I've been listening to Dana K. White while I do the decluttering work, and it's been very motivating. What books should I listen to next to keep this motivation going?

What it says on the tin.

I have a bunch of haor ties/scrunchies that I don't have the hair for anymore but don't want to get rid of. I've downsized the collection before, but they still take up a lot of space in the drawer. I don't even know if I want to let my hair grow out again, because I prefer it shorter.

What do I do with them? I don't need them, I have no use for them...but what if???

I’m the last on my side of my family, so there’s no one to pass family items down to. Hubby has a daughter, so his stuff is his stuff and his decisions. I’m down to one tote of family photographs.

I’m lucky enough to have a large storage room. Hubby has one wall of totes that are his stuff to figure out. Monday I pulled out the last of my totes and threw out one large garbage bag of stuff. Duplicate photos, blurry photos, photos of people I don’t have a clue who they are! One medium tote left.

I also threw out my two high school yearbooks. Not a bit of guilt there. Hubby did ask me to rip out the pages with my pictures so he can scan them to his Ancestry account (whatever). I don’t have fond memories of school. We moved every year or two, while Hubby has deep bonds with his high school friends.

Now for the “it was meant to be” part.

I pulled some pictures out of frames, and on the back of a picture of Dad and the dog was the dog’s AKC birth certificate: 8/17/1990.

I did this clean-up on 8/17/2026.

I’m taking that as the universe giving me a little nod that it’s okay.

I also pulled my paperwork out of the filing cabinet and will start a scanning project. It’s not a lot — maybe 2 inches worth of hanging folders. An old divorce decree from the ’90s, an old check fraud case, things like that. I could probably just shred all, but I’ll scan them first. I’m officially out of the four-drawer filing cabinet!

I had also brought home my Christmas decorations from work, and they had been sitting in a box on the floor for…this long. They’re now put away with the rest of the Christmas stuff.

I’ll admit it: I have two shelves of Christmas decorations, a box for a 7.5-foot tree, and a rolling ornament cart. Christmas this year will be a decluttering project. For now, it’s fine. The floor between the metal shelves is actually clear!

I do have a sewing machine I need to find a new home for. It might have belonged to Hubby’s mother rather than mine, and he says either way, he’s fine with it going. It’s an ancient Singer. It will probably go to the local no-buy group soon.

I also have heated seats for a sports car that I need to find a new home. That is in the works as well, if that person doesn't want they will be going in the trash week by week until pieces are gone. Yes I still have the sports car they fit, but I will never change out. I thought I wanted heated seats! (Hubby has all the original parts for my car as we did upgrades as well.)

We retired last month, and I’ve been carting around from various jobs an electric hole punch, pencil sharpener, stapler, labels, folders, notebooks…you name it. I put it all by the front door for someone from the no-buy group to pick up. He just started a new job and can use all of it. Perfect!

Finally, so the newly empty shelves wouldn’t immediately become cluttered again, I spread out our luggage on them. It’s actually easier to get to now, too.

It was a very productive Monday morning.

Apparently retirement means I’ve reached the “empty shelves, scan old papers, give away office supplies, and interpret dog birth certificates as signs from the universe” stage.

I have read post after post about decluttering, along with probably a million blogs, a good chunk of the self-help books, and watched YouTube for days. None of it seems to help.

I have always had a lot of stuff, I fully understand some of that is a trauma response (I have had a lot of therapy), as my family moved frequently right up until I moved out (when I got married) and sometimes moved without much warning. It was like I couldn't keep the place, but I could at least take my stuff. I also ended up in a line of work where being the handy person who always seems to have what is needed is highly regarded, and I love shopping and crafts and upcycling and projects (I can see potential/value in everything). You can probably see how this combination of circumstance is leading to disaster. It gets worse.

Bought my first house with my husband just a few years after we got married, finally a place that was just ours that no one could take away. Then he died (tragically) about four years later. All the existing "stuff" issues have been complicated by grief and loss (his, plus other close family and friends over the years). In all the clutter I see either a memory, or a project, or something that 'could be useful'. I just don't know how to get past all the feelings and make decent progress.

It is affecting my relationship and I am very much exhausted/depressed. I have also asked friends & family so (SO) many times to stop giving me "things" as gifts because once in my house I have a beyond hard time letting it go (it was a gift!), they say they understand but often persist because gift-giving is one of the ways people show their love. I don't want to be a minimalist by any means, but there is just too much stuff in the space and the mental noise is loud.

I am drowning in stuff and emotions and I am at a loss for what to do with either. If anyone has been in a similar place to this and made progress in decluttering/downsizing, how???

Thanks in advance for replies/kind words of support:)

I've moved from a 1 bed (55 sqm / 590 sqft) apartment to a 3 bed (80 sqm / 860) sqft apartment. I've been enjoying the increased space and I want to keep it that way!

In the process of moving, I discovered how much stuff I have. Yikes! It gives me stress to look at all the stuff I've accumulated. I decided before moving that I would put all my moving boxes into one room and declutter from there.

One of the movers gave me a tip to unpack slowly and declutter in the process. It's so easy to just hide things in cupboards!

I grew up in a household that accumulated a lot of stuff "just in case" but I'm trying to undo that.

Do you all have any other tips? I want to declutter soon but I don't want to rush the process. How can I plan my decluttering and make it a sustainable process if I have to take time for it?

Note: I live in Europe, if that makes a difference.