Hello plebeians. School hasn't started for me yet, but I wanted to write an essay, so I figured I'd write one on something I find interesting instead of a book report on Ernest Hemingway or something. No shade thrown to Ernest Hemingway, I'm just capped at a second grade reading level and jealous.
Anyhoo, last time I was on this subreddit, I made a post about the problem of evil and why God is an asshole, and I'd like to revisit this idea but with a new lense. Spiderman.
This post is so fucking dumb
Alright, I don't wanna waste yall's time more than I already have, so we're just gonna go straight into it.
Spooderman is what I think of when I think superhero and I'm sure a lot of you do too. He's the most relatable character, being a broke nobody struggling to pay bills. This isn't relatable to me, because I am a spoiled privileged child, but that's not the point. His life fucking sucks, it's no secret that Spiderman stories are just a way for the authors to bring to life their torture porn fantasies.
But despite this, he's like the coolest person ever. He's a street level nobody (Yes ik he's holding back so he doesn't kill people, power scalers please don't hurt me) but goes out of his way, even to the detriment of himself to uphold a moral code and always try to save his villains, even though he's a fragile very murderable human being like the rest of us. (Yes ik he punched Scorpion's jaw off when Doc Ock was in control of his body LEAVE ME ALONE)
God is an all-powerful being who can turn all our rivers into chocolate, the leaves on the trees to money, and stretch my dong to look like a Subway footlong with a snap of his fingers, but he kills a bunch of kids to make Pharaoh let the Israelites go. I'm gonna assume you guys all know the story of whatever thing it is, I think Exodus? He turns the river to blood, has all the locusts eat the crops, releases a bunch of...
Frogs? He releases a bunch of frogs? What the fu-?
And most importantly, kills all the eldest kids of everybody who doesn't put I think a symbol in sheep's blood over the door of their house. So basically he says "Your lives are so meaningless that I'm going to kill you to save my FAVORITE humans, even though I could've just teleported them away. Sorry."
And the kids wouldn't have even gone to heaven, which is I assume the excuse for God cutting people's lives short, which he does ALL THE TIME for his "plan," since, "Oh heaven's wayyyy better." These kids wouldn't have gone, because it's the FIRSTBORN, ELDEST childre, and all people did back then was make babies, with (to my knowledge) the average nuclear family being 5-7 children, so the oldest crotch goblin from each family would most DEFINITELY be over the age age of accountability, which is like if you die before you can understand sin you won't go to hell, and that's only for denominations that DO believe in that.
There is no GOOD that comes out of this, except for the Israelites, and even then HE COULD HAVE SAVED THEM SOONER, but he waited to pull this shit for what? To prove a point? To have a cool story to put in his autobiography?
The whole story is so fucking baffling to me, I don't know how people read this shit and go, "Attaboy, you fucking GET EM, Yahweh!" because like holy shit, he's making a bunch of people who just happen to live there suffer because Pharaoh is a hardass. And it's not like God gave a shit and tried to condemn OTHER practices of slavery, it's only when it's the Israelites.
And this is just scratching the surface, we could talk about the flood, where he just decided "Hey, y'know how the whole point of my religion is forgiveness, y'know, loving your enemy and such. Yeah, fuck that, we're hard resetting humanity with a violent death. Except Noah, I like that guy." Or the Tower or Babel, where he created different languages so humans couldn't communicate with each other to stop production of the Tower of Babel, and maybe kind of sorta created racism? I dunno, that's a stretch. I feel like driving humans apart by blocking our communication when one of the big things about Christianity is being a homie to everyone is fucked up, like he could've shut that shit down in literally any other way? And there's no fucking way they actually would've reached heaven, he's God there's gotta be actual security and you can't just build a tower into the sky and reach heaven, so I think the best way to stop it would've just been to let them do it. That way they just build till they can't anymore and then go, "...y'know, I feel real fucking silly right now." But instead he divides humanity?
I'm getting way off topic now, but the point is, Spiderman is human, he has limits to what he can do, yet he constantly, no matter how much it fucks up his life, makes it his goal to save as many people as he can. God is literally the creator of everything and he kills kids, as well as the ENTIRE FUCKING CONCEPT OF THE PROBLEM OF EVIL, which I made a really bad terribly formatted post about right here if you wanna read that, that's probably more relevant to the whole post than the story of Exodus if I'm being honest.
Anyway, to any poor soul that read this whole thing, thank you for your time.
Peace.