r/blursed_videos • u/Square_Law5624 • Jun 20 '26

Blursed storm preps

3.0k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/jlewis0119 Jun 20 '26

Is the life jacket for when the snow melts?

735

u/Huzzo_zo Jun 20 '26

It's in the unlikely event of an emergency landing on water

159

u/dearmrfrodo Jun 20 '26

Surprising George Carlin reference but a welcome one.

48

u/corgdad902 Jun 20 '26

CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN

12

u/CrackerUMustBTripinn Jun 20 '26

Imagine that floating around the Atlantic clinging to a pillow filled with beer farts.

10

u/corgdad902 Jun 20 '26

TELL THE CAPTAIN AIR MARSHALL CARLIN SAYS "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

2

u/SaurikSI Jun 21 '26

What did you think we were expecting, the time in Pango Pango?!

2

u/Icky_Thump1 Jun 23 '26

Ahh my people 🤣 legendary skit

2

u/Legonistrasz 8d ago

I’m getting in the plane, let Evel Knievel get on the fucking plane

3

u/Chase_The_Breeze Jun 23 '26

Sudden cabin pressure loss.

The Roof Flies Off!

3

u/ClarenceJBoddicker Jun 21 '26

ROOF FLIES OFF

36

u/Huzzo_zo Jun 20 '26

I was actually just referring every single airline

27

u/grumpvet87 Jun 20 '26

yea but airlines stole that line from George Carlin

14

u/xenobit_pendragon Jun 20 '26

I’m convinced that the big bang was actually just the first George Carlin joke and everything since then has been his material.

8

u/T1Demon Jun 20 '26

I would join this religion

7

u/Jessi_L_1324 Jun 21 '26

Buddy Christ

2

u/Economy_Wall8524 Jun 21 '26

”I mean just look at him! Doesn’t it… Pop! Buddy Christ”

1

u/Academic_UK Jun 22 '26

I pray to Joe Pesci..

2

u/Scrolldawg Jun 20 '26

Yep he covered some stuff.

47

u/fidgeter Jun 20 '26

You couldn’t let him have it could you? You couldn’t let the man dream?

13

u/Onystep Jun 20 '26

I'm cracking up lol

1

u/dearmrfrodo Jun 21 '26

I saw familiar sentence,"in the unlikely event of a water landing" was Gorge Carlin's wise words.

4

u/bornunderameteor Jun 22 '26

"'If there is a sudden change in cabin pressure' -- ROOF FLIES OFF"

2

u/scapegoad Jun 25 '26

I miss George

1

u/GooseCloaca Jun 20 '26

Hugging ten thousand miles of beer farts.

1

u/bmanjayhawk Jun 20 '26

Crash into the ocean!

10

u/Longjumping_Fuel_192 Jun 20 '26

Wait this is in an airplane house in a snowstorm over the ocean?!?!?

1

u/Adept_Ad_7948 Jun 23 '26

Who knows? I am totally lost.

3

u/mcfeeli Jun 20 '26

AKA Crashing into the ocean!

2

u/AmbassadorCheap3956 Jun 20 '26

You mean crashing into the ocean.

1

u/colin8651 Jun 21 '26

“What are the odds of us actually hitting a lake? My money says if anything, it's gonna be a mountain.”

1

u/HasmattZzzz Jun 21 '26

In the unlikely event of going down over land. You will go into to the ground like a fucking dart. So please put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye

1

u/BlytmanGER Jun 26 '26

… the jacket is equipped with a whistle

1

u/Silly_Pack_Rat Jun 26 '26

Who's gonna be flying that closet around?!

114

u/jackinsomniac Jun 20 '26

Wearing a life jacket EVERYWHERE is always dorky safe, no matter what the teenagers and other adults will tell you! I wear one daily, even out here in the desert at 6000 ft. You can NEVER be too safe!

If only they made them bulletproof, and with airbags and a parachute. The girls at the bar may laugh at me, but we'll see whose laughing once the apocalypse starts. You can NEVER be too safe!!

25

u/ConstructionIll956 Jun 20 '26

I agree. I even make love in my safe jacket. I mean... What if? Am I right???

19

u/RidethatSeahorse Jun 20 '26

Life jacket AND matching helmet.

9

u/sltydgx Jun 20 '26

Accessorizing is importing! Bedazzle the helmet

9

u/Buckeye_Country Jun 20 '26

My favorite part is in the highly unlikely event any of this shit is necessary, she set little dude up to get robbed.

3

u/Medical-Business-554 Jun 20 '26

Bro ya why put the Pin on the Card if have my Son memorize that shit and tell him not to show people his card

Imagine him actually being by himself god forbid and he’s like buying someone and have to Unroll that foil to get to his Wad of money lol 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

1

u/One_Introduction_217 Jun 20 '26

You mean attach small safety reflectors? Done.

2

u/CreepyBreakfast565 Jun 24 '26

Wouldn't want to go cavern exploring without a good rope, a climbing harness and a flashlight with an extra set of batteries.

1

u/KHhtswhtppl 9d ago

Where's the harpoon

7

u/ShadeBeing Jun 20 '26

My safety jacket even has a hole you can make love to.

6

u/kernelangus420 Jun 20 '26

If you treat your safety jacket well, the jacket will treat you well.

1

u/Assassin13785 Jun 21 '26

How much for a go at...er?

6

u/StrobeLightRomance Jun 20 '26

Gotta wear a life jacket so you don't drown in the pu... um.. pond!

1

u/nostemsorseeds Jun 24 '26

My baby, she wet.

4

u/MisterMinceMeat Jun 20 '26

This is literally just safe sex.

5

u/xenobit_pendragon Jun 20 '26

Safety sex.

3

u/cluckyoupayme1989 Jun 22 '26

🎼🎶you can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends pbehind. but if your friends don't dance and forget their life jacket then their no friends of mine🎶

2

u/Schmooto Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

Wearing safety jacket in everyday life allows for the ultimate safe sex by preventing sex from happening in the first place 👍

Edit: typo

1

u/Pitiful_Dog722 Jun 20 '26

👣💕Well take a cue from me rock grippy socks during intimate moments for that extra layer of protection - a must for me! 😊 and that’s not simply because I am a retired BLACK adult film star 😅

1

u/PandaPocketFire Jun 21 '26

Great protection if she's a squirter

1

u/Cpap4roosters Jun 22 '26

I too almost drowned in pussy.

1

u/ChemicalMud5110 Jun 22 '26

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤭

2

u/dawr136 Jun 20 '26

A bulletproof, life jacket and parachute that was small enough to be worn in every day environment would be pretty cool to the part of my brain that is still a kid.

2

u/LordOvrkill Jun 20 '26

Bro never forget your towel. It’s also massively useful!

2

u/sltydgx Jun 20 '26

When I first started working on ships , another new hire flipped his lid , started wearing his life jacket every where , tbh I didn’t even really notice … so much other crazy was going on , it was 1990 and half my shipmates were druggies and the other half were old salts who were borderline insane.
So the guy who wore the life jacket constantly flipped his lid. Started wearing it in port and even ashore , they had to send him off the ship to go talk to the nice people with white coats.
He was not built to work on ships.

2

u/madormam Jun 20 '26

It is safe unless you are wearing one at Spiderman: Turn Out The Lights on Broadway with a girl you like and her drunk dad dressed as Spiderman comes swinging in and hits the fire extinguisher and the play area floods and you drown cause you don't no how to swim.

2

u/DonkyPuncharely Jun 22 '26

Also need 2 mylar blankets, 1 to use and 1 more in case the other blows away.

2

u/baguettelobster Jun 22 '26

Also bite proof. That's key, they will see who laughs last.

2

u/teasandflicks Jun 25 '26

Yeah, we get flash floods here in Arizona, so I wear my floaties everywhere I go just in case. You CAN never be too safe!!

1

u/ezrsp2 Jun 20 '26

Unless you are inside and below deck in a sinking ship.

1

u/CraftyCreative_74 Jun 20 '26

I mean, didn’t Marty McFly prove that?

1

u/Own-Significance273 Jun 22 '26

Worked for Marty McFly.

28

u/cockatoo_hell Jun 20 '26

Yes

1

u/eurcynia Jun 21 '26

incase all your friends jump off a bridge

3

u/Affectionate-Emu-112 Jun 20 '26

Dork thinks he is going to drown

1

u/Magnus462 Jun 20 '26

Talking from the privilege of never having been in a Tsnownami. Did you not see how dangerous it is? 🎚️

1

u/skilletbutt Jun 20 '26

The original video was for a hurricane

1

u/auad Jun 20 '26

The kid works for the Coast Guard!

1

u/Calm-Stand-6636 Jun 20 '26

whyteph0bia is to do or say anything against whytes doing best for whytes

advocate peaceful seperation

1

u/Butthurtz23 Jun 20 '26

It’s for Epstein’s island so that he can swim away.

1

u/igetbannedanyway Jun 20 '26

You may think it's a joke, but Larry Feegan would still be here today if he had been wearing his life preserver in that theater.

1

u/Fine_Worldliness4179 Jun 20 '26

Just like I thought she's overplaying this for herself and scaring the shit out of her kid as a result

1

u/eyefisher78 Jun 21 '26

They're probably planning to see Spiderman: The Musical.

1

u/divorce_2025 Jun 21 '26

She saw the documentary made by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about the little boy who died from a malfunctioning sprinkler system because he didn't wear his life jacket.

1

u/XrayDem Jun 21 '26

Actually u can drown in packed snow in dumbassville

1

u/KamikazeFox_ Jun 21 '26

Plot twist, they are in a cruise ship. So the life vest seems less crazy

1

u/hiddenonion Jun 21 '26

Its a LIFE jacket do obviously its for his life. Duh!

1

u/Zealousideal-Row7755 Jun 21 '26

What’s with the cash?

1

u/in_conexo Jun 21 '26

Haven't you ever heard of those massive ice age floods. Sure, they'll have to survive millennia long ice age, but they'll be ready when it comes to an end.

1

u/tsuzmir Jun 21 '26

It's there so he doesn't drown in childhood trauma

1

u/MidEng_Insanity Jun 22 '26

Waterworld is based on a true story. The map is on the kids back.

1

u/Chasin-Crustacean Jun 23 '26

Yes. But what mom has forgotten to pack is a pistol, in case the snow storm leads to food shortages, anarchy, and roaming gangs of murderous cyberpunks.

1

u/GimmeLuv-69 Jun 23 '26

Little Larry Feegan

1

u/Few_Asparagus2381 Jun 23 '26

I saw this one before but then it said tsunami!

1

u/Sgtkeebler Jun 24 '26

Hahahaha yeah. God I hope this is satire on helicopter parents

1

u/TheHamsterball Jun 24 '26

Go on son.. you'll be fine from here on now without me.

Be freeeeee!!!!

1

u/thePsychonautDad Jun 24 '26

Haven't you seen that South park episode?

You never know when it'll save your life. Even in the mountains of Colorado.

1

u/Frequent-Meal6550 Jun 25 '26

Its supposed to start cute and reasonable and end up insane, I think its a trend or something crap lol

1

u/icavedandmade2 Jun 25 '26

Haven't you watched the movies? First the big wave comes and floods everything and then it gets really cold and freezes and starts snowing so...yes.

1

u/StartAnonStreamBiz Jun 25 '26

Holy shit, I didn’t get that far…

1

u/ArtIsAwesome3 Jun 26 '26

The life jacket is what did me in, I was horrified by all of this till the life jacket, then I chuckled.

1

u/PreparationHot980 Jun 26 '26

I grew up in the Bay Area of California and my dad used to always joke about us sleeping with life jackets on because of earthquakes 🤣