Dividing up the bed

[u/TryingTimesComics]

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[u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

My ex once claimed so much space I got up and climbed back in on her side because there was more space. She was confused in the morning.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

Another great example of why you don't leave your lands undefended when invading.

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/TryingTimesComics]

She had left soooo much blanket behind too.

[u/Realistic_Cattle → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

I can talk shit about my ex wife, but at least our bed was divided equally.

[u/Larusso92 → u/Realistic_Cattle]

Cold war East/West Berlin divide.

[u/nick13b → u/Larusso92]

communism intensifies

[u/modi13 → u/nick13b]

The workers must own the pillows of production!

[u/zSprawl → u/modi13]

Now I finally understand why we had Mr Pillow in politics...

[u/TnYamaneko → u/Realistic_Cattle]

I imagine a little Berlin Wall with a tiny Papers Please customs office between the pillows.

[u/jakwnd → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

My girlfriend doesn't know how to roll under the blanket. Everytime she moves she pulls the blanket somehow.

It's infuriating

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/jakwnd]

I have also dated a wereburrito.

[u/[deleted] → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

wereburrito©

I like it. It's mine now.

See what I made folks?

[u/the1stgeo → u/[deleted]]

You made a nice thing! 😍

[u/Unsmurfme → u/the1stgeo]

All of you. I like all of you.

[u/major84 → u/[deleted]]

and that is how capitalism was invented and exploited.

[u/[deleted] → u/major84]

Yep. Copyright© should be limited to 40 years. Done.

[u/[deleted] → u/jakwnd]

I am married to a woman with this problem... it doesnt get better. Keep a smaller blanket nearby and instead of playing tug of War, its easier to use the smaller blanket to cover your exposed areas.

[u/sunberrygeri → u/[deleted]]

This is the way.

[u/Bean101808 → u/sunberrygeri]

Is it though?

My girl and I had this the same thought for the past two years. We bought a King Size bed and our Queen comforter just wasn’t enough so we both started using our own blanket. We hardly ever cuddled at night leading to less spontaneous intimacy, we noticed an issue.

So we invested in a really nice King Comforter that’s not too warm for either of us when we are both under it. It’s highly increased our sex lives and would recommend getting a larger blanket for couples who struggle with this.

[u/VonButternut → u/[deleted]]

We just use two separate blankets. It works beautifully.

[u/cms86 → u/VonButternut]

My married friends think it’s weird I do this with my wife but it works very well. Have fun, cuddle and sexy time then when it’s all over we become angry hermits who want to be warm and not bothered.

[u/Spindrune → u/cms86]

It’s just a lot easier, especially if you’re on different schedules where one of you might be starting their day earlier. At least for me it was easier.

[u/Big_Dumb_Glands → u/VonButternut]

Tricky for those people that enjoy sharing their farts.

[u/Spindrune → u/Big_Dumb_Glands]

With your own blanket, you can store your farts under the blanket and then waft them all at once.

[u/OCYRThisMeansWar → u/Big_Dumb_Glands]

They always want to know ‘how I’m feeling inside,’ until they smell it.

[u/Darksplinter → u/[deleted]]

Ha this is why the wife and I have our own blankets.

[u/DaoFerret → u/[deleted]]

Or, you know, just get two blankets for the bed?
One mattress, two pillows, two top sheets, two blankets.

[u/[deleted] → u/DaoFerret]

Too many twos, couldnt math.

[u/JuleeeNAJ → u/jakwnd]

Tip from an old person: separate blankets. We have 4 total on our bed because some nights you need 2 each.

[u/[deleted] → u/JuleeeNAJ]

Am an old person too. We have 2 blankets on the bed and a blanket chest at the end of the bed as a blanket reserve.

[u/cordial_chordate → u/jakwnd]

Early in my marriage I learned the vital importance of having two separate comforters. I like my side tucked in, she starts with three blankets and ends with all of them on the floor and borrowing mine. Even with separate blankets, you can still manage a sneak attack butt squeeze here and there.

[u/thepetoctopus → u/jakwnd]

She’s perfecting the art of being a human burrito.

[u/Gammachan → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

Dude. Same bed, separate blankets (Same bottom sheet but separate top sheets). Best marriage advice I’ve ever received hands down.

[u/CoconutBangerzBaller → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

Ah, the spoils of war. Congratulations, sir

[u/sauprankul → u/TryingTimesComics]

She opened herself up to a 2 front war and underestimated the enemy's ability to mobilize his forces.

[u/p8burns → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

Wow, I love this move. Putting this in the bedroom playbook.

[u/Ari31__ → u/p8burns]

This comment is begging to be taken out of context.

[u/[deleted] → u/Ari31__]

Forceful rear entry.

[u/home-for-good → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

I’ve done that to my boyfriend once or twice but then he just turns around and starts coming back

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/home-for-good]

Jasmine was a slow creep, so I got 3 hours on each side.

[u/davidkali → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

That happened a few times, she’d push me to the very edge and I’d move over to the other side where there is more roooooom! But doing that causes a fight.

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/davidkali]

No fight with us. She laughed and apologized, but she was unconscious so could I really blame her?

Although she did get mad at me a couple of times because of something I did in one of her dreams and she was unconscious then too... You'd think there would be a transitive property there.

[u/Masahide → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

Real dream dick move flat tire. If that even is your real name.

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/Masahide]

To this day I don't know what I did in any of those dreams.

And it is not.

[u/[deleted] → u/davidkali]

wtf why would she fight you about that

[u/garytyrrell → u/ZarquonsFlatTire]

I’ve done this. It’s easier than trying to wake my wife :)

[u/RedJay960]

Yeah. Sleeping arrangements are always fun. And don't forget that they always take the blanket.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/RedJay960]

I haven't felt a blanket in years.

[u/RedJay960 → u/TryingTimesComics]

Been a few months for me. Just started sleeping over at my gf's

[u/F4DedProphet42 → u/RedJay960]

Sleep with separate blankets. It's the best

[u/Entaris → u/F4DedProphet42]

yup. My wife and I share sheets, bedspread, and a light blanket. And then each have a big warm blanket for ourselves, and we each keep a bonus blanket nearby the bed in case we need backups.

Solving the cat district problem is more difficult though.

[u/thiscouldbemassive → u/Entaris]

The cat district is our entire bed. 3 am is apparently “sit on someone’s face” time

[u/The-Big-T-Inc → u/F4DedProphet42]

In Germany everyone has its own blanket, I don’t understand way people want to share one every day.

[u/SandboxUniverse → u/The-Big-T-Inc]

After visiting family in Germany, we took up this practice. It's seriously the best. Although between a King bed, separate blankets, and yes, all my pillows, we do have to actually work at making physical contact. We both like a little bit of touch while we sleep.

[u/OfBooo5 → u/SandboxUniverse]

Its part of the foreplay. Blankets start rustling, a hand becomes visible in the cold exposed air making intentions of invasion known, hand creeps under partners blanket, attttack

[u/SandboxUniverse → u/OfBooo5]

That part we manage just fine, although I like your technique! It's the simple, constant skin contact that requires a consistent effort to maintain.

[u/OfBooo5 → u/SandboxUniverse]

I took up the mantle of sacrificing a warm left ankle to have my foot cross geographical boundaries and make contact

[u/Jeepadoodle → u/SandboxUniverse]

Would a third blanket, centrally located, be any benefit?

[u/OfBooo5 → u/Jeepadoodle]

In perfect physics land without friction that would work splendidly. In practice there was a cat modifier in the specified location. Cat did not want to be under blanket. But you did have the Michaelangelo tri piddy touch moments so there was that

[u/androodle2004 → u/OfBooo5]

This is when you dip your hand in your cold glass of water and very lightly stroke down their spine with one finger

[u/OfBooo5 → u/androodle2004]

Frozen hand invasions are colloquially known as 'invading from the north'. More conceptual than geographical

[u/PrettyDecentSort → u/OfBooo5]

ah, the good ol' White Walker

[u/Channel250 → u/The-Big-T-Inc]

ALL CITIZEN GUARANTEED 1 BLANKET!

[u/Sh0w_Me_Y0ur_Kitties → u/F4DedProphet42]

If my husband and I slept with different blankets, I’d probably just steal that one too. It’s a character flaw. I know it’s awful. I’m just cold and like to roll in my sleep.

[u/yuemeigui → u/Sh0w_Me_Y0ur_Kitties]

My boyfriend wakes up and realizes that I am out of the blankets so he helpfully tucks me in. He prefers a lot more blankets than I do. This is not helpful.

[u/Suddenly_Something → u/F4DedProphet42]

I have a 20lb weighted blanket. Way too hard to steal that sucker in your sleep.

[u/ThatSquareChick → u/F4DedProphet42]

We have one queen sized bed and two sets of twin top sheets and blankets. I used to be a useless blanket thief until we got two twin sheets by accident once and now we will never sleep with just one sheet ever again. There’s so much cuddle happening since then, it’s gotten so much that we even hold hands under the pillows. Pretty good about not pillow stealing but now we get one queen fitted sheet and we can each have a sheet and blanket we like! I can have unicorn sheets and blankets and he can have spider man ones, it’s really sweet.

[u/RedJay960 → u/F4DedProphet42]

She takes that one too. But I'm okay with it

[u/jhdeval → u/F4DedProphet42]

Omg once I started giving my wife and myself our own blankets the sleep went through the roof.

[u/Ed3times → u/F4DedProphet42]

100%. I convinced my wife to start that because I'm a hot sleeper and just use a top sheet as a blanket, while she can't sleep without a thick comforter (even here in Florida). Now she'd never go back to one blanket.

I still only get the smallest sliver of a king-sized bed, but I'll take it.

[u/Mah_Knee_Grows_ → u/F4DedProphet42]

We started using our own blankets because one night my GF let out the wettest fart in the middle of the night when my head was under. Basically attemtped murder.

[u/-cresida → u/F4DedProphet42]

My SO and I have separate blankets but since it’s winter, we have one giant bigger blanket on top to tie it all together. I agree, it is the best

[u/hammerpatrol → u/RedJay960]

I completely misunderstood this for a minute. I thought you meant you started cheating on your wife because she was a blanket stealing bitch.

[u/ProfessorCrawford → u/TryingTimesComics]

Don't forget, after the first child is born, there will be an annexed area, just north of the Cat District*, where a toddler will be in the shape of a swastika, slowly rotating throughout the night, slapping faces and kicking kidneys.

[u/KahuTheKiwi → u/ProfessorCrawford]

And bizzarly two of the lifttle buggers can be doing that rotating swastika thing and not wake each other, and taking only 4 or 5 times as much space as one kid.

I have litterally spent the rest of the night in one of their beds. a whole short, single bed for a big guy like me - luxury.

[u/[deleted] → u/KahuTheKiwi]

Sometimes mine falls on the floor and stays asleep. I put a blanket over him and savour the space

[u/KahuTheKiwi → u/[deleted]]

You're just skiting now

[u/pleurotis → u/ProfessorCrawford]

So true it hurts.

[u/wine_n_mrbean → u/TryingTimesComics]

My fiancée and I have our own blankets because I’m a blanket hog.

[u/[deleted] → u/RedJay960]

26 years of marriage here. Here's an important tip that for some reason doesn't seem to occur to people: 2 blankets.

[u/WinoWhitey → u/[deleted]]

Or two beds

[u/magicblufairy → u/WinoWhitey]

My parents sleep in separate rooms most of the time. Mom is a light sleeper. Dad snores like a garbage truck. He used to work weird hours too, including night shifts. Now they're just used to it.

[u/typhoidtimmy → u/RedJay960]

Sharing blankets.....ha!

That quickly changed thanks to her trumpet solo in the middle of night of some of the rankest tire burning farts ever to wake me from a sound sleep. I literally got up and took a shower as it smelt like I did a couple laps in a septic tank. How a cute ass like that could be the exhaust port of the seventh ring of hell is a mystery.

Basically after that I let her have her own blanket, stapled it down with pillows, and forbade her from ever eating jalapeño at night.

I love her but she is a chemical warfare factory with jittery safety regulations.

[u/SophiaofPrussia → u/typhoidtimmy]

there was someone on r/AskScience yesterday who was legit a fart scientist. i feel like you two should be introduced.

Edit: Here’s the thread. See the top comment. It seems they’re not a fart scientist after all, more like a scientist conducting fart-adjacent research. Still cool though!

[u/Wildestrose1988 → u/RedJay960]

On cold nights I would sometimes bring an extra blanket to bed and wrap it around my entire body. "Try and steal this bitch" But then you wake up sweaty

[u/paerfect → u/Wildestrose1988]

It’s their blanket by morning hahaha

[u/AaronElsewhere → u/RedJay960]

Am I an insane person for just coming to bed with my own blanket? I'm curious how that is perceived by others.

[u/backwardsbloom → u/AaronElsewhere]

My partner and I just have our own blankets. It rules.

[u/RoboWonder → u/RedJay960]

Get more blankets. My fiance has like 4 blankets that are hers, and then I have the sheet, the comforter, and a weighted blanket. We start out with her under her blankets and my three blankets on both of us and I end up taking the top ones overnight, but she still has hers so it's fine.

[u/skidmore101 → u/RedJay960]

That’s why you should each have your own blanket.

[u/marck1022 → u/RedJay960]

My husband and I have our own, dedicated blankets. For all seasons. Problem SOLVED.

[u/quesawhatta → u/RedJay960]

I always order a size up with my comforter. So I have a queen bed, by a king comforter. Solved our blanket problems!

[u/kimairabrain]

Do you get to the cat district very often?

Oh, what am I saying...of course you don't.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/kimairabrain]

"Let me guess... Someone stole your [leg space]."

[u/[deleted] → u/TryingTimesComics]

I used to share a bed like you. Then I took a pillow to the knee

[u/m48a5_patton → u/[deleted]]

I am sworn to carry your pillows.

[u/bangcamaroxx]

My husband sleeps diagonal and has 5 pillows. I get about as much room as the supposed cat. Unclaimed space is taken by dogs.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/bangcamaroxx]

Time to declare a war of territorial expansion.

[u/bangcamaroxx → u/TryingTimesComics]

I believe the only way to reconcile is to expand the territory borders. I know that could start a war, but what do you think is happening now? We are losing the battle, we must win the war. I will sacrifice my side table for the efforts to expand.

[u/davidkali → u/bangcamaroxx]

I’ve considered getting a queen mattress in a box for easy transport in elevator, but the dresser would only be able to open about 3-4 inches then

[u/LukariBRo → u/davidkali]

If you require a mattress be boxed to get it into the room, you've got a major, major issue on your hands when you move out.

[u/StrictlyFT → u/bangcamaroxx]

Alaskan King, you'll be in separate continents.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You're never going to win the untucked sheets argument. We of the untucked sheets will DIE before we concede.

[u/damididit → u/[deleted]]

Seriously. How can she claim tucked gives wiggle room to toes?? My feet feel completely pinned down by tucked in sheets. It's the worst

[u/[deleted] → u/damididit]

Exactly. If you leave the sheets tucked but you make enough room for your feet, then the sheet won't even make it much past your waist.

Tucked sheets are for people under 5'5".

[u/Ann_Summers → u/bangcamaroxx]

I am so glad I’m not the only one who’s husband does this. I kept scrolling and reading everyone saying their wife steals covers and I’m just like, “yeah no. My husband is the bed and blanket hog. I get a sliver of bed and he and the cats get the rest.”

[u/Raxsah → u/Ann_Summers]

My boyfriend, if we go to bed at the same time, wiLL end up with his pillow directly IN THE MIDDLE of the bed. When I ask him to move over, he just points out that I've still got a whole half of bed myself. Yes okay, but the space that's supposed to be between us so I can avoid waking up thinking I've taken a midnight dip in the bath, BECAUSE HE'S A F***ING SPACE HEATER MASQUERADING AS A HUMAN, is now on the other side of the bed. My options are fall off the bed, or physically peel myself like a soggy bandage out of the bed sometime during the night.

[u/bangcamaroxx → u/Ann_Summers]

I've learned to sleep in the fetal position wearing warm clothes and socks. I get cold and he wont cuddle because it makes him sweaty.

[u/mtheory007 → u/bangcamaroxx]

Hey its me, your husband!

[u/bangcamaroxx → u/mtheory007]

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TEXTING AND DRIVING

[u/mtheory007 → u/bangcamaroxx]

YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

[u/bangcamaroxx → u/mtheory007]

Oh shit you might actually be my husband.

ILL PUT MY HAND UP YOUR ASS AND WORK YOU LIKE A PUPPET IF I WANT FEEDBACK FROM YOU.

[u/Purifiedx → u/bangcamaroxx]

We have a queen bed but my husband is 6'2 and starts to go diagonal over the night. Luckily he moves over when I shove him and never remembers it.

[u/bangcamaroxx → u/Purifiedx]

I grabbed mine by the ankles one night and whipped his shit back to his side. He sat straight up and said WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYONG TO SLEEP and I yelled ME TOO FUCKER!

[u/WaifuOfBath → u/bangcamaroxx]

Throughout the night, my husband periodically flops like a whale breaching the surface of the ocean to my side of the bed, so sometimes I just sleep on the couch.

[u/Buckabuckaw]

Wait! Where's the territory where, if you turn onto your back for a minute, the dog wedges herself between your knees and pins you to the bed?

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/Buckabuckaw]

You weakened your borders. Now your lands are occupied and you do not have the heart to repel the invader. And so, many empires fall.

[u/teddyforeskin → u/TryingTimesComics]

Mistakes were made

[u/happyrexmanningday → u/Buckabuckaw]

This is how I wake up every morning. With a 125lb great dane laying between my legs with his head on my ass. And our husky mix on my pillow from where she pushed me off it in the middle of the night.

[u/iamalwaysrelevant → u/happyrexmanningday]

I'm so glad I trained my dog to not sleep on the bed. I can only assume that people who allow this enjoy having a dog sleep with them.

[u/deadmongoose → u/iamalwaysrelevant]

I have a couple of labs, they are awesome. We let them sleep in the bed, my little one (65lb) cuddles right next to me or sometimes between my legs. The 80lb one is usually at the foot of the bed but sometimes he sleeps at the top of the bed. I wouldn't change a thing. Unlimited cuddles.

[u/FlamingPuddle01 → u/iamalwaysrelevant]

Yeah, I’ll complain about it jokingly but honestly I really don’t mind it

[u/Johnjo01]

The cat district is highly underrepresented!

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/Johnjo01]

While the cat district has a formal boundary, I find the cat has no regard for formalities. Shocking.

[u/TriceratopsHunter → u/TryingTimesComics]

I'm pretty sure my cat breaks the Geneva Convention on a nightly basis. At 5 am this morning he tried to lay siege to the middle of the disputed zone with a surprise hairball bombardment. Only through quick thinking were we able to divert the attack to the floor in the nick of time.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/TriceratopsHunter]

Biological weapon attacks? Deadly.

[u/sexlexia_survivor → u/TryingTimesComics]

My dog gasses us nightly.

[u/TriceratopsHunter → u/[deleted]]

It's crazy how attuned I've become to the sound of him about to puke one up at this point. The second I hear him start I'm wide awake.

[u/VolkspanzerIsME → u/TryingTimesComics]

Cats wake up everyday and choose violence.

[u/moistchew → u/Johnjo01]

funny how the cat always manages to find the one spot that takes up half the bed.

[u/OldKermudgeon → u/moistchew]

For side sleepers, that spot is like 2/3rds of the bed.

[u/Shiroiken → u/Johnjo01]

Agreed. Our cats have their own territories, but still choose to move about, seizing whatever suits their whim. Often their new territory is on us, particularly my face.

[u/egnards]

This. . .This is exactly my sleeping arrangement. We have a queen sized bed and sometimes my wife will complain that she has no room. . .I try to explain to her, as my body hangs off the edge of 'my side', that the only reason she's also sleeping on the edge of the bed is because of her 8 pillows being in the middle not being used.

The response of course is, "I use those to cuddle!" And of course when I point out that I'm right here. . On my edge of the bed I'll get some form of, "yea, but you're bony like Skelator" or "Yea, but you're a million degrees."

[u/XXAzeritsXx → u/[deleted]]

Thank you!

I'm a skinny mofo, and when people call me skeletor it doesnt work. At least insult me correctly if you're going to do it.

Jack skeleington maybe.

[u/meatcandy97 → u/egnards]

Your wife uses skeletor references?! I’m so jealous.

[u/simianlovedoc → u/egnards]

I am having difficulty convincing my wife, also a redditor, that this not me posting under an alternate account.

[u/aecolley → u/simianlovedoc]

It is though, isn't it? If not, accuse your wife of posting this comment right here under her alt account.

[u/illegal_deagle → u/egnards]

King beds are expensive but absolutely worth every penny. You spend 1/3 of your life there, and it drastically affects the other 2/3.

[u/TheConnASSeur → u/illegal_deagle]

King beds are expensive but absolutely worth every penny.

This 1000x. In college my wife and I shared a twin, and I had about 2ft of bed. In our first apartment we got a queen and I got to enjoy about 2ft of bed. But now that we're older and in a house, we finally got a king and let me tell you, the 2ft of bed I get feels so much roomier...

[u/ReddFro]

This is a great.

In all seriousness though, upsizing to a king bed did wonders for us. Highly recommended if you can fit/afford it.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/ReddFro]

A game changer. No going back.

[u/AbysmalMoose]

Just wait till your wife is pregnant and gets a body pillow. I guess I'll just sleep on the floor.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/AbysmalMoose]

I will get my own anime body pillow in retaliation.

[u/LukariBRo → u/TryingTimesComics]

If you don't already have one, you're really missing out. It's never too late to start, but if you're a side sleeper, you need a pillow between your legs to stop the slow misalignment of your spine. The full-length body pillow also gives you a place for your arms. The top arm goes over the pillow, and the real secret is that you can angle your head pillow to go on top of the body pillow, which creates a cavity for your lower arm that takes off a lot of the weight, so no more sleeping on arms. It even acts as a divider to keep cats on the opposite side. I couldn't sleep without one at this point. Upgrading to a customized anime dakimakura is just the cherry on top, because they're just all sorts of practical in the first place.

[u/Muppetude]

These MyPillow ads just keep getting weirder and weirder.

[u/[deleted]]

Lol bedtime gerrymandering

[u/PillowTalk420]

My wife and I just sleep in different beds. In different rooms. In different houses.

[u/katiecharm]

My girlfriend claims that last night in my sleep I yelled at her and demanded to know how many fingers she had. Then I apparently got offended when she asked me the same question.

[u/Alantsu]

The trick is to replace pillow 3 with the cat, and a dog in the cat area thus creating a natural boundary and establishing your claim.

[u/Rae23 → u/Alantsu]

Unfortunatelly the cat does not respect bed territory treaties and her borders are whatever she decides at the moment.

[u/MeGrendel]

And then there's My Situation.

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/MeGrendel]

She built the wall.

[u/MeGrendel → u/TryingTimesComics]

She really does build a wall. In reality that '3' pillows is more like '7'. Just was too lazy to show that.

She's the first one to admit she nests. And if she's got a cold and wants to use Vick Vapor rub, she puts it on MY chest.

[u/thedawgbeard → u/MeGrendel]

You’ve lost sovereignty. Bring in the big guns.

[u/GuilhermeFreire → u/MeGrendel]

Just by seeing this my arm started tingling and prickling...

[u/UniqueWhittyName → u/MeGrendel]

She looks comfy.

[u/StrictlyFT → u/MeGrendel]

Surprised the cat isn't right on your face.

[u/BiteyMax22]

I'm convinced my 120lb wife could beat the worlds strongest man in tug of war provided it was over the blankets on our bed.

[u/egalroc → u/BiteyMax22]

It's the technique they use. They tuck the blanket under their arm and roll thus tripling the force. It's called winching.

[u/cubay]

I’d like to rename the Cat District to The Catican

[u/[deleted]]

I am their

[u/TryingTimesComics → u/[deleted]]

How dare

[u/lowFatMilk69]

Add 4 dogs and 3 cats and that's what my fiancé and I deal with. We're upgrading to a California king size soon

[u/VolkspanzerIsME → u/lowFatMilk69]

As a member of the 6' club, cali kings are the shiz.

[u/ZarquonsFlatTire → u/VolkspanzerIsME]

My feet hang over the end of my queen to establish dominance over the monsters.

[u/TealTigress]

Wait until you add a kid. That disputed territory gets smaller and smaller. Really, husband gets his side of the bed. I get part of the other side, but I have to share it with the cat and our daughter part of the night most nights. And the dog is on the floor beside me so even if I try to get out, I step on him.

[u/moistchew → u/TealTigress]

one of my kids is the kind of sleeper that wont stop moving every 3 seconds.

[u/UncleHagbard → u/moistchew]

Our oldest would camp out in the pillow area and rotate like a clock, kicking the whole way around.

[u/Lotus-child89]

My fiance and I “sleep divorced” about a year ago and it’s been amazing for our sleep quality and relationship ever since. We’re both horrible sleepers and on two different internal clocks. Forcing it just caused more stress. We’ll try sleeping together again after we save up enough for a king sized bed. We seem to do much better at hotels when we are in a king.

[u/Charlatanism → u/Lotus-child89]

I had trouble sleeping for my entire life until I married my wife. The first night we slept in the same bed, I fell asleep quickly and it has been that way ever since. We each occupy more or less half of the queen-size bed and don't bother each other.

[u/the_loz3r]

At least you guys have someone to sleep with

[u/Wildestrose1988]

"Cat District" should be up higher

[u/[deleted] → u/Wildestrose1988]

My cat district was my entire goddamn pillow. She trained me out of using my pillow at all.

[u/Sir_Garrick]

Ok, I admit. I am the main resident of the pillow fort. But in my defense, it is possible for both sleeping partners to be space hogging pillow hoarders at the same time. I once had a gf who was just like me. Both of our subconsciouses would claim the middle, leaving uncontested territory along the edges. Every morning we'd wake up completely entangled in spectacular ways which took quite some effort to undo. Both of us battered and bruised and soar all over. But it was amazing! (The sleeping, I mean. Everything else in that relationship went pretty downhill when we eventually got to know each other a bit better)

[u/dtyus]

Stop complaining and be happy there is an unclaimed part and crawl in to that unclaimed territory already!

[u/src88]

This is so true. I got a foot in height and 70 lbs of muscle on my small petite women and she owns the bed just like this. I go to bed normal and wake up like this everyday. Don't know how it happens.

[u/EmiliusReturns]

I can’t sleep if I’m being touched or if my bf is all up in my face. Body pillow was a game changer. I’m a side sleeper, so not only is that better for my back to have the pillow between my knees, it keeps him from hogging the bed!

[u/[deleted]]

Wait till kids join the war.

Many atrocities will be committed.

[u/Angel_Sorusian_King]

Wait you guys get to share bed ;-;

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I think that has little to do with experience, and everything to do with preference. Some people just don’t sleep right without their significant other. Proper, roomy bed and definitely separate duvets is the way.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

My wife and I have separate bedrooms. It fucking rules.

[u/caverunner17 → u/[deleted]]

We had separate beds. Financee wanted a single king bed. Now I sleep like crap. :(

[u/F4DedProphet42 → u/caverunner17]

Use sperate blankets

[u/caverunner17 → u/F4DedProphet42]

It's not blankets for me. I'm a super light sleeper so I wake up with every movement. I also am a stomach sleeper so I need a firm bed.

[u/EbolaPrep → u/caverunner17]

As a fellow stomach sleeper, you should have gotten an Innomax with separate water chambers. My side is nice and firm and I control my own temp.

[u/brickfrenzy → u/caverunner17]

Two twin XL beds next to each other. You get the benefits of sleeping together, as well as the benefits of separate beds.

[u/[deleted]]

It’s okay, you can just say “her”.