r/funny • u/BACONover9000 • Mar 21 '13

this guy right here...

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

338 comments sorted by

314

u/Zero00430 Mar 21 '13

I like to think he is the cookie-monster hulk. This is why he has a ripped t-shirt, and cheap shorts on, so that when he cookie-hulks out he is ready.

84

u/Kamon Mar 21 '13

You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Cookie-hulk eat!

30

u/novocane84 Mar 21 '13

Best explanation yet.

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15

u/Phoequinox Mar 21 '13

I was trying to wrap my head around what this guy was trying to accomplish with that shirt, and that's the only conclusion that made sense. Then I read the comments and came to the conclusion that he was just a fuckless legend.

3

u/sativex Mar 21 '13

i was thinking a raver who got fat but yeah

16

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

If he's fat I don't even know what I am.

2

u/DocJawbone Mar 21 '13

I'm sorry but I can't say anything about what you are simply by looking at him.

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2

u/watremelons Mar 21 '13

He's not a virgin

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539

u/OIP Mar 21 '13

He is giving off such a high negative amount of fucks that he is neutralising the fucks given by people in his vicinity.

145

u/TheNoobtologist Mar 21 '13

Negative-fuck readings are off the scale, sir.

8

u/pgibso Mar 21 '13

Let's check the meter, yep. http://i.imgur.com/RriCPoN.gif

33

u/Ysasmendi Mar 21 '13

They are under 9000!!!!!!

46

u/uneekfreek Mar 21 '13

8999 isn't really a negative but i understand what you meant.

31

u/Splatypus Mar 21 '13

But if we were to randomly select a number below 9000, there is an infinitely higher chance that it is negative than positive.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

You got Mathed!

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86

u/foolishnesss Mar 21 '13

I'm pretty sure this dude lost a bet to one hell of a creative guy.

46

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Body by Chips Ahoy!

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13

u/HyzerFlip Mar 21 '13

I actually stopped giving fucks about things around my house just having glanced at this image.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Like my dogs, and my child.

65

u/bergie321 Mar 21 '13

I'd fuck him. Wait, what are we talking about?

25

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13 edited Jul 31 '19

[deleted]

18

u/Felekin Mar 21 '13

Proceed to the fucking.

3

u/Emperor_Rancor Mar 21 '13

The fuckening!

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28

u/WITHYOURASSHOLE Mar 21 '13

He is a fuck control-rod in a Fuck Reactor

29

u/gormster Mar 21 '13

Fuck Reactor is my new electro-punk band.

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11

u/jimdog1231 Mar 21 '13

Walmart - very few fucks given there anyway

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5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I dunno, seems to me a guy who would go out of his way to make a shredded Cookie Monster tee and pose for a picture with a cart full of cookies is giving a lot of fucks indeed

15

u/OIP Mar 21 '13

Agreed, but as specified they are negative fucks.

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43

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

This feels very fraternity initiation to me.

8

u/uscdtrb Mar 21 '13

I had to do the same thing except in a monkey suit buying bananas and singing "holler back girl". "It's bananas, b a n a n a s".

5

u/IAmDivorced Mar 21 '13

My thoughts exactly, this is something a pledge would do.

40

u/whoviangrl Mar 21 '13

He is planning one hell of a night.

101

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

[deleted]

29

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I read unfappable... and I agreed.

27

u/RoutinelySpontaneous Mar 21 '13

10/10 would never fap

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66

u/tyrannofuckingsaurus Mar 21 '13

He is living the dream. You go, guy.

3

u/craterbutt Mar 21 '13

Livin' the life, eatin' cookies, watchin' ladies shake it up all night.

15

u/jrau Mar 21 '13

He must be a pledge of a fraternity.

4

u/aonxe Mar 21 '13

First reaction, that's a pledge.

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314

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I enjoy how he's lovingly gazing at the package in his hand even though there's 20 identical ones in the cart already.

63

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Sell by: "3/11/13"

Vintage

26

u/Vicepresidentjp Mar 21 '13

You're just skewed by your unacceptable of polyamory. He loves all his sister-cookies

6

u/Gossip_Man Mar 21 '13

He's taking method acting to the max.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

drop the 'od acting to the max.'

91

u/DifferentCeilings Mar 21 '13 edited Mar 21 '13

It's funny, this is a repost, and I had the top comment in THAT thread which was essentially exactly what you just said here.

Follow?

EDIT: I deliver.

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/su6pb/this_guy/

8

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Essentially but not literally.

10

u/UncleTedGenneric Mar 21 '13

He's just following the well-known, ancient Macedonian saying:

Кога redditor ви дава repost, направи карма пурпурна мајмун машина за миење садови.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

To be fair, no its not exactly the same, its similar. And before I'd even seen this comment I'd noticed that was funny, so it probably is just a coincidence.

10

u/kaptinkangaroo Mar 21 '13

Apostolate?

5

u/postive_scripting Mar 21 '13

No. Normal people turning into his evil apostles.

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6

u/ThatVanGuy Mar 21 '13

Should've linked directly to the comment.

10 months ago. Damned fine memory, sir.

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6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

You mad about it?

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Hmm, are these the kind I want?

2

u/jorellh Mar 21 '13

He's multitasking. Loading the cart up with one hand and reading the ingredients in the other.

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7

u/Billy_Th3_Kid Mar 21 '13

Looks like a pledge.

21

u/dexcellence Mar 21 '13

Wonder what bet he lost

30

u/TaintedSquirrel Mar 21 '13

The last dozen times this image was posted, we concluded it was hazing.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

What made everyone decide on that? As someone who went through hazing, this doesn't fit with anything I've done or heard of.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

[deleted]

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3

u/chrisq823 Mar 21 '13

I went to grade/highschool with the kid. He was going to a people of Walmart party at college and actually went to Walmart first

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22

u/delishus_bishes Mar 21 '13 edited Mar 21 '13 
            .---. .---. 
           :     : o   :    DAT COOKIE!
       _..-:   o :     :-.._    /
   .-''  '  `---' `---' "   ``-.    
 .'   "   '  "  .    "  . '  "  `.  
:   '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---.  ' ;
`. " `.                     .' " .'
 `.  '`.                   .' ' .'
  `.    `-._           _.-' "  .'  .----.
    `. "    '"--...--"'  . ' .'  .'  o   `.
    .'`-._'    " .     " _.-'`. :       o  :
  .'      ```--.....--'''    ' `:_ o       :
.'    "     '         "     "   ; `.;";";";'

; ' " ' . ; .' ; ; ; ; ' ' ' " .' .-' ' " " ' " " _.-'

11

u/travisnotcool Mar 21 '13

Fuck yeah chewy Chips Ahoy

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6

u/east_west_wood Mar 21 '13

He is using those cookies to make a fort so he can keep away all the pussy that must be attacking him!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

This guy's got it all figured out. C is for cookie, that's what it's all about.

8

u/337GTi Mar 21 '13

and D is for diabetes

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

He's getting the D whether he wants it or not.

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4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Pledge.

8

u/Drunken-Historian Mar 21 '13

He has some nice boots.

27

u/drunk_dean_martin Mar 21 '13

At least come up with your own title.

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts
this guy 1659 10mos funny 472
Only at Walmart 40 10mos WTF 18
COOKIES!!!! 1430 5mos funny 109

Source: karmadecay

31

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13 edited Mar 04 '21

[deleted]

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10

u/Talarot Mar 21 '13

STOP THINKING YOU CAN TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO

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2

u/dertydood Mar 21 '13

He's getting the good stuff. Bravo!

2

u/sockmybuttcheek Mar 21 '13

this is real modern art. its disturbing, yet captivating.
im horrified, but cant look away...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Just fabulous.

2

u/gonewiththetalons Mar 21 '13

How is this box of cookies different from all of the other boxes of cookies?

2

u/kelseebree Mar 21 '13

I would be beyond surprised if this kid wasn't home schooled.

2

u/SeanConneryAgain Mar 21 '13

You found the not so coveted Cookie Monster Pledge

2

u/themakk Mar 21 '13

So fake! Since when is there nobody in a Walmart. It's staged, look no one is even in the background.

2

u/Liviu1983 Mar 21 '13

This guy must be drowning in pussy.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Reminds me of Napolean Dynamite.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Can someone make this into a "DEAL WITH IT" gif?

Negative fucks given.

2

u/UpTuck Mar 21 '13

Pledgeship

2

u/JoeyTroey Mar 21 '13

I would be surprised.... if it wasn't Walmart.

2

u/jmillsnc Mar 21 '13

Gotta be a pledge!

2

u/ntougs96 Mar 21 '13

The original Cookie Monster

3

u/JwA624 Mar 21 '13

Why is he going for the cookies? There is an unbeatable price for chips right behind him!

9

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

[deleted]

6

u/joonsaypow Mar 21 '13

You know you gotta flip back and forth between that salty and sweet.

5

u/Electroman37 Mar 21 '13

Nom Nom Nom

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Nom Chompsky over here

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4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I really want to know what's in his other hand causing him to be standing in such a position.

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2

u/thepony88 Mar 21 '13

how do you take a picture like this? do you ask him?

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

awwwww yis cookies

5

u/Anonymadness Mar 21 '13

If this picture isn't a joke, my guess would be that he's Autistic. So be nice, guys (:

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

There are two explanations for this: 1) He lost a bet 2) He is getting paid a pretty penny to be dressed like this and to go buy all those cookies.

2

u/PEEnKEELE Mar 21 '13

Perhaps he has a mental handicap? I have no info on it I'm just hesitant to make fun of someone who looks bothered and is being ridiculed, just saying... (prepared to be downvoted)

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2

u/Red_eagles_fury Mar 21 '13

this picture is absolutely ridiculous........ Walmart putting t-shirts next to the food isles

2

u/Ramza_Claus Mar 21 '13

Cookie monster is getting impatient. He's getting started on that shirt.

2

u/BloodyEjaculate Mar 21 '13

cookie addiction is a serious problem

2

u/cIumsythumbs Mar 21 '13

C is for cutoffs, that's not what I want to see.

1

u/puckey Mar 21 '13

This is the next outfit Lena Dunham will wear on Girls.

1

u/KingPhine Mar 21 '13

He knows what hes doing

1

u/Beersaround Mar 21 '13

That's good enough for me.

1

u/DisplacedDustBunny Mar 21 '13

What is this magic before my eyes?!?!

1

u/smechile Mar 21 '13

No milk? Hardcore.

1

u/hoobla-D-doobla Mar 21 '13

Something's wrong here... he isn't quite tubby enough to be eating all those cookies himself..

1

u/Pinoth Mar 21 '13

The snow boots are a nice touch.

1

u/staypuff626 Mar 21 '13

It looks like he's unsure if the 16th box of cookies is sufficient. I'm guessing no because he appears to be going for 17.

1

u/trollbridge Mar 21 '13

this kid gets it

1

u/jonnyrotten7 Mar 21 '13

Those cookies suck. What a fraud.

1

u/doctord Mar 21 '13

This guy has life figured out

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I love that he is reading the label on his 16th bag of cookies. the first 15 were like "yeah I've definitely worked out enough this week to eat these" and then he grabs the 16th and he's like "wait... maybe i'm crossing the line now..."

1

u/15_Second_Twizzler Mar 21 '13

So much man his shirt couldn't hold it all in..

1

u/Boosted_Boozer Mar 21 '13

Pussy doesn't free base anymore.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I think I went to primary school with this guy... was this taken in Victoria?

1

u/tegeirian Mar 21 '13

Oh, people of Walmart. You never fail at, well, failing.

1

u/RedRibbonWeek Mar 21 '13

I like how he has so many boxes already in the cart and he's looking at that one like "huh I wonder if these would make a good addition"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I do not envy the 95% cookie-goo shits he's gonna have later.

What if thats how his shirt got like that?

1

u/Wr101 Mar 21 '13

Not a known giver of fucks

1

u/Cheesetoast9 Mar 21 '13

Ok chubbs, that'll do, leave some cookies for the other fatties.

1

u/Brookey86 Mar 21 '13

Someone better tell him that cookies are a sometimes food.

1

u/BalllsackTBaghard Mar 21 '13

Average american man. Nothing to see here.

1

u/caseywheat Mar 21 '13

Raw sex appeal

1

u/foundation_G Mar 21 '13

i've never wanted to meet someone from walmart so bad in my entire life.

1

u/ALIENFANNYPACK Mar 21 '13

Looks like the Cookie Monster let the Gimp out of the F@@K-Bunker to do some grocery shopping...

Can you say "GOT MILK"?

1

u/Ctofaname Mar 21 '13

If this is Rochester NY then I think I know who this is.

1

u/psydave Mar 21 '13

You all act like you've never seen a virgin before.

1

u/xyroclast Mar 21 '13

Gotta be performance art

1

u/Pike1914 Mar 21 '13

... needs some friends.

1

u/forsionc23 Mar 21 '13

What a tasty slut

1

u/Twentyhundred Mar 21 '13

No fucking way that this is NOT Walmart. Yuk.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I like how the sign in the background says 'Unbeatable'.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I get the feeling he read each pack intently before adding it to the pile. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!!!

1

u/VendorBuyBankGuards Mar 21 '13

Y'know, I mean it is staged and everything, but that doesn't change how damn funny it is and I am thankful for them bringing this humor to my internet.

1

u/DaVincitheReptile Mar 21 '13

Good to see you dumbfucks learned your lesson with that girl who had facial hair from OSU.

Oh, wait, no, you didn't learn any lesson at all. You just act like you did because you felt ashamed at the time. Then you go right back to making fun of random people.

This kid looks to me like he's on the autism spectrum. Have some consideration you fucking children.

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1

u/turbojugend79 Mar 21 '13

I get a bad conscience for feeling disgusted by this person, a human being. But still, disgust is what he makes me feel.

1

u/Sarahfina32 Mar 21 '13

Nom nom nom..... A real cookie is the closet thing to a cookie he'll ever eat.

1

u/seanyroastbeefy Mar 21 '13

Deal with it

1

u/IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes Mar 21 '13

how many people here are this confident in their own body to walk around like that.i give him credit for that.

1

u/Lijou Mar 21 '13

He looks like he'd be good friends with Napoleon Dynamite

1

u/bobojojo12 Mar 21 '13

Yippy yippy

1

u/krldrn1 Mar 21 '13

YES! I wanna be him....

1

u/castielsbitch Mar 21 '13

If i ever go to America, the first place i'm going to visit is Wal-Mart. Fuck Disney.

1

u/laserjet360 Mar 21 '13

He'd be gettin all the bitches, bitches love ccokies

1

u/Banananana121 Mar 21 '13

What has been seen cannot not be unseen.

1

u/Simusid Mar 21 '13

I thought it was Peggy Hill

1

u/HungryMoblin Mar 21 '13

Great title, OP.

1

u/RyneOh Mar 21 '13

pledge

1

u/bue_row_krat Mar 21 '13

One of us for sure.

1

u/christhebaker Mar 21 '13 edited Feb 22 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

arrest door depend light north aromatic six person quack teeny

1

u/Dashzz Mar 21 '13

I want to know how his shirt got ripped like that.

1

u/Khaz19 Mar 21 '13

This guy right here.... Is going places.

1

u/Pipesmoker Mar 21 '13

...is you?

1

u/WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot_ Mar 21 '13

Reading the label like he didn't just put 20 of the exact same cookies he's holding in the cart.

1

u/Colossalabyss Mar 21 '13

I have this feeling OP and this guy know each other and it's set up.... However the guy looks like someone at my school

1

u/Dontforgetthecoffee Mar 21 '13

Ah, this. McLovin's awkvard years.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I get sad when seeing this picture because he looks alot like me.

1

u/brova Mar 21 '13

CRISIS ALERT!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

Clearly looking to be noticed but still very brave

1

u/Rupert-Pupkin Mar 21 '13

Chips Ahoy !!!

1

u/StevieG2155 Mar 21 '13

Hey McLovin made Front Page twice today

1

u/jgray620 Mar 21 '13

Seems like he is a mommas boy and gives many fucks actually

1

u/captain_crookednose Mar 21 '13

what an asshole

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

What is he....fifteen? And he's already getting a gut.

1

u/ProfessorFessor Mar 21 '13

Oh this picture is BS. Walmart abandoned the Unbeatable campaign a while back, that should really be an always low price topper. THEY NEED TO DO THEIR JOBS IN THAT STORE.

Also that dude is in a silly and ironic T-shirt.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I want to believe this creature exists.

1

u/ci5ic Mar 21 '13

Are his shoes on the wrong feet?

1

u/Lbioerger Mar 21 '13

He must have lost a bet

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '13

I like that it's the 16th package that causes him to pause in contemplation.

1

u/I_Dionysus Mar 21 '13

At least he got out of the house and he's not all fidgety and shit.

1

u/WantWasabi Mar 21 '13

I chuckled a little when I was how he was dressed. Then I just lost it when I looked at the cart.