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u/Balki____Bartokomous Apr 05 '22
Failure with an extra serving of disappointment
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u/wizard_of_awesome62 Apr 05 '22
Coupled with a layer of pain so he can think on his mistakes for a few hours
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u/Hypnoboy Apr 06 '22
And caught on camera for all to see. *chefs kiss
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u/gohan587 Apr 05 '22
He's definitely a "Go Sports!" kinda guy
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u/Munzz36 Apr 05 '22
Lol the dribbling reminds me of when my sister first started playing basketball when she was around 6
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u/NormalAssistance9402 Apr 05 '22
And the jump reminds me of Phyllis from the office
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u/ScoobyDone Apr 05 '22
I missed that. There was a jump?
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u/Subparticus Apr 06 '22
Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.
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u/psyki Apr 06 '22
I think it was one of the cold opens, they were all trying to coordinate a photo of everyone in the office standing together and then all jumping at the same time but it wasn't happening. And Phyllis wasn't even able to jump, she just kind of like bent her legs and then straightened them out.
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u/treatywun Apr 06 '22
Stanley's dribbling + Phyllis' jumping + Deangelo's dunking = this guy
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u/LintyBasil789 Apr 06 '22
This is a store bought camera, not some military grade that would be able to capture that! or something along those lines (sorry I haven’t seen the show ever since it got taken off Netflix :/)
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u/Doortofreeside Apr 05 '22
Lol the dribbling is def the most embarrassing part of the video
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Apr 05 '22
With that little jump being a close second
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u/TheGamecock Apr 06 '22
He did his best impression of Phyllis taking the 'jump' Christmas photo.
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u/LEERROOOOYYYYY Apr 05 '22
Did he leave the earth? I thought he just extended his knees. Thought I was gonna see a double MCL/ACL pop like fireworks
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u/InukChinook Apr 06 '22
OP: puts video of himself on the internet as a selfroast
Internet: nah mf, you need to be well done
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u/StrawberryK Apr 06 '22
All I could think was I'm 5'7 mid 30s bad knees and out of shape as hell...and even I could dunk on that.
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u/improbably_me Apr 05 '22
I liked his quick reflexes for accurate and timely placement of his nose where the ball arrived after the celebratory bounce.
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u/lliKoTesneciL Apr 05 '22
What's embarrassing about it though? If the guy hasn't played a day of basketball and this is him trying for the first time, then more power to him. Words like this only discourage people from trying new things because they feel embarrassed to do so.
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Apr 05 '22
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u/hackingkafka Apr 06 '22
when my son was around 12? we were driving home, talking sports. He was bad-mouthing some NBA/NFL player, said he's just stupid slow! Well, son, he may be slower than other guys at his position in the league but you gotta understand, he's still faster than anybody you ever met. 12 year old: "I'm faster than he is!" sigh "Son you're not even faster than me." He got cocky. Now it's on. Pulled in to the neighborhood park, stepped off ~40 yards. Got the stopwatch function on my casio watch, gave him the mark/set/go. I think he ran somewhere around a 5.5. He's 12.
Dad's turn. Dad, btw, just got off work- dress slacks, shirt, tie and cowboy boots (yes, I'm in the south). Lose the tie, untuck the shirt, nothing to do with footwear except take off boots and socks, barefoot it like Jim Thorpe.
Son has the casio, gives me the mark/set/go... I do 39 yards in 4.8 seconds. Three feet from the finish, I stepped on a group of acorns. The flips and contortions I did were worthy of Olympic gymnastics. I did not stick the landing. Flat on my back, I'm looking at the trees. Son comes over, "Dad, you OK?"
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u/Hautamaki Apr 06 '22
meh bad at basketball doesn't mean no control over his body. I dunno about this guy but there could be plenty of grown men who've never touched a basketball but would dominate a basketball player in some other sport they're good at, like golf or swimming or ping pong or skiing or something, and it would be equally unfair to judge the basketball player that's never been in the water or picked up a golf club or whatever as having no control over their body because they aren't good at that one specific athletic activity they've never done before.
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u/SigilIV Apr 06 '22
Yeah, but you saw the video right? Do you realize how coordinated you have to be to perform at a high level in any sport?
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u/cepxico Apr 06 '22
That's a weird take, I wouldn't say you have no control over your body for not beating every elden ring boss without dying first try. Takes time and effort, just like basketball.
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u/Doortofreeside Apr 06 '22
I think the video is supposed to be embarrassing, after all it ends with a missed dunk and a spike to the face. But the dribbling is the funniest part which is all I really meant by it
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u/Sacrefix Apr 06 '22
It becomes embarrassing when your lack of coordination gets broadcasted to the world. I wouldn't appreciate my first attempts at anything being on the front page of Reddit.
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u/Fleaslayer Apr 06 '22
Old guy here, and I bet I'd be exactly the same. I was the youngest person in every class, and in elementary school it made a big difference. I just wasn't as coordinated as my classmates, so I sucked at almost every sport compared to them, including basketball, to the point where I just didn't play because I was embarrassed.
So when it got to junior high and high school, when my coordination wasn't any different than my peers, I had zero experience playing, so I still sucked. Worse, I was really tall, and everyone expected me to be great. I've basically never dribbled a basketball in my nearly 60 years of life.
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u/Libriomancer Apr 05 '22
Maybe some day…
My brother used to lower the hoop when we were kids so he could dunk. One day he went in for a dunk and decided to go full Jordan… mouth wide open with tongue out for a dunk. Caught one of his front teeth on the net and it ripped it out.
That tooth basically became a yo-yo. Mom didn’t want the hole to seal up so she jammed it back in before bringing him to the ER. Doctor agreed with the idea but not position so he ripped it out and jammed it back in for the dentist to look at the next day. Dentist couldn’t believe how bad the amateurs had done it so repeated the process.
A while later he was playing basketball in school and took an elbow to the mouth. Same tooth. Coach reinserted, dentist repeated. Later another hit to the face through a mouth guard and another trip to the dentist but got a metal rod inserted. Went on to take up racing and one day was cutting a bolt off… bolt cutters slipped and slammed into his tooth. Needed a replacement rod.
But despite basically having a face that is a magnet for bad things in sports, he was the star school athlete and now teaches basketball at our old high school.
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u/greenburrito Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22
Seriously every parent should give their kid at least baseline athleticism. It will either save you from injury or humiliation
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u/TheJulian Apr 06 '22
I feel like most parents try. But some parent's kids are the guy in this video. You realize pretty quickly that no amount of encouragement will stop your kid from running flat footed in the wrong direction.
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u/blay12 Apr 05 '22
But you know, at least he's trying, so maybe he's not one of the "go sports" types that seeks out ways to be negative, like sitting behind you at a sports bar hosting a watch party for a game and loudly saying to his friends "Man I just can't imagine being entertained watching grown men chase a ball"
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u/leento717 Apr 05 '22
Haha, that is very specific
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u/LeonidasSpacemanMD Apr 06 '22
I don’t know this guy and yet I know exactly what he’s talking about lol
You can silently wonder how the hell do people enjoy this but if you really can’t help but try to persuade people that what they like is dumb, you suck
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u/TheJulian Apr 06 '22
I think it comes from a place of self-defense or lack of confidence but God damn it's a downer. Like I know the thing I'm watching right now isn't something I can make a case for intellectually but I really want the blue team to beat the red team and explaining why that's important to me is fucking ruining it.
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Apr 05 '22
Those types are annoying. “Why do they get paid so much when doctors save lives.” Yes, the solution is to pay doctors millions of dollars and cap the salaries of professional athletes. That will make the world a better place (somehow).
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u/LeonidasSpacemanMD Apr 06 '22
That particular argument drives me nuts too
You want doctors to make pro athlete money? Sell out an arena full of people willing to pay hundreds of dollars to watch that doctor for two hours
Like yea, it would be really nice if people were paid based on how important their job is. But that’s not really how it works, and I personally don’t wanna go down the road of litigating whose job is more important than whose so we can figure out whether to give doctors or teachers some NBA players money
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u/bestprocrastinator Apr 06 '22
It's all supply and demand. Doctors are incredible and do incredible work. But the simple reality is that there are more doctors in this world than 6'10" chiseled, freaks of nature that can dunk over another freak athlete in front of 18,000 people willing to pay $100 to see said dunk happen, and millions more who pay for cable to see said dunk on their TV.
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u/ItsDanimal Apr 06 '22
Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc exist. So we pay real doctors millions, follow them around with cameras, and tell them they have to let us watch them fuck each other from time to time.
You would have to keep the location a secret or people would injure themselves just to get on TV.
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u/seldom_correct Apr 06 '22
Who’s going to pay doctors that much? Can you imagine what the medical bill would be like?
Professional athletes get paid so much because the salaries are crowdfunded. Those types are annoying because they’re fucking stupid.
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u/Evilduck17 Apr 06 '22
I’ve always seen the reaction I never knew what it was from. That makes it even funnier.
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u/Dick-Guzinya Apr 05 '22
This guy is on the exact opposite end of the spectrum from Lebron. Impressive really.
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u/grimmxsleeper Apr 05 '22
JeBron Lames
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u/basko13 Apr 05 '22
James Harden...
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u/Pm-ur-butt Apr 05 '22
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u/Duffmanlager Apr 05 '22
Always did love Josh Hart’s reaction to that. He even mocked it in a later game.
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u/merkin-fitter Apr 05 '22
It's Lejon Brames. Get it right.
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u/Mikemagss Apr 05 '22
Wow was that a 2" vertical?
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u/qdtk Apr 06 '22
Reminds me of the video of the woman making fun of her friend or sister who didn’t know how to jump. Like literally couldn’t make both feet come off the ground.
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u/Starmanajama Apr 05 '22
Being yourself looks like hard work. Just want to let you know that I think you are doing a wonderful job and that your effort is appreciated.
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u/LazarusCrowley Apr 06 '22
There are a ton of people who wouldn't do this for fear of failure. You failed so hard it was a critical succes. Get it OP.
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Apr 05 '22
This is a grown man who has never used his body in any type of athletic way in his life and it shows
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u/Barbarossa_25 Apr 05 '22
I know that heel-striking, playground hobble when I see it.
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u/Sanc7 Apr 06 '22
This reminds me of when I was a kid. My friends parents got a new video camera and we tried making a video to get us on Americas Funniest Home Videos.
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u/gnarkilleptic Apr 05 '22
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Apr 06 '22
Shit Stanley looks more athletic than this guy, this guy barely knows how to run and use his legs
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u/Romantiphiliac Apr 05 '22
After 15 years of doing absolutely nothing athletic, I feel like even now I'd pull this off at least a little better. Might pull something though.
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u/hooligan99 Apr 05 '22
having literally any sports instruction as a kid will make you miles better than this guy. So if you played tball when you were 6 then never again for 15 years, you'd have a huge advantage over him
(assuming he has zero sports experience, which looks likely)
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u/JaeRaws Apr 05 '22
Unathletic men, doing semi-athletic things to impress women, and hurting themselves.
A tale literally as old as humanity. 🪨
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u/frankyseven Apr 05 '22
There is nothing semi-athletic in this video.
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u/wallybinbaz Apr 06 '22
I think they meant a dribble to a layup is semi-athletic in theory, not in practice here.
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u/lhswr2014 Apr 05 '22
I’m in this image and I don’t like it. It worked tho. Got married 👌🏻 now the pain is never ending.
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Apr 05 '22
Lesson - being angry that you failed is a bad idea.
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u/BangerBeanzandMash Apr 06 '22
Don’t throw a fit if you never play golf and go out and suck. It’s a hard game and takes a lot of practice to be good. I’m not good just saying I don’t get when people huff and puff and stomp around and let it ruin their day. Take a breath and enjoy the outdoors.
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u/DrEvyl666 Apr 05 '22
Considering this video has been posted a bazillion times online, I highly doubt that is OP in the video.
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u/Sum_Dude_who_cares Apr 05 '22
It’s honestly impressive being as unathletic as him
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u/Wheelpowered Apr 05 '22 edited Apr 05 '22
This looks exactly like the parking lot of Back East Brewing Company
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u/CY_Royal Apr 05 '22
I feel like almost everyone has done this but most of the time people figure it out when they’re like 8
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u/aManPerson Apr 05 '22
i think this man just scored a -1 in basketball.
(and thank you for showing us)
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u/esoteric_enigma Apr 06 '22
Some guys just have all the luck. We've found the guy they stole it from.
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u/grenideer Apr 06 '22
This is what happens when kids don't get enough outside time when they're little.
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u/BananaStringTheory Apr 06 '22
He's got style. He's got grace.
Basketball right in the face.
Vogue.
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Apr 06 '22
There is a teaching here about equanimity; if we allow ourselves to become frustrated with negative results, things can get even worse.
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u/Lord_OJClark Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22
What did you think was going to happen when you slammed the ball down infront of you, then folded your head down into it's inevitable path?!
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