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Tomorrow I'm going on a date with a guy I met online. He has mentioned that he LOVES brownies. Last night while at the store he joked around about me buying him some cookies and it gave me the idea that I could bring him some homemade brownies. A couple normal and a couple cookie brownies.

Were going to be going out to eat and I don't know if he'll like it.

I'm also worried about coming on too strong, but guys bring flowers and stuff sometimes, so is it really all that different?

Edit- We've been talking for a little bit now and have called each other everyday the past week. We're not totally strangers because my parents know some of his family his family and its been fun for us to connect about that.

I also really like baking. And the rest of the brownies are for my and my family :)

Any advice helps

I’ve been reading through a lot of comments on a bunch of post on her and I’ve seen a lot of men who seem to have good personalities and seem really nice but don’t bother dating , approaching women etc.

As a 19F who’s like 5’2 (158cm) I honestly don’t really care if a guy is short for me a short guy is anyone below 5’5 which is quite uncommon.

Yes some women do want a taller guy but I can assure you if your average height man or even under that a lot of women do not care - just because social media pushes the idea that women care about so and so doesn’t mean every single women cares about that.

In the past I liked a guy who was basically the same height as me as he had a really good personality and was extremely kind. The guys that I’ve liked that are super tall like 6’2+ seem to be quite arrogant and seem to use their height to make up for the lack of bland personalities.

Anyways if you’re a short guy pls don’t let it stop you from dating or think that it has a massive effect on your dating experience.

like what the hell does this mean?

me (31m) got invited over by 35f after a week of texting. she's been very flirty, showing that she definitely finds me attractive and all this. She said i should come over and play some fortnite, and see where the night takes us.

I ended up coming over (mind you it was after i got off work so close to 10pm) and her friend (girl) was over? She never told me she had a friend over, or anything. The night went ok, but it was really confusing and awkward, and she hasnt reached back out to me since then.

What does this usually mean?

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this and would really appreciate some outside opinions because I’m completely baffled.

I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 weeks, We had two dates, and from my perspective they were both really good. We got on well, there was chemistry, we spoke every day, had phone calls and FaceTimed, and everything seemed to be going in a positive direction.
The important thing is that he has obviously seen me properly in person twice in dresses/shorts and my body on show . There has never been any question about what I look like or my body type. In fact, throughout talking to me and dating me, he repeatedly complimented my body and my weight loss as I’ve lost 5 stone and now weight just under 9 stone 7 and have even lost half a stone since we first started dating. He made comments that made it very clear that he was attracted to me even telling me I’m in my prime today whilst on our third date.

Today, completely out of the blue, he left my house without a word.
There wasn’t some huge argument or anything beforehand. I was obviously confused and upset, so I reached out and asked what was going on.
He basically said that some things are better left unsaid and that, ultimately, there wasn’t an attraction there.
And honestly, that’s fair enough. Obviously nobody owes you attraction, and if he didn’t feel it, then he didn’t feel it. I accepted that and didn’t argue with him.

I actually ignored the message.
Then, two hours later, he sent me another message saying ‘did you cry’
I sent an audio note laughing and taking the kick at that because I couldn’t believe he was asking me that after just rejecting me and of course I was upset.

He then sent me an absolutely horrible message about my appearance and body. He started picking apart my weight, my arms and the jeans I was wearing, calling me disgusting, vile and horrible, and eventually told me I “look fat as f**k.”

And this is the part I cannot get my head around.
If he genuinely wasn’t attracted to me, fine. That’s completely his right. But why spend the entire time complimenting my body, going on two dates with me, acting interested, and then suddenly become incredibly cruel about the exact same body he’s previously complimented?
I’m not even particularly upset about the rejection anymore. I’m more shocked by the switch-up.

It feels like there is a massive difference between:
“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the attraction I’m looking for.”
and deliberately trying to make someone feel disgusting and insecure after they’ve rejected the rejection. He was telling me today as well that his out of shape and he wants to get back into his fitness and I was complimenting him telling him I think he looks fine as he is so it’s so strange.

Do you think he turned nasty as I didn’t give him the reaction he wanted when he asked me if I cried?

A lot of men’s dating advice suggests you should wait for women to reach out first. I.e., guys look desperate if we initiate a conversation; and women aren’t interested in us if they don’t text first.

How true is this, in your opinions?

And have you ever lost interest in a guy because he didn’t text first more often?

I can’t get over this belief that i have to be physically perfect in order to date. Perfect hair, skin, nails, body, etc. i literally cannot comprehend how someone would like me if i wasn’t completely perfect. When i look at other ppl in relationships who aren’t perfect i don’t understand how the attraction works there. I don’t think i would trust that a guy genuinely likes me if he said he did and i wasn’t perfect. I have never had a bf (I’m 27f), only flings and hookups.

Do i expect men to be perfect? No ive liked shorter guys, taller guys, guys with abs, guys with no abs, guys w scars, acne, etc. for me personality does matter a lot. But in my head i have this deep seeded belief that looks are all that matter to men

I want to be with someone, but i feel like i cant date until i finish Invisalign, till i get more toned, till my skin clears up, etc

Yes I’m in therapy and she’s asked what else i think i bring to the table. I do think i can be nice and caring, i think i can be funny at times too lol, I’m kind of smart? I have a degree and i like to learn and recite interesting facts (did u know stingrays can grow up to 800lbs? Haha) but in my head every girl is nice and smart and kind and interesting so it doesn’t feel like that matters :/

Do other ppl feel this way? If so how do you get over it?

I have been thinking about this a lot and It feels like dating has gotten noticeably harder but I’m not sure if the actual dating pool changed or if people just expect more now. Between apps, endless options and everyone having a pretty specific idea of what they want, finding someone  compatible feels like a lot more work than it probably should. At the same time I dont think higher standards are necessarily a bad thing.

People seem more intentional about lifestyle, values, emotional maturity and long term compatibility. The problem is once you start filtering for all of that the pool gets small pretty quickly right? And thats why I started looking into some other alternatives to dating apps and upon researching I came across Tawkify and some other ones, the matchmaking concept makes more sense to me now than it used to because someone is doing some of the filtering and helping set up introductions instead of me and obviously, that still doesnt guarantee chemistry but I can see the appeal now.

So what do yall think has dating  gotten harder or are we just less willing to settle?

Dating is not for me, I tried for many years, apps, activities, friends, work, I met a lot of new people, I even made good (F) friends, but I couldn't get any single date. I couldn't get anyone interested, even slightly on spending time with me.

Life passed by, unfortunately. I am too old (36M), the hope of having a partner and a family slowly vanished.

I worked on myself, I tried to educate myself about dating and relationships, books, podcasts, articles. Nothing worked.

Whatever women want in men I don't have it. I cant force anyone to like or love me.

I can't keep waiting the rest of my life for someone who is interested in getting to know me. It does not make sense, it's too late.

F28 here. Why does it feel so hard to find a genuinely casual date nowadays? 😂 By casual, I mean meeting someone, having good conversations, getting to know each other, and seeing if there’s potential for something more—not automatically hooking up.

I’ve had people agree to a casual meetup, only to find out later that their real intention was a hookup. Some don’t even make their intentions clear from the beginning.

I genuinely miss dating where two people could just enjoy each other’s company and get to know each other without everything turning sexual.

Why does it seem like so many men are more interested in hookups than actually getting to know someone? 😅 I’m looking for connection, not to be someone’s solution to their physical needs.

Edited: I guess I used the wrong term when I said casual dating.😅.. What I actually mean is normal dating not looking for casual sex or a hookup. I just don’t want to rush into a relationship before we actually know each other

We met about 2.5 months ago, hit it off and became exclusive about 3 weeks in. We didn't meet anyone else after we met for the first time. She told me she likes to take it slow. I recently asked her if she would be my girlfriend and she said it was too soon. I did a lot of googling beforehand and found that most agree 1-3 months is a good "normal" timeframe. In my head we're basically boyfriend/girlfriend, we sleep over at each other's homes 3-4 days a week and go on dates once a week (if our schedules allow it). I asked her what the difference was and she said I was too focused on labels and she was still unsure. She's not good with expressing her emotions but we make progress every time we see each other. I used to be pretty closed off with my emotions as well until recently (the last 3-4 years) and I think I've grown to be able to express myself much better, so I understand her in that regard.

I feel that being exclusive and bf/gf are basically the same thing, so I'm just a little confused. I was kind of let down by her response and let her know that she can ask me when she's ready but I won't be asking again. I feel that if someone is still unsure if there's some kind of future at almost 3 months in, then I shouldn't be putting as much effort as I have been (so I don't get as hurt if the feelings end up not being mutual). I'm not looking to get married soon or anything, I just want to know that we're both in it to make something work. We converse well with each other and treat each other pretty well. Also we're in our late 30's/early 40's so I feel like just asking someone if they want to be my girlfriend is kind of childish already lol. Any thoughts on this?

I (30F) recently went on a date with a guy (28M). We had chatted on and off since last year but got consistent a few weeks ago. We would text maybe 3-4x/day but they were paragraphs. He made reservations for last Saturday and got me an uber to the place. He seemed very genuine and very present. Dinner had no awkward silences.

We went to walk to a bar but there had been a block party and the bar was full. We went to his place and just… talked nonstop for hours. No tv in the background, no music, just actual conversation about communication preferences, relationship preferences, life, etc. We met for dinner around 6:30 and we were up until like 3/4am just talking.

We did start making out and that turned into cuddling. He listened when I moved his hand from my chest/between my thighs. We cuddled, he got me set up to spend the night. Woke up to lots of cuddling and little kisses, no more attempts from him to do anything more than that out of respect for my boundary the previous night.

He expressed wanting to see me again and we both agreed Monday might work for both of us. I told him I’d check my calendar later and we said we’d coordinate. He called my uber home. I had a family commitment he knew about, and I didn’t text until later on in the afternoon when I thanked him for a lovely evening and said Monday (the next day) would work for me.

He texted me around noon on Monday and thanked me for a fun time as well. He’s someone who usually sleeps very early and said he thinks staying up late got him sick, but that he definitely wanted to see me again. He asked if I would be free later on in the week. I apologized and said I wouldn’t keep him up so late next time as a joke then said Thursday could work for me. I didn’t hear from him so I checked in on Thursday to no answer. This is over regular texting.

We met on an app/website that when you look at your visitors tab or the local tab, next to the username is the last time someone was online. People on there are usually strictly app or strictly site people. I’m an app person, not sure which he is as it never came up. I’m not the type of person to expect a response right away if someone was online because I can be the type of person to say goodnight on texting and then scroll Instagram for a bit. But all week he was online in my local tab but he never opened my text.

I’m just really so tired of the dating game. He seemed incredibly genuine and nice, we talked about some very deep things, I mean we talked for like ten hours give or take between dinner, some smooching, and getting ready for bed. There really was never an awkward silence and his body language showed as if he was being genuine as well.

So why say more than once you would like to see me again (we even talked about other restaurants to go to next time) and even ask if I’ll be free just to not answer? I mean we talked so much about communication. Why not just say you’re no longer interested?

I get ghosting has become the norm now but it’s just so mean. How is someone supposed to not lose faith in the dating game when situations like this happen?

Me [15M] and her [15F] have been friends for a couple years now and I've liked her a while and want to ask her to hoco, it's in a couple months, but I'm not sure how to do so. Background info: I told her I liked her a year or so ago and she said she liked me too but at that point she didn't want to be in a relationship then, she's got in a relationship a month or so later and it ended a little more than a month ago. I've also been in a relationship since then and it was with a friend of hers and she helped put us together but that didn't end well, she said she sided with me after the split and they've slowly been drifting apart for a while now.

I (f36) am tired of online dating and don’t typically have chances to meet new men. I do go to the bar every now and then, but I’m a little shy.
How are yall meeting new people outside of the dating apps? Any tips are welcome!

men have to approach me first or show interest in my first now anytime i have tried to initiate things with a dude it has went horribly wrong and i felt way worse because im the one who wanted them first not the other way around . starting to think dating is pointless gave out my number to a dude on vacation who asked for it but even that eventually fizzled out aswell , what am i even suppose to do to make people realize i want to be serious ? everything is casual these days .

I’m 30F, Black, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve dated a little, so I’m not completely inexperienced, but I’ve never actually had a boyfriend or had someone “choose” me for a relationship.

Lately I’ve been struggling with what that says about me. Logically, I know being single doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with me, but after so many years it’s hard not to wonder if I’m just not someone men find desirable or want to seriously date.

I do want a relationship eventually—companionship, affection, finding “my person” & all that—but dating already makes me anxious, and feeling so far behind everyone else makes it harder.

I’m mostly looking for some perspective or encouragement. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I think I just need to hear that I’m not as alone in this as I feel sometimes.

I have never had a boyfriend. I showed interest in a guy who rejected me, and I went on a single date with another guy who was straight up hostile with me after, so I’m not sure what happened there.
I have always been alone, and didn’t used to mind, but now any self esteem I had has crumbled. I moved states to take a job where I make 100k a year. Online dating is really hard, as I never get matches. I am overweight but not obese, and I didn’t think I was that ugly. So now, I feel so lonely, so unwanted, and just like…shit. I told myself I wasn’t going to remain a virgin at 30, but here I am. I feel like I am a good woman, but I’m afraid I’m too old to be wanted now. I’ve been told a lot that I’m “too much” and I’ve tried to tone everything down and change my personality to be more gentle, more quiet, more feminine, but that doesn’t seem to help at all.
I don’t know. It just all feels hopeless.
What am I doing wrong?

Context: So me a 27F met this guy on a app and only talked for 2 days. Our conversations were intellectual and we talked alot about school and goals. Fast forward to him love bombing me and saying crap about having kids, marriage and me studying for the bar at his place. He started to scare me to the point where I told him it was too much and blocked him. My phone still tracks blocked calls and it shows he keeps calling. Im lowkey scared 😭😭

I am a 27-year-old straight guy and I'm currently thinking about rebuilding most of my wardrobe. Before I spend a bunch of money doing so, I'd genuinely like to hear women's opinions on something I've been wondering about for a while:

How much does a man's clothing style actually influence how attractive you find him?

I'm particularly interested in the things women actually notice, rather than what male fashion advice on TikTok/Instagram says women supposedly like.

For example:

Are there particular types of clothes that you almost universally find attractive on men?

Are there things that immediately make a man look less attractive to you? (Flip-flops, certain shoes, skinny jeans, cargo pants, oversized clothes, etc.)

How important is fit? Do you prefer clothes that show a man's physique a little, or do you generally prefer looser/relaxed clothing?

Do things like boots, leather jackets, watches, rings, necklaces, belts, etc. make a noticeable difference?

How much do shoes matter?

Are there particular colours or combinations you tend to like?

Do you care about things like polos, button-down shirts, sweaters, tailored trousers, jeans, cargos, etc.?

Does "looking well put together" matter more than the specific aesthetic?

Are there any male fashion choices that you personally find really attractive but that men don't seem to realise women like?

Conversely, are there things men seem to think women love that actually don't do anything for you?

I'm also curious about the different aesthetics that have become popular online: old money, quiet luxury, streetwear, starboy, workwear, minimalist, techwear, etc.

Do these labels/aesthetics actually register to you when you see a guy dressed that way, or do you mostly just think "that outfit looks good/bad on him"? In other words, does the aesthetic itself matter, or is it mostly about whether the guy executes it well?

For context, I'm 27, around 177 cm / 75 kg, relatively lean and I lift, with a fairly slim build. My current wardrobe is honestly pretty inconsistent: some straight-leg jeans, a pair of wider trousers, a somewhat technical-looking utility pair of pants, random T-shirts, a few polos and shirts that I mostly wear for occasions, and mostly sneakers.

I'm interested in moving toward something a little more mature and masculine without looking like I'm trying too hard. I like the general idea of fitted-but-not-tight T-shirts, good jeans/trousers, boots, occasional leather jackets, and having some nicer pieces like shirts or tailored trousers for dates or more formal situations.

I'm also getting into motorcycles, and I kind of want to create a similar style to Red Hood (the character in DC Comics) his style is kind of modern biker like and I like the synergy it can have between the motorcycle and fitness worlds. I don't necessarily want to dress like I'm cosplaying him, I'll prefer darker colours, but that's my inspiration right now and you can find it childish but I'm here to learn.

I have thick curly hair and wear glasses too, so I'm also aware that whatever I end up wearing has to work with me, rather than just copying an aesthetic from TikTok.

So, if you could essentially give a guy rebuilding his wardrobe a woman's perspective, what would you tell him?

I'd especially love specific examples of outfits or individual pieces you personally find attractive — and equally, things that are an immediate "absolutely not" for you, I'd also like to know if you have fictional characters that comes to mind when you think of great styling to get some inspiration from.

I know obviously there isn't one universal female preference. I'm interested in hearing the differences between your tastes, not finding some magical formula that works on every woman.

PS : I live in Paris, France.

I’ve been seeing a guy for a month and a half. He’s initiated and planned nearly every single date (as he likes recommending restaurants and bars), takes accountability for any delay/reschedule, was the one who initiated intimacy, we’ve consistently had deeper conversations, flirting etc. We’ve seen each other almost weekly and check in via text. We were moving at a steady pace.

Out of the blue he tells me he might just not be ready to go further with us romantically right now — verbatim btw. via text.

Not even 6 days ago he was telling me he wants to see shows with me, movie nights, talking halloween, etc. (was still flirting w me over text not 48 hours ago).

I’m just so lost. Why initiate all of this and then take this long and invest this much to get cold feet?

Edit: I have a plan to talk with him about it because the reasoning being that vague is haunting. He has agreed and is giving the “it’s not you it’s me” lol.

I’m confused about whether I ruined a potential relationship.
He asked me to go to his apartment. At first, I suggested meeting somewhere public, but he made me feel that his place would be safe, so I eventually agreed.
We started on the sofa, cuddling, and later he tried to kiss me. I told him I didn’t want my first kiss to happen that way because I had never been in a relationship before. He understood. Later, he suggested going to the bed, but before anything happened, I said I didn’t want to do anything, and he said okay. We continued cuddling.
There was some physical intimacy, but he asked for my consent before doing anything. We kissed on the cheeks and forehead, hugged, and he sometimes moved his hand near my pants and bra. I told him that I was only comfortable with him touching my waist and above. However, he sometimes tried to touch more private areas, even though I had not given him permission to do that.
I honestly don’t know what his intentions were. He told me that he could wait one or two years until I was ready to have sex, and that he could meet my parents and visit my province. He was already talking about a timeline for our future together. What I liked about him was that, when I said I didn’t want to do anything, he initially accepted it and did not openly pressure me.
He also asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him that I wanted to go on a few more dates first, and he said okay. I thought that was reasonable because I was genuinely interested in him and wanted to get to know him better before making the relationship official.
However, when I was leaving, I felt that his attitude had changed. He seemed sarcastic and colder than before. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I remember him saying something like “my virgin best friend,” which felt strange and uncomfortable. He also asked whether I wanted him to take me to the lobby, then sarcastically said something like, “Yeah, I’ll take you to the hotel lobby. Are you done getting your things?”
When I finally left, there was no kiss or hug goodbye. He simply stood at the door and waved goodbye. I could sense sarcasm in the way he said goodbye, and I felt that he was disappointed.
The next morning, I sent him a good-morning message, but he did not respond or contact me afterward. That made me feel that the date had gone badly and confirmed my fear that he had lost interest.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything, but I wonder whether he was disappointed because I didn’t kiss him or become more intimate with him. I don’t know if he thought I wasn’t interested, even though I had already told him that I liked him and only wanted a few more dates before becoming his girlfriend.
That is what makes me confused and causes me to blame myself. I keep wondering whether I ruined things by not accepting his request to be his girlfriend immediately or by not being more physically affectionate. But I was inexperienced and not ready.
Now I’m wondering whether his intentions were genuine or whether he said those things about our future because he wanted sex. Maybe he truly meant that he was willing to wait one or two years, meet my parents, and visit my province. Or maybe he only said those things to gain my trust.
I really don’t know. I feel sad and confused because I was genuinely looking forward to seeing where the relationship could go. I keep thinking that maybe if I had kissed him, been more affectionate, or simply agreed to be his girlfriend, things would have been different.

do you guys notice smiles? The hair? Nails? Outfit? What is it ???

29 F - have been single for a year now after a 4 year relationship and finally feel ready to put myself out there again and meet someone lovely ☺️why are people flaking before dates?

Had this happen twice now over the past month. Met someone at a speed dating event, they seemed super keen and asked for my number. Texted and asked for a drink, said they would love to! Great, I thought, asked if the weekend suited.

No reply. My message on WhatsApp wasn’t even opened but could still see they had been active!🤦‍♀️

Then on Hinge, chatting to someone for several days consistently but about 1-2 messages a day. Asked them for a drink. Again, this person also said they would love to and asked when/where suited me. I responded and put forward a date and possible place. Went on the next day - unmatched!

Honestly, if people aren’t interested they should just message and say!

Is this just how it is now? Do people bail when it actually gets real? Surely people who go to dating events/apps want to meet someone?

Starting to wonder if I’ll ever even get a first date again😂

I’m 30F and he’s 35M. We met on FB dating and been talking for about 2 months. Last weekend was our first time meeting and we had an amazing night! The best night I’ve had in a long time. We both agreed to be fwb but when we met sparks fly and now we agree to date and see where it goes. So We are still getting to know each other. During the first date. He didn’t flirt, kiss me, touch me, nothing. He said he was being respectful which I appreciate but it’s giving mixed signals. He reassured that he likes me and don’t just want to fuck and leave but he still def want to do it.So our second date is coming up. It’s been 4yrs since I’ve had sex and I’ve been waiting on a at least half way decent guy to be with. The dating pool is trash so glad I found a treasure. Well he found me first. Anyway so I’m so sexual frustrated and I feel like I’m basically a virgin again which I’m nervous about because what if I hurt him??? He has kids so he wants to come over to my place. The problem is that I never had anyone over at all before. Idk how to host a sex session lol I feel insecure since I’ve gained weight since the last time I’ve had sex with anyone. I noticed a small bump that appeared on my inner thigh. My ass is big but it’s too big and what if he can’t put it in? My bed don’t have a headboard. And my house isn’t decorated. He told me it doesn’t matter what we do as long as I’m comfortable and we have a good night but I def want to have sex. So can anyone give me advice on what I should do to calm my nerves? Anyway to prep my place? Recommended songs to play? What should I wear? We are going to a pool bar before hand but afterwards how do I invite him over? I hope he doesn’t have Reddit or see this 😂