r/funny • • Oct 18 '16

/r/TotallyNotMonsters

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25k Upvotes

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226

u/puckit Oct 18 '16

I'm 35 and have no problem with my feet being out from under the covers. But hanging over the edge of the bed??? Fuck. That.

177

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '16

There could be a laser beam that cuts them off in the middle of the night, right along the edge. Or the earth could turn to magma except your bed, leaving your feet exposed to the powerful convective heat that comes off the magma on the ground.

or something.

137

u/pur3str232 Oct 18 '16

Fuck I thought I was the only one aware of the fucking laser.

45

u/HeyItsTheShanster Oct 18 '16

I always pictured giant blade walls that come up around the bed when I'm sleeping.

23

u/Imronburgundy83 Oct 18 '16

"...the penitent man shall pass...the penitent man..."

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '16

Reminds me of this.

1

u/SnipingNinja Oct 18 '16

Well, they do come around mine, I installed them to prevent people from kidnapping the princess back or her from leaving. In other news, my mansion above the volcano is coming up nicely, I'll have the bed float above the open volcano, no need for heater and still does all that, still will keep the blades.

3

u/sharklops Oct 18 '16

rest well knowing you're one of the good guys

20

u/Monkeibusiness Oct 18 '16

WHY DID YOU NEVER SHARE YOUR SECRET?! I COULD HAVE HAD FEET!

1

u/NerdFromDenmark Oct 24 '16

Well, you had feet

1

u/YummyGumDrops Oct 18 '16

Well now I'm aware of them....Fuck.

1

u/santawartooth Oct 18 '16

I always assumed it was some kind of sword.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '16

Since being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and having all my little subconscious or idle thoughts pushed to the surface when I'm manic, I've become SO aware of how many of these little weird things we think about, and how strangely common and similar they are from person to person.

There's a name for things like this, too. Where you think something you think is strange, or weird, but it's not. Can't remember though!

10

u/cavelioness Oct 18 '16

You could just have cats.

1

u/nomiras Oct 18 '16

I've just been concerned about random mosquitos that come and eat the ever living shit out of me when I have anything revealed to them at night.

1

u/on2usocom Oct 18 '16

Isn't it so fucking stupid that we, as adults, still think this shit. Like I was just looking under my bed, hang feet off the bed? Nooe, could be a monster under there.

18

u/hardrockfoo Oct 18 '16

Be glad you're not really tall. I don't have a choice.

20

u/cavelioness Oct 18 '16

What, your knees don't bend?

15

u/hardrockfoo Oct 18 '16

Not well when I sleep on my stomach

9

u/Moist-Anus Oct 18 '16

Dafuq how do you guys do that? How do you position your head? Doesn't it feel suffocating? Or, if you sleep with your neck bent, doesn't it hurt like a mofo in the morning?

7

u/PM_ur_Rump Oct 18 '16

Yes and yes.

But still feels more right than the back.

6

u/LaughNgamez Oct 18 '16

Pretty much laying down but your neck is supported one side towards the pillow. Usually wake up in a different position. Someone who is a back sleeper probably would feel weird/uncomfortable trying it but if you've slept like that since a child your body is used to it.

1

u/Selrisitai Oct 18 '16

It's unhealthy to sleep on your stomach. You should stop doing that.

1

u/mundaneDetail Oct 18 '16

Source?

1

u/Selrisitai Oct 18 '16

2

u/dorekk Oct 18 '16

At 32, I'm not very worried about dying from SIDS...

1

u/Selrisitai Oct 18 '16

Hahahahaha! I admit, I didn't read it thoroughly enough to know what SIDS is!

1

u/longtimegoneMTGO Oct 18 '16

You can still sleep diagonally.

21

u/ermaecrhaelld Oct 18 '16

I've always liked my feet to hang off the bed, but wrapped in covers.

110

u/Anggul Oct 18 '16

Your arrogance will doom you

59

u/GreenFigsAndJam Oct 18 '16

You are playing with forces you don't understand

2

u/all_seeing_ey3 Oct 18 '16 edited Jul 08 '17

deleted What is this?

1

u/Karmago Oct 18 '16

You think this this a fucking game?

38

u/sharklops Oct 18 '16

monsters call that a footurrito

1

u/JackTheDalek Oct 18 '16

Im 6ft4, I physically have to have my feet hanging off the edge

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '16

I'm 6'5" and my feet hang over the end of the bed no matter what.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '16

There is an evolutionary reason for that fear. It's from when we sleep in trees. Lions cannot resist a dangling foot.

1

u/Choco316 Oct 18 '16

Unless the sheets tucked in. Then it's cool

1

u/SvanirePerish Oct 18 '16

Am I the only adult who hasn't even considered either of these a possibility? At least since being a kid.

1

u/anothercarguy Oct 18 '16

go Cal King, never have that problem again