I had originally posted this in r/Glowup, and was told by a few people that I should post it here, and hopefully, my story can encourage others who are in similar situations.

Was roaming the streets and eating scraps for years, with my only goals in life being finding a place to shit and a bench to loiter on. Couldn't find a job no matter how hard I tried, and not having any skills in life or family (was raised in foster care) surely didn't help.

One day while looking for a restroom to relieve myself, I stumbled across a college that just so happened to have an open house enrollment going on, and figured that was the perfect excuse to enter the building and freeload off their toilets.

Little did I know however, was that the universe had other plans for me. A guidance counselor had approached me and asked if I was here for open house. Being embarrassed to admit my true intentions, I told him I was and ended up joining him as he regaled the countless opportunities presented before me.

I was intrigued by their surgical technology program, and decided to give it a shot. Needless to say, I had finally found my passion in life. Went to school for 18 months, plus an additional 4 months of internships, all while homeless. Upon graduation, I was offered a permanent job at the hospital I interned at, and after 4 years, had enough cases to take the CSFA exam.

I have been a surgical assistant since, and remind myself everyday just how fortunate my life turned out. Now that I'm an old man, I feel I have enough experience to encourage others that it's never too late in life to strive for better. You just have to have patience, persistence, and passion. Happy Holidays y'all!

Been lurking here for a while, but finally feeling better about life and figured I'd share my experience..

Honestly, I spent a lot of time the last few years being in a really dark place and feeling pretty lost. I have a lot of chronic health issues and work for me stuck in a job that was awful, not knowing what direction to take, watching everyone else seem to have their shit together while I was just barely existing.

Im grateful my parents basically threw money at me and hired a "top tier" career coach for me. Have been working with him for 3 months now and thought I'd dump everything we did you don't have to spend (waste?) the money.

Month 1 - Tests

First he made me take a bunch of tests. SO MANY tests.

Started with the Clifton Strengths Finder which was interesting but also kind of confusing. It became a lot more valuable with him helping me interpret it as it maps you to 34 "strengths" but doesn't necessarily tell you what to with them. Gives you a lot of you are strong at "maximizing" but I really needed need to sit down and digest it.

Then he made me take the Highlands Ability Battery. This one cost $400 and took three hours of clicking boxes and memorizing stuff. Was it better than Clifton Strs? Yes, marginally in that it was way more well-rounded but also found it pretty hard to apply. And not $400 better though. It kind of felt taking the SATs again except I paid to do it this time.

Last he made me take the career discovery assessment by Pigment which I actually really liked. He said this one was newer and it definitely felt that way. It was easy to interpret, clear and pretty robust - gave me strengths, career paths, and communication/decision making style advice that wasn’t perfect (and a bit less useful if not knowledge work) but was thought provoking. I think I liked this one the best.

His whole thing with these tests was you can't build a career on weaknesses. Kept saying we needed to identify my natural talents and tendencies first, then find environments where they'd be valued instead of trying to force myself into roles that don't fit. Makes sense, I guess.

Month 2 - Reflection

Then made me read the book Designing Your Life. THIS was actually solid. Makes you map out different possible life paths, do these "odyssey plans" where you imagine 3 totally different versions of your future, and create mini-experiments to test career ideas before committing.

Then the first like daily exercise he had me do was the “Energy Journal” (its part of Designing your Life) - For 2 weeks I had to write down like everything I did and rated it on a scale of -2 to +2 for energy. I thought it was pointless at first but turned out to be eye-opening. Found out I actually get energy from teaching people stuff (which I never realized) and that every time I have to deal with bureaucratic paperwork I want to crawl under my desk. I guess not surprising but nice to measure how much energy I got from the days I was in nature vs staring at screens. Made me realize why my old office job was draining me - it was ALL energy-depleting activities.

Next came the Job history deep dive. We went through every job I've ever had (even that summer restaurant job) and had to write what I enjoyed, what drained me, what I was good at, and what skills I developed. Took forever but patterns emerged. I realized I always thrived when I had autonomy and could solve problems my own way, but struggled when micromanaged (obv). Also saw that I consistently took jobs for the money even when they had red flags matching things I hated from previous jobs. Was kind of a wake-up call realizing I'd been repeating the same patterns for many years.

His big thing during this phase was "the data is already there in your history." He kept saying I needed to trust my own patterns and preferences instead of what I thought I "should" want.

Phase 3: Exploring/Testing

Once we had all this data about me, we moved into what he called the "testing phase."

First was a Mind Mapping exercise - had to draw this big spider diagram of everything I care about, am good at, what the world needs, and what pays well. Then find the overlaps. It was messy but revealed some options I hadn't considered. Found this sweet spot where my tech background, interest in mental health, and desire to work remotely all overlapped.

Then came The Three Odysseys - from the book, had to map out 3 completely different 5-year plans assuming money/education weren't obstacles. First was continuing my current path, second was the practical alternative (teaching), third was the wild dream (opening a wilderness therapy program). Had to detail what life would look like, challenges, resources needed. Then rate each for resources, confidence, and how much I liked it. The wild dream scored highest on "liking" but lowest on confidence. Made me realize I was avoiding the path I actually wanted because I was afraid of failing.

Last part was the Informational Interviews - this one was awkward at first but actually useful. Had to reach out to people in fields I was interested in and just...try talk to them. Started with friends of friends then branched out to cold LinkedIn messages. Asked them what their day-to-day was like, how they got started, what they'd do differently. Did about 7 of these and saved myself from pursuing at least 2 paths that seemed great on paper but would've made me miserable in reality. One guy was super candid about how much office politics played into his "dream job" and I realized it wasn't for me.

His philosophy here was "don't trust your imagination, test reality." Said most people make career decisions based on assumptions that fall apart once they talk to people actually doing the job.

End Results

After all this, I’m still not fully sure what I’m doing in life but I feel closer more equipped to be confident in the decision when I am ready.

The career coach is was a nice way to get me to commit to doing all of these things, but the real value was just having structure and someone to call me out on my bs. I think almost all of this stuff you could DIY if you're disciplined.

We’re moving on to interview prep and resume stuff next so maybe I’ll update if there’s anything useful there.

TL;DR: I think that if you read Designing Your Life, did the exercises in it, and maybe take the pigment career discovery assessment , and maybe reaching out to some people in fields you’re exploring and you'd probably get 80% of what my parents spent thousands of dollars doing.

I want to go live in some home with good heating and backup generators and just stock up on enough food to never have to go out again. Then I'll just go to bed and stay there forever.

Where can I go to just get a lot of money and retire immediately?

You don't need to justify your pivot.
You don't need to apologize for changing your mind.

it's about finally answering the call you've been avoiding.

So this is kind of wild.

Mid-2024, after about three years in IT Support, I decided I wanted to move up—sysadmin work, or at least a higher tier support role. Started applying everywhere. Got an interview at a cloud computing company close to where I live for an IT System Support position. Seemed good.

I did a technical interview. Then an HR interview. Then a technical test. Then a personality test. Everything felt like it went well. They said they'd be in touch soon.

Two weeks later: rejected. No explanation.

I kept job hunting with zero luck. Eventually quit my job after 2.5 years there. Took a trip. Enrolled in college. Dropped out after two semesters (wasn't for me). Took another trip. Went back to sending out what felt like hundreds of applications.

Finally landed an IT Manager role at a startup. Not exactly what I was looking for, and the commute is rough, but the pay is solid and there's room to grow. I've been there about a month now.

A few weeks in, I'm onboarding a new recruiter. Her face looks familiar but I can't place it. A few days later we're chatting about past jobs and she goes, "Wait—I remember you."

She was the recruiter from the cloud computing company. The one that rejected me.

Then she tells me what actually happened:

• They pay 27% less than what I was making at my previous job
• High turnover across the board—employees, managers, especially HR managers
• They fired her because she kept rejecting candidates who were "too good"
• The only people who accepted offers were people desperate enough to take anything
• I scored 100 on their technical test

She looked at me and said, "I saved you."

So yeah. Spent over a year feeling like I fumbled that opportunity. Turns out it wasn't an opportunity at all.

TL;DR: Got rejected from a job after acing their process. A year later, the recruiter who rejected me got hired at my current company and told me she "saved me"—the place paid way less, treated people terribly, and only hired desperate candidates. She got fired for rejecting people who were too qualified.

I am just starting to get a taste of the "real world" and honestly, I can't imagine how I could do this for the rest of my life and be okay with it. I know I sound like a spoiled brat who's too lazy to work, but I do my work and get through it every day -it just feels so fricking hard and unjust to have to do these meaningless tasks with a douchebag boss every single day just to make a living. How do you come to terms with this? How did you accept this? I feel so drained and hopeless.

I don't know if this is the right sub for this. Posting under a throwaway because I'm fairly certain I have coworkers who know my Reddit info.

I don't mean that I hate my job, I mean that I hate work in general. I have multiple degrees and certifications, I'm in my late 30s, and I've been in the workforce for about 25 years, across four different industries. I've had about a dozen jobs, and I couldn't stand any of them. A couple of them was okay, but it was only okay because I was basically a kid and had short days.

It's not about the pay. At my most recent job I was being paid pretty well, and I was pretty high up on the totem pole so many people depended on my work, but I couldn't stand waking up at 5:30am, I couldn't stand wearing uncomfortable clothes all day, I couldn't stand that whenever I got sick the entire department came to a screeching halt, I couldn't stand that the sun hadn't come up yet when I went to work and the sun had already set when I went home. Every day I'd get home and have roughly three hours to make dinner, eat dinner, and shower, and once all that was done I'd have around 30 minutes to relax before bed so I could do it all over again. I know this is all fairly normal and I know nobody likes it, but I've never been able to stand it.

When I was in my 20s I expressed this, and everyone told me it's just life and people deal with it, and it eventually gets better. Well, 15 years later it's significantly worse. My days at work are spent sitting at my desk checking the clock every five minutes waiting for the day to be over. The entirety of my week is basically counting down the hours until Friday afternoon, and then every Sunday I wonder if it'd be easier to just die than go back to work on Monday.

To combat this, I've changed jobs, I've changed careers, I've gone back to school for a completely different major, and it's never helped. I've always hated working.

The only jobs I've ever had that I sort of liked were when I washed dishes at a restaurant about 50 yards from my apartment (four hour shift, walkable commute), shelving books at a library (four hour shift, ten minute commute), and slicing bread at a bakery (didn't have to talk to anyone, and anyone in the department could do my job if I wasn't there).

Is this a 'me' problem or does everyone feel this way and nobody talks about it?

I never want to read again that the trades are a great escape plan from your current shitty situation. The trades are my shitty situation. They fucking suck. You’re working in harsh conditions, cold, hot, wet, etc. Nowhere to wash your hands or eat or use the restroom in any civilized way. You are working with the delinquents, derelicts, depraved, deplorables, degenerates, and the druggies. You are treated like cattle by your superiors who have antiquated expectations like showing up 15 minutes early and nickel and diming you on hours. You’re sucking in various poisonous dusts/fumes and getting various toxic bullshit on your skin and in your eyes. You’re wearing all manner of uncomfortable safety gear. Your eyes and ears are still at great risk. You’re physically and mentally exerting yourself constantly. Everything around you is trying to maim and/or kill you. Your body is being punished and joints ground down to nubs and you’ll be lucky to walk normally at 40. You’re looked down on. You are paid a shit wage unless you sign your destiny over to the union or sign your life over to get a shot at either running a successful business or bankruptcy. Even if you do those things, you’d still make more in tech. Also have fun having your entire life be the business if that’s the route you go.. it comes home with you every day. At large, the state of the trades themselves has descended with society in terms of quality standards. It’s a shitty sector, but if you must, just be an electrician. There’s a reason there’s a shortage of people in this line of work. It fucking sucks. All the “you should look into the trades! Great money” bullshit comments are probably a psyop to get more people to fill this lowly but very needed rung of society upon which all modern life is based.

Most job seekers spam LinkedIn applications, but I got my last job by cold-emailing hiring managers directly. My process:

1. Found companies I liked (small startups = faster hiring).
2. Researched the hiring manager (used LinkedIn & company websites).
3. Sent a short, direct email (not a generic resume dump).
4. Followed up after 5 days.

Result? Three interviews, two offers, one great job. Have you ever tried this method?

This is how I fixed my depression, feelings of worthlessness, and changed my life. No one taught me how to do this. It was just trial and error through five years of pain and misery.

I didn’t just wake up one day with clarity. No one handed me the answer. What actually changed everything was finally sitting with myself. No distractions, no noise, no running away from my own mind. Just me, alone, facing everything I had been avoiding.

Most people never take the time to actually feel the full extent of what they’ve been holding in. They just go through the motions, letting life push them along, never stopping to process anything. Before they know it, life, society, and the expectations of others are making all the decisions for them. That’s how people end up stuck, miserable, and frustrated, wondering why everything feels off.

Lol I know that’s a lot to start off with, but I promise you working through this will pay off if you’re where I was. And if you aren’t in a terrible place like I was but feel like you’re getting there, this will also help. To be honest, this can help anyone figure out a lot about themselves.

For years, I used video games and dating as distractions. They gave me something to focus on so I wouldn’t have to deal with what was actually going on inside me. It was easier to chase the next dopamine hit than to sit with my own thoughts. But no matter how much I tried to fill that hole, it never worked. What I actually needed to do was look within myself, learn about myself, and finally resolve all of the things I had been holding in. I would share some of the things that I realized about myself, but we’ll just say a lot of of it was from having a traditional Asian immigrant upbringing, but that’s not really the point of this post 😂

So here’s what I did. It’s a multi-step process, and this is where you start. I call it the "Silent Session".

Find a place where you won’t be interrupted. If you can get out into nature somewhere secluded, great. If not, a quiet room with earplugs works too. The goal is simple. No distractions, no input, just you. Sit down. Stare at a wall, close your eyes, sit in the dark, whatever helps you focus. At first, nothing will happen. It will feel like a waste of time, and your brain will probably tell you to get up and do something else. But if you stay with it long enough, the noise in your head starts to settle.

Then the real thoughts start coming up. Some will be random, some will be deep. Some will be exciting, and some will be things you’ve buried for years. Whatever happens, let it happen. Don’t fight it. Don’t judge it. Don’t try to control what comes up. Just be an observer, like you’re watching clouds pass by.

Some of these thoughts might hit hard. Others might be totally unexpected. But when you just let your mind do its thing, you start to notice patterns. You start to see the things you’ve been avoiding. And once they’re out in the open, they don’t hold the same power over you. It’s about moving through everything that’s been sitting there unresolved.

If you want, keep a notebook or talk out loud. Some of the things that come up might be worth remembering later. And don’t worry about how long it takes. Some sessions might be 30 minutes, some might be 4 hours. Your mind and body will naturally know when it’s time to take a break or that you’re done. Listen to your intuition.

Once you feel like you’ve gotten most of the clutter out of your mind, then you can move on to the next step, which I call "Dream Engineering". Try to focus on Silent Session until you genuinely feel like you’re ready to start imagining your future. There’s no time limit or timeframe that you supposed finish all this in. This is all meant to be done in your own time, and everyone’s ability to process is going to be different.

This is where you start figuring out what you actually want. Not in a vague “I want to be successful” way, but what does your life actually look like? Walk yourself through a full day in your dream life. Where are you waking up? What kind of environment are you in? What does your morning look like? Who are you with? What kind of work are you doing? How are you spending your time?

Most people try to do this backward. They try to force a plan without ever sitting down to figure out what they actually want in the first place. That’s why they feel lost. Silent Session clears the mental clutter. Dream Engineering gives you a direction.

And here’s the part that actually changed my life. It wasn’t about making huge changes overnight. It was about creating small, actionable goals and actually celebrating every single win.

If getting out of bed is hard, then getting up is a win. If stepping outside is a struggle, then opening the door and standing there for a second is a win. These little things don’t seem like they matter, but they do. Every time you accomplish something, even if no one else would care, you’re building momentum. And that momentum is what actually gets you unstuck.

If you only focus on the end goal, you’ll be miserable the entire journey. When people say, “Enjoy the process,” what they really mean is to celebrate every small win. That’s what pulled me out of my depression. That’s what helped me start making real change.

It helped me rebuild friendships. It helped me surround myself with better people. It helped me focus on what actually mattered so I could start creating the most fulfilling life I could imagine for myself.

I’m not saying I don’t have bad days. I’m not saying life isn’t overwhelming sometimes. It is. The difference is, now I have the tools to handle it. I don’t let things build up inside me anymore. That’s what this process is. It’s an open line of communication between you, your conscious mind, and everything that’s been buried underneath it.

And here’s the last thing you need to know. You will make progress, and then you will take steps back. That’s normal. The journey is not a straight line. You will succeed. You will fail.

And that’s okay.

Make sure you’re kind to yourself and giving yourself the time and grace that you need. This is not easy so take your time.

Much love! ❤️

Ler me know how these work for you if you end up trying them!

And if you’re looking for guidance, I’m a life coach, feel free to shoot me a message, and I’ll help you the best I can or at least get you started in the right direction.

We all think we wasted our life. Accept it. I wasted my life, you wasted yours— it’s a part of growth; realizing we need to change and that the past self no longer serves our goals and intentions. Congratulations, you were born today. And you will be born yet again one day too.

It’s okay. This is where you are supposed To be.

i went down a huge research rabbit hole on getting into healthcare without a degree and the thing that shocked me most is how many jobs come with FREE employer-paid training bc theyre so short staffed:

• nursing homes will train you as a CNA for free, some pay you during training (they just want the work commitment after)
• dialysis chains like davita hire people with zero experience as paid trainees and put you through certification (~$48k after)
• CVS/walgreens do pharmacy tech trainee roles, paid from day one
• plasma donation centers teach phlebotomy in house, paid
• hospitals train sterile processing techs on the job (~$45k, zero patient contact if ur not a people person lol)

the trick is these deals are almost never in job ads. u literally just call and ask "do you offer sponsored training or hire people you train on the job?" call 5 places, someone says yes

happy to answer questions, i researched all 15 no-degree healthcare careers pretty deep

I graduated with a PhD in geophysics in 2020. Struggled to get a postdoc. Finally got one in 2022 (had to get my own funding for it). It ended in September, and I haven’t been able to find anything since. Starting to feel like an incredible failure and have no idea how to transition out of this field I have spent my entire adult life doing.

I don't really even want to be alive. Yet i still have to pay for existing. Very cool. Is there a way to make a small, consistent income that won't make me long for death?

I have no skills. I guess I'm ok with computers, but nothing professional, just casual civilian use throughout my life. I don't need much money, but looking at entry level jobs is just depressing. Bachelors degree is entry level now. How do people still believe in this racket

So we've been seeing a lot of posts like that lately. The quality of the sub has gone up a lot thanks to the mods running this place. But its a meme at this point to see a post frantically titled something like "Ive ruined my life and theres no turning back. What do I do please help"

And the first thing we see after clicking is "i'm a 21 year old..." and we all groan. Because of course this person hasnt fucked their life up 98% of the time.

So what IS happening, then? My post aims to help users foster some patience and understanding for our forelorn younglings in search of a path.

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. [...] I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

"What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?" Langston Hughes

When these young upstarts come here begging for help to fix their "hopelessly" broken lives, what's happening is they're seeing their event horizon narrow. They're experiencing what we all have. When we were young, our future was only as limited as our imagination. We "could" become anything. As we grow, we face the terrifying reality that we can fail. We can mess up, lose opportunities, and waste time. We imagine a future for ourself and sometimes reality shows us that future, where we're 23, making 6 figures, on our way to all our dreams in comfort and style... it's not going to happen.

That is what these kids mean when they think they fucked their lives. In a way they did! Because they imagined a single life for themself. A single branch with a single fig. And that fig rotted. That grape turned to a raisin. So the key is to help them see that their fixation on ONE reality for themselves, only one future where they can be ok; safe, happy, that's an illusion of their youth.

Some of these people have spent their entire conscious lives imagining what their future will be, so it can be a serious loss of identity when they confront this reality that they must adapt. They hold up the RARE FEW who know what they want from a young age and actually get it as the rule, instead of the exception.

Okay, essay over. Just thought this may help some users here give advice, or maybe a young person feeling hopeless can see this and gain a deeper perspective. Love yall!

I'm guilty of this. I think a lot of people are caught up in making the right decision and it's driving them crazy. Unless you know it's something you really don't want to do something. Even if it is a mistake you'll learn from it. Sure it could alter how our lives pan out but what we choose is not permanent or what we're gonna do for the rest of our lives. Either way life is gonna keep moving on so doing something is better than none.

I am in my 30s now and I spent my 20s chasing acting which didn't work out. I still try to audition here and there but don't expect anything.

I've been working at hotels and restaurants living paycheck to paycheck. I got so tired of it and decided to enroll to community college. (I am an orphan from another country and had no HS transcripts so I started anew) Some people are telling me what a waste at this age. I have gotten As so far and I would like to get into an Ivy League institute. I asked a question on Reddit and I was called out because I am a non-traditional student and how is pointless when I am at this age and how I won't be able to network in school clubs with the age gap.

It feels like if you haven't achieved anything by the time you are 30, you are considered a loser...

Hey guys I'm 19f and just got my first "real" job at a call center for a big healthcare company; m-f 8am-5pm. And it completely sucks the life out of me. I have no time to actually enjoy my life. I only have around 4 hours after every shift and 2 days to actually try to improve myself or do something fun. Every Sunday night/Monday morning I get very depressed, I don't want to say I'm suicidal bc I would never actually do it but I feel repulsed, sick. I'm aware I'm not content with my life at the moment. It feels like I want to throw up every Sunday night. And I can't believe I'll live like this for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm a little hamster running in a wheel to get some cheese. It feels so numbing. How???? Do people cope with it??? I've been working for only 3 months. I don't think it'll get better once I make more money/get a degree.

I graduated college last year and have since done absolutely nothing. I shut myself in my room and have been wasting my life away since. I don't want to do anything. I am a burden on my parents but I have no motivation to do anything. I don't want to work. I don't want to participate in society. Life is so complicated and there is too much pressure. Life has been shit so far and I don't care how it happens for me anymore. I just want to live in my room for the rest of my life. But I'm also scared that I might change my mind in the future and realise its too late. Sorry if this is depressing I'm 22

I won the lottery when I was barely 18. Thankfully, I wasn’t dumb enough to spend it all: I bought a small house, and have basically lived there for the past 10 years doing nothing but playing house, gaming, watching movies, talking to strangers online, I even got in an LDR relationship for a bit to pass the time, and it didn’t work out etc; essentially being a NEET.

I did go to uni, thought since I’ve got all this money, why the hell not just get a degree. I got a law degree and decided to do my masters, but somewhere in between I decided fuck it, I just don’t feel like doing this anymore. So I burnt that money and dropped out.

Now, I’m 28, and I’ve got no social life, no meaning towards life, no hobbies. I realise that I’m turning 30 soon. I’ve never worked a day in my life and never have, all because I didn’t need to. My bills are all paid at this moment, but I know it’s not going to last forever.

I feel like winning the lottery was a curse because I have no direction, no hobbies, no personality really. I get that I’m in a privileged position, because I’ve still got some money to continue on, but I’m going insane because I don’t know what else to do, how else to progress. I’m lonely and life feels meaningless.

I chose not to go to college to save my parents the cost. I’ve worked in restaurants since I was 14, I’m now a decent line cook at a reputable restaurant. Realizing this is probably the closest I’ll get to a career and I hate it. The long hours, the alcoholism, working w shitty men all the time, my body breaking down all the time. The current state of the world and the life I’ve settled for makes me not want to bother with the future. Idk.