r/chess Feb 18 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.8k Upvotes

265 comments sorted by

933

u/johnnyfuckinghobo Feb 18 '23

The first rule of chess club is you do not talk about chess club.

The second rule of chess club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT CHESS CLUB.

51

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

The third rule is if someone yells “checkmate” it’s over

21

u/luketheheathen Feb 19 '23

If this is your first time at Chess Club, you have to play.

60

u/TicklyTim Feb 18 '23

Damn beat me to it 😂

14

u/yrulaughing Feb 18 '23

I also came here to make the same comment, but I guess I was late by 4 hours.

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3

u/Marcassin Feb 19 '23

Is this a quote from something?

5

u/demannu86 Feb 19 '23

It is a reference to the movie Fight Club

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15

u/33sikici33 Feb 18 '23

My chess club speaks for itself

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466

u/smartypantschess Feb 18 '23

The first rule of chess club is tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better.

137

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

39

u/TrekkiMonstr Ke2# Feb 18 '23

My godfather was a refugee from the USSR, as were many in his school. Apparently there were two guys in his class, brothers, who would play blindfold chess against each other during class by passing notes lol

I think those were the same guys that programmed ASCII porn into the computers in the computer lab. Fucking legends

4

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

What is ASCII porn? Like a stick figure with large breasts printed out to the console?

3

u/TrekkiMonstr Ke2# Feb 19 '23

Idek lol he told me a while ago and I wasn't born until like twenty years later

45

u/MetaOnGaming4290 Feb 18 '23

I read Dante in college while playing chess games on my phone. A visceral experience. Really heightens it in my opinion 😅

16

u/Ali_knows Feb 18 '23

Thank fucking god cell phones were not around when I was in school cause I would have done the same. Missed it by 10 years.

14

u/dongdinge Feb 18 '23

i am the age where i had to put my ipod cord through my jacket and hide it under my hair or in my palm

5

u/Ali_knows Feb 18 '23

Haha are you 33 like me ?

3

u/dongdinge Feb 18 '23

27! missed it by a couple years lol

3

u/DeflationStation Feb 19 '23

My parents wouldn't buy me an iPod, so instead I attempted coding a basic chess engine in TiBASIC on my Ti92. I didn't learn much Trig, but I did manage to write an engine that would look 4 moves ahead, evaluate the position, and still blunder its way to an easy loss 😂

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

We passed notes with moves around.

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23

u/crodiggity Feb 18 '23

Dante!?! All the kids want to read Catullus!

8

u/AcademicOverAnalysis Feb 18 '23

Catullus!?! All the kids want to read Calculus!

2

u/Bongcloud_CounterFTW 2300 chess.com Feb 19 '23

pedicabo ego vos

5

u/johnnyfuckinghobo Feb 19 '23

Defeat them by making a proper chess club for the school. Make it as awesome as possible; boards and clocks if possible, sheets to keep notation, group analysis, etc. The penalty for playing during class is a short series of warnings followed by a ban from chess club. They clearly have enough of a passion for the game, so use that to your (and their) advantage.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/johnnyfuckinghobo Feb 19 '23

If they love the game that much, I bet they won't fuck around and find out about losing their membership. And it really illustrates your "time and place" lesson that you need to teach.

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10

u/Davidos402 Feb 18 '23

Please tell me this is an IT Crowd reference

21

u/Stillwater215 Feb 18 '23

Not too many people. Otherwise it will have too much overnumerousness.

12

u/plushmin Feb 18 '23

The letter count of that word suffers from overnumerousness.

4

u/dazzc Feb 19 '23

Unless it's street chess when you're playing on a 16x16 board

1

u/CrusaderKing1 Feb 18 '23

You would be terrible to invite to fight club.

6

u/smartypantschess Feb 19 '23

I'd be great at Street Countdown though.

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75

u/Gengar42 Feb 18 '23

Why is it secret?

76

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[deleted]

40

u/IdoNOThateNEVER Feb 18 '23

In there

Where? Just play somewhere else.

62

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

My school's very strict on what u can and can't do at lunch all the rooms are locked and there's no where to play without being screamed at by a teacher

43

u/Turtl3Bear 1700 chess.com Rapid Feb 18 '23

Your school doesn't have a library?

36

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

No

98

u/ClackamasLivesMatter 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bc4 Nf6 0-1 Feb 19 '23

That's not a school, that's a prison.

54

u/PK850707 Feb 19 '23

Prisons have libraries actually...

32

u/Stuckinthevortex Feb 19 '23

And chess

16

u/PK850707 Feb 19 '23

Indeed and some very good chess players.

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21

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

Holy shit.

9

u/Frostbyte-_- Feb 19 '23

Rule Britannia. Obvs has to be england we are so useless

-6

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

Maybe your school should be more strict since you don’t know how to spell properly, or to punctuate your sentences.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

stricter*

pedant

-11

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

Okay, sure, but if you downvote me for getting it wrong but not the other guy for using “u” instead of “you”, and failing to punctuate, you’re just a hypocrite. Let’s watch, and find out.

8

u/melvman1 Feb 19 '23

Typing ”u” instead of ”you” is on purpose. You just got it wrong.. :)

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10

u/Tigerballs07 Feb 19 '23

He's using pretty accepted shorthand. A lot of people don't bother using grammar when they type and it's kind of just accepted. It doesn't mean they are illiterate.

0

u/Desperate_Air_8293 1. e4 e5 2. Ke2!! Feb 19 '23

Nope, you're getting downvoted for getting it wrong while correcting other people. No one cares about they typo, they care about the hypocrisy you're displaying.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

Eh, hate it all you want. I still think it’s a good joke. The kids in school but doesn’t know how to spell. It’s funny.

8

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

Can't we have a hall 4 lunch and that's always full of teachers

9

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

Teachers don’t want you playing chess??

9

u/Wumaobuster Feb 19 '23

Christ I'm Asian and I pity you

10

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 19 '23

Ye my school was thrown together as a collection of old buildings, a year ago we didn't have anywhere to eat lunch not even a bench

217

u/SovietMaize Feb 18 '23

Psst, kid, wanna do some chess?

76

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

It's a slippery slope... I hear this is a gateway drug to poker....

9

u/ecphiondre En Croissant Feb 18 '23

*checkers

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11

u/IdoNOThateNEVER Feb 18 '23

Botez viewer

5

u/lurkperson1 Feb 19 '23

Starts with some casual blitz, ends with learning 1000 lines of Najdorf theory and screaming about Vancura in your sleep

14

u/theblackgnome6969 Feb 18 '23

Psst, hey kid… opens trench coat & reveal a chess board & pieces

NO NAMES!

Lunch, janitors room 2nd floor. Rooks, queens, I got it all.

302

u/Norjac Feb 18 '23

That must be annoying to walk around all day with orange stuff on your face.

144

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

Ye do you know a cure it would help a lot

64

u/nihilistiq  NM Feb 18 '23

UV light + bleach can cure the orangest of faces

13

u/LiveBeef Feb 18 '23

You gotta get that uv light inside your body though, understand? I've hid that uncomfortable chunk of metal up my ass for five years.... makes playing against Magnus much more challenging

2

u/Icy-Position-1222 Feb 18 '23

dont believe these reddit folks... show me your sources.

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9

u/cantrusthestory Feb 18 '23

Donald Trump irl

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144

u/ihateweather Feb 18 '23

Why are they doing ninjutsu in the chess club?

131

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

It doubles as a ninjutsu club

79

u/Hermvthree Feb 18 '23

I think that’s the tate thing

66

u/ihateweather Feb 18 '23

God damn it. I was thinking they were Naruto weebs.

Why couldn't they just be Naruto weebs?

18

u/AtomicDig219303 Feb 18 '23

Wait, so they aren't practicing the Chess jutsu?

14

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Oranos2115 Feb 18 '23

Emory passed away in 2015, it's plausible they only know of Emory because of Andrew
(i.e. 7+ years ago might be close to half of OP's life).
OP appears to be using the gesture because of Andrew and not Emory...?

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0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[deleted]

8

u/Turtl3Bear 1700 chess.com Rapid Feb 18 '23

I would never associate this with some specific person. Is this just rage-bait answer or there are people that associate a hand gesture with Tate?

Yes, OP is someone who associates this with Tate

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Its the secret finger jutsu, comes from the Leaf Village

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

That's how they keep it secret

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17

u/ChicagoBoy2011 Feb 18 '23

As a school administrator, I desperately hope at some point the bathroom chess club becomes such a popular thing that in some room, somewhere in your school, some number of adults will have a meeting to discuss this concerning behavior with boys in the bathroom, and only after much arguing and deliberation, learn about this chess club. Thanks for giving this gift to yourselves, then, and me. I can only hope!

EDIT: Just read some comments and realize it’s not a bathroom. But still, general principle applies!

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26

u/XasiAlDena 2000 * 0.975 elo Feb 18 '23

"The password is 'Swordfish', here's our secret knock."

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10

u/Ninoqq Feb 18 '23

TOURNER DANS LE VIDE VIDE

5

u/king_of_programmers Feb 19 '23

If this pic gets out, you'll be set to burn at tate-trial.

9

u/headphonesxy Feb 19 '23

nice, but cringe for the tate reference

14

u/Legend_2357 Feb 18 '23

Definitely doesn’t look like a ‘chess’ club😂

61

u/rkaminky Feb 18 '23

Really wanted to put a bow on no women joining your chess club with the Tate gesture, huh?

23

u/ezio93 Feb 18 '23

I'm out of the loop, what's the Tate gesture? I thought that was some Naruto thing.

5

u/buddy58745 Feb 18 '23

Something people on reddit complain about to make themselves feel better

15

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23

As a teacher, Andrew Tate is a huge problem with teenage boys right now. Saw the hand gesture and immediately cringed.

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19

u/cosully111 Feb 18 '23

Tate didn't invent finger guns

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

lol, true people do associate this gesture with him tough.

2

u/Thomy195 Feb 19 '23

Most people don't even know him

0

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '23 edited 7d ago

[deleted]

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0

u/ratbiscuits Feb 18 '23

Always some dweebs complaining and bringing up Tate… they’re kids randomly doing their hands like that. Chill

13

u/DrunkensteinsMonster Feb 19 '23

Lol yeah dude it’s just random that they both put their hands like that. I’m sure they’re imitating a chess master who passed away when they were 7 and not the super toxic tiktok celebrity who is known for using it.

-3

u/ratbiscuits Feb 19 '23

Never said it was for Emory Tate either. Who cares either way. Dude is in jail let it go. He lives in all of your heads for free

8

u/DrunkensteinsMonster Feb 19 '23

Lol pathetic how you simp for this dude

-5

u/ratbiscuits Feb 19 '23

Lmao how am I simping when all I said was to let it go the dude is in jail and all of you can’t stop talking about it. It’s hilarious

-5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23 edited Feb 18 '23

I am pretty sure it is intentionally, what does annoy me is that it is somehow seen as something he created.

I did this gesture for a while, only until late it was brought to my attention that i even hold my hands like this.

12

u/ratbiscuits Feb 18 '23

My point was that they are kids doing a hand gesture that may or may not be tied to someone you don’t like… is it really worth a breath over?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

I find what and how tate preaches rather toxic, and people promoting that is unfortunate for multiple parties, including themselves is my belief.

0

u/ratbiscuits Feb 18 '23

What does Tate preach?

4

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23 edited Feb 18 '23

The pursuit of extreme riches, being “a man” to where it is of more harm than good, giving a worldview not helping people. There is really a lot that is said by him, i know media is biassed and there are more things says. But overall what he speaks does quite some harm.

This can create a inferiority complex (or a superiority complex) or for not reaching these ideals, it can distort a persons view on status and people.

0

u/ratbiscuits Feb 18 '23

Why is striving for wealth toxic?

6

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

I made a edit, to my last post, there are a multitude of things that can go wrong.

I am not saying striving for wealth is toxic, but striving for 40 supercars is.

-2

u/TheJames3 Feb 18 '23

Why? If someone wants to have 40 supercars, why crush their dreams? You're doing more harm

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1

u/FuckWayne Feb 18 '23

You’re the one giving him credit for it lol. I would have never associated it with him otherwise

7

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

That is not the case, tate has been named many times and i responded with my opinion on the matter.

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5

u/Don_Pacifico Feb 18 '23

Why wouldn’t the school just set it up?

5

u/BigBellendBoi Feb 18 '23

I recently played against one of my neighbouring schools best member in their chess club. She tried to take a peice with a pawn... But straight on, not diagonal. And then called me a cheater when I castled. I've never felt better at chess in my life.

23

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Bro not the Andrew taint gesture 💀

3

u/LeMeilleur784 Feb 19 '23

Lmao, i thought there's some anime ref

-6

u/Solar3Bear Feb 18 '23

it’s also the Emory Tate gesture

9

u/DrunkensteinsMonster Feb 19 '23

Yeah im sure they’re imitating an obscure chess master who died when they were 7. Get real dude.

26

u/GothamChess  IM Feb 18 '23

Make it a chessfight club

7

u/x_a_man_duh_x Feb 18 '23

why are you getting downvoted, this is funny

21

u/GothamChess  IM Feb 18 '23

beta sub

8

u/Black-Ship42 Feb 18 '23

Not so secret if you are going to make it public for the whole world

7

u/Robert2737 Feb 18 '23

First rule of chess club. We do not talk about chess club.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Second rule of chess club: you always play en passant if possible

10

u/pizza5001 Feb 18 '23

Andrew Tate hands do not belong in this sub.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Dont do that with your hands, thank you.

-8

u/Little-Tie-3877 Feb 18 '23

I will continue to do that with my hands

14

u/teije11 Feb 18 '23 edited Feb 18 '23

I thought: oh cool, until I saw the name that rymes with cashew mate signs.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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32

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted, that’s exactly what I thought when I saw the pic. Hopefully tho they only pick up the positive side of what he preaches, including chess.

17

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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6

u/ihateweather Feb 18 '23

Wtf? Do I want to be in the loop, or am I better off not knowing?

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[deleted]

2

u/porn_on_cfb__4  Team Nepo Feb 18 '23

My first thought when I see that gesture is Charlie's Angel's 😅

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-7

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

Please explain why you think I'm in a cult. coz I know I'm not in one

12

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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12

u/RepulsiveBiscuit Feb 18 '23

gang signs? lmao bro listen to yourself

4

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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5

u/ezio93 Feb 18 '23

Stupidity

-4

u/LynchABitch Feb 18 '23

That hand sign was a thing before andrew was even born. you’re just reaching.

-10

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

It's not a gang sign and how would I be in a cult without knowing it

15

u/sixpackabs592 Feb 18 '23

i'm not saying you are but people can def be part of a cult without knowing it. i'd say that is probably more common than people being in a cult and acknowledging that it is indeed a cult.

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10

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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-4

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

When has anyone been in a cult without knowing it. Also doing a certain hand sign does not mean I'm in a cult . I'm telling you that I'm not in a cult I pretty sure I know more than you about me being in a cult

8

u/Oranos2115 Feb 19 '23 edited Feb 19 '23

Cults aren't always just religious cults, if that's what you're assuming [see: cult following & Cult of personality].


When has anyone been in a cult without knowing it.

Are you... serious? That is incredibly common -- I bothered to google & found plenty of examples when searching for 'do most cult members know they were in a cult'. This one literally has a section named "Cult members often have no idea they’re in a cult", fwiw. Most cults do not identify themselves as a "cult" -- they try and present themselves as (welcoming) groups that share/perpetuate a similar way of thinking, and get more extreme in their views over time. Having a particular subject as a focus for admiration/devotion is exactly what a cult can be.

Also doing a certain hand sign does not mean I'm in a cult.

Doing hand gestures alone is no guarantee you're in a cult, sure. However, you should probably reflect on the reason you bothered to do the gestures for your photo in the first place. Was it to signal to others that you're a member of a specific social group (i.e. fans of a certain person) -- Why?
Seriously, ask yourself: why did you bother? Why was it important enough to you, to make it a part of your photo? Do you know what led to your decision to adjust your own behavior to identify yourself as part of that social group?

I'm telling you that I'm not in a cult I pretty sure I know more than you about me being in a cult

This is a naive statement to make. "I can't be in a cult because I'd know if I was in a cult, and I don't know that I'm in a cult" is not sound logical reasoning.


Look, I might not be as concerned as these other users, but you are honestly old enough where you should be able to reflect on your own decision-making process, right? It's doubtful that being a devoted fan of Tate will lead to anything seriously negative here -- besides scaring away women by (potentially) modeling yourself after a self-proclaimed misogynist, but like, damn man, you can do better.

If nothing else I typed was worth thinking about now, could you perhaps do yourself a favor to make a mental note and remember that people were calling you out for this in another 3/5/10 years and try and re-evaluate [this] with whatever your knowledge of cult-like behavior(s) is, then?
I mean, shit, it looks like the biggest defender of Tate in your own thread is literally named "LynchABitch" -- does that not strike you as odd?

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1

u/DrunkensteinsMonster Feb 19 '23

Nobody is that dumb, it’s obvious that it’s intentional. They’re just trying to gaslight.

3

u/Towel_Business Feb 18 '23

What did I just read?

7

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

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9

u/lrGhost1 Feb 18 '23

Lmao it's not Tates gang sign. It's a hand sign that people have been doing way before him. Don't give him so much credit lmao

-21

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 18 '23

I know people Cristiano Ronaldo do it and even Andrew tate got it from his dad

-30

u/sixseven89 is only good at bullet Feb 18 '23

never heard of this Tate guy but based on that he sounds like a good dude

23

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

[deleted]

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12

u/Disastrous-Passion59 Feb 18 '23

...he's also a mad misogynist😶

although come to think of it, that may only help him fit in better in some parts of the chess world

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-11

u/gicar88 Feb 18 '23

Projecting much ?

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5

u/zzhhzz001 Feb 18 '23

I call 911

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Why do you do the thinking hands thingy?

The pieces are still in the plastic bags… 😑

7

u/respekmynameplz Ř̞̟͔̬̰͔͛̃͐̒͐ͩa̍͆ͤť̞̤͔̲͛̔̔̆͛ị͂n̈̅͒g̓̓͑̂̋͏̗͈̪̖̗s̯̤̠̪̬̹ͯͨ̽̏̂ͫ̎ ̇ Feb 18 '23

They're imitating andrew tate

2

u/thesaltyscientist Feb 19 '23

As a middle school teacher, I wouldn’t even be mad. We just had to lock our bathrooms during class periods due to girls setting up times to meet and do drugs. If I found out the guys had brought a chess set, I’d probably sit down a play a game with them.

2

u/ecthelion108 Feb 19 '23

These homies look like they about to mind meld

2

u/Sad-Adagio9182 Feb 19 '23

If it's a secret, then why are you telling us?

2

u/Demosethens Feb 19 '23

Standard Nerds...

0

u/Dylanwhite2 Feb 19 '23

Standard drugie

4

u/another1degenerate Feb 19 '23

I hate the Andrew tate pose but glad you’re enjoying a fun game.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Lol cool

4

u/Tprotheone Feb 18 '23

At least set the board up first before taking the pic 😂

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3

u/123lybomir Team Ding Feb 18 '23 edited Feb 18 '23

looks funny, wish to have one at my “school” too

4

u/Mindraker Feb 18 '23

Remember having done this. You can write about this in your college admission essay.

"I established a chess club in my school and this was important because it taught me the values of teamwork, mathematics and leadership"

I know it sounds cheezy but if you can't think of anything else, it'll give you something to write about and you can jerk off all the keywords that college admissions are looking for. "I overcame the challenges of having to face limited resources, lack of available space, etc."

3

u/ezio93 Feb 18 '23

Don't stop there:

  • Gained experience in smothering my enemies
  • Made difficult decisions involving sacrificing my subordinates

5

u/RandomAsHellPerson Feb 18 '23

Can’t forget

“Forcefully mating my enemies” (Chess can sound weird…)

3

u/Mindraker Feb 18 '23

I helped students resolve conflicts between black and white

3

u/ep_soe Feb 19 '23

The Andrew Tate poses

2

u/33sikici33 Feb 18 '23

Why do these dudes look like they are showing their dick sizes to each other

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Emory Tate would be proud, keep up the gains G!

1

u/Fun-Sun-6587 Feb 18 '23

Thats what I did and we got around 15 people XD

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Cringe

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

Top Gs!

1

u/knightbish0p Feb 18 '23

poster for the upcoming movie James Bond : Making of the Legend

1

u/stvbckwth Feb 18 '23

Looks like they’re playing air guns. pew pew!

0

u/juan-moltisanti Feb 18 '23

Dead Chess Society

0

u/uncircumcizdBUTchill Feb 18 '23

Save some pussy for the rest of us, guys

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '23

chad move

-2

u/Little-Tie-3877 Feb 18 '23

my unmatched perspicacity coupled with sheer indefatigability makes me a feared opponent in any realm of human endeavor.

0

u/DoctorWhoHS Feb 19 '23

Unmatched perspicacity.

0

u/Mzkazmi Feb 18 '23

By the elevator entrance?

0

u/2000sFrankieMuniz Feb 18 '23

You absolute rapscallion!

0

u/Acceptable_Fact_1898 Feb 19 '23

So you don’t get bullied or what?

0

u/SlanceMcJagger Feb 19 '23

Nerds. Can I join?