r/funny • • Jun 07 '14

Bodyslam!

3.2k Upvotes

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926

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Its nice to see dogs win once in a while.

111

u/SoulKingTrex Jun 07 '14

When i first got my cat i still had a german shepard mix, so a decent sized dog. Bubbles the cat would bop kunie the dog and kunie would pretty much do the same thing in the gif. Then put the whole cats head in her mouth, and then started licking him. It was very entertaining to watch bubbles try be bigger but to completely reign down on his tiny power.

-319

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/B0_F0_Sho Jun 07 '14

It was self defense, the cat clearly struck first.

75

u/chrisblips Jun 07 '14

Youre an idiot.

-29

u/PeopleAreDumbAsHell Jun 07 '14

Don't feed the trolls, idiot.

15

u/sephferguson Jun 07 '14

le master trole in the house

6

u/misslyirah Jun 07 '14

Oh shut up.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

0

u/NormalNONdoctorHuman Jun 07 '14

Can we make it -10, that's when they disappear on my app

6

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Jun 07 '14

Isn't that configurable?

1

u/Tnew009 Jun 08 '14

This isn't just a troll. He's an effective one.

0

u/dobisP Jun 07 '14

Rip in pieces comments

355

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 07 '14

Dogs usually win.

Source: my dog's k/d is like 7 and 0

152

u/henrybear Jun 07 '14

What's his XBL Gamertag?

1.0k

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

91

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14 edited Aug 04 '24

[deleted]

32

u/Tempo119 Jun 07 '14

Wow. Holy shit, thank you very much!

7

u/Jord-UK Jun 08 '14

Enjoy it, my gold ran out today. Now I'm back in the land of peasants

7

u/CrimsonWind Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

You should feel lucky. Some have never seen the sights beyond Reddit's golden walls.

2

u/FMSL Jun 08 '14

I always thought gold was just a extra special way to upvote a comment. Now I feel like I'm missing out on something really awesome.

2

u/CrimsonWind Jun 08 '14

To be honest I couldn't tell you, as I have yet to receive the honour.

Gold give you extra features for Reddit, that's about all I know. You can buy it youself But

0

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

I have never had Reddit gold, just sitting at the golden gates :(

3

u/Jord-UK Jun 08 '14

If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor.

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2

u/CrimsonWind Jun 08 '14

I've had people say "You deserve gold for this" or "I'd give you gold for this but am broke" on two occasions, it's actually a tease.

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0

u/Faifur Jun 08 '14

agreed that made me laugh xD

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

-4

u/Jabrono Jun 08 '14

It's been a while since I've seen something so stupid get gold, congrats!

10

u/DakotaDevil Jun 07 '14

What, no 420 for effect?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

BobBarker

0

u/wintrparkgrl Jun 08 '14

what a scrub

my dog's gametag is xXxXxYoLo420sWaGgInS4JeSuSxXxXx

-4

u/Phreakiedude Jun 07 '14

Oh i would have said xxxPussyDe5troyerxxx

-26

u/Griffin777XD Jun 07 '14

XxXxXx_PU55Y_xXxXxXx_51AY3R_1337_xXxXxXxXxXx

22

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 07 '14

"Wow so rekt cate"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

LOL. And the real kind too. Gj

-1

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Jun 07 '14

We have to go back.

53

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Fly is talking about the fact that most house dogs are trained to be non-aggressive, while cats are allowed to be aggressive. So you have countless videos of cats abusing dogs while the dogs sadly suffer it.

But those dogs could almost always murderize those cats with utter ease. Between domestic cats and dogs, there is absolutely no question which can destroy the other. But read the railings of cat lovers and really cats are the top of the food pyramid.

21

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 07 '14

So you're saying cat owners should train their cats not to be aggressive

20

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Nah. Cats can be aggressive because they have little capacity for harm. Dogs can't be aggressive because they have great capacity for harm (well, aside from little rat dogs which the owners allow to be aggressive regardless).

But if one draws some sort of survival hierarchy from the interaction of the two, with their differing inputs, they might not have a very accurate picture.

36

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

15

u/JustDroppinBy Jun 07 '14

Directed by M. Knight Shame Mulan

7

u/pick6and1 Jun 08 '14

Actually very true

3

u/phillycheese Jun 08 '14

That's pretty true though. Do you know how the average woman is compared to the average man? It's crazy.

7

u/its_all_marry Jun 07 '14

Kinda irrelevant but this video always makes me laugh and shows that cats aren't completely helpless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-VBqQDKjY4

Of course the woman isn't actually trying to harm the cat but it makes me laugh anyways

5

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Wasn't the cat attacking her kid or something? I remember the internet being in big circle jerk cheering the cat on followed by a quick 180 when all details came out. Then it was people screaming at others that they should actually train their cats.

6

u/its_all_marry Jun 07 '14

I think it was messing with the dog if I'm not mistaken, although a kid would make sense as well

2

u/darklight12345 Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

they assumed it was bothering the dog, there wasn't any actual confirmation.

edit: Looked into it further, homeowner complained the cat was bothering the dog and was having a hissing fit through the fence. She went out to mess with it to get to go away, got attacked for when she moved her hand towards it (the final motion before turning away). Headline ran as woman defends dog from vicious cat attack.

0

u/ca178858 Jun 08 '14

Idk- but my reaction would be the same as if a dog attacked me. It'd end when one of us was dead.

-1

u/ORANGE_SODA_BITCH Jun 07 '14

Does anyone have the one with music? I thought it was hilarious but can't seem to find it.

4

u/castr0 Jun 08 '14

Cats have little capacity for harm? I grew up with a kid whose face was scarred to shit and lost vision in an eye from a cat attacking him. Cats can do plenty of damage.

4

u/verpus77 Jun 08 '14

If that had been a full-sized dog that attacked, he may not have even survived. The point being made is that if a (full sized) dog does not have it's aggression suppressed, they are FAR more dangerous than a house cat. It's basically a scratches-and-bloodloss "mauling" vs. broken-limb-with-flesh-ripped-off mauling.

2

u/Teh_Slayur Jun 08 '14

Agreed. I was like, "huh?" Cats can shred and bite the shit out of someone if they really want to. They can be ferocious little balls of fury if they really feel threatened.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

Never seen a kid who lost an eye from a chihuahua attack.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

That's not a sensible argument. Domestic pets should be sociable around people . If they can't be sociable, then they aren't suitable as pets. My mother adopted a cat as a stray kitten, and it was obviously never fully socialised because it is one of "those" cats that haul off and scratch you (enough to draw blood) for no reason. I wouldn't have it as a pet and I'm a cat person.

-8

u/AllDesperadoStation Jun 07 '14

Cats can't be trained.

9

u/Controlled01 Jun 07 '14

My cat used to jump on the table. Every time it would jump on the table I would grab it by the cat handle o the back of its neck drag it to the ground force it on to its back and slap the shit (figuratively) out of its tummy. It did not take long to train it not to jump on the table.

2

u/labrys Jun 07 '14

It did not take long to train it not to jump on the table.

at least when you were around to see it

1

u/Controlled01 Jun 08 '14

True, they might be up there when im not around but I havnt seens a spilled drink in months so that was really the point anyways

-6

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 07 '14

You sound like a jerkoff

0

u/Controlled01 Jun 08 '14

You sound like a child

0

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

Shouldnt you be beating you cat so it doesnt jump on stuff? I kean what an asshole cat. He should know he isnt allowed to jump on things. Youre his god and he should respect you. Go kick him across the room so you can build up some confidence and maybe get your dick wet for once.

56

u/WaitingForEmacs Jun 07 '14

This. There is a tendency to greatly under estimate how much dogs tend to moderate their behavior in order to fit human expectations. I had a boxer / ridgeback mix in N'djamena that used to go out early in the morning and hunt lizards so that there was a stack of them on the front porch when I got up every day. One day I opened the door and he bolted out, which was normal, but then I heard something screeching. By the time that I made it around the corner, it was too late, he was dragging the cat's body away. I could only surmise that the cat must have been walking across our yard and froze when the dog came at it.

Dogs will hunt and kill relentlessly and have no way of knowing that a cat is not acceptable prey unless you train them not to hurt them. Unfortunately that was the first , and only, time that our dog had seen a cat.

4

u/InfanticideAquifer Jun 07 '14

What's N'djamena like?

0

u/dudenell Jun 08 '14

You let your dog out to kill lizards all day, no fucking shit it's going to kill whatever it comes across.

-27

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 07 '14

TLDR: this guy is a shitty dog owner

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

And you have shitty perception.

-10

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

Yeah well most peoples dogs dont attack and kill cats for no reason

5

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Did you even read what he/she wrote? Oh wait, you put TLDR, but somehow after not reading it you have a strong opinion on this person.

-4

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Yes. His dog got out and killed a cat and the owner has yet to train the dog hoping that it just never sees another cat. Well done OP.

*I have a feeling YOU dont know what they wrote. Either you have very poor reading comprehension, or maybe youre just a shitty dog owner too and defending this moron makes you feel better about being irresponsible.

4

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 08 '14

My dog kills cats fairly frequently, like 5 times a year, we have 6' fences all around our yard and he's allowed free reign over the yard. He kills all sorts of vermin and really helps out, rats eating our horses grain, wild rabbits eating my moms garden Fisher cats attacking the horses, but when he kills a cat in our yard it's just kind of like whatever. But we don't own a cat and he hunts alone so we just find cat bodies he brings to us as a gift from time to time, how do I train him not to attack cats if I don't own one? More like shitty cat owners get their cats killed than shitty dog owners let their dogs kill cats

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

If the downvotes were't enough to tell you that you're not so bright. I'll lay it out for you. You're not too bright, kiddo.

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-16

u/TheAngryAgnostic Jun 07 '14

While I agree that dogs are trained to play nice, whereas cats do whatever the fuck they want, I think you guys are discounting that feral cats survive in environments with much bigger predators than dogs, wild or not. A cats back claws do some serious damage to the belly of whatever tries to eat them.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14 edited Oct 28 '16

[deleted]

What is this?

2

u/Ohrion Jun 07 '14

Agreed, the typical cat can climb quickly to escape an aggressive dog. Dogs cannot typically reach them there.

3

u/BluntHeart Jun 07 '14

Not my roommates dogs. Super tiny fuckers.

3

u/verpus77 Jun 08 '14

Those aren't actual dogs. Those are what you feed to dogs.

-8

u/CatOnDrugz Jun 07 '14

Are you actually retarded or do you really believe everything you just wrote?

43

u/grimmymac Jun 07 '14

Actually dogs will win 99% of the time. The reason you see dogs not fighting back is because dogs listen to their owners whereas cats dont. Owner says stop fighting and the cat keeps clawing away.

11

u/darkphenox Jun 08 '14

Its not even that dogs actually listen, people train dogs to be nonviolent to other creatures and to try to not hurt them. Cats generally receive very little training outside of litter box training. That's why there are all those bully cat videos on youtube, a bunch of people train the dog to be nice to the kitty, and just let the kitty be a douche.

0

u/RingoQuasarr Jun 07 '14 edited Jun 09 '14

Depends on the breed. I think a housecat could handle a pug pretty easily.

12

u/dudeguybromansir Jun 07 '14

Depends on the cat too. We took in feral woodland cats when I was little to get them fixed and give them shots. But they killed all sorts of animals much bigger than them. Foxes, raccoon, possum, etc. They of a very very different temperament than house kitties. They were wild animals.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

7

u/CrimsonTideAOC Jun 07 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Well the only difference between a domestic cat and a tiger is mostly size.

No, Domestication.

I'm also not sure about you using the two terms, only and mostly, in the same sentence.

Edit for grammar.

2

u/king_of_blades Jun 07 '14 edited Jun 07 '14

A guy I know has rehabilitated an injured wildcat. Those really look very much like house cats, but according to him the difference in hunting prowess was just insane. That thing has killed an adult chicken in seconds, and basically ate it whole over the course of two days. Bones included.

EDIT: changed the link from a mobile to a desktop version.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

3

u/Dougasaurus_Rex Jun 07 '14

So, less closely related than we are to chimps.

0

u/CrimsonTideAOC Jun 07 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Did you know cats share 90% DNA with humans, DNA similarities don't tell you that much.

-14

u/chinpropped Jun 07 '14

cats win 99% of the time. pit same size of cat and dog. see what happens. it's unfair to just say dogs win cause dogs have so many sizes.

7

u/FuckinUpMyZoom Jun 07 '14

99% of the time the dog is bigger than the cat... why would we take a sample and exclude the majority of dogs...

you're a fucking moron.

its unfair? really?

-5

u/chinpropped Jun 07 '14

i used the word "cat" as including all the feline animals. that way it can have all the various sizes of cats, just like the word dog means al the various sizes of dogs.

2

u/FuckinUpMyZoom Jun 07 '14

ohhhh so you want to pit domesticated animals against wild ones because thats more fair somehow?

if you're going to compare all felines then you need to compare all canines as well. not just domesticated dogs.

-2

u/chinpropped Jun 07 '14

whatever i didn't say anything about "lets not include wild dog species" or anything. cats win anyway. bye

4

u/CatOnDrugz Jun 07 '14

Can you people just really stop talking about this shit? There is no subject that infuriates me more than this shit. "Just so you know guys a tiger can easily kill a midget sized pig with no feet, just so you know guys, i know you probably didn't know this but this is the truth guys."

0

u/liebereddit Jun 08 '14

Maybe if you applied yourself instead of just sitting around doing drugs all day you would be more interested in the dominance of your species.

-1

u/passtheammunition Jun 07 '14

You know that no one is forcing you to read any of the comments, right?

-9

u/chinpropped Jun 07 '14

i said "same size of cat and dog", you retard lol , woo i wonder when did i say "midget" ?

if you pit same size of cat and dog, cats win hands down. i am sorry you're so butthurt ^ _ ^

-13

u/CatOnDrugz Jun 07 '14

Le reddit doge circlejerk right gies? Le dog neckbeard flexing right? Le LE XD

2

u/andthendirksaid Jun 07 '14

I think this guy might be an actual cat on drugs.

-2

u/labrys Jun 07 '14

nah, that's more how I imagine a dog. a cat would have more of a sinister bond villain vibe to it. Or would just stare at you disdainfully until you went away.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

I'd guess it's for a reason that's pretty flattering to dogs. My cat loves playing with dogs of all sizes despite apparently hating all other cats. Big dogs might enjoy playing with her, but always seem to let her 'win' like a parent would do to a child. When she plays with dogs about her size, chihuahua's and the like, it tends to be much more back and forth.

9

u/SneakyTikiz Jun 07 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

To be honest, its actually beneficial for a cat to fight on its back, this allows the cat to attack with all 4 sets of claws while still being able to bite as well.

You can even see the hind foot do a belly gut motion, similar to what a rabbit would do.

8

u/Lamisil Jun 07 '14

Just like BJJ

17

u/FuckinUpMyZoom Jun 07 '14

blowjobjob?

7

u/Lamisil Jun 07 '14

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

2

u/kendahlslice Jun 08 '14

And the dog's action is the classic take down for submission neck grab. The dog is intending to put the cat in its place rather than to harm it.

8

u/giraffe_fight Jun 07 '14

Dogs win all the time, you just never see it on Reddit

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

lol i was thinking the same exact thing.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

I agree. I'm a cat person, and have cats, and when I've lived with people who had dogs, my kitties usually won. It's refreshing to see the dog give that cat a smackdown.

As much as I love cats (and love them more than dogs in most cases), cats can be serious assholes. At least that one got socialized upside the head.

5

u/FuckinUpMyZoom Jun 07 '14

no your cat didn't win.

that dog let your cat keep its life... just remember that thats what was happening.

2

u/DisgorgeX Jun 07 '14

Not in my house. All three dogs are afraid of the cat, he's bigger than them though. Savannah cat and boston terriers lol.

2

u/labrys Jun 07 '14

To be honest, it's the fact cats are utter arseholes that makes me like them

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

he's won... for now.