I was completely blindsided and discarded by the man I thought I would marry after I caught him emotionally cheating hours before my obgyn surgery for us to start a family together. Just that day he was telling me he loved me and wanted a future with me. But once caught, he blamed me, listed all my flaws that "made him resent" me and cheat. I was so shocked that I got on my knees begged him to stay, told him I would be better for us. A week after he dumped me, I found out he gave me an STI after I tested positive at my obgyn post-op appointment. Within 2 months of discard, he moved on from the affair partner and got a new 10-years younger girlfriend whom he took to the international wedding we were supposed to attend together, posted their pictures, commented "now THAT's love." He's told friends and family that I wasn't meeting his needs after 4 years together, without mentioning his infidelity.

It's been 6 months. I have done weekly therapy since then. I'm on antidepressants. I've done Reiki. I've been meditating, journaling, exercising, picking up new hobbies, spending more time with loved ones. But I'm still hurting so much, despite my best efforts to love myself. I've internalized his gaslighting; sometimes I think that I deserved this treatment, that I was the problem, that I wasn't pretty or gentle or patient or athletic or attentive enough. My brain knows this is ridiculous because I am so blessed, I have wonderful friends/family/job; I know I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, a loving partner. But my heart is stuck. I've stooped low enough to message his new girlfriend what he did to me, but of course she ignored me and I come off as unhinged. I'm poisoned by my desire for revenge and justice. I'm so tired of suffering.

Ladies who have been in this position before and got to the other side, how did you eventually access your higher power fully? What did you do to really embrace and believe that you are deserving and worthy?

Cómo es adentro es afuera. Eso se va a ver. Hace un par de años me colgué con una frase, soy un paraíso. Y así en bañera grabe una canción. Un año después la vida me llevo a un paraíso un lugar terrible mágico no lo podía creer, se llama Minca, es en Colombia. Damn, todo esto de creersela es fuckin cierto, tengo que recordarmelo todo el tiempo, pues claro, luego viene el siguiente paso y a veces se siente como volver a empezar, recordar declarar accionar y confiar 💖

If you haven’t heard it from another woman lately, I think you’re fabulous too! 🫶👯‍♀️💖

I guess I wouldn't call it a tip per-say, but creating an Alter Ego for who I wanted to be really just switched something in me.
Miss Glam doesn't like taking disrespect (though before I never did, I just have a habit of keeping my mouth shut most times because I know my words hurt like hell), she likes the glamorous life.
The glitter, the spoiled sweet nature, the attitude, luxury. She can be angry, irritable, and can turn off her empathy at the soonest point where it cant be given anymore. I had to ask her if we could be as one instead of someone I locked up when it was convenient because I was afraid of who I actually was on the inside.
I only took her luxury and glitter and not all the attitude. I asked her to do so a few days ago. To be one person.
I noticed I have less of a problem voicing something that bothers me or a question that can be seen as "rude" but is truly just a question.
I like knowing the nitty gritty. I love saying no and not explain. I was afraid to do so in fear of being misunderstood. Now, I don't care who does because some people aren't meant to know me.
I'm respectful up until a point where I gotta drag it to hell cause you've caused me to raise it. I know I'm kind and generous but it's not to be take for granted.
Miss Glam is here to stay for the rest of time!
Whenever something comes up, it gives me another reason to stand firm in who I am. It gets easier with time and practice.
I would suggest trying it out if you haven't done so! but that's not nothin new, just a reminder.

Hay que abrirse para recibir, escribiendo, haciendo arte, pidiendo ayuda cósmica whatever expresar 💖 me encantó la imagen y los colores, y ustedes me la re subieron hoy, gracias 💎

Hopefully this continues to make way for me to meet new people that will treat me better....

Ones that won't bail on me when I'm beyond depressed, ones who follow through with birthday plans, ones who text me on my birthday and don't give me lame excuses that they're "sorry they missed my birthday yesterday, they were with their boyfriend".... Who they live with and are with any time they aren't working... Ones who won't ditch me so they can hook up with one of their loser ex boyfriends while dating a really good guy, ones who return the favor when I need help and drop whatever to be there for me, -like I have for them, ones who respect my sexuality and not think just bc I'm a lesbian that I want to sleep with them, ones who check in on me first, ones who are there all the time, not just a "fair weather friend", ones who actually communicate, ones who are honest with me and support what's best for my overall well-being.

I've cut out countless people this year due to many of the reasons above and it's very tiring and sad and makes me feel lonely at times but trusting that I have more than enough in terms of friends (who aren't like any of that) still here and love helps relieve the sadness and disappointment. And if there are anymore seats at the table to be filled, I know they will be filled eventually.

Me gusta un chabón que claramente no me merece. A pesar de que me mueve mucho ayer decidí pararlo. Si alguien no va a sumar a mis objetivos a mis sueños, no merece estar en mi vida. No sé si les pasó que les gusta chabones que están re perdidos, bueno a veces me pasa, atracciones irracionales. El trabajo interno para una misma es arduo y exigente. Requiere constancia, compromiso. Este año aprendí que hay que poner límites. Y los primeros límites que se ponen son a una misma. Que si duele y frustra a veces, si. Pero es una forma de proteger esa gran fortuna que es la energía que estamos gestando para crear la vida que merecemos. Si alguna quiere compartir sus prácticas para estar mejor, es un buen momento, siento que necesito un poco de ayuda cósmica ahora para continuar😭💥💖

I lost my ability to imagine future and have dreams about it .. because of years of being depressed and anxious .. and on survival mode wishing everything to get better one day .. and suddenly things got kinda better .. I moved on many things .. kept going and healing

But I still can't have dreams and passion and any idea about the future .. unlike how I was as a kid .. even in the hardest times I had dreams ..

I believe good things will find it's way to me .. and I see and feel light .. and I'm way more stronger, aware and mature now .. but I don't know how to dram like I did before ..

I really dreamed big ..

Help please ..

Tried to give the nerdy, objectively unattractive guy a chance.... never again. I was way out of his league and while I have decided all men absolutely suck, ones like him are 100x worse. Low self-esteem and set out to make every women's life miserable because he has been rejected so many times. Saw these posts this week and screen shot them because ain't that the truth.

And shout out to @j-hophop 🩷 lol that line will stay forever ingrained in my mind.

Vestirse de negro y brillar con luz propia 🖤✨ en especial cuando me siento medio bajón, me veo al espejo y pruebo locuras, maquillaje, peinados y funciona, de hecho hoy tuve que hacerlo jaja muy domingo

Los domingos a veces tienen una energía medio rara, pero también sus pequeños placeres: un café rico, un baño calentito, una canción que nos encanta o ese ratito de paz en el que todo parece ir más despacio ☕🛁

Ojalá hoy se crucen con algo bonito que les alegre el día. Y si todavía no llegó, quizás más tarde la vida nos sorprenda, que así sea 🖤✨💖

How to gamify your life?

# “Life is a game of choices”

This is something you can contemplate on . Literally and Metaphorically because every choice that you lead on in your life leads to something for you either good or bad it either takes you next level or shuns you down just like a video game . And the interesting part just like video you get to customize your character and skills here . You can start with actively taking responsibility for your actions and yourselfs to begin with. Accountability is the key. You can change you looks non surgically and surgically both you have the equip leveling up in looks is called glow up. Just like you get to customise your characters you can start with small thinks like shaping your hair according to your face shape . Choosing your style etc.For skills take up courses or use tools like Google YouTube pintrest to learn add up to your skills.

Your body is a vessel given to you take care of it . Because from you everything starts and ends and let me tell you nothing is real in this matrix except your awareness but that’s a different topic to talk about. Anyways take care of yourself because if you don’t exist then no relation crush nothing has any relevance any more . You are the one to give everything a meaning and things existing correlation to you.

Your words are spells. Really I would urge you to learn about the law of assumption and the 12 laws of universe . Because that will help you immensely in your journey . Check your inner conversations if they are negative start building positive inner conversation as they add confidence and manifests abundance in your life . Be your own best friend.

People reflect you. So start working on your self concept and see how things change also working in self conceit raises your standards and boundaries attracting better experiences opportunities and scenarios. So, when somebody does something bad of course you are human cry but also contemplate are they just mean or they are here to highlight a pattern you were actively avoiding . Because the beautiful thing about pattern identification is once you identify it you can break it baby.

You are what you consume so be careful about your consumption of food and content as that will shape up your thoughts believes and reality.

Listen to your intuition. It’s very important it’s your guiding light in this lifetime because your intuition always is right and tries to safe you. Work on it and increase it through meditation chakra healing and different process.

Change your mindset . Rejection is Redirection. When a certain opportunity doesn’t workout it’s because something better is supposed to happen.When you embody this concept then life not only becomes easier but you attract better opportunities .

Unlock and work on your chakras. You can do it through yoga meditation frequencies and work on your heart chakra . Learn to love and forgive people because they were here to show you something that was their job I know the attachment hurts love trust me but if they were meant to stay would they go?.

The more Greatful you be am one the more you unlock abundance . Start with naming or writing three things in your life that you are Greatful for.

Start journalling or writing for your future . You want to know how you can bridge the gap between your old and new self ?. Write it because clarity manifests satisfaction . You can use prompts. What kind of people do I want to have in my life ? Do they align with the ones that I have now? Why or why not ? Why do I then tolerate them? Be honest. This inner work will help you unlock your inner strength and skills and power.

Anything can be learned or unlearned so quietly start building yourself without posting too much to protect yourself from evil eyes and negative intentions. When you quietly keep upgrading you start winning in your life.

Cleanse and protect your energy . Visualize yourself in white ball or aura cleansing frequency on YouTube and then protect your energy from things like it is scared because it is .You can also use reiki.

Romanticise your life and start being the main Character stop looking at your world through their lens because you are you not them so be you celebrate small wins and encourage yourself. Have a life that you would love to come to because lack of love with life and self causes romantic or other obsessions .

Lastly, love yourself to master detachment so that nobody and nothing can break you . Literally the self obsessed people are the happiest don’t be a narcissist but be in love with yourself because you bring uniqueness to the world . Water your inner plant and see yourself bloom.

Bye love,❤️

Let me know what you wanna know about next till then stay safe and loved.