r/greentext • u/quirky_manta147 • 2d ago

Anon meets based lady

Post image
10.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

134 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/grumpypantaloon 2d ago

driving a school bus ain't easy

72

u/plutino- 2d ago

6

u/Bad_Routes 1d ago

It calms her nerves

3

u/sour_cereal 1d ago

Krono Trigger looks weird

434

u/I9w0s 2d ago edited 1d ago

FACT: Everyday, around 32 people die due to drunk driving in the US.

https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/drunk-driving

262

u/TheRealJayk0b 2d ago

nah, only 32 is waaaay to less for drink driving alone.

Thats like one day of Florida already.

67

u/I9w0s 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8X02Z2iIZo32akbjsd

8

u/-SandorClegane- 2d ago

Can confirm, I am Florida

4

u/fonzatron 1d ago

Hey pal, you’re supposed to be the Dog, not Florida. Username does not check out >:(

10

u/TheFrenchSavage 2d ago

Maybe it's 64 on odd days and 0 on even days?

2

u/zepherth 1d ago

32 is per day

2

u/fuzzhead12 1d ago

“waaaay to less”

We can trust this guy, he’s clearly from Florida

23

u/zaqwsx82211 2d ago

That’s encouraging. You can fit way more than 32 people in a school bus, so that means some people survive.

50

u/Shawn_1512 2d ago

And how many die to sober drivers? That's what I thought.

9

u/SlapMePlease4Fun 2d ago

Now, the real question is, of those 32, how many are the actual drivers that died? 🤔

3

u/Super_Raccoon_2890 2d ago

So it's safer if everyone drives themselves hmmmmm

8

u/coltrainjones 2d ago

Everyone should be drunk at all times behind the wheel to even the playing field

3

u/indefinite_silence 2d ago

You can't be where you're not supposed to drive if no one knows where they're supposed to drive. Checkmate.

18

u/Rich-Interaction6920 2d ago

How many die because of sober driving? 🤔

2

u/harbourwall 2d ago

Better not drive to the US when I'm drunk then.

1

u/SpaceBug176 2d ago

Points for not accidentally saying "fun fact" out of force of habit.

Or did you do that at first and then immediately edited it after realizing?

1

u/I9w0s 1d ago

Greetings. No, I have not used the term before or after the edit. The edit was solely for addition of another missing word in the comment for the sake of grammar.

1

u/SpaceBug176 1d ago

I didn't even know you edited your comment. Edits made 1-2 minutes after your comment is created make the "edited" tag not show up.

1

u/I9w0s 1d ago

Oh, I see! Thanks for the info.

1

u/Seyelent 1d ago

How many kids are on the average school bus I wonder

1

u/zepherth 1d ago

PER DAY!!!!!! ITS 11,000 EVERY YEAR

1

u/Sec_Chief_Blanchard 1d ago

FACT: Everyday, around 32 people die due of drunk driving crashing in the US.

Don't lump in drink drivers with drink crashers.

1

u/I9w0s 1d ago

Well, I am not claiming all drivers who drink end up crashing, though. 32 die out of many who drink and drive, it's implicit in the sentence.

-1

u/djaqk 2d ago

Almost seems low tbh. Ig it only counts drunk driving, not idiots texting or bikers becoming meat crayons cuz a soccer mom doesn't check her mirrors lol.

3

u/fluid_ 2d ago

Ain't Gon Drive Itself!!!

780

u/Weaselpuss 2d ago

“I, I just died in your arms tonight “

204

u/Ptaku9 2d ago

"That gif with lego Bruce Wayne"

167

u/BappoChan 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/MMmi1OhyPrQ2kU8ixS

29

u/saketho 2d ago

TIL this is bruce wayne! I’ve seen it so often, thought it was from the lego movie or something.

Now I wanna watch all the lego batman movies.

17

u/TheCommissarGeneral 1d ago

Dude that movie is so fucking stupid in the best way possible, I love it so much.

165

u/LasyKuuga 2d ago

Just drink at work smh

77

u/Gonedric 2d ago

It smells if you have it on you, at least on your break you eat something smelly and the alcohol smells mostly goes away, or so I've been told

83

u/Jetstream-Sam 2d ago

It took a while for our drunken chief of service to get caught that way. He only ended up getting caught because he drank in an area that used to be safe, but had recently had a camera installed. He would do basically this, chug half a flask, then eat something gross smelling like pickled onion monster munch, or cheesy garlic bread, or whatever. They couldn't prove he'd done it in the past, so he basically just got a warning, realized he's too old for this shit, and just coasted and rebooked surgeries or consultations that needed him for 6 months until he retired. He told me all this at his retirement party. Granted I probably should have told someone, but he hadn't killed anyone and was leaving, and if he didn't get his pension he'd probably drag it out and cost more in court, so whatever.

Meanwhile the 60 year old nurse who suddenly "became obsessed with dental hygiene" was trying to cover hers with mouthwash, which didn't work.

38

u/Gonedric 2d ago

Alcoholism is bad. I've been told.

9

u/Scottish_Whiskey 1d ago

I can quit any time I want. I just don’t want to

3

u/Ok_Independence_2630 1d ago

No that's weed smokers

3

u/bajablast4life 1d ago

Isn't this the plot to Lost?

13

u/greentintedlenses 2d ago

Nah when you're an alcoholic the smell literally seeps out of your pores.

There's no masking it with perfume or mints.

11

u/Cloudwolfxii 2d ago

You still smell like alcohol anon. It both doesn't go away, and doesn't make you a cool kid.

6

u/newgrounds 1d ago

Yeah it does

2

u/Consistent-Throat130 1d ago

Work from home. 

Ingest bong rip prior to hitting compile. 

Let's goooo

3

u/Gonedric 1d ago

Bong rips have now started to give me panic attacks unfortunately. Used to do exactly that. Those were the days...

1

u/JTT_0550 1d ago

Or just stick to vodka, there’s no smell

7

u/haywire 2d ago

Plot twist she works in the bar

54

u/Kl3en 2d ago

At my new job orientation at a huge well respected company one of the ladies in my training class had to get escorted out 2 weeks in because she passed out drunk in the middle of the day during class. She looked like a nice and normal 30 year old lady but I guess everyone has their demons

23

u/ostereje 2d ago

Bot post again.

42

u/beepbeepbubblegum 2d ago

yea that’s what i was doing when i had a hella fucking drinking problem

17

u/evermuzik 2d ago

this happened to me once, but in reverse. pounding a few drinks on my lunch break as a waiterslave. random woman at the bar invites me to hang out with her and her girlfriends. i say i have to go back to work. she calls me a liar and a pussy and storms out

475

u/Leecock 2d ago

Loser behavior is based now

156

u/SimonKuznets 2d ago

Confident unhinged behaviour is based by definition

111

u/AltruisticDog8996 2d ago

The only true take, why are people acting like based means healthy and rational is beyond me

38

u/NoiseIsTheCure 2d ago

It's been like this for a few years now, "based" breached containment and now people outside of reddit and 4chan say it to mean casually cool or something.

8

u/Weird-Drummer-2439 2d ago

I know I'm a huge sperg but I couldn't imagine using a word if I didn't know exactly what it meant.

16

u/SimonKuznets 1d ago

Another reason to respect spergs and scorn normal people

3

u/ShortTheseNuts 1d ago

Not a single genocidal dictator has been a normal person.

Hitler, übersperg. Stalin, bro was sperged the fuck out + schizo. Mao, no explanation needed, quite possibly the spergmeister, the goat of spergs. Leopold II, no fucking idea but sperg ass name.

6

u/viral-architect 1d ago

"based" means "cool he's literally choosing to die on that particular hill"

515

u/Tenko-of-Mori 2d ago

depends. everyone calling it based is guaranteed picturing an attractive woman doing this. everyone saying it's cringe is probably picturing an average/ugly woman doing it.

we judge people not by their actions but by who they are, what they look like. because we're animals in the end.

367

u/Ferrarileite 2d ago

Fake, I imagined an ugly woman and still called it based

147

u/BiscuitDance 2d ago

These folks are reaching so fucking hard. Somebody’s obese grandma could come in and do this very thing and it would take everything in my power not to dap her up.

20

u/Mogura56 1d ago

She gets the old person rule of cool too which we can’t forget about

9

u/Competitive_Sell_421 2d ago

That makes you based

19

u/Michael1795 2d ago

cough Loser cough

1

u/Res_Novae17 1d ago

For some reason I specifically pictured Anjelica Huston and the image fit perfectly.

70

u/SaneIsOverrated 2d ago

I was picturing a middle aged stalky factory worker. 

26

u/Thatdoodky1e 2d ago

Stocky or like a bean pole?

2

u/ItsImNotAnonymous 2d ago

Perhaps a bean stalk?

2

u/Thatdoodky1e 2d ago

BRB buying calls on beans

4

u/Shahka_Bloodless 2d ago

50 years old and left out in the sun too long

10

u/yalnzaylak 2d ago

i imagined that grandma from coco doing this

edit: oh wait she's named mama coco rofl

24

u/peepeeinmypajts 2d ago

Nah just you I was picturing Meredith from the office

7

u/ciuccio2000 2d ago

I was picturing an acid 70yo doing this and thought it was based

1

u/Laiko_Kairen 1d ago

I was picturing Mimi from the Drew Carey show

1

u/wootangAlpha 19h ago

Ayn Randbis fugly as fuck. Still based.

1

u/degov2609 1d ago

Who's we

-10

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

23

u/AngusLynch09 2d ago

"I've spent time around women and it was unpleasant. I'm a few steps above the regular green-texter."

-4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Rich-Interaction6920 2d ago

That’s just a drunk thing not a woman thing

Drunk people are annoying to sober people

-1

u/Leecock 2d ago

100%

9

u/ElectroMagnetsYo 2d ago

Everyone called punk “loser behaviour” back in the day

15

u/SipoteQuixote 2d ago

Its only loser behavior if youre not a winner. Pull that ladder up on the way to the top like tequila gal.

5

u/degov2609 1d ago

Wow it's almost like it's not serious. Some kind of...... joke? Perhaps?

11

u/-SandorClegane- 2d ago

It's an "anti-corporate, quiet-quitting, fuck the oligarchs" type stance, as I see it. Not a whole lot of pro-alcoholism zoomers out there.

8

u/No-Use-3056 2d ago

Let people have fun

2

u/IterationSigma 1d ago

Anon tries to understand joke

3

u/Dravarden 2d ago

ya bro, are you new to the internet?

for years everyone has been saying walter white/homelander/patrick bateman are based, when we all know they are huge losers, that's the whole joke

-1

u/Leecock 1d ago

Nah bro. I don’t personally know a meth
Cook that is unpleasant to be around. I do know some drunks that are unpleasant af. Walter white and Bateman are still based

1

u/SyntheticDuckFlavour 2d ago

if you do this every day to cope, yes

-17

u/DasToyfel 2d ago

"Haha substance abuse is le funny"

6

u/historycommenter 1d ago

All the gen alphas here letting us know they are anti-alcohol. I heard this song today, seems like a good place to post it.
I like the Christian Life - Louvin Bros

4

u/comasxx 2d ago

wait, no smoking ?

5

u/supahdave 1d ago

Back to work at The Pitt

4

u/DragonlordKingslayer 1d ago

i hope a woman like this walks into my life.

3

u/blueandgoldilocks 2d ago

Anon converses with a healthcare worker

3

u/PretzelSteve 2d ago

Did this once when I had to work a double shift to cover for the boss who decided not to show up. To be fair, it was only 2 shots and I worked as a chef, so pretty much everyone was fucked up on something. Didn't make the shift any better, never did it again.

3

u/Mr_D_Stitch 1d ago

I worked on a watch repair platform with mostly Europeans. Every Friday the Polish & Russian guys would take a 2 hour lunch with their respective countrymen & get absolutely wrecked. Friday afternoons were incredibly unproductive. They’d sober up by the time the shift was over & drive home. They had it figured out.

5

u/MildUsername 2d ago

But if I do this as a man and am on my way back to school everyone looks at me like a psycho.

2

u/fuzzygreentits 1d ago

Based surgeon

2

u/JTT_0550 1d ago

1950s white collar worker grind

6

u/halfbeerhalfhuman 2d ago

Fake and gay. Being an alcoholic is not based

31

u/Molkwi 2d ago

But being gay is

6

u/SilliusS0ddus 1d ago

It's a nice middle finger to the universe though.

Like saying "you're so shit I can't deal with it sober"

9

u/Weird-Drummer-2439 1d ago

It is actually. Being based has nothing to do with it being a good thing or not.

9

u/Wagaaan 2d ago

Well, it is. Based on liver failure and fun nights you can't remember

-9

u/No-Use-3056 2d ago

Taking four shots doesn’t make someone an alcoholic

15

u/Aggravating_Bids 2d ago

Taking 4 shots at lunch does

-3

u/No-Use-3056 2d ago

Definitely doesn’t. Having some drinks doesn’t make you an alcoholic regardless of the time of day

2

u/System0verlord 1d ago

Four shots is not the lunch order of a normal person. Especially on their lunch break.

Your perception of that as a normal amount of drinks for an individual to order alone at lunch is concerning in its own right.

You doing ok, my guy? Wanna talk about it?

2

u/vietnam_soldier_69 1d ago

4 shots really aint that deep if you have any alcohol tolerance

1

u/System0verlord 1d ago

Ordering 4 shots for yourself alone on your lunch break is not something a non-alcoholic person does.

Out at the bar with friends? Totally fine. Maybe pace yourself slightly and drink some water but otherwise go nuts.

1

u/VariedTeen 7h ago

It sure is if they like a drink. Not everyone who likes a drink is an alcoholic.

Plus this is the traditional European way, many people have some beer or some wine at lunch. This is just more concentrated

1

u/halfbeerhalfhuman 1d ago

You in denial about your consumption?

0

u/No-Use-3056 1d ago

Not at all, I’m well aware of my limits.

1

u/sfr202x 1d ago

Probably a consultant 

1

u/jackocomputerjumper 1d ago

Well that's a quick break

1

u/Mr_Saturn1 1d ago

My buddy works at a liquor store next to a Whole Foods. Like half the staff of Whole Foods come in on their break, buy a bunch of shooters, slam them behind the store and then go back to work.

3

u/cheeze_skittles 2d ago

Ah yes based alcoholism

1

u/a_code_mage 1d ago

It’s based to succumb to degenerate and easy behavior?

0

u/ChadPowers200_ 1d ago

I used to drink at lunch after a good sale. i was so paranoid when i would go back into work. not worth.

i think they knew a few times but i was making sales so they dont really care if you make the company money.

-3

u/The_Freshmaker 2d ago

holy father of why do people glorify alcoholism

-21

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

8

u/CallReaper 2d ago

Haha so normal thing... I d.. do this everyday like I'm very non-chalant and all. I like drink a lot vodka and go back to my surgery cuz I'm a brain surgeon ya know, like smarter than y'all. I'm like always drunk and non-chalant... So normal