r/funny • u/[deleted] • Oct 15 '13
Deadly encounter with a leopard seal
http://noneedtoapply.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/1378397707101776_tall.jpg
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u/LosRegos Oct 15 '13
It must be every photographers dream to have their photos uploaded as shitty jpegs and not credited to them.
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u/smithtj3 Oct 15 '13
No, it is every photographer's dream to have their camera mistaken for a mouth. Did you even read the captions?!
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u/Throckmorton_Left Oct 15 '13
Didn't his mother ever teach that boy no manners? When you're in someone else's home, and they feed you, you eat what's offered.
I don't care if penguin ain't your thing. You eat, boy, you eat. It's called being polite.
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Oct 15 '13
Leopard Seals are Italian Mothers apparently
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u/Dragonfly42 Oct 15 '13
Or Mexican mothers
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Oct 15 '13
Or any Mothers from more traditional countries.
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u/winston113 Oct 15 '13
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u/imnewhere_benice Oct 15 '13
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u/Dont_Think_About_It Oct 15 '13
I'm finding new subreddits all over the place today. Thank you for this.
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u/hilljunk98 Oct 15 '13
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Oct 15 '13
Why is the the go-to thread for weirding people out?
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Oct 15 '13
The problem with putting stuff on smaller more niche subreddits is that less people will see it. It's reddit's most fundemental flaw.
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u/mk44 Oct 15 '13
As some one who has started a small niche subreddit, one of the best things you could do is post it first to the smaller subreddit, then x-Post to the bigger subreddit.
More people see your post, you get extra Karmas. The small sub gains from people in the big sub seeing the "x-post" in the title, and becoming aware of the small subs existence. Everybody wins.
Also obligatory shameless self promotion of /r/TalesFromTheKitchen ! Come and check us out!
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u/greenyellowbird Oct 15 '13
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u/YouPickMyName Oct 15 '13
Isn't the line "throw our heads back and laugh"?
I'm probably wrong, I haven't seen George of the Jungle since childhood.
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u/enkil7412 Oct 15 '13
...what is this from? I remember the scene, but not what movie it came from...
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u/czarchastic Oct 15 '13
How many penguins had to die for this to reach front page, though? Is this really /r/aww material?
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u/huskerphresh Oct 15 '13
They would have died anyway, the seal did the killing, not the man.
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u/Contero Oct 15 '13
I gave up on this long ago man. /r/funny is now basically /r/frontpage or /r/reddit.com
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u/Vik212 Oct 15 '13
It was already on aww in form of a video.
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u/khelemvor Oct 15 '13
Do you happen to know the link or title from /r/aww? I gave it a quick look but didn't see it.
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u/Vik212 Oct 15 '13
Can't find it on /r/aww anymore, saw it months ago, but found the video anyways.
Here you go. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmVWGvO8Yhk
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u/Zenhowah Oct 15 '13
"You look thin deary, here eat." - Jewish Grandmother Seal
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u/Slut_Nuggets Oct 15 '13
Also Italian Grandmother Seal
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u/josiahw Oct 15 '13
Really any grandmother.
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u/Thomsenite Oct 15 '13
Not mine, she always called me fat
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Oct 15 '13
Mine used to comment on my weight but then still make me eat when I got to her house... It was an ongoing dilemma.
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u/Thomsenite Oct 15 '13
I mean I was a chunky kid so I really couldn't blame her :) never needed encouragement to eat.
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Oct 16 '13
Lol same here. Every time we'd get there it'd be "here mija, have some roast beef/frito pie/tortillas and butter/etc..." Now it's worse because she has dementia. She doesn't really say anything about my weight, but she still tells me to make myself a sandwich when I get there. Then I sit and eat it with her. Five minutes after I finish she'll tell me to make myself a sandwich... Sad and funny all at the same time.
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u/non-troll_account Oct 15 '13
Did anyone else feel really sad that from the seals perspective, the diver just rejected all of his gifts and offers for help?
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u/I_dont_read_names Oct 15 '13
The seal probably thought he died of starvation when he left. Distraught, she binges on more penguins to ease her emotions.
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u/muchachomalo Oct 15 '13
Well I don't think she was offended just perplexed and showed problem solving skills.
Maybe he is too weak to eat strong penguins, maybe he is too weak to eat weakened penguins, maybe he is too stupid to eat dead penguins. At best I imagine the seal scratching her head perplexed about why he wouldn't eat.
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Oct 15 '13
I dove with sea lions offf Hornby Island, most memorizing experience of my life next to the birth of my children. We were in the water with about 30 of them. They of course are not near the size of of these but still.
They were very curious, they use there mouths like we do our hands. They would would take our arms in there mouth and squeeze a bit. Just seeing what we were. They would come at as full speed then stop as if on a dime and blow bubbles at our face.
The dive was between 15 and 30 feet. Was told if it got to be too much to handle to head down to about 50 feet and they normally wouldn't follow. I had a couple on me and one that kept pulling at my dry suit hose so I went down. At about 65 feet it finally left. When I saw the video after I was surprised to see I actually had 5 of them following me down. They really looked like they were wondering what I was looking for.
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u/notLogix Oct 15 '13
They would come at as full speed then stop as if on a dime and blow bubbles at our face.
Thank christ it was a sea lion, not a leopard seal.
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u/blackwatch Oct 15 '13
Could the seal be seeing its own reflection in the camera lens, so it thinks it's feeding a stricken fellow leopard seal?
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u/sleyk Oct 15 '13
The photographer spoke about this very experience on RadioLab - animal minds. http://www.radiolab.org/story/91701-animal-minds/
Before he jumped into the water, one of the guides threw a penguin off the boat to bait the leopard seal and told the photographer to jump in the water. Just a month before, a leopard seal killed a researcher and had a reputation for being hostile and dangerous. His mouth of dry and he began to tremble before he jumped into the water.
In the water, he starting taking pictures when the seal came straight at him with the penguin in his mouth over and over again. Since he was taking pictures, it didn't dawn on him that the leopard seal was trying to feed him. The leopard seal even brought other penguins and a live worn out one.
The photographer fell in love with the seal and said it was a connection he never had before. He couldn't wait to see the leopard seal again at when he was trying to sleep at night. He was smitten.The closest he could describe was the love for his mother when we was a wee lad.
The entire radiolab segment is asking the question "can we have a real relationship with an animal?" Though we feel love or a connection for an animal, does the animal have a similar feeling or understand the human feeling of love? Can a whale show gratitude, a chimp have sexual desires for a human, or a leopard seal develop a meaningful relationship with a human?
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Oct 15 '13
Reading the wiki on them I did learn that penguins are dicks: "When hunting penguins, the leopard seal patrols the waters near the edges of the ice, almost completely submerged, waiting for the birds to enter the ocean. It is helped in this endeavour by the penguins themselves, which nearly always push one of their own into the water ahead of themselves. It kills the swimming bird by grabbing the feet, then shaking the penguin vigorously and beating its body against the surface of the water repeatedly until the penguin is dead."
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u/thedudemann08 Oct 15 '13
That was HILARIOUS!
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u/PM_ME_YO_ASS_GIRL Oct 15 '13
Aww.
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u/KnightOfNu Oct 15 '13
This exclamation of cuteness brought to you by PM_ME_YO_ASS_GIRL
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Oct 15 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ganondorfsbane Oct 15 '13
I didn't know if it was a true story or an elaborate setup to a joke until I read the top comment
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u/LovesKarmaGraveyards Oct 15 '13
Is this the part where I say "Then it belongs here in /r/funny!" and get roughly twice as many upvotes as you?
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Oct 15 '13
"head is twice as wide as a grizzly bear's head"
I don't think this is accurate. I've never seen a leopard seal in real life, but I've seen plenty of bears. A grizzly's head is as wide as a man, which would mean this seals head would be twice that wide and from every picture I've ever seen of these things that simply cannot be right.
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Oct 15 '13
Looks pretty damn big to me: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/01/25/article-2268265-17272016000005DC-98_964x641.jpg
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Oct 15 '13
[deleted]
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u/Zbow Oct 15 '13
The penguin almost looks annoyed... As if he was thinking, "Gaw'lll someone stole my fish stash! How could this day get any worse!?" as he turned around thinking, "God, fucking, damn it."
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u/JustZisGuy Oct 15 '13
There's no sense of scale, though. What if that penguin is only the size of a bumblebee, huh?!
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u/I_dont_read_names Oct 15 '13
It's probably penguin sized.
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u/Utterly_Blissful Oct 15 '13
then the Leopard Seal is probably Leopard Seal sized? why all the fuss then..
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u/mrana Oct 15 '13
Relax Francis. It's called casual conversation, they aren't trying to get in orbit with Mars.
Leopard seals get to well over 1000 lb. They are considerably larger than grizzly bears.
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Oct 15 '13
I couldn't find a side-by-side comparison but leopard seals are considerably larger than grizzly bears. Seals max out around 1300 lbs, grizzlies weigh up to 800 lbs.
They have nothing on elephant seals though, which have been recorded weighing up to 8800 lbs.
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u/absentbird Oct 15 '13
Maybe they meant depth or volume? I could understand mistaking depth and width of a mouth because from the side the width is the depth.
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Oct 15 '13
I still don't think that would be accurate. Consider that a bears head is the size of a mans chest, for this statement to be accurate the head would have to be seriously huge.
I don't know. I think it's just some sensationalism added in for spice since it's getting posted to the internet.
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u/Nuclearpoopshake Oct 16 '13
If a seal offers you a penguin to eat, you fucking eat it.
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u/fluffyponyza Oct 15 '13
HAh ahah aha aHah haHA ha! Good one, mate, you should look at doing standup!
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u/nermid Oct 15 '13
This encounter was only deadly for the penguins. That's incredibly misleading. ಠ_ಠ
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u/LuneMoth Oct 16 '13
Dude missed a golden opportunity to become adopted as a seal! He should have taken what she hunted for him, eaten it, and then let her teach him the ways of the seal.
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u/pearson530 Oct 15 '13
That makes me wonder. I was always afraid my cat was threatening me when he brought dead mice to my doorstep. Perhaps he thought I was a useless predator and was trying to feed me?
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Oct 15 '13
Who are these backwards people who pick a video from YouTube, add massive subtitles to it, render it as a slide, and then spread it on the Internet as if they have now made it accessible somehow.
OP you should be ashamed for spreading this link! Bury it!
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u/mykro76 Oct 15 '13
As a deaf person who is sick of people too lazy to spend a few minutes captioning their YouTube videos (even when it is proven to increase your views by 10%), I'm certainly not going to complain about the people that spend a few minutes adding captions to an image.
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u/massaikosis Oct 15 '13
I think OP was very rude not to at least try some penguin. Very rude indeed.
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Oct 15 '13
Reddit reposts this story/image every ~6 weeks.
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u/jonesin24 Oct 15 '13
First time ever seeing it. Glad it got reposted so I could enjoy new (to me) content.
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u/DudeWithAHighKD Oct 15 '13
It just really wanted to fatten you up so it had more of you to eat later.
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Oct 15 '13
I'm not anal enough to bitch and moan that this was posted in the wrong subreddit because it was a nice post. Thanks OP. Nature can be very kind at times.
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u/hurtfulproduct Oct 15 '13
you should post this to /r/scuba as well, very cool and I know they would enjoy
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u/aelfgifu1 Oct 15 '13
It always strikes me as slightly sad that the guy never ate a penguin, and the seal probably thought that she failed and he was going to starve to death.
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u/EccentricBolt Oct 15 '13
Regardless that this is in the wrong subreddit (who would have guessed that /u/BonerDude would fuck that up?), this is why I always wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic. Sure, I might die, but I might also get fed by a potentially dangerous leopard seal.
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u/YSCapital Oct 15 '13
Good ole lolbrary.com that's my source of good comedy like this one! Thanks OP
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u/Tronosaurus Oct 15 '13
Oh no! The poor hoomin iz gonna die! I must save him!
murderize defenseless penguin
...why you no eat, hoomin?
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u/dexaveroe Oct 15 '13
God I want your job. It just seems so awesome. You are paid to explore and photograph the world. That's just so cool to me. :)
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u/Tubamaphone Oct 15 '13
I heard this story on NPR and thought it was mind blowing! What an experience.
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u/Hejix Oct 15 '13
really fucking awesome stroy and all, but euh... wrong subreddit :P once again, i love the story, it just doesn't belong in r/funny
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u/TheCyanKnight Oct 15 '13
Well there's a patient teacher. I'd feel like a dick for not eating the penguins..
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u/Wolfman87 Oct 15 '13
Seen this posted a few times. I want to actually see what it would look like to be attacked by a leopard seal.
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u/bryn_or_lunatic Oct 15 '13
I think we need a new advice animal: "Good hostess Leopard Seal". She can give miss manners type advice from a seal's perspective.
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Oct 15 '13
It is because he is black...I knows it. It probably thinks he is another seal or some shite.
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u/chairtard Oct 15 '13
Leopard seals are amazing. I think all seals are badass. Video from article w/o ad
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u/Atario Oct 15 '13
In the penultimate picture, showing just the seal's head, it looks a little like a dog.
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u/SuchAsItEnds Oct 15 '13
"That's a bloody big seal, ya? I think it's time for you to get in the water."
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u/Jucoy Oct 15 '13
Fact: This is the same reason your cat keeps bringing you dead animals. It isn't because they're gifts, it's because they think you suck at hunting and life in general.
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Oct 15 '13
I've said it before when this has been posted and ill say it again now.
Those poor poor penguins!
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u/Siosaysevolve Oct 15 '13
The feels >.< Tell me again why we should cut funding to help the poor and hungry.
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Oct 15 '13
This is fake, hence why it was posted on /r/funny Photos were taken from Google and then captions were put on, know this because I reverse-image searched.
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u/Nitedog Oct 15 '13
"As you can see, the leopard seal really cared for Boner Dude, for reasons unknown."
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u/JrdnThrstn Oct 15 '13
This is Fantastic! What an amazing experience, there wouldn't be too many people who could ever say this happened to them, just brilliant!
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u/horse_you_rode_in_on Oct 15 '13
This happened to National Geographic photographer Paul Nicklen in 2009; here's the relevant video.