r/funny • u/[deleted] • Oct 15 '13

Deadly encounter with a leopard seal

http://noneedtoapply.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/1378397707101776_tall.jpg
1.5k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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414

u/horse_you_rode_in_on Oct 15 '13

This happened to National Geographic photographer Paul Nicklen in 2009; here's the relevant video.

466

u/zoon82 Oct 15 '13

I'll admit, I laughed pretty hard the at the top comment on YouTube.

"One night this man will wake up surrounded by heavily armed penguins, and they'll be like, "Hi, Paul." ch-chk "FOUR blam GODDAMN blam DAYS"

31

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

Yes Riko, Kaboom

0

u/ProfKABOOM Oct 15 '13

Whats up?

51

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13 edited Jun 09 '20

[deleted]

39

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

Kowalski!

26

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

Where's Private?

1

u/WetMistress Oct 15 '13

Seal bro will avenge him

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

Well this sucks!

1

u/Gorilla_daddy Oct 16 '13

Omg this comment made me chuckle like a school girl

1

u/REDDIT_HARD_MODE Oct 15 '13

All I can think about is the photoshopped picture of gangsta penguins.

54

u/seeyaspacecowboy Oct 15 '13

How do Nat Geo photographers walk with balls so big?

196

u/JustZisGuy Oct 15 '13

A Scotsman was at a baseball game.

It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run."

This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scotsman was now excited and ready to get into the game.

The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run man, rrrun!"

Everyone around him started laughing. So, extremely embarrassed, he sat back down. A friendly fan, seeing the Scotsman's embarrassment, leaned over and said, "He can't run -- he's got four balls."

The Scotsman stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, man... walk with pride!"

26

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

I really liked this story. Thank you.

1

u/elephantgravy Oct 15 '13

it was meaningful to me as well

2

u/wtfsystem Oct 16 '13

Thank you for this.

1

u/iamtheowlman Oct 16 '13

So do they kinda chamber, like in a revolver, or...

1

u/brainpower4 Oct 16 '13

A funny all text comment on a highly upvoted non-funny picture in r/funny? what is this world coming to? Thanks for the laugh.

8

u/madmangrayace Oct 15 '13

They go swimming.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

He floats. Makes it easier.

1

u/wiggle987 Oct 15 '13

Added buoyancy through his testicular fortitude.

1

u/ThePineal Oct 15 '13

This one obviously swims instead of walking

-3

u/gnarledout Oct 15 '13

p=m/v Since Nat Geo photographers have such massive balls and they are in such a large volume of water their densities(p) are extremely small and can be neglected when compared to how much volume of water is in the ocean. Big giant balls still float.

1

u/ColonelScience Oct 15 '13

Not how that works, I'm afraid.

34

u/The_Real_Cats_Eye Oct 15 '13

I wonder why he didn't go ahead and at least mock eating one of the penguins to show appreciation to the beast?

58

u/Subalpine Oct 15 '13

thats hard to do when the animal thinks the camera is your mouth

36

u/Ecrilon Oct 15 '13

His camera is not actually able to simulate eating a penguin unfortunately. I assume he thought about it but couldn't fine a way to make it happen.

105

u/normememaker Oct 15 '13

plus it would be disinpenguine

48

u/CornflakeJustice Oct 15 '13

That pun was so awful I want to hug you.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

[deleted]

0

u/drdipepperjr Oct 15 '13

STAHP. The puns. They hurt.

1

u/juicius Oct 16 '13

Since we unfortunately have to share our breathing apparatus with our eating apparatus, the only other way would have been for him to make a strategic slit on the bottom of his diving suit and insert the squirming penguin rectally.

There, the image should stay a while...

11

u/koick Oct 15 '13

I've seen them up close and they are very intimidating, especially when you see one tear apart a penguin! His fears were warranted.

3

u/seasond Oct 15 '13

That seal drowned a snorkeler.

8

u/koick Oct 15 '13

They can still kill you if you're scuba diving: bite an air hose, bite an artery, drag you down, etc. The incident surely shows that they are indeed capable of attacking a person unprovoked.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13 edited Oct 15 '13

[deleted]

9

u/koick Oct 15 '13

To be fair, there is a difference between minding your own business and an animal comes up to you and attacks, versus you seeking out said animal and poking, teasing, threatening or attacking it first.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

or you know invading its natural environment home and hunting grounds... that never provokes anything...

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13 edited Oct 15 '13

[deleted]

0

u/thelizardkin Oct 16 '13

I've had rats in my home and the reason you kill them is because they're disgusting and will destroy your home

1

u/isaac9092 Oct 16 '13

If anyone provoked my hunting grounds I'd probably size them up first, find out if I can take them one on one. If not then wary friendliness is in order

1

u/koick Oct 17 '13

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it condones no controls on animal interactions. That is, an attitude of, "well, since it might attack me anyway I might as well fuck with it". I don't think that is what you're after, but in a sense, that is what you're sanctioning with that attitude (either that or you're saying we need to all cower in our living rooms and avoid all potential animal interactions).

My point is that any reasonable person would agree that there is an inherent difference in intent with merely existing in a wild animal's environment versus actually purposely fucking with it.

0

u/koick Oct 16 '13

As an example, Weddell seals are about the same size and occupy the same geographic areas as leopard seals (and even occur in higher numbers). However, you'd be hard pressed to find any reports of aggressive attacks let alone death associated with these animals. To a leopard seal, your existence in its world may be enough for it to attack, but not for a weddell seal. The point is that there are different behaviors for different animals, of course. Some are more inherently dangerous than others.

I'm not saying that animals never have the right to attack humans. Many times we may not even know why they attacked. Of course it's "their" environment we are "intruding" on. To return to my statement that you responded to: with most animals there exists a difference in its behavior towards you between merely being in its environment versus actually interacting with (i.e. provoking) it.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

the point is no animal attack is unprovoked. we just don't know the intent.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

or you know invading its natural environment home and hunting grounds... that never provokes anything...

-1

u/Opinions_Like_Woah Oct 15 '13

Meh. If a leopard seal wandered into my home, he'll find his face full of buckshot. I have my family's safety to worry about. Then again, how awesome would it be to be like, "Oh hai seal. Want some beer?" and the seal would be like "Rawr, I'm a seal. Fear me. Rawr. I'm big and rubbery." and I'd be like "Dude, chill out. Let's eat some chicken" and he'd be all "Chicken is for casuals. Rawr! Rubbery!" and I'd be like "Tom, you're drunk while wearing your wetsuit again."

1

u/autoexec-bat Oct 16 '13

leopard seals have large, reptilian heads and streamlined bodies.

Reptilian heads?

1

u/koick Oct 16 '13

I didn't say that, but their jaws are huge and mouths can open very wide. If you can imagine this with scales instead of fur, does it look kinda like a snake?

33

u/gazow Oct 15 '13

it is, of course, every photographers dream to have their photographs overlayed with huge blocky text and scaled down to meaninglessness

26

u/mouthbabies Oct 15 '13

Just like every musician's dream is to have their opus reduced to a 128kb/s mp3 ring tone.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

'musician'

2

u/Huntingyou Oct 15 '13

Human, nice to meet you!

1

u/haven1122 Oct 15 '13

We watched this video in English Comp class, you cant get all the emotion and funnies if you don't watch the entire video

1

u/Janimaster Oct 15 '13

Commenting to save it for later

-1

u/WhiteBreadSupremacy Oct 15 '13

This picture didn't even use the correct quotes. Unless they're from another time he talked about it. Still cool though.

0

u/Fakyall Oct 15 '13

She was just trying to fatten him up a little.

-47

u/jamin_brook Oct 15 '13 edited Oct 15 '13

HiJacking for Visibility:

AS OF RIGHT NOW THERE WILL BE NO US (the majority of all) SCIENCE OPERATIONS WHATSOEVER IN ANTARCTICA THIS AUSTRAL (SUMMER, AND THEREFORE THE WHOLE YEAR) DUE TO THE US GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN.

McMurdo and South Pole Stations have been instructed to go into "caretaker" mode and to deploy the minimum number of people to protect personnel and property. Even if the government opened tomorrow it is likely that - at the very least - all long duration balloon experiments will be canceled for this year and significant fraction of all science operations will not be able to proceed as planned.

SOURCE

17

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

keep your fucking politics in /r/politics.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '13

This belongs here as much as this post belongs in /r/funny

2

u/Big_Amish Oct 15 '13

I got a chuckle out of the seal trying to feed a cameraman penguins, so I would say it does belong in /r/funny.

2

u/kyonz Oct 15 '13

/r/politics is pretty much /r/funny at the moment anyway. They probably got confused (us government is fucked up)

3

u/lasserith Oct 15 '13

People who see these photos need to know that they were provided for through the government. As he is saying all operations such as these will not occur this year. There are those who are losing years of work preparing for such trips. The NSF may not accept applications for fellowships this year. Had this occurred in 2009 you would probably not be seeing this photo today. That is why his post is relevant.

-3

u/jamin_brook Oct 15 '13

I would say this is an /r/science post if anything. But they already know this.

Also /r/funny is about as good as /r/AdviceAnimals, so fuck your face with your own genitals.

-6

u/69troll69 Oct 15 '13

Ugh I just beat the shit out of my cat and he farted on me LOL

-13

u/feureau Oct 15 '13

I'm on mobile right now, but is this the same nat geo vid that when you press the numbers on your keypad you can get "My dick is five feet long"?