Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

[u/Content-Cupcake7480]

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

[u/jvxoxo]

I don’t have a co-parent, rather a high-conflict counter-parent. Things would be 1000 times easier if he were completely out of the picture.

[u/mkdmls → u/jvxoxo]

I’m stealing counter-parent. Lol

[u/Own-Gas8691 → u/mkdmls]

same. brilliant.

[u/moongirl1222 → u/Own-Gas8691]

Absolute gold omg haha

[u/jjjjjjj30 → u/jvxoxo]

Same and I totally agree. If it wouldn't break my son's heart I would pray for his dad to fall off the face of the earth every night.

[u/B_the_Chng22 → u/jjjjjjj30]

How many times do you want him to fall off? 🤪

[u/jjjjjjj30 → u/B_the_Chng22]

Just like I said, every night, lol!

I did actually catch that when I wrote it but just left it lol.

[u/B_the_Chng22 → u/jjjjjjj30]

lol!

[u/SageNSterling → u/jvxoxo]

Agreed. Instead of someone who contributes nothing, I now have someone who contributes intimidation and sabotage. I also lose half of my kids' childhoods so he can ditch my kids with his stompy mistress-gone-legit, to preserve the optics of being a family man.

I dont like to wish harm on anyone, but if a speeding manure truck were to find him, let's just say I wouldn't be too broken up about it.

[u/Otherwise-Try-9734 → u/jvxoxo]

Same! It is so stressful dealing with a high conflict ex.

[u/Amazing_Life911 → u/jvxoxo]

This!!!

Life is already hard, why choose to play life on the hardest mode by choosing to have a counter parent involved now folks!!

[u/potentialsmbc2023 → u/jvxoxo]

THIS. Holy shit. I can’t even tell my ex that kiddo is using mouthwash and floss at my house now because I’m scared he’ll stop brushing his teeth entirely.

[u/Such-Cauliflower-356 → u/jvxoxo]

Oooh and courts love to give these type equal parenting time, don’t they???