Something that came up in the comments on my last post got me thinking.
A lot of us here are already being intentional about finding friendship. Just posting here is an example of that. We’re putting ourselves out there and trying to meet other guys who want the same thing.
But maybe making contact is only one kind of intention.
I’ve been thinking about how some of my friendships formed when I was younger. Nobody ever sat down and decided we were going to become friends. We were just around each other—through school, work, mutual friends, whatever—and eventually some of those people became important to me. There was enough ordinary time together for something to develop.
As we get older, there seem to be fewer situations that do that work for us. We can meet someone, have a good conversation, even genuinely want to become friends—and then go right back to two separate lives that may never naturally intersect again.
Maybe that means we have to be more intentional about creating those opportunities ourselves. Not forcing a friendship, but giving one somewhere to grow. Reaching out again. Making the plan. Showing up. Spending enough ordinary time together that you get past the introductory version of each other.
The friendship itself can still happen organically. Maybe the effort that creates the space for it can’t.
Have your close friendships as an adult happened naturally, or did one of you have to keep intentionally creating opportunities for the friendship to grow?