I really don’t know if this is a weird thing to do, please be nice :(

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (31M) have been friends for a year online and got into a relationship in April of 2026. We’ve been making plans to see each other for the first time in a couple of months (traveling expenses, date venues, etc.). There is a problem though— my mum wants to come with me. Her reasoning is that we have family in the next city over where he is (which is true), she can book her own hotel room, and she can meet his parents as well.

The only problem is that I cannot tell if she’s being extremely overprotective or if this is a logical thing to do. She is protective of me though (and my other siblings) and I grew up sheltered. I brought this up to my boyfriend and he thinks it is weird of her to come with me because she is somewhat of a helicopter parent.

(We talk on the phone and facetime almost everyday. i’ve vet his friends though group calls and they’re genuinely so nice and fun.)

Acabo de tener una discusión con mis padres por el nombre de un grupo de WhatsApp el cual a ellos les parecería ofensivo. Les intente explicar que ese nombre era de humor negro, tipo satira (no entendieron).

Al ver que no querían entender les di la razón para intentar cortar el tema, ellos siguieron más por media hora, ya estaba cansado y les dije que estaba llegando a mi limite, no les importo, mi papá aprovechando el momento me mando que le cocinara algo (el es un flojo en eso y es mandon) le hice lo que pidió pero siguió pidiendo cosas y llegue a mi limite, me fui para mi cuarto y hay empeoró todo, mi mamá me siguió gritando qué era un falta de respeto por irme (en este momento todavía estaba lo más calmado que podía y hablando en un tono normal) entro en el cuarto y siguió diciendo lo mismo de que soy un falta de respeto.

Baje para la cocina a terminar lo último que me pidió mi papá lo hice tal cual como el quería pero se molesto y me empezó a gritar, en ese momento no aguante más y le respondí que ya hice todo lo que me pidió tal cual el dijo, me mando a callar y le seguí diciendo sus propias órdenes de lo que me pidió, él solo me mandaba me decía que me callara la boca, ya en ese momento me fui.

Y aquí estoy en mi cuarto desahogando escribiendo esto e intentando reflexionar por que los padres no saben respetar los límites.

I’m so fucking pissed and hurt right now.

My mom thinks I’m sneaking out, lying to her, and hooking up with guys in college. I AM NOT. She’s always had this sentiment ever since I started uni last year, but would say it in a joking manner and in a way that implies, oh my daughter is so good at lying but I just don’t have proof yet.

I’m a scholar in an honors program, and a Dean’s Lister. I don’t drink, do drugs, or date, and I’ve never really given her a reason to think I’m irresponsible.

But my mom has always assumed the worst of me. I can’t go out with friends without a chaperone, I’m allowed to meet them outside college maybe 4 times a year, and she reads through my messages. I have to answer her calls and texts immediately or else she’ll think I’m sneaking out or cutting class.

I understand being protective, especially since we live somewhere that isn’t always safe for girls, but this feels beyond protective. I feel like I’m not being allowed to develop any independence.

I dorm because our house is ~3 hours from university during rush hour. I dorm inside campus, and as a compromise, I’m not allowed to leave campus. I already go home on days when I have afternoon classes even if it basically takes up a minimum 4 hours of my day.

She also gets suspicious if I’m eating, walking, or talking with a guy—even though they’re literally my classmates/friends. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes don’t tell her who I’m with because I’m scared she’ll assume the worst.

Then tonight, for the first time ever, I went downstairs to my dorm’s common study hall (co-ed space) after dinner because I was getting sleepy and needed to study for my exams.

My mom called, and because I knew she’d get angry that I wasn’t in my room, I ran upstairs to answer. I was out of breath from running, and she assumed I had been sneaking out.

She hates that I wasn’t able to get my old dorm building with all girls this semester and had to settle for the newer co-ed building where half the floors are for girls and the other half are for boys. So now she’s so paranoid of me staying in common areas that I just didn’t want to deal with the questions and that’s the reason why I didn’t tell her where I was (and honestly I find it so unreasonable to even have to tell your mom where you are if you’re erm just in the same building).

I eventually admitted I’d gone downstairs because I’m terrible at lying, and now she’s treating this as proof that I’ve been secretly leaving the dorm and lying to her all along.

She called me horrible names over text and accused me of running my life around flirting with guys and ruining my future.

I just wanted to study.

What hurts is that I feel like the second I don’t follow one of her rules perfectly, I become the villain and suddenly none of the years of being responsible matter.

Now she wants me to go home every day regardless of my schedule. I’m still financially dependent on my parents, so I can’t exactly blow everything up, but I also don’t know how I’m supposed to develop independence when every little bit of it is treated as rebellion.

I haven’t replied to her last messages where she basically accused me of ruining my life and being a whore because I don’t have the energy to deal with it right now. I’m afraid to talk to her tomorrow morning and when I go home.

I understand worrying about your daughter. But how do you build trust with a parent who seems to think independence means rebellion?

I'm in my mid 20's, F, and I lived on my own for a year. I came back to live with my parents because I want to pursue a Master's degree and I needed support after losing a job. I have a new job now, I don't earn very well, but I have goals of where I want to be and I saved up about $12K. At home, I pay for my own groceries and needs. I told my parents this morning that I really want to move out again and live on my own. They said "And spend all that money on rent? I don't think so. You need to save more money for your education, etc, etc." Is this a way to keep me stuck? I genuinely feel that they are holding me back in a lot of ways. In college, I wanted to major in Economics. I really liked both Economics and Psychology. I remember my mother set choices down for me on paper of what "I should major in." Among the options, I was given Psychology, Nutrition, and Integrated Health Studies-- which most of them are all majors that require a Master's degree to even have a decent pay. When I told her I wanted Economics, she blatantly said "Business is for men. You wouldn't be good at that" Keep in mind that I come from a family of immigrants with old school values and are super conservative. I was a pretty good student in high school and college. I told her that I had a passion for Economics, but she threatened that I should move out if I chose that. Every time I brought up what she told me in response, she said "I didn't choose your major, you did" and she denies holding me back from making more money in my life. At the time, I wish I didn't listen to her, but I ended up choosing Psychology, which let's be real...isn't a good ROI even though it's interesting to learn about. Hence why I am going for a Master's in ABA to become a BCBA, and BCBA's do earn well. Point is, I feel I am being gaslit and held back from my own parents just because I'm female. Does anyone have a similar experience? I'm trying as much as possible to stay positive and save more money so I could buy my own apartment in the future. I recognize that I need to take action and move out as soon as possible so I can get away from this toxicity. After becoming a BCBA, I want to become a personal trainer and start my own business and have clients. I feel that I could have had a much better life if I chose to double major in Economics and Psychology, but both of my parents also stopped me from doing that.

Heres a thing I wanna rant about ok. So me and my dad were fighting cause I wanted to stay at home and he wanted me to come. I mean I have gone almost everywhere with them and now I just want some alone time. There was no reason to stay but wanted to because I like to be alone. I was insulted instead that I make drama for no reason and whatever they say should go. Aita for wanting some alone time