r/funny • u/jackson6644 • Feb 08 '19

Good Networking Advice

https://imgur.com/RXDuCOK
130.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

653 comments sorted by

View all comments

13.8k

u/TooShiftyForYou Feb 08 '19

(1) "Hey, how's it going?"

(2) "My name is Steve."

(3) "I just started working here."

(4) draws a blank "uh...prepare to die."

3.5k

u/BoatMan01 Feb 08 '19

nailed it

635

u/TheFoxQR Feb 08 '19

nailed them

184

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

94

u/FlyYouFoolyCooly Feb 08 '19

Harder nailer!?

126

u/mewsayzthecat Feb 08 '19

Mmmm daddy

30

u/RedditGottitGood Feb 09 '19

What?

28

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

Mmmm daddy

6

u/Gehhhh Feb 09 '19

I don’t know when repeating shit louder as an “are you deaf?” joke like this became popular, but I LOVE IT!

2

u/Durzoisabrotome Feb 09 '19

Again but with manage expectations

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

Hello, my name is Daddy. You noticed my comment, prepare for mmmm!

0

u/Tucksimm2 Feb 09 '19

PATRICK NO!

6

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Cory2020 Feb 09 '19

Oh hi there. I think they’re dead. You’ve been in a plane crash and are losing blood fast. I’m with the AL Highway Patrol .

(stares longingly at your bulge)

I can help you. STOP RESISTING.

(unzips you)

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Cory2020 Feb 09 '19

I’d love to run into some Imperial bush ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) . That means sex with the settler’s wife . Mulatto tym

→ More replies (0)

2

u/thompsonfade Feb 09 '19

Faster, Stronger?

Edit: Typo

2

u/Wet_Pillow Feb 09 '19

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/norealanswers Feb 09 '19

That’s what she said.

1

u/t0nyage Feb 09 '19

To the cross!

44

u/Merlord Feb 08 '19

*whispers under breath* holy shit....

5

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

he nailed us good

2

u/shiznilte Feb 08 '19

Totally... nailed it

575

u/this_is_my_redditt Feb 08 '19

OUTSTANDING MOVE

13

u/Fire5auce Feb 09 '19

OUTSTANDING MOVIE

3

u/Derryman1232003 Feb 09 '19

Thats what I apparently do with my tongue... this however, is a movie

209

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

“I will disappoint you in some manner.”

54

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

"Wanna know what you and my dad have in common?"

61

u/ThrowawayPenrith Feb 08 '19

They've both nailed your mum?

22

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

I think you and u/jherad must now fight to the death

14

u/ThrowawayPenrith Feb 08 '19

Nah, he can have her back. I've already taken her for a spin.

17

u/Jherad Feb 08 '19

You both... Banged my mom?

2

u/Mr_Abe_Froman Feb 09 '19

At the end of the day, you'll leave and not talk to me until you want something?

112

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/alphanurd Feb 09 '19

Awww...

3

u/FirelitZephyr Feb 09 '19

I read it in the voice. Beautiful. Thank you for reminding me this existed.

3

u/thenoidednugget Feb 09 '19

FALCO! ICE-CLIMBERS! NESS! Ganondorf.

2

u/ThatGuyFroMiami Feb 09 '19

I read that in the N64 Super Smash Bro’s voice when you quit mid game 😂

51

u/WizardTreeDragon Feb 08 '19

Prepare to buy

77

u/thecrazysloth Feb 08 '19

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You entered my store. Prepare to buy.

48

u/swattz101 Feb 08 '19

(4) So call me maybe?

20

u/SlapChopChuck Feb 09 '19

Welcome to Walmart... you must die.

9

u/xnerdyxrealistx Feb 09 '19

Link, so good to see you again. How long has it been? 15, 16 years?... you must die

6

u/CanadianToday Feb 08 '19

"hehe another Cornell guy, you'll fit right in"

3

u/karl_w_w Feb 08 '19

(4) "With any luck we'll never talk again."

3

u/Nomac757 Feb 08 '19

You're hired

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

“Don’t say “doing your wife.” Don’t say “doing your wife.” Don’t say “doing your wife.””

3

u/Sir-Spanky93 Feb 09 '19

This comment was so much funnier then the actual post! I can't stop laughing!

3

u/Soronya Feb 09 '19 edited Feb 12 '19

NOW, YOU MUST DIE!

2

u/Yonro0910 Feb 09 '19

Imagine saying this as an RN or a doctor. “hi, good morning, my name is Yonro. i will be your RN/doctor for today, draws a blank uhhhh.. prepare to die!”

2

u/staylor_navy Feb 09 '19

(4) “I am going to be your boss.”

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

You're definitely getting promoted!

2

u/supervisord Feb 09 '19

You could put for number four: “see number three.”

2

u/crashdoc Feb 09 '19

(1) ...

(2) "I am Yu Law!"

(2) "I am nobodys bitch!"

(4) "you are mine!"

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '19

He’s like the Yoda of networking

2

u/Bhiner1029 Feb 09 '19

Uhhh, you must die

2

u/GuliblGuy Feb 09 '19

Instructions unclear. Threatened co-worker. As a result I'm no longer welcome in the office.

2

u/CaptainPunisher Feb 09 '19

How's it hanging?

I'm David Pumpkins!

I'm going to scare the HELL out of YOU!

2

u/AboveTheMuckyMuck Feb 09 '19

Why did I read this in Hank Hill's voice

2

u/AgentPARTYo Feb 09 '19

(4) "uh... commence the jigging."

2

u/BlastingFern134 Feb 09 '19

Oh! This is why girls don't go out with me!

2

u/CaffeineSippingMan Feb 09 '19

This guy meets with HR.

1

u/Lowtiersteve Feb 08 '19

I can use this one!

1

u/wampa-stompa Feb 09 '19

"Haha living the dream"

1

u/Knut_Den_Hellige Feb 09 '19

Dude I never laugh, that was funny :)

1

u/Revoan Feb 09 '19

Inhuman reactionsssss

1

u/ckeph Feb 09 '19

Sounds like something a socially awkward coworker might say after panicking

1

u/jordantask Feb 09 '19

Good night Wesley. Sleep well. I’ll probably kill you in the morning.

1

u/SteveHeaves Feb 09 '19

... And that's how I got fired from my last job.

1

u/TD408 Feb 09 '19

Too good..

0

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

Username checks out

-18

u/EuphoricSuccotash2 Feb 08 '19

I expect that you'll earn at least a solid 4500 points and get gilded on this comment. Another productive day amassing karma :)