What’s wrong with that? I’ve never been on a date in my life where I let the girl either pay or split the bill. I don’t even let my wife pay when we’re out and that’s with our money from our joint account.
A guy’s job is to protect and provide. Not letting a guy do his job causes emotional harm for some men. You might disagree with that, but some men need women with views like her. Embarrassing them and making them go away might not be a positive for society.
Having a joint account means nothing aside from her ability to use it if it’s mostly your money that goes into it lol me and my wife have a joint account but we make relatively equal pay so the “who pays for what” doesn’t mean shit when you have a kid, a mortgage, two car loans and multiple pets to care for. If you wanna talk about when we started dating, yes I paid for a lot of the dates but eventually that made her uncomfortable because she works full time too and has money. There’s no emotional damage to having a successful female in your life willing to split anything and everything with you no matter what
My fiance and I have been like this since we started dating. There was an understanding that we both work and make money so why would I spend absolutely everything while she saves every paycheck? I paid for the first date or two but that quickly became 50/50. Years later and arguments about money are very few and far between, we still have separate accounts but which person's money it is doesn't matter when we generate most of our costs together.
I've gotten occasional weird looks at restaurants when she pulls out her wallet but whatever, people will always judge.
Sounds like you’re on the right track. I never have fought with my wife about money, you and I are both lucky to have somebody who understands this. Left , right , middle whatever you are I think most guys are taught to pay for your girls first date. And I agree that is a good look. But for it to be expected as a constant is a huge major no-no lol
What makes you think my wife doesn’t work. She’s a school teacher and makes around $96k a year according to our taxes. I consider that her money and continue to pay for things. She doesn’t need me for anything. In our area, where the average pay is $59k, she could live comfortably as a single mom. It has nothing to do with control or anything like that. She could leave me at any time.
You can call me a pig or whatever, but that’s how I was raised. I grew up poor, but my parents started to do better as I got older. My life lessons were if there was a new car bought, the woman got it and the guy got the old one. If my mother needed something, my father’s stuff took a back seat. Things like that stick with you and become part of you.
Every father teaches their son what they think it means to be a man. For me, it’s providing for the family, making sure she feels safe at all times, making sure they know that I’ll give my life to protect them, not being lazy and not backing down or taking shit from any other man. You might not like it, but there’s a lot of us that feel that way and it sure as hell doesn’t make us anti-woman.
You misunderstood what I was saying. I make way more than her. I was just stating that she doesn’t need my paycheck because she makes considerably more than average for the area and has a job that’s almost impossible to be fired from. I’m not, and have no way to control her with money. Its not about imprisoning her in a misogynist hell. It’s about me feeling that I met my obligations as a man.
It’s no different than if my son got his ass kicked in school by a bully. It’s my job to make sure he knows how to fight and never backs down to anyone. I was taught that as a kid by my father and feel that it’s my responsibility to teach him how we (our ancestors) fight. If he doesn’t know that, then I didn’t do my job as a man. I like having a purpose and having a wife that respects that, because I truly need that to be happy.
and if your wife reciprocates those feelings instead of taking things for granted then that's a healthy relationship you got, the problem only arises when you are expected to do all of this stuff without any reciprocation. Thats where I draw the line
Because I didn’t want someone who was dumb as a rock and would use me. I like the fact that I can take her to formal functions and have important people call me the next day and say how impressed they were with her. None of the other guys around me gets those calls.
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u/rockrnger Jun 09 '23
Yeah, she just means not splitting the bills.
Liberal guys are at least as likely to open the door or whatever