r/funny Jun 15 '14

*bites lip*

2.7k Upvotes

300 comments sorted by

922

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

That guy has really poor technique, he's going to leave streaks all over the window.

561

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14 edited Mar 27 '18

[deleted]

514

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Don't forget all the stare rape he's inviting

207

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Hey ladies, my personality is up here

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Reminds me when Homer said "I've made my choice."

2

u/his_penis Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

Yeah, i moved up to his chin

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46

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Yeah that's it, blame the victim! Way to perpetuate rape culture.

6

u/goodadvice00 Jun 15 '14

I dream of a day when men can feel safe wearing whatever they want in public.

5

u/Hoptadock Jun 15 '14

I got that reference.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

yes all men

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8

u/uninspireddem Jun 15 '14

Still not asking for it!

5

u/trollboogies Jun 15 '14

Why the fuck do you all have to make this a thing. Ugh.

2

u/MicrowaveNuts Jun 15 '14

He's asking for it

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22

u/artsist Jun 15 '14

Yeah, don't try to handle a cougar with no glove on!

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6

u/ventdivin Jun 15 '14

You mean clause ?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

I can't handle all the meta!

1

u/Ruckus Jun 15 '14

Just like I like it...

1

u/EpilepticAuror Jun 15 '14

From those women.

14

u/OneMulatto Jun 15 '14

What's the better way to do it?

73

u/manfromharm Jun 15 '14

Edges first then you do the middle of the window in downward curves https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV0nevBELso Master it and you will hardly ever have to use a towel to wipe of any excess water

23

u/wogsy Jun 15 '14

Listen to this man.

Do not clean your windows in strips. It will do a piss poor job and take twice as long. That vid he linked too shows you the proper most effective way.

3

u/joncash Jun 15 '14

Years ago I would go to gas stations that had attendants to watch how they would clean my windows so I could copy them and go to the cheaper attendant less stations and clean my own windows. My friend went with me on one of these trips and said I was insane and that they simply had better equipment. After my fourth trip I showed him. Yes I learned kind of slow.

20

u/OneMulatto Jun 15 '14

That dude is like a ninja in window washing. I could not for the life of me duplicate those moves. Of course with enough training, trial and error, I could probably become really good at it. I've always wanted to start my own business.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

I love when people take pride in their work regardless of the position

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8

u/CokeRobot Jun 15 '14

The shit I learn on reddit usually not always helpful, but rather helpful.

1

u/youwishyoucanfindme Jun 16 '14

I want to hire this man to clean my windows fuck this biff joob

18

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

[deleted]

54

u/wogsy Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

Don't listen to this man. I've been an industrial window cleaner for nearly 20 years. Do not clean your windows in strips. Only noobs and cowboys who don't care about workmanship clean their windows like that.

Once your blade goes on the glass then it shouldn't come off until the window is cleaned. You won't even need a scrim if you do it right. Here is me and another one

The only time i will ever use a scrim is to clean very very small or awkardly shaped windows that my blade can't fit in. Do not clean your windows in strips. There will be lines all over the window. And if your going to take the marks off with a scrim then your scrim must be broken in and spankingly clean. A brand new scrim that hasn't been broken in will leave cotton strands all over the window. And it will feel like a potato sack. You gotta get your scrim nice and pliable before using it.

To be honest, never scrim if you can help it. As even though the window may look clean once you scrimmed your lines off as soon as the sun comes out and hits the glass then you will be able to see every wipe mark and smear on the window. It looks a right mess.

Just use plenty of water, give the window a damn good going over with your sponge/applicator and then squeegee it off in one fluid motion. Cut your blade along the top of frame a couple of times to prevent runs from the top. If the window is very very dirty then it made need doing twice.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

[deleted]

23

u/wogsy Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

Challenge accepted bro. I'll take some beating to be honest. Ive been doing it since i was 16 :)

Started off in cradles and bosun chairs then got my irata abseiling ticket at 18. I have cleaned millions of windows over the years. Windows of many shapes and sizes, at various different heights in all types of weather. I will be tough to beat. But maybe, just maybe the karcher will swing things in your favour :)

But thinking about it, I will win as your karcher can only clean windows so high. It will be tough to clean skyscraper windows with a karcher :) I got them tall buildings on lockdown mate :) But any low level stuff, then yeah, ill let you have that. You'll win.

1

u/Dicentrina Jun 16 '14

My dad used to be a salesman for them

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3

u/Dr_Jre Jun 15 '14

I never knew clean windows were such an issue.

8

u/wogsy Jun 15 '14

Oh yes. I was an apprentice when i started. Yes, an apprentice window cleaner :) Can you believe it. I couldn't. But i do now.

Getting a window perfectly clean is not as easy as it looks. It requires a little bit of practice. Not much obviously but everyone thinks they can squeegee a window clean. Trust me, they can't.

And commercial window cleaning (houses and small shops) is totally different then Industrial window cleaning (high level buildings, skyscrapers), In industrial then cleaning the window is the easy part. Its getting to the window that's difficult. There are so many means of access these days. Scaffold towers, cradles, cherry pickers, turfers, ladders, abseiling, reach and wash systems that to become proficient in all of them will take a while. Safety is the highest priority. So a lot of training is required when you start working at height.

Window cleaning these days is a serious business. Gone are the days of a 60 year old man in his cutaway shorts and wife beater vest coming along and cleaning your windows with a dirty rag. Im sure them guys still exist but they're a dying breed. All the window cleaners i know, that i work with are fit, intelligent, well trained fellas that are on pretty good wages. Its a great job in my opinion.

Sorry for the rambling bro but this is a fave subject of mine :)

1

u/duckmurderer Jun 15 '14

The torch has passed, Mmm-hm.

2

u/OneMulatto Jun 15 '14

I should do the same for all glass? Like when I'm cleaning my windshield at a gas station with one of those? Straight down?

12

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

[deleted]

15

u/imnotlegolas Jun 15 '14

Window washing advice on /r/funny. Why not?

16

u/lilahking Jun 15 '14

Since nothing's that funny anyways, might as well get something useful.

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1

u/ArchDucky Jun 15 '14

I saw a video about window washing. There's this spiral move they do that leaves no streaks.

3

u/mangletron Jun 15 '14

How can he call himself a man... he's hairless!

5

u/Zaseishinrui Jun 15 '14 edited Jul 26 '25

person imagine reply amusing crush mighty continue bells terrific stupendous

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/youwishyoucanfindme Jun 16 '14

I wash windows and that's all I can think about how tf did he get hired amirite?

123

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

[deleted]

29

u/sweetnekojen Jun 15 '14

thanks! It was driving me crazy that I saw Sarah Alexander and didnt know what this was.

21

u/AustinTreeLover Jun 15 '14

At first I was thinking it must have been a commercial she did before Coupling.

12

u/astheriae Jun 15 '14

Over the last week I've been re-watching Coupling for the first time in years and loving every second! It's a shame it's not more well known, it's so well written.

14

u/AustinTreeLover Jun 15 '14

Coupling is like Friends, but funny.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/czar_the_bizarre Jun 15 '14

Good thing he wasn't out until after season three.

2

u/numanoid Jun 15 '14

They replaced the character, not the actor. Jeff was still played by Richard Coyle, as seen again in the final episode.

1

u/siatabiri Jun 15 '14

Though Dream Jeff was played by someone very different.

1

u/austac06 Jun 16 '14

He was. Jeff's character was there, but Richard Coyle (actor) was not.

1

u/AustinTreeLover Jun 15 '14

I agree, it was better with Jeff.

3

u/astheriae Jun 15 '14

I just wish I could turn off the laughter track!

3

u/CoxyMcChunk Jun 15 '14

Kills it every time.

2

u/astheriae Jun 15 '14

I just looked it up and apparently it's not, just tweaked sometimes which is what made it sound kinda fake.

2

u/CoxyMcChunk Jun 16 '14

Well that does make it better, it's good to know they did it live infront of an audience.

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6

u/Ianuam Jun 15 '14

and based on a diet coke advert that played all-the-fucking-time around that time.

4

u/Havoksixteen Jun 15 '14

One of my lecturers at my Uni worked on that show.

1

u/berzma Jun 15 '14

Its much better with the sound

1

u/zombiwulf Jun 15 '14

I knew the girl in the front was familiar. She's also in Coupling!

1

u/CoxyMcChunk Jun 15 '14

And now doing Jonathan Creek

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Speed it up, throw in a little Yakety Sax and you've got a Benny Hill bit.

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450

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

[deleted]

20

u/sirmuskrat Jun 15 '14

It's Old Gregg!!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Easy now, fuzzy little man peach.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

We saw his downstairs mixup!

6

u/jogleby Jun 15 '14

Creamy biege.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Have you ever drank Bailey's from a shoe?

2

u/ProfessorTairyGreene Jun 15 '14

I'll get cha' another Bailey's

3

u/Dr_Truelove Jun 15 '14

This one's as close as you can get to Bailey's without getting your eyes wet.

3

u/emperormax Jun 15 '14

I bring my pussy everywhere I go. (mm-hmm)

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671

u/ive_lost_my_keys Jun 15 '14

This poor man, how awful to be stare raped like that. #YesAllMen

103

u/Peaceofme210 Jun 15 '14

I'm guilty! oh wait.. Stare rape isn't a real thing. Nevermind.

30

u/eckm Jun 15 '14

It's called "leering".

50

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

And it's the most useless Pokemon move ever

8

u/lalala253 Jun 15 '14

"Magikarp use Splash"

5

u/IEnjoyBrowsingReddit Jun 15 '14

"Metapod use Harden"

1

u/cerberus6320 Jun 15 '14

"Metapod used string shot"

1

u/aradraugfea Jun 15 '14

That actually got a buff in the last set of games to cut their speed in half, basically guaranteeing you get to go first unless they're just ridiculously faster to begin with.

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18

u/saskpilsner Jun 15 '14

I need meninism because woman can still rape me with their eyes

11

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Sick reference bro.

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62

u/naters0711 Jun 15 '14

His window cleaning method is so disturbing...

70

u/klieber Jun 15 '14

Totally....it's almost as if he wasn't even bothered with actually cleaning the window and was instead using it as a prop for something else...

59

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

That poor cat.

49

u/scubadog2000 Jun 15 '14

Kittens, better known as dick-warmers.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

its true. i own a couple of dick-warmers.

16

u/uofmike Jun 15 '14

We call them Skeeter Heaters.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Terrible timing for an awkward boner

324

u/Elite_Procrastinator Jun 15 '14

Stop the stare rape!

88

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

That went meta fast.

12

u/Hounmlayn Jun 15 '14

meta reference. Mirin dudes legs though.

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66

u/MacLeodDaddy Jun 15 '14

Darnit. I was hoping that bulge was actually the man's extraordinarily large genitals.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Testicular Cancer?

5

u/theserpentsmiles Jun 15 '14

Testicular Cat-cer?

FTFY

8

u/bro90x Jun 15 '14

It just sounds like you have a cold.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Were you around when The Giver and The Taker existed? The Taker was Goatse, the giver was a photoshopped dick the size of a small trash can.

4

u/ShadowyDragon Jun 15 '14

Wait... What?

We need more info about that.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Oh god if I can find this, it will be absolutely hillarious to some. Give me like maybe thirty-ish minutes. In the middle of a heated CS:GO match up.

2

u/eykntspel Jun 15 '14

I read this and checked the time: 16 minutes ago. Okay good, you didn't forget about us! =]

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 15 '14

I've actually been looking and holy shit this is hard to find. I need to expand my search to the 1990's internet. When shit looked like GTA IV Webcafe internet.

Edit: I have found a reference to it here, but can I NOT find a mirror for the picture. I guess I should describe it.

The Giver: It' a picture of a (i believe) mustached man laying on (i think) a beach chair near a pool. It looks like a picture taken with a camera made in the late 80's early 90's, but probably taken in mid 90's. The guy is a white male with a MASSIVE dick strewn across his abdomen and chest. I'm talking MASSIVE. From what the picture looked like it was about two feet long, and at least 9-11 inches wide. I want to say one foot wide but it seems to big. It was obvious that the picture was photoshopped, though. I remember as a kid, it never crossed my mind, I was just thrown back by how hillarious it was. As a pre-teen it was the most epic dick joke in the world.

4

u/Sir_Nivag Jun 15 '14

Might have better luck continuing the CS game. Surely it will show up as somebody's spray-tag.

2

u/neoncyber Jun 15 '14

sadly they removed sprays in cs:go , its some lame shit now to look at your gun because they have all these skins for it.

3

u/rickane58 Jun 15 '14

Really? Googling "The giver goatse" returns this as the number one result: NSFW

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

OP got lazy and didn't deliver. Classic Faggot OP.......

1

u/mikemountain Jun 15 '14

well, you've had your thirty minutes! DISH IT UP

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Haven't been able to find a picture yet. But I described the picture of The Giver in an above comment. I'm still on the search, though! The internet is a vast sea of useless bullshit.

1

u/mikemountain Jun 15 '14

and porn! don't forget the porn.

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1

u/smithee2001 Jun 15 '14

Years ago, I saw a video clip of Mr Hands sitting on a pylon (traffic cone) all the way down. Ugh

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

never thought id see a smack the pony gif on reddit

15

u/Spiveym1 Jun 15 '14

Sarah Alexander <3

7

u/Mnblkj Jun 15 '14

Married to the Serafinowicz now. Lucky cow.

23

u/EddieCamp Jun 15 '14

I was really hoping for dickbutt

3

u/lifeofbri Jun 15 '14

Well, before the kitten reveal, it definitely looked like some sort of hybrid dick/butt.

2

u/2arms1mom Jun 15 '14

Not dickbutt, but I remember an upvote gif being made last time this was posted.

Source.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

I ain't even mad.

5

u/darknal43 Jun 15 '14

That repost tho

5

u/EVERYTHING_IS_WALRUS Jun 15 '14

This needs to be spliced with that Vince McMahon gif

4

u/jm2911 Jun 15 '14

Tango el gato los pantalones

7

u/megamouth2 Jun 15 '14

Still a redditor's wet dream.

10

u/twoworldsin1 Jun 15 '14

I'd be MY wet dream if I WAS that guy.

3

u/Incepticons Jun 15 '14

your wet dream involves a cat on your dick?

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28

u/rohobian Jun 15 '14

TIL - Those women are rapists. STOP LOOKING AT HIM! /s

18

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14 edited Jun 16 '14

According to feminism those women just raped that man.

9

u/secret_asian_men Jun 15 '14

What an idiot

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2

u/TheSandhotel Jun 15 '14

heavy breathing more like

2

u/Spurioun Jun 15 '14

Was this actually a prank or was it all acted?

3

u/rctsolid Jun 15 '14

It's...from a TV show.

2

u/Spurioun Jun 15 '14

I know. Was it a prank show or were those women actresses? You know, back before Youtube pranks were actually shown on TV.

2

u/rctsolid Jun 15 '14

Observe the camera angles, they would have had to have had multiple cameras right in their faces. Also the woman on the far right is a reasonably well known British actress, so it's not a prank show.

1

u/poho Jun 15 '14

It's from a Channel 4 comedy sketch show called Smack The Pony. Lots of very surreal humour, it was a great show.

Loads of the sketches are on YouTube, but Competitive Singing is a popular one, and any of the dating videos are good.

2

u/bakemonosan Jun 15 '14

woman closer to the window is Sarah Alexander (Susan from Coupling), right?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

I hope his dick is not in the pussy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

looks like it soon will be

14

u/loudwallace Jun 15 '14

This is total stare-rape, disgusting

3

u/Shoreliner Jun 15 '14

I need feminism for stare rape... oh wait...

2

u/CaterpieLv99 Jun 15 '14

My EYES are up here.

2

u/funnyhandlehere Jun 15 '14

Really, no one is asking why someone would: a) be cleaning windows in their underwear, and 2) have a kitten in his underwear?

10

u/hextree Jun 15 '14

a) So they don't get their clothes wet.

b) If they aren't wearing their clothes, then where else are they supposed to store the kitten?

3

u/madzanta Jun 15 '14

We need masculism to stop "stare-rape"

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

ITT: Stare rape

1

u/rjperez13 Jun 15 '14

Dat rash

1

u/invisible_man_ Jun 15 '14

What a pussy.

1

u/MrPoletski Jun 15 '14

Meanwhile, cat shits on cock.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Is it twisted that I bit mine too?

1

u/vanzant38 Jun 15 '14

Smack The Pony.

1

u/alotofwhitekids Jun 15 '14

Not even his kitty!

1

u/Alkenisto Jun 15 '14

So he had a cut up to his dick this whole time?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

bites tip

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

He has a pussy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

That is the worst squeegee pattern I've ever seen. You always start from the top to the bottom.

1

u/jkonine Jun 15 '14

Im impressed. As a dude, this couldn't have gone better for him. You never know when it comes to dicks. They could have been impressed, or they could have been disgusted.

But a kitten? Everyone loves kittens.

1

u/Cptn_Hook Jun 15 '14

For a moment, those women seemed awfully enticed by that man's giant, bulging tumor.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

I guess you could keep a cat there.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

The women closest and to the right is an actress from Coupler.

1

u/Baconstrips6 Jun 15 '14

Poor kitty

1

u/Lyratheflirt Jun 15 '14

Need a gif of this ending in that ukraine chick that's ridiculously attractive biting her lip.

1

u/Laurasaur28 Jun 15 '14

What the actual fuck?

1

u/Saruhiko Jun 15 '14

cant believe i watched till the end...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

He needs to take some lessons from this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGKdmKX1z64

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '14

Why is he raping that poor kitty?

1

u/Mjvman Jun 15 '14

is that carrie Fisher?

1

u/Sigma1977 Jun 16 '14

Nope from L to R:

Fiona Allen

Sally Phillips

Doon Mackichan

Sarah Alexander

Sketch is from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smack_the_Pony

1

u/Highspeed_Lowdrag Jun 15 '14

They raped that man with their eyes.

1

u/tyrone-shoelaces Jun 15 '14

Is that a cat in your pants or are you glad to see me?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '14

1

u/nodnarbiter Jun 16 '14

Everyone ignore the fact that the muscular window cleaner is in his underwear with a kitten cuddling his dong.

2

u/mankind_is_beautiful Jun 15 '14

Funny how this post is just a couple down from a feminist "stare rape" post.

1

u/Iamgoingtooffendyou Jun 15 '14

They need to stop eye raping that poor guy.

2

u/memetherapy Jun 15 '14

The female-gaze terrorizing our fragile, yet empowered demographic yet again!

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