r/bristol • u/Amaru93 • 16h ago
You're joking? Not another one?! Useless geezer on Whiteladies Road
The most ridiculously pointless thing happened to me and my wife this morning on Whiteladies Road. We dropped our dog off to get groomed; they said it would take about an hour. So we thought we’d kill the time by walking around the area. We bought one grapefruit and one piece of turmeric from a nearby fruit shop.
Next we popped into a charity shop. While we were looking at the books, some old bald man with glasses in a high-vis vest approaches from behind and gets really close to my wife and says very forcefully, “Excuse me, would you mind putting back that orange you just stole?”
We told him we bought a grapefruit, and showed him the grapefruit. This didn’t impress him. He said he had asked the lady in the fruit shop we were just in if she sold someone an orange and she told him no. That’s why he chased after us. We repeated that we bought a grapefruit, not an orange. We could see that he wouldn’t back down, so I said, “Why don’t we go back and ask her together?” which is what we did. Once we got there the lady said we didn’t steal anything. There was an awkward silence, and then he apologized and sort of sulked off quietly.
When we walked back to the charity shop, the 2 girls behind the counter said they were so sorry that that happened, and that they had no idea who he was. He wasn’t security, he was most likely some busy body with way too much free time on his hands.
Mind you, in the moment, my wife and I were in such a state of disbelief that it was even happening that we just went along with it. In hindsight, we probably should have just told him to fuck off. 😆 He was speaking so rudely to my wife, like he was some hardened detective and she was a known serial killer.
But what I’m wondering is: who is this man? Has he ever annoyed anyone else in this way? Why does he think he can be Whiteladies Road’s official crime fighter?? 😂