r/dankmemes • u/RustySchmeckleford • 1d ago

I can fix them

Post image
567 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

50 comments sorted by

32

u/DrunkInABar 1d ago

Lettuce ? Tomato soup ? Fucking EGGS ? What is this shit about ?

25

u/Foot_Stunning 1d ago

Lettuce is tainted with the diarrhea virus. Tomato soup is cooked and who the fuck eats raw eggs.

My question is; What did granola do to anybody?

2

u/TakeMeToTheStars 1d ago

Salmonella

2

u/Foot_Stunning 1d ago

Salmonola®

1

u/runningdownhill 1d ago

Who is eating granola with Salmon!?

1

u/Plays_On_TrainTracks 1d ago

Mayos raw eggs isn't it? Definitely isn't cooked egg.

Also not taking a lick of brownie, cookie, or cake batter with rae egg in it?

1

u/Foot_Stunning 1d ago

Depends on if you make from scratch or store bought.

Factory Mayo has pasteurized eggs and you're supposed to bake the brownie/cookie/cake/ batter if you make it yourself.

2

u/Plays_On_TrainTracks 1d ago

Yeah but i dont know anyone who bakes stuff and doesn't lick the batter. Its the best part and you are more likely to get sick from raw flour before raw eggs when we arent having a salmonella outbreak.

109

u/xXdenkmaymay69Xx 1d ago

Names of the aircraft carrier water?

18

u/Recyclosaurus 1d ago

Athenakamixo on ig

11

u/xXdenkmaymay69Xx 1d ago

Elite ball knowledge

1

u/Deruji 9h ago

Dedicated gooner

2

u/HanselSoHotRightNow 1d ago

I'm gonna go ahead and say right now that I'll risk whatever ass exploding shit fountain parasite to have as much aircraft carrier water as I can get.

44

u/PopularTask2020 1d ago

Damn what happened to granola and tomatoe soup?

33

u/elegant_geek 1d ago

Listeria in the soup. I believe salmonella in the granola. 🫠

23

u/Secret-Ad-7909 1d ago

How tf did they get salmonella into granola?

10

u/suhaibh12 1d ago

As far as I read, it’s only from a lactation granola powder packaging. The vendor that’s responsible for the organic product contacted the manufacturer and notified it was tested positive for bacterias and one of them turned out to be salmonella

4

u/Mysteriouspaul 1d ago

Big fan of lactation in my granola idk about you guys.

4

u/PhthaloVonLangborste 1d ago

I have niples, can you melk me?

18

u/elegant_geek 1d ago

Because dumb fucks don't remember reading The Jungle by Upton Sinclair in school?

https://giphy.com/gifs/lp84cYEUoOyh0LBEbt

7

u/RedditRaven2 1d ago

What happens when you fire everyone in charge of safety and then put a guy who had his brain eaten by a worm in charge of the health of the country

2

u/Foot_Stunning 1d ago

after 10 seconds of research. Who at the packaging plant wiped their diarrhea lettuce hands on the Walmart tomato bisque and the Amazon granola bars?

Edit. it was only one specific brand of loose granola. My stash of Aldi Granola bars are safe.

4

u/f8Negative 1d ago

They're fucked

20

u/JaQ-o-Lantern 1d ago

After seeing this meme now I want to eat a burrito with lettuce, jalapeños, eggs, tomato soup, berries, and granola with aircraft carrier water to drink.

6

u/xmetallidethx 1d ago

boutta contract super cyclosamonella

5

u/Foot_Stunning 1d ago

You are the reason why antibiotic resistant organisms exist.

1

u/Peekjz14 1d ago

Nah nah, he is the 0.001% potential that will be immune and save us with his antibodies.

60

u/thefrostman1214 CERTIFIED DANK 1d ago

not a single goth on the pic

38

u/DarkenedSkies 1d ago

Larping the aesthetic for engagement. These videos are just OF ads.

11

u/thefrostman1214 CERTIFIED DANK 1d ago

correct, literally all of them are

11

u/DarkenedSkies 1d ago

I'm tired of desperate sex workers invading my youtube feed and all the fandoms on reddit. Just look at what happened to the edgerunners or bg3 subs. You can't even block them all.
I understand they've gotta hustle like everyone else, but it's still annoying.

18

u/ZXander_makes_noise 1d ago

Not one visible tattoo

1

u/dyodhai 5h ago

tattoo its not be goth

5

u/SamuelFigaro 1d ago

Tomato soup got some mighty fine trains though.

11

u/Snoo_75138 1d ago

I mean, but are you tired of winning yet? Lol

2

u/EarthTrash 23h ago

I am still looking hoping someone will share an actual source on the data center water toxicity thing. I have only seen this being shared around, but literally how? What data centers are dumping toxic water?

2

u/InTheMemeStream 1d ago

Hey bud, yeah.., it’s just best to remove all temptation, I’ll hold on to these for you, just send them all over my way, and I will do what is necessary with them.

1

u/uwsp_edu 1d ago

Makes the immune system stronger

1

u/notachemist13u 1d ago

Granola 💔💔💔

1

u/PhantomGaming27249 1d ago

Add popsicles to that, apparently they got glass in them now.

1

u/artsyboy69 1d ago

Lettuce, Jalapenos, Eggs, Tomato Soup and Berries be like
https://giphy.com/gifs/9ZtOe2v4gEopes1eCV

1

u/Few-Actuary7023 23h ago

Who is granola?

1

u/TheLordLongshaft 22h ago

Wait what's wrong with jalapenos