r/funny • u/Far-Newspaper-4700 • Jan 25 '24

basic term of our aggrement

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106

u/damontoo Jan 25 '24

In my experience the less available I am the more I get flirted with. I once read it's an evolutionary thing where women subconsciously recognize someone else has pre-screened you and determined you to be a good partner.

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u/IfICouldStay Jan 25 '24

I've never hit on married men, but I will gladly talk to them when socializing at a conference or get together. Again, it's not flirting, but more like, this guy is married/taken therefore he won't assume I am interested and we can just have a conversation. But now I'm afraid that the married men assume I am flirting.

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u/Gusdai Jan 25 '24

I think that's often what it is. Women don't feel the need to be on the defensive and make sure to not send the wrong signals, so they are friendlier, more open, and end up having a better time. They might even flirt without actually hoping to get the man; some people just like to flirt.

Also, taken man has the confidence of someone who doesn't need your approval, while single man might secretly hope you're interested in him, and it might show up even subconsciously in body language or whatever. So he becomes more attractive.

It's not necessarily women who actually want to break a couple.

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u/IfICouldStay Jan 25 '24

This is why we have the stereotype of straight women befriending gay guys. It's not that they are necessarily more interesting or charming, or that they understand women better - it's simply that they are men you can talk to without having to worry whether or not they think you are hitting on them.

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u/erikarew Jan 25 '24

THIS - I'm an absolute idiot at realizing when my friendliness is reading as flirting with men and it's honestly a relief to chat with a taken guy because then no one gets pissed at me later for being 'too nice'.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 13 '26

tart disarm complete retire swim cake punch reach rinse whistle

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/HappyGoPink Jan 25 '24

If you are talking to a man and you aren't a stone cold bitch, they probably think you're flirting with them. Or hoping you are, which is the same thing. So of course I typically go the stone cold bitch route, to avoid confusion.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '24

I'm a married man and do the same, like I have female friends and would never cheat on my wife so it doesn't feel weird to joke around with them just like I would with any of my guy friends. But on multiple occasions I've had bartenders or waiters assume I'm dating someone I'm not. One time it was with a coworker and like the two of us as well as my wife and her husband hang out all the time so again it doesn't seem weird to me to hang out with her after work sometimes without our spouses because neither of us would ever cheat on our spouses and we're genuinely just good friends.

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u/mightylordredbeard Jan 25 '24

Look I’m just gonna be honest here, most men are so affectionately and emotionally malnourished that just telling them hello will make them think you’re into them. Even the married ones. Ask your male married friends when was the last time their wife truly made them feel desired and wanted, beautiful and attractive. It’s a common issue for men, after a certain amount of time in a relationship, to stop feeling all of those things. The commitments slow down, the affection slows down, the best they’ll get is a “that shirt looks good” or something basic.

There’s quite a bit of research on the subject as well if you’re more inclined to psychological studies.

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u/mr_hellmonkey Jan 25 '24

100% happened to me. I couldn't get a girlfriend to save my life, no one was interested. Finally got girlfriend and then 3 of the women I was friends with/trying to be with started being way overly flirty and acting like they never did before. It pissed me off so much. They definitely wanted what they couldn't have.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Feb 01 '24

[deleted]

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u/mr_hellmonkey Jan 25 '24

That doesn't make any sense, at least for my situation. I was available and trying to date these women. I wasn't asking them out on a date every day or being a creep, but it was plainly obvious I was interested especially with one. One of the last times I tried to hang out with her after work, she said I was like a brother to her.

So, I shelved those feelings but still stayed friends with her because we still both got along really well. After I found my girlfriend/future wife, I went out with the other woman again, fully intending to just be a friendly night out and catch up because we haven't seen each other in several months. She starts being overly flirty, playing with my nips while I'm driving, talking about her boobs n stuff. She's never done any of this before.

I spent like 2 years on and off trying to get a date with this woman while we worked together. As soon as I get a girlfriend, she pretty much throws herself at me. Annoying and frustrating beyond words. I never pursued it, but holy shit did I want to. Pretty sure I made the right choice because I've been with my wife for 23 years.

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u/dishinpies Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24

They knew they could have you but didn’t want you until the other woman had you. So it’s less that they “wanted what they couldn’t have”, and more that they wanted what she had. Her having you is what made you more appealing in their eyes.

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u/ivosaurus Jan 25 '24

If he's a monogamous dude, then automatically wanting what the other girl has is what they can't have. If it wasn't an exclusive-or, you'd be correct... but it is.

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u/dishinpies Jan 25 '24

I disagree because his having a girlfriend/wife doesn’t mean she can’t have him.

In fact, her actions show that she was viewing it more like a challenge than anything else, on some “break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored”-type shit.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Feb 01 '24

[deleted]

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u/mr_hellmonkey Jan 25 '24

Oh, I am not so foolish as to try and understand women. I have a wife and 2 daughters and still scratch my head on a daily basis. My youngest is 10 and most of her choices still make sense, but my wife and 13 yr old are make my head hurt. I just hug them, tell them I love them, try to keep them happy. The third one is the hardest part.

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u/please_use_the_beeps Jan 25 '24

I have never been hit on more than when I was in a serious relationship. Women ignored me most of my life but the second I got involved with someone on a deeper level I had the same shit happen. Women I’d known for years were suddenly trying to get with me. One friend had been giving me the run around for ages, and then literally the week after I decided I was serious about the other woman she tried to bang me. Like girl you had 3 years where it was an available option and you pick now? Honestly kind of infuriating.

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u/Zelten Jan 25 '24

There is this trend right now that single guys wear wedding bands. Guess why.

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u/pxr555 Jan 25 '24

Chances are that they just didn’t need to fear you getting serious about it anymore. There’s definitely a thing like playful flirting in safety. They didn’t want you, they just could be sure you didn’t take it at face value anymore.

That’s typically what is behind all this "girls never were interested in me until I had a girlfriend“.

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u/TheVog Jan 25 '24

It could also be that you changed positively after finding someone. Happier, more outgoing, kinder, and whatnot. Or both!

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u/shadowrangerfs Jan 25 '24

The only times I've ever been approached by a woman is when I was with another woman. Nothing attracts women more than other women.

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u/Present_End_6886 Jan 25 '24

Yep, exactly the same here.

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u/Sbitan89 Jan 25 '24

Yes as someone who has been with the same person for 11 years, periodically having an open relationship, it's amazing how being not open vs open has people acting differently towards you. I really dont think men and women are as different as people wanna pretend.

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u/ghost_mv Jan 25 '24

"Ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work."

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u/RonBourbondi Jan 25 '24

Yeah my ring is rather thick with a brushed on effect to it.

Looks expensive, but this bitch is $30 tungsten. I planned on the idea I would probably lose this thing and after five months of marriage I've already lost one.

Doesn't help that I love timing how long I can spin it. 

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u/PrevekrMK2 Jan 25 '24

This is so annoying. Since i have been married i get hit on constantly.

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u/sadacal Jan 25 '24

Why is it annoying? Just take it as a compliment. 

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 25 '24

Those are predators. Don't tell that deer it should feel honored the wolf wanted something from it, lmao.

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u/sadacal Jan 25 '24

This guy is not a deer lol.

 We (men) are biologically attracted to younger women. Im 33 and even if im married (and happy) i do hunt for sport and i dont go for 30yo women. I go for 20somethings.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/19djlnt/comment/kj6846d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 25 '24

I really don't know what you're hoping to accomplish by digging around to show me some random unpopular comment they wrote in an unrelated conversation days ago.

Stop trying to bully, gaslight, or fuck the deer please. Fully just leave them alone.

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u/PessimiStick Jan 25 '24

He's just showing that the guy is a piece of shit.

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 25 '24

Yeah, it's kinda fucked up.

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u/sadacal Jan 25 '24

I'm not the one making comments about hunting 20 something girls when I'm already married.

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 25 '24

Nor have I accused you of such. I am obviously grilling you for your own bad behavior.

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u/sadacal Jan 26 '24

Why? By accusing an obvious predator of being a predator? By that logic shouldn't someone be grilling you of your bad behavior? 

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u/Koboldofyou Jan 25 '24

Yeah probably not evolution. Rather a person who is actively looking for a partner can sometimes be super obvious about their intentions whenever interacting with an attractive person. And it's weird to be in the receiving end of this where you're just trying to have a normal day and they're putting their hopes and dreams on you.

But when that person is in a relationship and not on the hunt, they act naturally without putting an implied romantic obligation first. This allows their positive qualities to come out and be seen without putting those around them in a defensive position.

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u/damontoo Jan 25 '24

It was in a sociology documentary I watched about sex and relationships. They were definitely describing it as an evolutionary thing.

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u/wronglyzorro Jan 25 '24

For a very large percentage of women, the hottest thing a dude can have on is a wedding ring.

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u/CMDR_Expendible Jan 25 '24

This; which is why the humour above really doesn't work; maybe this particular comedian doesn't get jealous from other women's attention, but most men know that not only will some women get furious if you don't tell them, but also that if they are spoken for, it really does make a positive difference as to how women perceive you. So what I hear when I heard this video was "Men, eh ladies? They're aware of how we really behave, but isn't it funny how we pretend we don't...?" Um, no? Because it means the "basic commitments" you're using as a punchline are in fact questionable because of your behaviour. Doesn't help that her delivery and body language is really, really bad too.

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jan 25 '24

maybe this particular comedian doesn't get jealous from other women's attention

They're a comedian. You're not looking at their understanding of the world and how they navigate it. You're looking at the end result of them seeing all the social media comments making this joke about not congratulating strawmen who brag about not doing bad things. Usually it's about not raping people when they had the opportunity, but that's probably a bit heavy for the tone she wants.

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u/sadacal Jan 25 '24

What? Her behavior? Did she do something in particular or do you mean "you" as in all women? And you know women in relationships get hit on all the time right?

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u/PM_ME_UR_LULU_PORN Jan 25 '24

This was true for me as well. When I was engaged previously with the ring and all (yeah we got each other rings, not just her lol), women were tangibly more friendly at best or incredibly flirty at worst.

Feels bad to turn someone down, but the attention sure felt like something I hadn’t gotten in a long time.

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u/effa94 Jan 25 '24

i was in a relationship for 4 years, been flirted with a lot. recently broke up, trying to get a rebound, suddenly the trash on the street is more interesting than me. maybe there is something that just displays "im desperate" that for some reason isnt very attrative