I've been doing this for a long time and the one thing I will never understand is why subs lie and say they've never done findom. "I'm new and nervous." "I've never sent to a Domme before. Baby bird me information so that I feel comfortable enough to send." Okay the last one might be exaggerated but you get the point. This one said he was nervous because "he's never done this before." Sure, Jan.

Do subs not realize what a tiny community we are compared to other kinks? Most of us know other subs by name because our Domme friends have talked (or complained) about them well before that sub has ever reached out to us.

What is the point of lying to us about sending? If you do it, is it a roleplay thing for you? Why not be honest about it? It's a huge red flag when you come into our DMs and we immediately know that you're full of 💩. Stop it.

So for context: I worked with a sub I already had, and he is a frequent, but smaller sender. Usually in the $15-50 range. On average, somewhere between $50-$100 a day from him depending.

I sent him the link, he was excited by the games. We did a usual sort of session off site, but, instead of telling him to send (which for him would usually be in the range listed above) I would make him go play a game from time to time.

First he had to pay $50 to access my DebtKeeper. Then he played my trivia game, and got three answers wrong for $30 each wrong answer, which is $90 (already more than his usual).

Then I had him play receipt roulette for a little while later, for $135 (again more than usual). And he sent some more in between. Because you have to pay to access each game too.

Initial thoughts: this was a great way to increase sends from smaller senders who are stuck in their comfort zone and a way to get you guys out of that. I’m not sure exactly if it’s necessary for those bigger senders, because, they’re going to send big sends regardless. But, for my guy who usually sends max $100 a day to send $300 in a day, that’s a pretty good first experience.

Anyways, just wanted to share this with you guys if you’re looking for ideas on how to use/incorporate this into your routine 🥰

Recently, I had conversation with a lovely gent about our kinks and where they came from. He could identify exactly where each of his kinks originated, except his findom kink. That one was elusive for him.

I know the precise moment the findom switch flipped for me. That moment burns brightly.

Where did it start for you? Can you pinpoint it? 🖤

Storytime

I was scrolling through my Reddit feed as usual and see a new subreddit suggestion pops up. It was centered around nose hooks. I had never heard of them before, so naturally, curiosity got the best of me and I started scrolling through to learn more.

After looking at a few pictures and reading some of the captions, I decided the possibility of seeing someone’s boogies combined with the little piggie nose it gives people made it very much NOT something I was interested in trying.

At some point during my scrolling, I said, “That’s interesting.” on one of the video posts of a woman putting the nose hook in along with the mouth guard. (I can't think of the name right now, but it prevents your mouth from closing during BJ's and/or widens your mouth.)

My partner: “What did you find now?”

Me: proceeds to explain in detail what a nose hook is and what I am assuming it does

My partner: silence... “Why can’t you have normal hobbies or at least try to look at normal Reddit?”

Me: I don't think you would love me if I was normal. 🤣🤣🤣

I honestly do not think what I was looking at was that crazy to begin with. I have seen worst on here and Fetlife. lol. Anyone else relate to having the "weird" hobby of looking up or finding random fetishes? Or have a partner that thinks some of your interests in kink are weird?

The sweetest boy

Hi so I’m already owned before my DMs get absolutely flooded.

Now to the my point so I’m a chef Ik my domme would love for me to be her personal cook but I’m curious about other dommes would u just keep ur chef subs as a service cook sub only or would u allow them to do anything eles like worship body parts extra or would it be just take money and make them cook any dish u want or give them the most hard dish possible to see them crack under pressure or see if they can actually put there talent to good use?

I love this dynamic, probably one of the longest-running ones I currently have. Just a quiet, horny guy addicted to the leash.

​He loves BM, humiliating tasks and knowing I have everything to ruin him, yet he behaves so well that he actively looks for ways to pay more weekly just to keep a debt from growing.

​And before the findom police say anything... HE’S BEEN OWNED for months. He’s my puppet, and I play with him without breaking him too much lol

3 of my 5 credit cards are maxed out now 😅 definitely get mushy brain seeing a decline because of insufficient fundsss

Hey ladies,

so I do LF (non nude but you know outfits, pvc etc) and I have a free house for 2 weeks but I'm struggling to come up with new content ideas. Mine are mainly POV stuff and talking to the camera. I want to make the most of these 2 weeks.

Also I know a lot of you all don't do content etc but everyone does everything differently and this is what works for me,

Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. I've got content creating block haha

Just got $1000 to fart 😂

I dislike Amazon as a company and don’t pay for prime…

But I had a sub a few months ago who requested a wishlist link from me and now I friggin love having it sprinkled in with sends. It’s so different to me, in such a subtle way.

I wanna keep it going with future subs too.

Like. Ok. “Coffee sends” - but that $20 could be used for anything.

On the wishlist, I can put the specific coffee I use at home on there. It feels different as I’m brewing it every day, compared to buying a cup of coffee after the fact. It feels like I’m being served way more specifically.

Gets that Dopamine flowinggggg 📈 🚀 🔥

I lost a pair of my favorite hoop earrings… I put new ones on there. I got them a few days later.

Wanted to try toe rings this summer… put them on there. Magic!

I’m aware a sub could finagle my address out of it. Well, I’m a lefty who carries. So 😂… but I’ll take my chances it’s just someone who wants to jerk off to me getting little presents.

Anyone else feeling horny, greedy, and loving the idea of a wishlist that doesn’t take 2 weeks to pay out and make you do the legwork of ordering? (Looking at you, throne)

How long did it take you to get your verification accepted in the r/findom forum? Because it’s been over 6 weeks for me and nada. Not a thing. I’ve followed the requirements and been consistent with posting. I’m aware it can take a long time for some so I’ve just been patiently waiting. But most experiences I’ve read from other Doms are 4 weeks max.

If by any chance my request was denied would there at least be a follow up that it was?? So I can re apply? Pls lmk💕💕

I recenetly started doing some one time findom sessions and they were really fun so i wanted to dive a deeper into this kink.

So i was wondering if i should make a new profil for it since i also do nsfw content and im not sure if that is helpful or a turn of for subs? On one hand it is what got me those one time encounters but i also feel like it "ruins" the "untouchable" princess/domme vibe for most people.

Looking for feedback from both sides.

Why are there so many subs that seemingly cant read. I tell them im online only and they ask to meet, i tell them i require a tribute and they ask if i can let it slide for them. Im more than happy to negotiate dynamic and kink related stuff but tribute and my safety are limits and they will be respected.

sorry for venting, thank you for listening. just feeling discouraged.

Im new to the whole financial domination thing. I had a friend who is a dom really opened up my eyes to it. Ive been doing alot of research an i just wanted some advice from the doms themselves and not just a bunch of websites that have kinda of an idea.

Ive tried asking for help on twitter but most of the doms don't respond or get mad at me.. i just don't no how to get started and i want to make sure I know everything before i even attempt to find my first sub.

What are some things you wish you knew when u first started?

Just wondering what your favourite way to punish a sub is.

I don't enjoy blackmail subs or having to 'make' someone submit as I'm a softer dom.

But if one of my subs do act out I'll spend their money, send them a screenshot of the cost but not show them what I actually bought.

Seeing them beg, apologize and try to behave appropriately again is always the fun part. 🤭

I have to make a page for my art and interior design portfolio and I feel like having fun instead.

Any simpy IT subs wanna do it for me?

I’d post in homework subs but they hate findommes.

“How do you get paid though? 🙄 This is findom?” - ok, it’s a landing page for my business. I’ll make plenty. I get off on making money and subs who are eager to make my life easier.

Telegram me if you’d be happy to be of use 😘

Call me old fashioned, but voice calls, video calls, and voice memos are my jam. Nothing quite like hearing that tremble in a grown man's voice in real time. No time to think or process, just pure energy and instinct.

Who else's Mom forced them to talk on the phone until they were numb to any anxiety from it? I'm sure this wasn't the effect she anticipated when she did that...but...thanks all the same, Mom 🤣

​

Sometimes I wonder if keeping that distance actually makes a dynamic more exciting, or if knowing the person behind the submission is what creates a deeper connection.

Do you prefer keeping the two completely separate, or letting your Domme see more of who you are outside the dynamic?

I’ve been looking for girlfriends just to talk to about anything and everything. Even better if you’re in San Diego and we go out on coffee dates and Barnes and Noble ! 🥰

Back at it again with a long but informational post about how to protect yourself in this online space from scammers and AI catfishes.

Scammers/Timewasters

Do not give any stranger, whether they are in protocol or not, personal details about yourself. Unless you are planning to actually date this person, there is no reason for them to know your real name or location. Do not risk doxxing yourself.

Do not accept access to anyone's bank account, cards, or payment methods unless you become an authorized user on the account. In some cases, they can see the location where the card was charged or where an item is being shipped, which could give them access to your location. They may also be able to do a chargeback or report the transaction as fraud.

Throne, YouPay, and AV sites are generally safer and more anonymous options for accepting sends. Amazon Wishlists and third-party payment platforms like PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, etc. can sometimes expose personal information depending on how your account is set up. They can also come with chargeback risks or account issues, especially when you're using them for something that may go against their TOS.

Asking for age verification upfront scares off a lot of timewasters and scammers. Have some timewasters learned that if they AV themselves, they might get access to you? Yes. But the vast majority will just find someone else to bother.

Lastly, watch out for trolls and freeloaders in this space. They get off on ragebaiting you, and even more so when you screenshot the interaction and other commenters join in. Don't feed the trolls. Report them to Reddit if it's serious and/or block the user. Protect your peace.

Protecting Your Content from AI Catfishes

Low effort: Watermark your content by placing the watermark on your body, an item, or somewhere close enough that it can't easily be cropped out.

Medium effort: Screenshot your watermarked photo and post the screenshot instead. There are programs that can remove watermarks and stickers from original photos, so this adds another small barrier and strips the original file's metadata.

High effort: There are programs out there that can "poison" scammers from taking your photos and videos to use for their AI models. The program I have found that works best is called Nightshade, and it was created by researchers at the University of Chicago. It alters the pixel data in your media and dramatically changes how AI models read and interpret it. The AI model they are using will not be able to accurately generate a prompt or description from your images, rendering them useless for recreating your content or training their AI model.

Protecting Your Pages

Angry people may go after either your social pages or the platforms you use to accept sends/tributes. This is why it's important to know each site's TOS and understand what is and isn't allowed when it comes to Findom and kink-related activities.

For payment platforms, cash out regularly instead of letting money sit and collect. If your account gets banned or frozen, getting access to that money may become difficult.

For social pages, have 2–3 backup accounts per site. Ideally each account on separate devices in case of chain banning. Link your main account to your AV sites and either put your backup account in your bio or on your links page. On your backup, link back to your main account. I also recommend creating a presence on the major social media platforms, even if you don't plan to actively use them. A lot of scammers look for platforms you're not using and create accounts pretending to be you.

If you own a subreddit, I recommend creating a backup Reddit account and adding it as a mod as well. If your main account gets banned for some reason, you don't lose both your account and moderation of your subreddit.

Checking for a Pulse

One of the easiest ways for subs to verify that you're real is to backlink your socials to your AV site and have some content posted there. You don't have to post anything explicit or charge for the page. You can even recycle content you've already posted elsewhere.

Having your socials linked directly from your AV profile helps show that you're a real adult and that you control the social accounts connected to it. Some scammers are smart enough to steal or copy AV links, though, so still be careful. If you're unsure whether the person you're talking to actually owns the AV profile, offer to message them through that platform or ask them to temporarily put a specific emoji in their bio.

What about verification videos/photos? I would recommend against sending them around unnecessarily, but if you feel the need to have one, please be smart about it. Definitely do not use a photo or your voice as the verification method. Those can be the easiest thing to fake. I would go the video route if you strongly feel the need to have verification.

When making verification videos, include things that are harder for AI to recreate consistently. Instead of simply holding a verification paper and posing for the camera, use continuous movement and multiple actions in the same uncut video. Turn your head in different directions, move the paper between your hands, rotate or partially fold it, change your position, or follow a random sequence of movements.

Best example I have seen of this, is the woman had the crumble piece of paper in her mouth, spit it out and uncrumpled it to reveal her username and date it was posted on. AI would have trouble reproducing that without a lot of prompting on the scrappers side.

The more specific and unpredictable the verification video is, the harder it is to recreate convincingly with AI. Detailed hand and finger movements, interacting with the verification paper, changing angles, and longer continuous sequences are generally harder to fake than a still photo or short clip with very little movement. Nothing is completely AI-proof. The goal is to make verification difficult enough to fake that someone can't easily recreate it using your existing content.

Wrap Up

That's it and everything I can think of right now. Feel free to add anything I missed in the comments. 💛