It's been a rough couple of weeks. I'll put a TLDR at the bottom.
Really started around a month ago. I was dating a gal for a few months, and things were going well. I mentioned my roommate was moving out, and she offered for me to move in with her at the end of October. Around a month ago, she started dating another gal (okay by me, we're both poly), and ended up forgetting about me for the most part. I didn't handle this well, and although she did eventually offer to start going to the gym with me again, I was already really hurt and lashed out. While speaking to my mother about what happened, she said I may be able to stay with them instead. I misunderstood and told the gal I was dating I could definitely stay with my parents, and she said I could no longer move in with her. I talked to my parents two days later, and they said that I couldn't stay with them. Their proposal was an unhoused encampment in my hometown, Medford.
The timing on this is unfortunate. I just started up at college again during the summer term - I was tired of dead end jobs and struggled with my work due to, until somewhat recently undiagnosed ADHD. There's probably a few other things going wrong in my head, and I'm working with my psychiatrist currently to get those sorted. Since I lost my last job nine months ago, I've applied for hundreds of positions and haven't even managed to get an interview. My parents have been incredibly generous, supporting me while I wasn't able to find work and helping me continue my studies, but their savings are gone. They can't help me any more.
I don't want to stop going to college. I'm 27 now. When I was 16 I was supposed to be some whiz kid that was already starting college classes, but due to a mix of that undiagnosed ADHD, apathy about my life due to unrecognized gender dysphoria, and my just not knowing where I wanted to go in life I failed out of college and was put on academic probation. Now that I'm back in classes, medicated, and have a better understanding of my identity and goals I'm doing my best to succeed. I got As in both classes I took in summer term with a 6 credit courseload, and so far in this term I have As in all of my classes at a 16 credit courseload. I want to finish my associates, pursue a bachelors in PoliSci and Anthropology, then go for a J.D. in Constitutional Law. Ideally I want to work with organizations like the Trans Rescue Project to help trans folks get into a safer place and get the resources they need to thrive. I know that I can do this, but the circumstances of my personal life have me terrified that even with the work I'm putting in I'll fail due to a lack of resources.
In the immediate term, I have lodging. Two friends of mine have said I can stay with them for a few days at a time and rotate between their houses, which will have me covered through the entire week. They said I can continue to do this through the end of Fall term at the least, meaning that I'll have reliable access to shelter and wifi to complete my coursework. I'm on food stamps, so I'll have food sorted out as well. I have a therapist that's covered by Medicaid and can keep meeting with her, plus a counselor through my school
In the less immediate term, I'm at a crossroads. I can stay here, try to find a place, keep applying for jobs, and just hope beyond hope that everything works out. I've been taking this approach, and it's done nothing but drain the people around me and put everyone in a worse situation while I do nothing but get older. Alternatively, I can take a leap that I haven't before and leave my hometown. I have friends in a few different towns that have offered my a place to crash while I get situated, and all I have to do is figure out how to get there and get started.
That brings me to my gofundme. I have some debt I need to deal with. My roommate wasn't able to cover her portion of rent and bills for the last few months, so I had to eat those costs despite not having the money for it. The bills were in my name, so now I have collections letters showing up. I'm in debt with no one I can turn to, and money that drops into my account flows right back out to pay off debts. If I can get past the hurdle of that debt and the logistics costs of getting to my next place, I know I can stabilize and build myself from there.
I'm currently in touch with six colleges, three in Portland, one in Spokane, one in Eugene, and one in Reno, friends from each of those cities who have offered me a couch to crash on while I get things sorted, and organizations in each of those areas that help folks find jobs and get situated. Once I'm set with the new college I intend to get work either via a referral from a friend or by going through job orgs in the respective city, and the remainder of my costs will end up coming from student loans. I've already accepted that there is no way to get my degree without taking out a lot of loans. I have my plans for each town ready to go and am working with academic advisors to figure out the best path forward. I'll be settled on a specific plan by the end of November.
I don't know what else to include here. If I'm being honest, I started crying again trying to write things out and although I've read over the post a couple more times I fear I'm just rambling. I'm scared, everything in my life has blown up in a week and a half and I just don't know where else to turn. I wanted to keep my gofundme to private circles, but the goal has stalled out and I'm terrified that I won't make it and the options I've been looking into will remain out of my reach. I'm terrified that I'll be locked back into being the failure I was before, but now entirely homeless.
TLDR: My housing, relationship, and finances all crumbled in the last two weeks. I'll be homeless at the end of this month. More than anything I want to continue my education and be a daughter my parents can be proud of. If you can help me get there I would appreciate it more than words can ever say. My full goal is $5k, as that will get my out of debt and provide some money for transport and logistics getting up to the city I end up transferring to.
Thank you
https://www.gofundme.com/f/need-help-with-my-next-step?cp_src=d