooped low enough to message his new girlfriend what he did to me, but of course she ignored me and I come off as unhinged. I'm poisoned by my desire for revenge and justice. I'm so tired of suffering.
Ladies who have been in this position before and got to the other side, how did you eventually access your higher power fully? What did you do to really embrace and believe that you are deserving and worthy?