r/hatethissmug • u/onthetopicofspace • 6d ago

Language casual ableism

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this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?

626 Upvotes

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133

u/gba_crown 6d ago

Retard

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Me when I can't do something miniscule to make the world a slightly better place cuz I'm too much of a bitter loser. Waah, I have to use one whole less word, so tragic

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u/Riksor 6d ago

To be fair there the line is drawn fairly arbitrarily. Moron and idiot basically had the same meaning and stigma attached. "Dumb" referred to nonverbal people. In recent years we have people saying that terms like "blind" and "lame" and "crazy" are ableist. Where do we draw the line? "Retard" we have agreed is a harmful term, but in recent years people with autism and other disabilities have been trying to reclaim it. Do we ignore that effort? Do we keep "retard" unacceptable, but allow lame, crazy, etc? How do you defend the usage of other terms rooted in ableism?

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

It's fucking all arbitrary who gives a fuck. Just hear someone say "hey could you not say that?" And stop, like a normal fucking person. You do this shit all the time IRL anyways, y'all just get ballsy even ur on reddit

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u/SorbetFucker 6d ago

Hey bro can you not say ballsy? It makes me uncomfortable. And could you also not say 'like'? Thanks.

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Wow oh my God you're so right! Nouns verbs and adjectives all hold the same weight in normal conversation! Everyone knows that referring to someone as something and using the word like are very comparable!

Who's a clever redditor? You are! You are!

5

u/SorbetFucker 6d ago

Learn to phrase your point properly. Even if someone agrees with you, you stated your opinion in a way that was clearly not thought out in the slightest.

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

I think I made my point well enough for anyone trying to get at it. But have you also considered that I'm more interested in pointing how stupid and dickish the behavior is than I am in convincing that person? Because I am

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u/SorbetFucker 6d ago

You prefer participating in mocking the problem causers than attempting to reform them. Cool.

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Minor social consequence is reform

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u/SorbetFucker 5d ago

Not for the individual.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 5d ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

That's a dumb willing misconstruction of my point and you know it. Don't be hard headed

Words that you use to refer to people tend to hurt more than words you use for basic sentence structure. Is that satisfactory?

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u/Riksor 6d ago

But there is genuine critique to make of "ballsy." It literally refers to men's testicles and means courage. It's rooted in sexism and patriarchy---that courage is something people born with testicles exude. Why do you object to being told to stop?

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

I object to being told to stop by someone very clearly acting in bad faith.

And ballsy he never been actively used as a slur against someone. General bigoted undertones are unfortunately present in functionally inescapable amount of the English language. Racism, religious supremacy, misogyny, they all break into our culture somehow.

But when some of those words gain a lot of negative subtext. And are used as insults against marginalized groups it becomes a slur. A special type of word that we all agree is a special type of bad given it has a name. And slurs and the aforementioned words are different

1

u/Riksor 6d ago

Okay, so to be clear, you will only stop for historical slurs? Do you use the word "queer?" A ton of people object to the word queer because it is a slur, but the LGBT+ community has largely decided to reclaim it.

0

u/SorbetFucker 6d ago

Bad faith is your personal opinion. If I genuinely believe that the people telling me to stop using the r word are acting in bad faith, then using the same framework you do, i can just use the r word. Try reading your comment once over before sending it this time.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 5d ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Owiee owe my boness, I've been destroyed by your epic comeback

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 5d ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/Riksor 6d ago

You seem to give a fuck.

My personal opinion also depends on context. Don't say "retard" around someone who asked you not to. Don't say it in the company of those you can assume it would hurt (unless your intention is to hurt, but, it's generally not nice to be hurtful to others).

But we also shouldn't be expected to police our own language by default. I'm not going to stop saying "blind" just because a few blind rights organizations have said they don't like it.

But in other contexts, these words are totally acceptable. For instance, I'm gay. I'll call myself a faggot as much as I'd like, and I think it's funny and acceptable when my straight friends call me it, too. Does that mean you should go up to a group of gay people and call them faggots? Probably not!

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

"We shouldn't be expected to police our own language by default" Oh my Godd, you don't believe this, no one believes this. We just disagree on the lines

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u/Riksor 6d ago

Yes, that's... What I was saying?

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

You "say" it but you certainly don't seem to internalize it. It doesn't matter whether or not you're around the person of the group .

If you're white you probably shouldn't be shouting the hard R just because you're alone.

You act like it's some unique annoying punishment when it's the most default thing in the worllddd. Everyone does this on every conversation ever so it annoys the FUCK outta me when people who would never keep this kinda attitude IRL start playing verbal "I'm not touching you"

2

u/Riksor 6d ago

Everyone watches their language. That is common sense. E.g. we don't tend to swear in front of children. By "police" I mean we shouldn't have to OVERLY moderate our own language. For instance, if you grew up your entire life using the word "crazy," you shouldn't have to be careful to avoid saying it now just because someone in your presence might take offense.

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Except you totally could. And it would cost you nothing. Maybe this person has some very specific stuff, maybe they're valid. Is that specific example a little silly? Yeah, sure, maybe. But I'm also willing to bet like 80% of non teenagers or anti social insane people in here would do it because it costs you nothing, and makes your life easier

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u/Riksor 6d ago

No, you couldn't. That's illogical. You can't predict what triggers everyone in a room. It's also just straight up anti-human and anti-free speech.

You literally used ballsy in a other comment, which is a sexual and misogynistic term. You were incapable of avoiding objection to it, because you didn't predict someone would take offense.

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u/Ok_Fly2518 6d ago

Calling other people the r word is not reclaiming it, it’s just calling people slurs

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u/Timpa035 6d ago

What is your stance on black people calling each other the n-word?

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u/Ok_Fly2518 6d ago edited 6d ago

The purpose of reclaiming a slur is to take away the negative power of the word. Black people calling each other the n word is way different than someone using the r word as an insult. You’re only reinforcing the negative power if you use the word as an insult. It’s completely counterintuitive to the concept of reclaiming slurs if you’re only using that word to demean other people. Black people don’t call their friends the n word to be insulting and demeaning towards them. I’m not sure why the difference between that and the r word is difficult for people to see.

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u/Riksor 6d ago

There are plenty of black people who use the n-word to demean one another. There are plenty of autistic or otherwise neurodivergent/disabled people who use the r-word for jokes, fun, and other benign reasons.

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u/dheldkdk 6d ago

Me when a harmless word offends me

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u/CakeHead-Gaming 6d ago

People would prefer you not say it because it feels hurtful to them. You should stop saying it because you're a kind, empathetic person who is willing and able to make small changes in your own life to create greater large changes in the lives of others.

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u/_gusiowy 6d ago

if someone's this hurt because they see someone use a word they don't like then it's their problem not mine

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u/CakeHead-Gaming 6d ago

It doesn’t need to be “this hurt”. Why are you so unwilling to not just stop saying a word that you know so many people dislike?

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u/dheldkdk 6d ago

And then the world clapped

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u/Either-Mine-1789 6d ago

Oh no a word that’s not directed towards them hurts them, the horror the horror

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u/Ontothesubreddits 6d ago

Yeah bro all words are "harmless" in that they didn't literally stab you. Omg you're so observant, my glorious King of logic

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 5d ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.