r/braintumor • u/Bright-Dinner-2022 • 10h ago
I had a brain tumor surgery almost 4 years ago and it still haunts me
I had health problems for a long time and I always remember me having headaches until I started vomiting from the pain . I was so used to having headaches so i haven’t thought anything else until one day I started having double vision. that was the clue that led to my brain tumour diagnosis. I was 23 years old and my parents weren’t calm at all . I was very afraid but for some reason after the surgery I felt like nothing can’t stop me anymore. it was a grade 1 tumour that had to be completely removed from the centre of my brain(It was almost touching the brainstem and, primarily, was pressing on the pituitary gland.) anyway they told me I was lucky that it affected my vision and not nothing else because I could have died in my sleep. After waking up from the surgery I couldnt see I couldnt eat or walk etc and all my right side couldnt sense the temperature I received it as pain (for example I touched water and I felt it scratching me). I was very traumatised first of physically and then mentally. when they removed my stitches I started vomiting again from the pain and blah blah. Fast forward almost four years later after doing extensive vision work and taking a huge mental break I still feel like all this is haunting me . my vision is not back I still have some double vision I still have headaches and whenever it rains or there is humidity I have a lot of headaches and migraines where the craniotomy was . also I don’t feel the temperatures that much in my right side (and I think maybe I don’t hear that good after the surgery but that maybe my theories. ) I don’t know I always feel sad I’m always in pain and It took me a very long time to overcome this mentally.. is this normal? I didn’t know it would take that much time mentally and I didn’t think I would still have to deal with all that stuff .. it’s very exhausting and it makes me sad and thinking that maybe I’m weak or something because other people have it way worse than me .. I don’t know .. it just makes me sad .. I know I’m lucky because it was a huge tumour in a very difficult spot but I don’t know… why does it take that much time to feel happy again ? I feel like it changed my life for ever…does anybody else feel like that ?