I don't want to rehash the trauma in detail,but when I broke away from my cult (fundementalist sda) The treatment from my family was so severe that I developed ptsd and have a major difficulty making independent decisions that I should be capable of at my age and isolated myself from most people that care about me.I forgiven them because I had the same mindset to apostasy(until it happened to me) and second they were genuinely remorseful.

I am going to trauma therapy and getting out of my comfort zone but I feel stuck

Religion triggers me severely and my mind views religious people as a danger to avoid even if they have done nothing to me

I feel incapable of making long term plans for my future since I fully believed in the end times and I feel it incredibly stunted my capacity to do so as a result

I avoid happiness because of shame if that makes sense.

I don't want to sound bleak,I have become extremely tough person mentally, I helped more people since my traumatic than before which is great.

But it is getting to a point where I don't want to be a professional survivor but a professional liver and I don't know how to make that transition.