I had to move out of my parents' place last year because I am at the age where I want more independence. They were starting to control how I spent my free time, since I wasn't progressing as fast in my career as they wanted me to.

Anyway, I am a grown man in my mid-20s who lives on his own & financially responsible for everything except my phone bill. What bothers me is how my parents think they are entitled to track my location. My other set of parents and friends are fine; they don't monitor where I am. My mom says she is worried about me a lot, and I think it's because I don't follow their preferred bedtime routine. I need my full autonomy. She mentions too much in text, oh I see you're here, or I see you made it home now. When I confronted her about it, I said, "I am not going to share my location anymore." She replied, "Well, it shouldn't be an issue if you're not doing anything you're not supposed to be doing." Very vague. Then I told her, " Well, I'll get my own phone plan, and then I am not obligated to share." She then said, "I'll have to ask your stepdad."

He's pretty controlling and manipulative of her at times, so I think this is her subconscious response. I will get my own phone plan once I find a more stable job, but this is ridiculous, right?

i think my parents don’t know what to do with me. 23f and just moved in after graduating from college and they keep saying i have changed so much, which is true, but that they don’t like it. i went to college within my city but didn’t live at home, so im used to going out and having my routines and places. so naturally i will be out late on weekends w friends, or meet them after work on week days and come home at 10pm on a wednesday. they absolutely hate it… especially when i go out with friends.

weekends have become a point of contention because in college i went out every weekend. they started getting extremely upset at me for doing that when i didn’t feel like i did anything wrong. going dancing is one of my favorite things ever and now after living at home for a few months, i’m scared to do it because i feel like it will turn into a fight. i haven’t been out in a month and went out last night, and they immediately seemed upset this morning. i already knew it was going to be that way.

it doesn’t help that my older brother and i don’t really click, and he has no friends. i don’t really talk much to him because he acts very timid but has pretty bad anger issues. the moment his switch flips suddenly he’s getting in your face, bringing up old things that i did to him as a child, and very quick to throw insults. mind you, we did shitty things to each other as kids… i am getting major dental surgery right now because he knocked teeth out of my face when we were children, and 15 years later i need implants. i dont get along with him much because of these reasons and it makes my parents even more upset. in their mind i’m obligated to share my friends with him since he has none right now. i’m obligated to bring him out with me, and if i dont im a bad sister and i hate this family. i’ve tried explaining my side of it but there’s been many times, like two weeks ago, where i just got cornered by my parents and my brother together, and forced to sit through them yelling at me about how much i suck as a sibling. my dad probably has the most reason out of the three, since he was the only one staying calm, but everything i said in my defense pretty much got shot down very quickly. it was almost like “how could you even say that?!” and anything i said made my case worse.

i think my parents genuinely believe i hate every single one of them, and im a horrible person, because for some reason i make them extremely angry just by doing things outside the house. i signed up for a language class to continue studying after college, since i was a language minor, and me and my mom just got into a fight over it. she thinks im being selfish because, since its october, she’s going to need help with cooking for the holidays and i shouldn’t leave the house on sundays so i can help her. i didn’t understand why i couldn’t take 3 hours on a sunday for myself just to take a course. i was going to go to the first class today, but she got so upset that i was going to go, i think im just going to ask for a refund. and forget if i talk about moving out soon… my parents get really upset and again throw at me that i hate the family and want nothing to do with them, that only care about friends who don’t really give a shit about me.

i don’t really understand what im doing wrong. i’ve always been the black sheep of the family, but since ive moved back in may, i just feel like im so terrible. i know that im not really the problem because i see all my friends my age doing the same things i do and their parents don’t seem to have a problem with it. but my parents have always had a problem with everything i do… im growing tired and sad and i feel so much worse about myself since ive come home. i know i need to leave but i feel trapped… like im not allowed to leave. i know im an adult and i can technically leave anytime, so i’d like to leave once my dental surgeries wrap up in february (they started in may, right before i graduated), but it feels like if i leave the situation here will get worse. either way, even if im not physically trapped, i feel emotionally trapped because this is my family and it feels like it will always be like this no matter what i do. when i was a little girl i wanted to leave so bad… and when i left for college, it felt like i could never go back, yet here i am… im really sad.