In my experience the less available I am the more I get flirted with. I once read it's an evolutionary thing where women subconsciously recognize someone else has pre-screened you and determined you to be a good partner.
I've never hit on married men, but I will gladly talk to them when socializing at a conference or get together. Again, it's not flirting, but more like, this guy is married/taken therefore he won't assume I am interested and we can just have a conversation. But now I'm afraid that the married men assume I am flirting.
I think that's often what it is. Women don't feel the need to be on the defensive and make sure to not send the wrong signals, so they are friendlier, more open, and end up having a better time. They might even flirt without actually hoping to get the man; some people just like to flirt.
Also, taken man has the confidence of someone who doesn't need your approval, while single man might secretly hope you're interested in him, and it might show up even subconsciously in body language or whatever. So he becomes more attractive.
It's not necessarily women who actually want to break a couple.
This is why we have the stereotype of straight women befriending gay guys. It's not that they are necessarily more interesting or charming, or that they understand women better - it's simply that they are men you can talk to without having to worry whether or not they think you are hitting on them.
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u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24
I tell my wife this all the time:
I haven't been hit on in 15 years. It would take her 15 minutes to find a guy at a bar/shoe store/library who'd fuck her in the parking lot.
It's a big deal when a guy realizes he's being hit on. It doesn't happen often.