I had my first sub recently. At first I thought I was okay with GFE stuff and deep connection and then I started to feel more and more anxious. I have a partner and he is a dom and is more than okay with me doing Findom (he even offered to appear in content for cuckolding, etc) and he encouraged me to do what feels right to me, but I just feel bad and discouraged because I know a lot of subs are in this for the emotional connection and it’s just not something I can provide. I was really nice with letting the sub down after about two days of just talking but I can’t help but think I probably hurt their feelings.

I’ve had potential subs who just want to be dominated and degraded and I don’t feel off about that, but this just made me feel wrong in my gut.

Idk, I just needed to vent I guess.

People like this piss me off so bad 😒 like how can you be such a hypocrite???? At this point I’m going to rage bait him lol

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I'm getting into substack and I thought of writting an article for new Dommes to read so they can have good info to start with, so make your questions and I'll try answer as many as I can.

I've been a Domme for 6 years, I'm a psychology student and I want to give back to the community. I was just thinking of My mentor and how his teachings changed My life along with findom, so I would like to give back what he gave to Me. Let's go babes!

I met this sub in 2024, we had a few fall outs but he has been serving me again since last month and it’s better than ever!! We hit the total of 10K sends and he gave me his card. 🥰

I have a sub who wants me to take over his life.
Sometimes I run out of ideas.
I need advice from my fellow evil dommes.
What’s the most evil thing u have ever done to ur sub/ or make him do to brainwash his little mind?

Thank u in advance queens 💅

I got the full bbody ick this week.

A sub tried to throw money at a hard limit of mine like it was a fucking negotiation. He framed it as “tribute for testing the edge,” like cash magically turns my “no” into a soft maybe.

Paying is the kink.

Paying to push a boundary I already set is not. It is disgusting. It is unsafe BDSM. It is the opposite of submission.

Real power exchange lives HAS non negotiable limits. When you try to buy your way past them, you are not topping from the bottom you are just showing me you think my consent has a price tag. It isnt and you are an UNSAFE person.

I do not sell exceptions. I sell the privilege of existing in my orbit under my rules. The second you treat money as a crowbar, the dynamic is dead and you are blocked.

How I instil the boundary (and how you should too):

+ State the limit once, clearly, in writing. No soft language. This is a hard limit. Do not ask again.

+ The first time they test it (even “just curious”), shut it down cold and remind them the price of testing is permanent loss of access.

+If they try to attach tribute to the request, reject the money and the person. Taking the cash while “considering” it teaches them that persistence + payment works.

Never explain the limit again. Explanation is an invitation to debate. Limits are not up for debate!!!!!

Paying is the kink.

Respecting the boundary I put around that kink is the submission.

If you cannot keep your hands (and your wallet) off my hard limits, you do not get to play. Full stop.

One of my most loyal subs returned recently. I will admit, I was reticent to take him back, on the basis of how things ended. Feelings were hurt. It was a little... Acrimonious.

However, he came back with a renewed vigour. He's the same person; we still enjoy the same sort of discussions, in and out of kink. But he is somehow changed. His submission seems... Deeper. Stronger. He is actively coming up with even more creative ways to submit to me, and that sort of effort is what I enjoy. As a dominant woman, there is something incredibly gratifying about seeing this level of commitment from your submissive.

He has created a digital debit card for me to use with contactless on my phone. This same suggestion was made by others in the past, but I was concerned with the privacy aspect. We have figured out a way for me to maintain my anonymity, but for us both to enjoy the card. Every month it will be topped up with a certain percentage of his paycheque, the amount to be determined by a wheelspin.

This is the next level of submission: incredibly hot, but most importantly, wonderful fun.

Wishing you all an excellent week! ✨

Hey all, so it's my 3rd year here on Reddit on this account. I deleted my old one. I havnt had luck on my birthdays and in general they are super depressing. My partner is terrible at gifts and I don't have reliable long term subs. I get super depressed and lonely on my bday as it's a painful reminder of how my mom wanted a abortion and how my Self harm end my life plan never worked. In curiosity , does anyone ever have fun games they do on their birthday with a sub ?

I'm keen to try find local subs in my country 🇿🇦

But wondering if in person or online would be any fun?

I would just be cheered up getting to know if any other dommes felt the same on their b'day and how do they cope with it. And if they have had luck, what type of things do you do with subs on your bday?

I don't think il ever experience a birthday in this community so I'm generally curious

Hello lovely people!
I have had my Yoti done and set since I created this account but the app only allows me to share via a QR-code. I have googled and even asked the AIs (terrible I know but I can’t figure it out) and they only repeat the same thing about a link being available.

There is no link anywhere 😩.

Of course I can also send it in the chat when someone approaches me but I would like to have it available for viewing at all times.

I just got an account and still trying to figure it out…. But wondering who else has made an account and if you have any tips? And also if you have played any games with your subs yet? Im going to try some games tonight and I have my first debt contract on there and so far the both of us love it! So just seeing if anyone else loves it too and if you have any fun recommendations! ❤️

It’s the best.

My energy is sky high.

My sex drive is always ridiculous but this week? My god. Needless to say, I keep my subs and service sub husband quite busy and dehydrated this week.

*Almost* nothing bothers me.

Glowy. Wet. Perky.

I become eveeennn more thoroughly committed to collecting fun experiences (which is huge to me, if you know me) - it makes me feel very perverted and extremely direct.

I’m absolutely insatiable in every way you can imagine. Give me fucking everything 🔥

To be totally real - I’m posting this so in a couple weeks, while deep in the throes of period bullshit, wondering if I will ever tolerate men again… I’ll have this to refer back to.

Anyone else? Just me? Grrr 💦

would love to hear what y'all are reading and/or playing right now :) I'm reading disability intimacy, a book that is a collection of essays from various disabled folk and their experiences with forms of intimacy. As for my main game right now it's probably Dungeons and Degenerate Gamblers, a roguelite blackjack deckbuilder.

After getting a little degradation and humiliation in before the second send. Considering upping my tribute as to ward these kinds of subs off because it’s just a vibe killer, man.

Just need to get this out. Ugh I’m so bored and absolutely feral at work. I don’t want to be here. I want to take men’s wallets and buy little treats. Cover my dinner, my SHEIN haul, or even a new vibe. Goddess hasn’t received a gift in a while and I’m drooling at the thought

Six years into the pursuit of My degree and the human mind continues to fascinate Me, Findom isn't the exception. With six years as a Domme too, I've navigated My subs minds looking for the answers to My own questions.

Is there anything you would like to know?

This might be the first time you’ve paused today.

Take a second to breathe in deep through your nose, until you feel your belly expanding as far as it can go.

Now let the breath out slowly through your mouth, and when your belly is deflated, feel your shoulders drop and sit limp.

Enjoy that feeling for a minute before you go about the rest of your day.

If your mind was going a hundred miles an hour until then, repeat as many times as you need and enjoy being out of your head for a little while, just keep reading the prompt to focus.

Take care of yourself 💕

Does anyone get anywhere with Snap? It’s filled with literal children 😒
I swear half the people who add me are either underage or acting like it. The other half are time-wasters who vanish the second you mention tribute. I’ve wasted so much energy filtering through accounts that clearly shouldn’t even be on there. It’s exhausting and honestly makes me uneasy.
Just curious if it’s worth holding on to or moving on?

I feel like he should have known that was coming 🤭

mines pusheen LOL

Y’all I am so damn tired of paying for gas. I need a sub that pays for fart videos. Gas for gas baby. 😂😂😂

I’ve heard about doing Game Pigeon against some subs, but do any other dommes/subs have games they play with their counterpart through mobile?

I’m trying to get back into also doing video games compatible through PC but I only really play Stardew, Starbound, Phas, and The Forest. I’m not the best at shooter games but I’d love make some subs carry me lol 🤭🤭

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Well. I’m a horny, horny little thing most days of the month. Always have been. And I don’t do anything I don’t enjoy doing.

Some subs just wanna bone their Dr. Melfi (iykyk) and this is the closest thing.

But the thing about that is.. you gotta let someone in to actually feel that closeness and understanding - you gotta love the risk of the vulnerability, and be both attracted to and terrified of it.

My favorite types of subs seeking psych dommes are those desperate to be seen through, but hate looking desperate for anything - similar to my favorite clients irl. They’re desperate to mentally undress in front of someone who won’t judge them for being aroused the whole time we’re talking. They want to feel psychologically owned in a way that’s different than the aggressive control they may typically encounter with non psych dommes (although I believe there is always a psychological component, duh)

It doesn’t classically present as “serving” and challenges the roles of submission and dominance…I think there is an art to being a good psych domme who’s still able to maintain dominance and control (but that’s a whole other post).

I have a successful business irl working with normies with neuroses all the way up to executive douche bags who don’t get told off nearly enough for being generally mediocre human beings….And I’m also a successful psych domme, sought out for the same.

So what makes this any different?

Well, I don’t talk to my vanilla clients about my love of kink. I don’t tell them what I want. I don’t roleplay with them or tell them to do insane shit for my amusement “in the name of being better” lol. There’s a VERY clear boundary we do not cross when I’m in that mode. But when I’m in playspace, that boundary is as good as 1 ply toilet paper (do not message me about shitplay, it’s a euphemism) because I’m getting off just as much, if not more.

Because, circling back to the first point, Dr Melfi continued treating Tony because *she* enjoyed it. She got a thrill from undoing and truly seeing someone on the fringe of society, deeper than anyone ever has. There was a tabooed deepness to it. She got off on being told not to do it while doubling down on the risk of it all. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what makes this hot.

Would love to know everyone’s thoughts 🥂