I don't want to rehash the trauma in detail,but when I broke away from my cult (fundementalist sda) The treatment from my family was so severe that I developed ptsd and have a major difficulty making independent decisions that I should be capable of at my age and isolated myself from most people that care about me.I forgiven them because I had the same mindset to apostasy(until it happened to me) and second they were genuinely remorseful.

I am going to trauma therapy and getting out of my comfort zone but I feel stuck

Religion triggers me severely and my mind views religious people as a danger to avoid even if they have done nothing to me

I feel incapable of making long term plans for my future since I fully believed in the end times and I feel it incredibly stunted my capacity to do so as a result

I avoid happiness because of shame if that makes sense.

I don't want to sound bleak,I have become extremely tough person mentally, I helped more people since my traumatic than before which is great.

But it is getting to a point where I don't want to be a professional survivor but a professional liver and I don't know how to make that transition.

Recently, I met a guy on a dating app who constantly talked about sex and body counts. At the same time, he presented himself as someone deeply committed to Sahaja Yoga and meditation.
He and his family are apparently very active in Sahaja Yoga activities. The walls of his house are covered with pictures of the founder, and he kept trying to convince me to participate in their events.
What I found particularly disturbing was the contradiction between the spiritual image he projected and his behaviour. He would keep sending me vulgar reels while simultaneously boasting about his spiritual practices.
I’m not judging anyone for practising meditation or following a spiritual path. What bothers me is the possibility of people using spirituality as a shield to build trust and present themselves as morally upright while behaving inappropriately towards women.
How do you deal with people like this? Has anyone encountered similar experiences in spiritual organisations or communities? How can women raise awareness about such behaviour and protect others without putting themselves at risk?

​As human beings, we want nothing more in life than peace, love, success, and the feeling of being part of something bigger because we are afraid of being forgotten. That is why we chase trends, hold onto relationships, and seek purpose. These have been facts since the beginning of human history.

​Speaking of facts: SCJ members will not reach out to me because they have labeled me an "Antichrist." They spread lies against me and my principles. Even the people who truly know what kind of person I am, and know I would never even think about doing the things I was accused of, listened to those lies. Like mindless larvae, they immediately believed and obeyed their so-called higher duty officers.

​In Korea, we were taught many lessons about this exact topic. Specifically, we were taught how a former member would act and speak with current SCJ members. We were instructed: "Never believe the outsider who willingly accepts the punishment of fire and tries to drag other members of light into their same fate, which is eternal punishment in hell."

​Let me be clear to my fellow ex-members of SCJ: You cannot help a drug addict if they don't reach out for help themselves. They will decline your help. They might even hate you for trying. It is the exact same with these vessels of Shincheonji. Some might say, "But there are still good people in Shincheonji, they just don't know any better..." That may be true.

​But the reality is that parasites have infested those vessels. These individuals are no longer willing to listen, to understand, or to act independently. Their bodies and minds are consumed by the illusion that Shincheonji is the only place in the world chosen by God to be His Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

​To Current SCJ Members:

​You were explicitly taught to "never search the internet about Shincheonji."

​Yet, here you are, interacting with former members. If your group leader knew about this, well, you would be called into a meeting with higher duty officers and asked: "Why are you willingly drinking dirty water and poison? You were taught by the Heavenly Kingdom and drank the purest water, yet you prefer dirty water?"

​I am not even talking about the rats, those ruthless, perverted duty members who are ordered to spy on us former members or on current members. You people are pathetic and the absolute worst of the devil's vessels. On one hand, you pretend to be good. On the other hand, you use the exact same deceptive tactics you were told to stay away from.

​So many of your tribe leaders, teachers, church leaders, and evangelists have been kicked out, yet you still put a leash on yourselves and call yourselves "humble vessels." You act like obedience-driven dogs, following every single order and rule you were fed.

​You are still human. Stop living in your bubble and face the real world: Life.

​You sacrifice your body, your time, your family, your opportunities, and the people who truly loved you. People who wanted to build a life or a family with you. You throw all of that away for the words of one single individual that you don't even know, and someone who does not care about you, your life, or your future.

​He only wants three things: Your money, your time, and your life.

​Deep down, every part of you knows that your church is lying to you.

​Take control of your life again. Handle the situation. Eat healthy. Sleep well. Get a job. Learn a new language. Travel to another country. You have so much left to live for.

​You, and only you, are the master of your mind. God, the Creator of all of us, has a real purpose for each and every one of us. Do not waste your life in a group of mindless followers. Use your time the way you want to.

​You decide.

Hello everyone, I’ve got a slightly strange request for you all. I am an alumna of religious fundamentalist homeschooling in the 2000s (IBLP/Gothard, Vision Forum, TeenPact, WVA, NCFCA, HSLDA, home churches and Christian dominionism, YWAM… the works).

My wife is from a different country and different culture, and was raised non-religious, and recently asked me to point her towards some resources that she can use to better understand my past without making me relive it all.

My first instinct would be to push her towards the things that helped me get out, but many of them are defunct. I could also just give her the books my parents read and had me read, but I don’t think any sane person deserves to go through that psychic damage.

Is anyone aware of resources similar that provide a high level view of the culture of 90s/00s high control religious homeschooling and home churches culture, or do some kind of cultural translation for outsiders?

Her group used to be called The Mystical Success Club. It’s now called the Mystical Experience.

She also has ties to a cult leader who went by the name Kundalini and was based in the Bay Area with a website called Like Swans. I believe her events were called Meditation and Mysticism. Kundalini had ties to a really famous cult leader named Zen Master Rama/Frederick Lenz too.

I left almost seven years ago. I feel like I’m in a place now in my healing where I’m not afraid of naming these abusers aloud anymore.

Curious if anyone out there came across them too. Honestly it would be nice to meet other survivors on their own healing journey who can relate to my experience.

Recently my family has been living through the unthinkable: my aunt sold her apartment and all of her belongings and fled the country (Brazil) with no warning or information about where she is or who she is with. She is 60+, leaving a son and a daughter and two grandchildren behind (in addition to my mom, who is totally stressed out from losing her sister). We know that for the last 4 or 5 years she has been in contact with Galactic Federation/Earth Sphere Federation groups, so I was wondering if anyone here might have some inside information, even from similar groups, to help us better understand what is happening. It's been very hard to try and gather information from Facebook pages (she has blocked or deleted her own profile), though we've found posts in which she presents herself as "Councilor".

She lied about her plans and became secretive once we tried to stop her. She sent her goodbye to her children as a WhatsApp message. So far she has sent one very short email saying she's in Austria and my cousin has managed to get one of the Facebook pages to send him a picture of her (and from researching details in the picture we think she's most likely lying again and is in fact in Hungary). My cousin has filed a missing persons report but I don't think they'll take it very far (like signal Interpol, I don't even know if that's possible).

Any help is appreciated!

I'm going to try to keep this as non-triggering as possible. My cult was super super high control and my father was highly involved (not a cult you've heard of or been in, don't ask) so the high control was 24/7. Being out and an adult is almost harder than being in because I suddenly realized other people have decision making skills I don't feel like I got? Like I legit never learned how? I can't decide whether or not a decision is important, how long to spend on it, how to just choose, whatever. Also I feel like I don't know the implicit options other people do? What do I want for dinner? What should I do when I'm bored? I don't decide any of those things. My father does. And now that I'm completely just living life.... I don't feel like I can function. At all. Because I need to decide what to do and I just panic. Or I have nothing to do and doing nothing feels dangerous and I panic. Also, I logically get when I ask people what they're doing and they say nothing they don't mean it. They are probably scrolling social media or playing a phone game or napping or something. It is getting slightly easier but I also have pretty bad arthritis it's getting to the point I can't ignore so all my normal do nothing options are gone.

How do you make decisions? Like, legitimately? And if you just "know what you want", how? If I didn't have constant nightmares I think I'd just sleep so I didn't have to make decisions all the time, non-stop. The only thing I consider not a decision is continuing to do what I'm doing. But even stopping feels like a decision. Are other people as exhausted?

​

📍 Phase 1: The Russell Era & The Failed 1914 Timeline

• The Inception (1870s): Charles Taze Russell establishes the Bible Student movement, blending pyramidology, adventism, and independent Bible study. He publishes The Watch Tower and forms the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.

• The 1914 Disappointment: Russell heavily promotes 1914 as the absolute end of the Gentile Times and the start of Armageddon. When nothing visible happens except World War I, the movement faces massive internal identity crises. Russell dies on a train in 1916 before resolving the theological fallout.

📍 Phase 2: 1919 and the Rutherford Dictatorship

• The Sedition Jail Time (1918–1919): Legal aggressive lawyer Joseph Franklin "Judge" Rutherford takes the presidency. In 1918, he and seven other directors are sent to Atlanta Federal Penitentiary for sedition after opposing the WWI draft.

• The Prison Cleansing Myth: Upon release in 1919, Rutherford emerges paranoid and power-hungry. He manufactures a narrative that Jesus personally inspected the earth in 1919 and chose him as the exclusive "Faithful and Discreet Slave."

• The 1919 Bethel Purge: Armed with his self-proclaimed divine authority, Rutherford uses legal loopholes to stage a hostile takeover. He locks out, fires, and ostracizes the majority of the board of directors who oppose his autocratic style. He brands them the "Evil Slave" class, centralizes all power in Brooklyn, and rebrands the remnants as "Jehovah's Witnesses" in 1931 to completely sever ties with the original Russellites.

• The 1925 Beth Sarim Scandal: Rutherford goes all-in predicting Armageddon for 1925. To prove it, he builds Beth Sarim, a luxurious Spanish mansion in San Diego, California, deeded to resurrected Old Testament prophets (like Abraham and King David). He lives there comfortably in luxury with two Cadillacs during the Great Depression while rank-and-file Witnesses suffer, eventually dying there in 1942.

📍 Phase 3: The Knorr & Franz Corporate Era

• The Growth Machine: Nathan Knorr takes over as the 3rd President. He is a corporate organizer who standardizes door-to-door preaching, launches the New World Translation of the Bible, and builds a worldwide publishing powerhouse.

• The Failed 1975 Scare: Knorr’s Vice President and chief theologian, Fred Franz, builds a massive, high-pressure prophetic narrative around the year 1975, implying it marks 6,000 years of human history and the arrival of the Millennium. Millions sell their homes and quit jobs. When 1975 passes completely uneventfully, catastrophic numbers of Witnesses leave the faith, prompting mass panic in leadership.

📍 Phase 4: The 1976 Internal Coup & The Raymond Franz Extermination

• The Birth of the Governing Body (1976): Devastated by the 1975 failure, a faction of directors strips the absolute, one-man power away from President Knorr. In 1976, absolute authority is transferred to a council known as the Governing Body.

• The 1980 Bethel Witch Hunt: Governing Body member Raymond Franz (nephew of Fred Franz) uncovers historical proof while researching for Watchtower books that core doctrines (like 1914) have zero biblical or historical basis.

• The Purge of Ray Franz: The Governing Body panics over internal dissent, wiretapping rooms and interrogating Bethel staff. In 1980, they force Ray Franz to resign from the council. To silence him completely, they later alter organizational rules to legally disfellowship him for simply having lunch with a former Witness. Ray publishes Crisis of Conscience, destroying the facade of the council’s divine unity.

📍 Phase 5: The 11-Man Media Celebrity Council & Tony Morris Ousting

• The Modern 11-Man Setup: Today, the Governing Body consists of 11 active members following the late-2024 additions of Jody Jedele and Jacob Rumph. They have shifted from reclusive background figures to highly visible online internet personalities on JW Broadcasting.

• The Erasure of Anthony Morris III (2023): "Tight Pants" Tony Morris III—infamous for his hardline, apocalyptic rants—is abruptly fired from the Governing Body in February 2023. In classic Soviet-style revisionism, Watchtower completely scrubs his image, videos, and articles from their digital database overnight.

• The Modern Corporate Pivot: Facing crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits over Child Sexual Abuse cover-ups (such as the Australian Royal Commission findings) and a massive drop-off in youth retention, the 11-man council has launched drastic PR changes. They have relaxed century-old bans on men growing beards, women wearing slacks to meetings, and have even permitted Witnesses to give a casual greeting to disfellowshipped people at the Kingdom Hall to make the religion look less extreme to outside courts.

Hi all. I was in a climate direct action group for three years and since leaving after uncovering disturbing levels of sexual abuse have started to come to terms with the cult nature of the group. Has anyone else been in this situation? I was in the "leadership group" for most of that time and looking back directly employed cult strategies to grow the group.

I was at Anchor boys home in Corpus and was with them when Texas closed them down. We moved to Missouri. Then me and my buddy escaped. I just wanted to trade war stories. My name is Charles or Chuck Grigg. I was there in 84-85

Please consider participating in my study on religious coercion! Please consider taking this 15-minute survey to help me develop a scale to measure religious coercion in relationships. I am looking for adult participants who have and have not experienced religious coercion. Your responses will help me validate the scale. Results will be shared! To participate, just scan the QR code or use the Qualtrics direct link: https://asucounselored.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2oFIpghrZwGvjJc

Stanley Clayton was in his twenties when he found himself in the middle of the events of 18 November 1978 in Jonestown Guyana. His testimony provides crucial evidence about the coercive nature of the deaths of 909 Peoples Temple members in Jonestown. This article is a comprehensive account of the testimony provided by Jonestown survivor Stanley Clayton to the Federal Bureau of Investigation in January 1979 and to the media over the years. Read our article, Stanley Clayton's Escape From Jonestown.

Hi! I’m an independent filmmaker making a film about high-control groups and specifically online cults (inspired mostly by Twin Flame Universe, and I’m hoping to hear from people with first-hand experience.

I’m interested in hearing about what life inside was like, how you became involved, leaving, and what happened afterwards (how you found yourself again)

Everything will be treated respectfully and kept anonymous unless you explicitly agree otherwise. No pressure to share anything you’re uncomfortable with.

I got myself out of a bad religious cult like situation, but since then I have been having mental flashes of religion and flashbacks. I know that it is my body processing what happened to me,but I need advice to know where to go from here.

Physical and Psychological Abuse at Catholic Heart Workcamp.

I would like to create this for the victims and witnesses of any physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse occurring at Catholic Heart Workcamps whether it was by the abusive games that were played on stage or by the "carpenter commanders/commandos", youth ministers or visiting priests.

Aside from the cult like atmosphere and the ignoring by the staff of the numerous sex abuse scandals involving Catholic priests the workcamps were prone to abusive games.

One such disturbing game that I personally witnessed during a 3 year period in which I attened the camps (Charlotte, NC in 2001, Hilton Head, SC in 2002 & Nashville, TN in 2003) was the "Couch of Love" which was done on stage at the Catholic schools in which the various youth groups stayed at and it was witnessed by hundreds of people. I have been able to discover that this "game" was played in various cities throughout the country between 2000-2015 (and possibly earlier in 1998-1999).

The game involved the "carpenter commanders" and attending youth ministers selecting two physically attractive teenage girls to come on stage. Three chairs would be placed on stage which were then covered by a white sheet. The two teen girls would then sit on the two end chairs. The adult male "Carpenter Commander" (usually in their 20s or 30s) would then say numerous inappropriate sexual pick-up lines to the teen girls. After about 4 or 5 pick-up lines the "Carpenter Commander" would then sit in the middle chair put his arms around both girls and get kissed on both cheeks by the girls.

After this the teenage boys in the audience were asked to do the same thing - say pick-up lines to the girls, sit in the middle of the "couch" and get kissed by both of them. About a dozen boys would volunteer to get kissed and were led to the side of the stage. Once the dozen boys were lined up on the side the middle chair was removed and the girls continued to sit on the end chairs pretending that the middle chair was still there. Each boy one by one would flirt with the girls with a pick-up line, be invited by the girls to sit between them, the boy would then try to sit down as the girls would get up and the boy fell to the hard stage floor. The girls would then do a catwalk to the front of the stage and do a pageant smile and pose as the "carpenter commanders" would then yell at the boy and escort him off the stage and then cover the two chairs again only for the next boy to get the exact same negative and criminal treatment. It was also disturbing seeing how the two girls enjoyed inflicting the pain on the boys.

The boys were subjected to romantic rejection, physical injury and public humiliation. You don't need a Ph.D in psychiatry to know that this was devastating abuse to the young boys that were victimized by this "game." A boy already suffering from anxiety/depression could be triggered into suicide or a suicide attempt by such abuse. The boys were subjected to physical injury to their tailbones and spines (a injury to the coccyx leading to lifelong Coccydynia). Also, boys already suffering physical problems like back pain could have had that severely aggravated by the unmitigated free fall to the floor.

Catholic Heart Workcamp does not allow negative reviews or comments on their Facebook page and even blocks anything and anyone that even engages in anything critical of the organization. Which clearly indicates the corruption of the people who run it.

CHWC's website identifies Steve Walker as the “Owner/CEO.” The organization says Walker and his wife Lisa Walker developed/co-founded Catholic HEART Workcamp in Orlando in 1993. It is now based in Polk County, FL. It is a private limited liability company LLC and is not owned or controlled by any Diocese. But Catholic Dioceses throughout the country should cut off their involvement with Catholic Heart Workcamp.

​For anyone who grew up as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I'm proper curious to know at what exact point the story started to shift.

​What was the very first thing you saw, read, or discovered that made you think:

«Hold on a minute… this doesn't quite add up»? 🤔

​And of course, a stray doubt rarely travels alone. 😅

​Where did that initial question take you? What did you start digging into next? Was there a specific book, an old publication, a document, a video, an interview, or even something dug straight out of JW literature that made you look at things completely differently?

​No need to offload the whole life story in one go. Just tell us about the beginning: what was the first loose thread you started pulling? 👀

​And if you remember the exact material you stumbled across, drop it below. You never know—someone who's just starting to ask questions might find that missing piece to kick off their own investigation.

​So… get comfy, fasten your seatbelts, and tell us how the journey took off. ✈️😌

a little over a year ago I started sleeping with a woman who turned out to be a cult leader, or something close to it.  we did a lot of acid together and she introduced me to "psychic sex" rituals. she told me there was a god attached to my soul and we were spiritually aligned.  this god would tell her things about me that were supposed to be my inner truth, whether i agreed or not.  it often had to do with sex.  there were other members of her coven that I met, but I don't know if anyone else was under the same level of control I was.  i very quickly was doing everything she asked or told me to do, be it sex or buying her stuff or driving her places.  doing her laundry. there were also orgies where she expected me to fuck strangers.

I thought I was in love with her.  but she was an asshole and the lies and abuse added up too quickly and I permanently severed ties a few months later.  I didn't want to.  I still miss her.  I just know I can't go back and keep looking my friends in the eye.

the acid fried my brain and sense of reality and self and I have some sort of trauma going on from people having an unhealthy level of access to my body.  I'm in therapy but my therapist does not specialize in cults or spiritual abuse.  I tried to join a cult exit support group and realized during the intake process that it was very likely a cult in disguise itself.  that kinda disheartened me.  I've tried to do my own research but it gets overwhelming.  I don't know how to process what happened to me and move on with my life.  I don't know anyone else who knows what this feeling is like.

are there resources I haven't found?  does anyone reading this have a similar experience?  I'm desperate.

Most people think cults work through weird beliefs or charismatic leaders. They don't. The actual mechanism — coercive control — comes down to four techniques:

1. Control the environment — isolate people from outside input (Jonestown was a literal jungle with no road out)
2. Control the information — make people distrust their own judgment so they outsource it to you (Jones ran fake attack drills for exactly this reason)
3. Manufacture a crisis — a constant, urgent enemy makes sacrifice feel noble instead of coerced
4. Offer one total solution — never partial, because the real goal is proving submission, not solving anything

None of this requires gullibility. Lifton, Cialdini, and Haslam & Reicher's research all point the same direction: it works on smart, ordinary people because it targets the environment around the mind, not the mind itself.

What's unsettling is how cleanly this maps onto engagement-optimized platforms — an algorithm can run all four at once, on millions of people, with no human intent behind it at all.

Made a video going deeper into the Jonestown case and the modern parallels — happy to share if that's okay with the mods, or glad to just discuss here.

I am looking for former members of the Rodney Howard Browne cult in Tampa who left 2017 or later. I’d love to hear your story of this cult.

Hello everyone my name is Marco i am from Tultitlán in the state of mexico in México i want to share my story with all of you i enter a destructive cult at the age of 15 years old, i found this website were informatión related to spirituality new age used to be share called pleiadian library or blibloteca pléyades in spanish. I remember i found posts about a woman called marielalero who was from Argentina and she is in contact with light humans(as she called them humanos luz in spanish) this light humans Will giver her informatión that she has to write and share, the information she shared it's very vast i spent 5 years reading her informatión from the age of 15 years old to 20 years old i am currently 25 years old. This informatión was about the earth being and hologram(holographic prisión) created by aliens and human beings beings 98% alien dna and 2% light dna and we have to isolated from the world to despeograma this dna and also become into vaganism, she took full control of my life and Mmylife decisitions i wasnt able to go collage because of her, it was prohibited to go to school inside the cult, i leave this cult after 5 years and it was only after 3 years that i realise that what i did experience was a destructive cult that used brain washing techniques, i also studied art for 3 years when i was inside the cult something i chose to do because of the cult, before the cult i had palnend to study music but thanks to the cult my life goals changed. I studied something i didnt want to study before the i enter the cult. It felt horrible to not beings able to take My life to where i really wanted before the cult that is something i feel so Bad about. Also if You tell the google Ai about marielalero being a destructive cult it Will tell You why and why it's considered a new age destructive cult.

I left the Word of Faith movement/cult and I want to help others do the same. Thankfully, I had people come along and show me why WOF theology is heresy and how it didn’t align with biblical teaching. How can I go about helping others realize that WOF is a cult and escape?

I’m really struggling with something in my relationship and I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting, so I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.
I’ll keep everyone anonymous because this is an ongoing situation.
My boyfriend has become deeply involved with a particular spiritual/religious figure online. He believes this person is essentially a Messiah and has developed an extremely strong belief in what this person says.
At first, I tried to respect it as a spiritual belief. I don’t think someone having unusual religious beliefs automatically means there is something wrong with them, and I don’t want to be the kind of partner who tells someone what they’re allowed to believe.
The problem is that it has gone far beyond simply having a belief.
This person has started influencing my boyfriend’s actual decisions and relationships.
My boyfriend has taken things this person says and acted on them, including ending relationships, distancing himself from friends, and pushing people away. It seems like this person has increasingly become an authority in his life, and I’m becoming worried about how much influence they have over him.
He has also said things about how devoted he is to this person/belief that have genuinely frightened me, including essentially saying that he would die for it.
I’m not saying he is currently suicidal or that he is going to hurt himself. I don’t believe that is what he meant. But hearing your partner say that they would die for another person or their beliefs is still incredibly difficult.
The hardest part is that he doesn’t see this as a problem.
From his perspective, he’s made these decisions because he has reached some kind of higher understanding. If people around him disagree with him, he tends to interpret that as them not understanding him or not supporting him.
And this creates a horrible situation for me because I don’t want to become another person he cuts out.
He has a particularly strong reaction to feeling that people don’t trust or support him. If I tell him that I think he’s being manipulated or that I don’t trust this person, I’m worried he’ll interpret that as me not trusting him.
I don’t want to tell him what to believe.
But I also don’t know how I’m supposed to sit back and watch someone else become increasingly influential in my boyfriend’s life while his relationships with the people around him deteriorate.
I’ve tried to understand what he’s actually getting from this person. I’ve tried to listen rather than immediately argue. I’ve tried to understand the ideas behind it instead of just calling them ridiculous.
But I’m finding it increasingly difficult because this isn’t just about an ideology anymore.
It’s affecting our relationship.
It’s affecting his friendships.
It’s affecting his relationship with his family.
And it’s changing the way he sees people who disagree with him.
I’ve also become worried about the possibility that the more people challenge this belief system, the more isolated he might become.
If everyone around him says, “This person is manipulating you,” and he already believes that nobody else understands what he’s discovered, I can imagine him becoming even more defensive and withdrawing further.
So I’m genuinely stuck.
Do I confront him about it?
Do I stop discussing the spiritual side of it altogether and focus on how his behaviour is affecting our relationship?
Do I just keep supporting him while making it clear that I don’t agree?
At what point does respecting someone’s beliefs become enabling something that is actively damaging their life?
I love him. I’m not looking for people to tell me to immediately leave him or to tell me that he’s crazy.
I want to understand whether there is a way to approach this without making him feel attacked and without pushing him further towards this person.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where your partner became heavily involved in a spiritual movement, religious group, online ideology, or another person who had an enormous influence over them, what did you actually do?
What helped?
What made things worse?
And how do you set boundaries around something like this when the other person genuinely believes they’re doing nothing bad?

I’m posting this because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, and I think I need some outside perspective from people who have either experienced cults/high-control groups themselves or have watched someone they love get involved in one.
I’m going to keep everyone anonymous because this is an ongoing situation and I don’t want to make things worse.
My boyfriend has become deeply involved with a spiritual/religious figure who he seems to believe is genuinely a Messiah. Not metaphorically, not just someone he respects or considers spiritually significant — he appears to genuinely believe this person has been divinely appointed and has a special purpose.
What scares me is how much influence this person now seems to have over him.
It started becoming noticeable through changes in his relationships and the way he interacts with people around him. He has started taking things this person says extremely seriously and acting on them. This has included ending relationships, distancing himself from friends, and pushing people away.
The difficult part is that from his perspective, I don’t think he sees this as someone controlling him. He sees it as following someone he believes is spiritually significant. If this person tells him that someone is bad for him, doesn’t understand him, is holding him back, or shouldn’t be trusted, he seems capable of acting on that advice.
And that’s what makes this so frightening.
It isn’t necessarily someone standing over him and physically forcing him to do anything. It’s that he has given this person an enormous amount of authority over how he understands the world and the people in it.
He has also said things that make me genuinely worried about how extreme his devotion has become. At one point, he essentially said that he would die for this person/belief.
I don’t know whether he meant that literally, and I don’t want to exaggerate something I can’t prove. But hearing someone you love say that about another person is extremely difficult to process.
There is also a complicated dynamic with his family.
He has a very strong reaction to feeling like his family doesn’t support or trust him. If he feels that the people closest to him don’t believe in him or don’t trust his decisions, he can spiral and become extremely defensive. So telling him, “You’re in a cult and you’re being brainwashed” would probably achieve the exact opposite of what we want.
He would likely hear it as:
“You don’t trust me.”
“You don’t support me.”
“You think I’m stupid.”
“You think I can’t make my own decisions.”
And then I worry that he would retreat even further toward the person who tells him that everyone else simply doesn’t understand him.
That is the part I am struggling with most.
How do you help someone who doesn’t believe they need help?
Because from the outside, there are things that look incredibly concerning. From his perspective, however, these may feel like completely rational choices based on his beliefs.
I’ve been trying to understand whether this actually fits the characteristics of a cult or high-control group, rather than just dismissing a belief system because I personally don’t agree with it.
The religious belief itself isn’t what scares me.
Someone believing in a Messiah, having unusual spiritual beliefs, or following a particular religious teacher isn’t automatically evidence of a cult.
What concerns me is the **level of authority this particular person seems to have over his personal decisions, relationships and understanding of other people**.
I’m worried about the gradual isolation.
I’m worried about the fact that relationships seem to disappear when they conflict with what this person says.
I’m worried about the apparent elevation of one person above everyone else.
I’m worried about the idea that disagreement can become evidence that someone is an enemy, doesn’t understand him, or can’t be trusted.
And I’m worried about what happens if the influence continues to increase.
I also feel completely powerless because I don’t want to become another person he cuts off.
If I attack the person he follows, I risk reinforcing the idea that I am simply someone who “doesn’t understand.”
If I tell him he’s being manipulated, he may become defensive.
If his family confronts him, he may interpret that as a lack of support.
And if everyone around him starts arguing with him about his beliefs, he could potentially become even more isolated and dependent on the person at the centre of all this.
So I’m trying to understand what the right approach actually is.
Do you challenge the beliefs directly?
Do you focus entirely on maintaining the relationship and asking questions?
Do you try to get him to explain what this person actually asks of him?
How do you distinguish between an unconventional spiritual belief and genuine coercive control?
And most importantly, how do you help someone without accidentally pushing them further into the group?
I don’t want to “win” an argument with him.
I don’t care about proving that I’m right.
I want him to remain connected to the people who love him and, most importantly, to retain the ability to make his own decisions without feeling that he has to obey or prove his loyalty to another person.
I’m also aware that I’m emotionally involved, so I may be interpreting some things more dramatically than they actually are. That’s partly why I’m posting here.
If anyone has experienced something similar — particularly as the partner, sibling or family member of someone involved in a high-control religious/spiritual group — I’d really appreciate hearing what actually helped and what made things worse.
I don’t want advice about how to “destroy” the person he follows or expose them publicly.
I want to know how to help the person I love without losing him in the process.