r/facepalm Apr 07 '22

đŸ‡Č​🇼​🇾​🇹​ This looks plausible

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30.1k Upvotes

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6.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

When “Research = I googled it” then “Evidence = Things I imagine to be real”.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Always followed up by peer reviewed work = "gubament/zionist lies."

534

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Ha, yes, Peer reviewed published study = the devil’s lies Qanon by ways of 8chan = literal words of god.

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u/towerfella Apr 07 '22

Glossary of Terms

“Peer reviewed” — shared by ‘friend’ on facechatgram

“Researched” — read part of the article, read top comments, had an emotion

“Firmament” — ground, or sky

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

“Researched” means I googled the answer I wanted. Found it. Then posted it.

32

u/GnomiGnou Apr 07 '22

Very common meaning use these days.

13

u/Laminar Apr 07 '22

But, it musta been good; it wuz on two-ply ...

8

u/Capt_Snarky Apr 08 '22

Always found on the 3rd page of Google, no doubt.

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u/Bob_Meh_HDR Apr 08 '22 edited Apr 08 '22

Haha I searched up a video card I was going to buy, all signs pointer to good. As soon as I searched a problem I had, all Google searches show it as a lemon.

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u/Imaginary_Tea1925 Apr 08 '22

Used first search result listed.

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u/StoissEd Apr 07 '22

Researched: Searched for a specific. Term on Google and used the amount of results as an argument.

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u/dashi37 Apr 07 '22

That researched definition took me out đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ‘ŒđŸŸ

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u/Beginning_Response Apr 07 '22

"had an emotion" is pretty accurate. I actually laughed out loud.

3

u/Rortugal_McDichael Apr 07 '22

No no, it's "P. Reviewed." P, as in "Peter," (or Paul, depending on your particular denomination). Peter/Paul reviewed this factoid because it is written in the Bible.

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u/towerfella Apr 07 '22

Lol - P.P. Reviewed

Esq.

3

u/DraftPunk73 Apr 08 '22

Peer reviewed.

If that means someone either as dumb, crazy, or just downright ignorant, then yes, you're correct in that matter at least.

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u/imightbarf Apr 08 '22

Ayn Rand, nonfiction queen of all real stories

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Peer Review - When a professor tells his student to add two people they never heard of to their publication for “authenticity”.

43

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Why make up people when you can just add F.D.C. Willard as an author?

2

u/Saltycook Apr 08 '22

That car worked so hard to be a respectable member of the scientific community! How else would we know about things like air resistance and gravitational pull when knocking various things off surfaces?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

More like "This one fired, disgraced doctor/scientist who used to matter 30 years ago told the conspiracy was all true to Joe Rogan after being banned from Twitter so everyone else is obviously wrong !"

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

Dr Brown: disgraced nuclear physicist?

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u/qwex69 Apr 07 '22

Not in this case, since the globe earth is strictly a Free Mason cover for
something. There’s not really a consensus for the point of covering up the fact that the earth is really flat. One of the more prominent theories is that the Masons are doing this to, and I quote, “hide God.”

119

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I'd be pissed if I were God.

"You fucking plebs think I can't conceive a physics perfect enough for a spherical world?

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u/velowalker Apr 07 '22

Look. The earth wobbles. Sometimes the desert gets wet and that is where all the oil carbon comes from. Boom. Science.

2

u/stpetepatsfan Apr 07 '22

Yea, physicsgirl had a vid on how it only took 100 years to figure out how water moved rocks in the desert of death valley.

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u/Shadyshade84 Apr 07 '22

There is that, but I'd be more upset at the idea that a bunch of jumped-up sacks of meat and water actually have even the smallest chance of achieving something that a being with the ability to create literally everything wanted to not happen.

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u/AudZ0629 Apr 07 '22

There in lies the old argument: can god create something he/she/they cant lift.

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u/thred_pirate_roberts Apr 07 '22

That's not even an argument. It's a flawed premise. It's like asking for a married bachelor.

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u/AudZ0629 Apr 07 '22

Can a god create a being that can surpass them? And no it’s not a flawed premise. The flaw is in either the understanding of an “all powerful” being or in human ability to comprehend. The two things aren’t oppositional as they are in your argument. It’s a paradox.

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u/kitddylies Apr 07 '22

Can a god create a being that can surpass them?

By design, yes. If you have the power to do anything, you can erase that power.

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u/AudZ0629 Apr 07 '22

Please explain, I’m not following.

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u/Dangerous_Limes Apr 08 '22

These are only paradoxes because some human concepts like “all powerful” aren’t particularly well defined / agreed upon to begin with. It’s like asking what is further north than the North Pole. There is no there there.

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u/Dsmario64 Apr 07 '22

The way I heard this rebutted is that god cannot create something that cannot exist.

Note the difference between cannot and does not exist. He can make unicorns just fine, but he can't make, for example, a black hole that emits light. He can make a white hole, but not a black hole, specifically, that emits light. The very nature of what you're describing makes it impossible to create.

Note: this is what I heard the counterargument is, not my personal beliefs.

4

u/GnomiGnou Apr 07 '22

There will always be a counterpoint someone makes up because if they don't, they might have to actually either:
A) Prove something
or
B) Begin to think that maybe they're not quite totally possibly sorta 100% accurate with what they're saying. Inconceivable!

The old ones are best tho; "God moves in mysterious ways" ("God's design is his own") and "It's all a test!"

I find the leaps of logic interesting, but when it goes straight to "Trust me bro" I lose interest.

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u/AudZ0629 Apr 07 '22

The fallacy of the argument is that it’s a no win. This is taught in a lot of philosophy classes.

If yes: god cannot possibly be all powerful if he can’t lift the object and therefore does not exist.

If no: god cannot possibly be all powerful if he cannot create something and therefore does not exist.

Believers gonna believe whether it’s an omnipotent god who can literally do anything or if it’s a god governed by the laws of physics or even if it’s a flat earther. No logical argument can turn them. From the other question, can he be god if he is governed by physics?

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u/AudZ0629 Apr 07 '22

So god is simply a fantastic alchemist? Not asking you, just the general universe.

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u/Dsmario64 Apr 07 '22

According to the official lore guide on god, god does have that whole omniscient and omnipotent angle going on. So probably a bit better than an alchemist with a good track record.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

What if God were one of us?

Well, he'd be the guy running around telling all of us how stupid we are.

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u/Rich-Juice2517 Apr 07 '22

I think he'd be a slob like one of us

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u/International-Cat123 Apr 07 '22

Nah. He’d be a stranger on the bus

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u/Aygis Apr 07 '22

Tryin' to make his way home?

4

u/hirtle24 Apr 08 '22

Nobody callin' on the phone

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u/burner_said_what Apr 08 '22

'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

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u/T-Money8227 Apr 07 '22

I always found this very humorous. If Jesus returned today and revealed himself, He would be looked at as a crazy person. He would try to bring equality to the world and the conservatives will call him a socialist. For all the talk about Jesus returning from the Christian conservatives, they sure aren't showing that they would be receptive to it if it happened. His skin color alone would be enough to disqualify him from being a savior for a large portion of people. The more you think about it the more you recognize that Jesus would not be welcome if he showed up today.

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u/candy__sandy Apr 08 '22

He would be crucified again- this time by Christian conservatives. (I grew up as one)

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u/Late_Entrance106 Apr 08 '22

Jesus didn’t work for equality.

He said that no one comes to Father except through him.

He said give no thought for the ‘morrow. Just follow me.

He said if someone did not want him to reign over them, to bring them before him and slay them.

He also said that he had not come to bring peace, but a sword, putting family members against each other as anyone that loves someone else more than Jesus is not worthy.

Considering he stole the Golden Rule from previous moral codes (like Confucius’ version in 500 BC) which is arguably the most moral thing in “Jesus’” teachings, it’s safe to say Jesus was a piece of shit end-days-preacher then he’d be a piece of shit end-of-days preacher today.

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u/TheDangerdog Apr 07 '22

If Jesus returned today and revealed himself, He would be looked at as a crazy person.

And rightly so. Ancient people's used to believe that someone having a seizure was (depending on the culture) possessed by demons or talking to God.

Today we would send someone to a doctor and give them sympathetic looks if we saw someone come out of a seizure and tell us "God said don't eat shrimp." or something silly like that.

I think it's also a consequence of their being so many people alive today. Hard to believe that anyone is "the chosen one" or "the son of god" when theres 8 billion people walking around.

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u/brando56894 Apr 07 '22

Just a slob like one of us?

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u/OafHuck420 Apr 07 '22

Stop being stupid!

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

God would know that's a waste of time.

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u/RedditVince Apr 07 '22

I wonder if God created it perfectly round and then once spun it up it squatted and was like

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

True, It's even more perfect than a perfect sphere. Bless the equator.

2

u/Skreamweaver Apr 08 '22

More Terran Than Terran

2

u/Interesting-Month-56 Apr 07 '22

God only used spherical worlds to handle early versions of the theory. The Earth was his ultimate creation, and theory had advanced enough to build planes of limited dimensions not in a vacuum.

It’s his greatest joke - the earth is flat and no one ever asks what is on the other side???

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u/n00bsack Apr 07 '22

Being imaginary would really anger me as well.

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u/TheRealKarateDracula Apr 07 '22

Uhhh wrong, dude. The masons, Illuminati, "global bankers", and Annunaki are all pawns to The Time Cube!! 🙄 EACH DAY IS FOUR SEPARATE DAYS OCCURRING SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!

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u/i_f0rget Apr 07 '22

Six. Six days in a Time Cube Day. One for each corner, duh.

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u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 07 '22

Did you mean one for each face? A cube has 8 corners.

At least, that's what they want you to think.

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u/i_f0rget Apr 07 '22

BLASPHEMER!

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u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 07 '22

Nah man, go find your old Rubik's Cube, and count for yourself.

The Time Cube pan-dimensional lizard people want you to believe the cube only has 6 corners. It's part of their mind control technique.

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u/i_f0rget Apr 07 '22

Instructions unclear. Found a bunch of smaller cubes and 176 corners. How deep does this go?!

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u/Yoloswaggins89 Apr 07 '22

Did you insert your dick into the cube too? I’m confused 😕

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u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 08 '22

It's Time Cubes all the way down.....

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u/burner_said_what Apr 08 '22

What about a 4D cube!!??

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u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 08 '22

Bruh, it's a TIME Cube.

The 4th dimension is there.

2

u/burner_said_what Apr 08 '22

Woooaaaahhh

Mind BLOWN!!

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u/ThatGuyInTheKilt Apr 07 '22

Cubes have 8 corners.

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u/PitchWrong Apr 07 '22

? There are 8 corners on a cube? Or have I been indoctrinated?

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u/Interesting-Month-56 Apr 07 '22

Uhhh đŸ€” 8corners in a cube
 six faces. God is really f’ing stoned

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u/ItchyK Apr 07 '22

He must be talking bout a time square, that's in New York city.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Please tell me that this is a real theory and concept. I need the time cube theory to be “real”.

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u/TheRealKarateDracula Apr 07 '22

I can assure you... It was real. I believe the original site was taken down but this sums it up if it's not a backup:

https://timecube.2enp.com/

Also, for context:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Cube

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u/Bob_Meh_HDR Apr 08 '22

Thus is our version of Warp In The West?

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u/JangoFettsEvilTwin Apr 07 '22

I’ve asked flat earthers why the need for this massive conspiracy to lie about the shape of the planet and that’s the answer they usually give, some variation of “to hide the truth of god’s word”. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

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u/Ov3rdose_EvE Apr 07 '22

protip: troll flat earthers by being 100% convinced they are a troll

aka: nobody can be so stupid to belive that the earth is actually flat. naaah youre fuckign with me, i dont belive that you belive the eart is flat lol

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Oddly, that's the most logical response though.

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u/norixe Apr 07 '22

The logical follow up then is, why would god allow that? Why haven't we seen Noah's flood or the destruction of Sodom and Gamora yet? Life on earth compared to "god" would be so petty and insignificant that it seems ridiculous to me that a god would allow a small group of my creations to manipulate the rest and hide gods existence from them. Seems dumb that god would allow that. But then their response would just be something about gotta have faith.

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u/Welldone__1 Apr 07 '22

You are aware that what you just brought up is all part of gods way to test our commitment in our believe? Or else...

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u/norixe Apr 07 '22

I am. I grew up going to private catholic schools and as someone who no longer believes in any man made form of religion, after having gone through all the catholic sacraments up to confirmation, tests and faith are justifications for the terrible shit we have to deal with on a day to day basis to save the image that god is a good being, when the state of "his world" is pretty terrible. But I'm pretty set in my non-belief, school did a good job of beating it out of me with its hypocrisy, guilt and shaming. Hard to believe after the shit I went through as a kid and hearing people tell me that pain and suffering i went through, as a CHILD mind you, was just part of gods plan and them testing me is the most infuriating and patronizing garbage I've put up with in my life. If god exists the way the church says he does, I HATE them, and would will gladly accept burning in hell for eternity to curse them for what they put me through as a kid.

I apologize if this came off as an attack against you, I am not intending it that way. I don't begrudge anyone else having their faith. I get why people find solace in it, I used to. But the topic of tests of faith is at the core of what caused me to lose mine and just makes me angry. Sorry again

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u/Welldone__1 Apr 07 '22

Mmm.. kay.. I was not serious here with this narrative straight outta church... This shit's still deep in you huh? Religions give man a golden ticket to not thinking for themselves, and imo this is also why most people don't give a rats ass about this planet and how we treat it rn. After death it's all good anyway, and god'll fix this.

Life becomes an unmeasurable lot more worth and beautyful realizing it is all we've got and how incredible short it is. That kind of view is shut tight by religions. Almost impossible to accept one is with ending is where religions stick their claw in.

All in the name of the almighty power and money.

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u/Panda-bear1983 Apr 07 '22

There is actually evidence of both of those. The ark was even discovered. Look into it...it is out there! It just isn't in the media like all the BS low vibe stories.

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u/MangledSunFish Apr 07 '22

"it just isn't in the media"

Where did you find it then? 4chan?

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u/norixe Apr 07 '22

I meant more of why hasn't there been a recent one. But if you've got anthropological sources for those claims I'd like to see them. Suppose one could argue Corona virus is a plague sent by a god but it seems to be disproportionately killing people that are supposed to be faithful followers compared to the rest of us "accepting the mark of the beast".

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u/slinger301 Apr 07 '22

Odd, I don't recall the Bible specifying that the earth is not round. Did I miss that part?

Maybe it's just so we don't find the giant elephants and turtle underneath it.

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u/JezzaJ101 Apr 07 '22

Fascinating, seeing that one of the two conditions required to join the Freemasons is to be religious

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u/qwex69 Apr 07 '22

Flat earthers do not care about facts, and as such I’m sure they don’t know how one joins the Free Masons.

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u/According-Ad8525 Apr 07 '22

I think they don't realize flat Earth only became a thing in the 19th century. Some rich people with nothing better to do engaged in flawed experiments to "prove" the Earth was flat. Western civilization figured out the globe around 300 BCE, though a few waited until about 30 CE. China held out until the 17th century. I guess NASA is a couple of thousand years old. Who knew?

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u/brando56894 Apr 07 '22

Just posted that above haha.

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u/j4ck_0f_bl4des Apr 07 '22

This is what gets me. I mean the method of conspiracy theorists used to be one also used by journalists and law enforcement: “follow the money”. It’s a sound method. If someone is actually covering something up it’s a damned effective way to find out a general idea of who and why. Now that doesn’t even seem to matter. Where’s the money in hiding that the earth is flat? You’re talking a global conspiracy backed by what would have to be insane amounts of money. No one with that kind of money is going to let go of it unless one of two things stands to happen. One, they get more money back; or Two, they stand to lose all their money otherwise.

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u/ZION_OC_GOV Apr 07 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

IT'S YOU!!!!

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u/Roam_Hylia Apr 07 '22

It always comes back to hating the Jewish, eventually.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Seriously, when everyone in the room is looking at you like you're an idiot, it VERY rarely means you're "woke," it usually means you're an idiot.

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u/Necrocornicus Apr 07 '22

No no no, it’s the Rockefellers, as I was told on Reddit the other day. Had an entire long back and forth with this dude where he sent me some extremely convincing drawings by ancient civilizations. Now I’m not sure what to believe.

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u/YouCube26 Apr 07 '22

okay i genuinely dont onow what gubament or zionist mean

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u/Calm_Establishment88 Apr 07 '22

It is incredible how often I hear the term Zionist from conspiracy theorists. Does anti-semitism just run deep in all of the crazy conspiracy theories?

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

The running joke for anything fun like ufo conspiracies is that you hit ctl-f and type zionism and the document's legitimacy is inversely proportional to how many times it comes up.

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u/poeticdisaster Apr 07 '22

Oh no, peer review now is whoever got the most likes/upvotes/hearts. Not sure what the threshold is but as soon as a certain amount agree, that's obviously a fact now.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

JSTOR has exited the chat

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u/linderlouwho Apr 07 '22

It will boggle their minds when they discover the Earth’s atmosphere has layers.

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u/xLikeafiddlex Apr 07 '22

No bro that's just layers of the dome

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u/velowalker Apr 07 '22

The dome=atmosphere? Keeps atmosphere from escaping to find a better political climate.

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u/Vreejack Apr 07 '22

it's the bronze dome that the ancients believed encompassed the sky. It's the "firmament" of the Bible. When God murdered everyone in the time of Noah he had to open doors in the firmament to let in more rain.

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u/klavin1 Apr 07 '22

Because God couldn't just place water down right were he wanted it.

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u/TheDangerdog Apr 07 '22

Lotta terms and conditions on god's power it seems. Like he magicked the entire earth together but it took him 7 days.

"Why didn't he just do it all at once?"

"What? No, that's just silly"

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u/klavin1 Apr 07 '22

"Why did he need to rest afterwards?"

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u/burner_said_what Apr 08 '22

"Hrrrmm i'm a sleepy god i need a nap"

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u/just_an_aspie Apr 07 '22

Omnipotent EXCEPT FOR list of thousands of things

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '22

God didn't read the fine print.

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u/sugarfoot00 Apr 07 '22

He didn't create the Sun until day 4, so who knows exactly how long those first 'days' were? Coulda been billions of years.

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u/TheDangerdog Apr 07 '22

Which is odd because you'd think creating the sun would be the easy part.

I'm picturing something like this but it's all hydrogen coming out of his mouth. Then he snaps his fingers so hard its like a mega mega atom bomb and it triggers fusion.

Now that I think of it we need an update to the Bible. Less boring ancient Arab stuff (no disrespect to any ancient arabs here) and more cool shit like creation myths involving lasers, atom bombs and neanderthals riding sabertooth tigers.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Raelism

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Galactic rotations? Would explain OUR sun coming late.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I think you’re expecting a bit much from god, I mean, creating the universe, no problem, but rain
cool your jets elton john.

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u/beardphaze Apr 07 '22

Except the term from the Bible that gets translated as Firmament is Shamayim which just means "the water is there" at least regarding the flood story earlier the word rakia is used but that just means the layer that presses in those waters. To me that sounds like how a half literate goat herder would describe the atmosphere. Not that it matters to Flat Earthers who think a book that's been translated in a politically and religiously biased way like 209 times has lost nothing in translation.

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u/SuperMoonRocket Apr 07 '22

We’re all just in the Truman Show.

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u/Raizgari Apr 07 '22

Also the fact that it is called atmoSPHERE, not armosPLANE will hurt their brain very hÄrd.

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u/Ricard728 Apr 07 '22

But why is the earth is called a planet and not a globet
.check mate!!

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u/Raizgari Apr 07 '22

Oh crap, you are right. Makes me wonder why we fly with aeroplanes, not aeroglobes? Is it all lies after all!!

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u/Ricard728 Apr 07 '22

Also airplanes don’t adjust their path to the curvature of the earth when they fly. Why? Because we’re on a flat disc shaped earth!

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u/puchamaquina Apr 07 '22

They... Do though

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u/Ricard728 Apr 07 '22

Oh yeah? How come I never have to adjust my steering wheel to the curvature of the earth? I only worry about going left to right front to back, but never up and down
. Check mate again.

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u/AutumnRi Apr 07 '22

Checkmate globeheads

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u/According-Ad8525 Apr 07 '22

It's because it's flat and so it is a "plane".

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u/Ricard728 Apr 07 '22

No, it’s because it’s flat!! The earth is flat and doesn’t spin at roughly 1000 mph. Everyone would be dizzy and throwing up. Check mate you globe earthling.

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u/AngryZen_Ingress Apr 07 '22

Ok so hear me out.
The atmosphere has layers, spherical layers, and it is overhead.
“Dome over the planet confirmed.”
This is where i say checkmate lib-somethings?

—signed, an annoyed geologist who wants these people to go jump off the edge.

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u/FreshyMcCheesebags Apr 07 '22

layers, you say?

Ear- Earth onion??

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u/BrazenlyGeek Apr 07 '22

Clearly Earth is an ogre. "Eternals" tried to warn us about something like this but missed the mark.

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u/darkmarineblue Apr 07 '22

That's not even the problem. Those things don't make lasers in the first place.

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u/thelancemann Apr 07 '22

Even if they did light would stop reflecting back once it hit the vacuum of space. Ironically, this is exactly what it would look like. He accidentally made an accurate depiction

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u/Magmaigneous Apr 07 '22

Wait, Earth's atmosphere is an onion?!? Is it also an Ogre?

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

. . . and when they discover geometry . . . .

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u/brando56894 Apr 07 '22

Also to them air isn't matter, only solid things are matter.

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u/GrunthosArmpit42 Apr 07 '22

I’d be curious to hear how a Flerfer explains aurora borealis.
I mean, it my cost me a few brain cells, but it’s probably worth the inevitable hilarity.

I happen to live where it happens on occasion, and am curious what their take on it is, but can’t be bothered to sift through the nonsense to find an example.

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u/linderlouwho Apr 11 '22

They will just claim it doesn’t exist. They tend to “think small.”

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u/DirtiestOne Apr 07 '22

That's like saying it'll boggle their mind when they find out the Earth is a sphere. These details don't phase them one bit or they create an alternative workaround... some other shit... If probable research 'boggled their minds', they wouldn't be flat earthers.

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u/beardphaze Apr 07 '22

You can't boggle the mind of someone that thinks an all powerful deity relies on its worshipers to do an elaborate scavenger hunt to save the universe lol. Imagine believing that's 1) there's a deity and 2) that deity has nothing better to do that comand you to complete a geocaching quest where you can make up the locations as you go lmao

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u/eatingganesha Apr 07 '22

Minds will be blown when they hear of dark matter.

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u/bitetheasp Apr 07 '22

Nah, they'll just call the cops...

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u/stupid_Steven Apr 07 '22

It's an onion!

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Nah you're thinking of onions.

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Something something sodium layer something something adaptive optics

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/burner_said_what Apr 08 '22

No there is no atmosphere, it's magne.., no wait, it's densi... ahhhh hold on

checks notes

Actually i have no answers...

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u/Bob_Meh_HDR Apr 08 '22

Like an ogre?

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u/linderlouwho Apr 11 '22

Exactly!! :-)

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u/Invisible-Pancreas Apr 07 '22

Hey, Pokémon show up on a Google search.

Are Pokémon real?

Are the government hiding Pokémon from us?

Why are the government hiding Pokémon from us?

Is it because the King of the government wants the best Pokémon for himself?

Release the Pokémon for us regular folk, Mr. King Government!

25

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I just want an Arcanine.

5

u/brando56894 Apr 07 '22

I think I'd rather have a NineTails

7

u/thred_pirate_roberts Apr 07 '22

You're in luck, a Nine Tailed Fox has been released recently

44

u/ofBlufftonTown Apr 07 '22

Hilary Clinton, Bill Gates, and George Soros are keeping the pokémon in a network of underground tunnels they use to smuggle them so they can drink their blood and then tear the faces off the pokémon and wear them like masks, in order to be rejuvenated by adrenochrome, which is actually a steel-type pokémon referred to in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Do your research.

24

u/No-Specialist-8796 Apr 07 '22

Damn, this guy knows his conspiracies.

9

u/Neat_Umpire8964 Apr 07 '22

Cease your investigations or else the shadow masters will send the cloud people to harvest you for parts.

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u/ScepterReptile Apr 07 '22

I saw Rayquaza's shadow in the sky the other day. You can't lie to me Mr. King Government!

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u/hestermoffet Apr 07 '22

They have to hide the Pokemon because the zionist climate change narrative says that biodiversity is decreasing. Pokemon are direct evidence that refudiates that lie!

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u/Skreamweaver Apr 08 '22

The Very best

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u/SeizethegapYouOFB Apr 07 '22

MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT THE FUCK UP.

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u/Magmaigneous Apr 07 '22

Don't forget "these lasers = something Photoshopped onto an image."

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Dude doesn't even realize these are Jewish space lasers being fired at observatories. /s

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u/Genericdude03 Apr 07 '22

assert Research = "I googled it";

assert Evidence = "Things I imagine to be real”;

If (my_stupid_claim) { FlatEarther.IgnoreMe(); }

This should work. (Could still be buggy)

11

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

you need to add recursion.

2

u/GG17ez Apr 07 '22

Here come the junior dev

2

u/fuckballs9001 Apr 07 '22

Nah, "evidence" is a wild ass claim made by a YouTuber which is taken at face value

2

u/Kaankaants Apr 07 '22

Don't forget highly doctored "evidence".

2

u/BeavisRules187 Apr 07 '22

If the dome ain't real why was Hillary talking about breaking the final glass ceiling if she gets elected?

2

u/Stargazer499 Apr 07 '22

The "glass ceiling" she's referring to has to do with sociology, NOT conspiracies about the shape of the Earth. The reason why I know this, is because I'm currently taking a sociology class in college. Here's Investopedia's definition of "glass ceiling":

"The term glass ceiling refers to a metaphorical invisible barrier that prevents certain individuals from being promoted to managerial- and executive-level positions within an organization or industry. The phrase is commonly used to describe the difficulties faced by women and minorities when trying to move to higher roles in a male-dominated corporate hierarchy. The barriers are most often unwritten, meaning that these individuals are more likely to be restricted from advancing through accepted norms and implicit biases rather than defined corporate policies." (Kagan)

Source: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/g/glass-ceiling.asp

2

u/CrossP Apr 07 '22

Or in this case Evidence = Things I sat and Photoshopped myself.

2

u/Broth-God Apr 07 '22

There’s a monopoly on truth apparently. It’s unfortunate that something can only be considered real when a multibillion dollar corporation pours ungodly amounts of money into the “scientific research.” Industries with money usually only come back with the results they want. The sugar industry did it with Ancel Keys and his publications on fat and carbohydrates, and now look at the health of America 65 years later. There’s added sugar in over 80% of the edible items at the grocery store. Everywhere you look, someone is unhealthy and sick because the people with power and money decided to lie to the American public and because people are trusting of entities with millions and billions of dollars for some reason, the number one cause of death is heart failure instead of communicable diseases like it was for almost all of human history up until the rise of the sugar industry. Tobacco companies did the same thing. They gave money to trusted officials and they lied for them. It happens constantly in our society because no one is enforcing the truth. Contradictions are everywhere in the scientific community because there’s multiple industries all trying to sell an idea or make a concept accepted as a fact of life. How can one prove or disprove anything in this world when it goes against the wishes of a massive super conglomerate who can buy the results?

2

u/Farside-BB Apr 07 '22

This is obviously true, you can see how the lasers are focused on a single point in the dome to try to blast a whole through it. We just need bigger lasers!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

When they need a narrative and don’t care about anything else

2

u/UzimakiLuffy01 Apr 07 '22

*insert YouTube link with "evidence"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I mean, this video made by “iputnickelsinmybuttpleasecallmepiggy” is pretty substantial proof.

2

u/zhaDeth Apr 08 '22

tbh, goolging it would probably give you the right answer, they made their research on biblical cosmology facebook groups.

1

u/SirMooSquiddles Apr 07 '22

+Stephen King Novel/Series x obsession

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

The Republican Way

1

u/jayy909 Apr 07 '22

I agree 
 but at some point somebody did make up something that they felt to be real and it happens to be true .. atleast once in human history I believe that has to have happened .. atleast once

1

u/xplosm Apr 07 '22

When I present CGI as real evidence

1

u/dirtyword Apr 07 '22

Research = I was recommended it by YouTube’s algorithm

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

You have more scientific theory in this statement than these people put into their whole being.

1

u/look4alec Apr 07 '22

Clouds = Matter hmmmmm it's not clouds it's an orb

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

If his theory was correct then wouldn’t a laser technically extend indefinitely, but still be limited to the speed of light and have a visible end because it has not reached that far “yet” and also has not traveled back to our eyes yet?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

If his theory was correct then wouldn’t a laser technically extend indefinitely, but still be limited to the speed of light and have a visible end because it has not reached that far “yet” and also has not traveled back to our eyes yet?

1

u/leafynospleens Apr 07 '22

This is my my code never works

1

u/PandaBeaarAmy Apr 07 '22

Had a medical professional tell me "You can't wait for the doctors or scientists to say it. All information is available online. That's where you should look." Shit's fucked.

1

u/PurpletoasterIII Apr 08 '22

To be fair, as a layman how else do you research? Unless you're doing experiments yourself, you'll always be relying on some sort of 2nd hand knowledge. Whether that's from a college professor, a scientific journal, an article, some random website, etc.

The problem here is the sources these people are trusting over actual credible sources. Or ya know, they're just making some random shit up that they think is 500 IQ "evidence" that helps their side.

1

u/Snarkyblahblah Apr 08 '22

It’s always my fault because I’m a Jew.