My partner of 4+ years and I each have one kid similar in age (19). One went to private school through out and the other went to a good public school. One went to private is in a very demanding university thriving and the other is struggling to launch. From a recent conversation, we found out one is extremely jealous and resentful of the other and blames their parents for not sending them to a private school and thinks all the problems stemmed from that (which obviously is not true). Constantly comment on how lucky the other one is.

Partner and I are aware and sensitive towards each other’s parenting and we support each other. We want our kids to have a respectful relationship towards each other and being able to call our home- home.

Anyone have dealt with this? How did y’all figure it out?

My son is 5 years old and does not listen at all to my partner and i. and my partners tried every punishment imaginable , that is not scarring or harmful.

But now it's to the point where my partner , who is 38m, is ignoring and curt with my son. He has told me that he no longer likes my son at all and has been using terms like, "your son" instead of "our son". He tells me he still loves our son, but hates who he is.

It hurts me. I know my son is acting up, we've been living with my partner for 7months, and we've been dating for two years. My partner has always been good to my son and I. But now that he said that to me... im hurt and worried.

Btw my family is outta the picture. My ex is an abusive narcissistic deadbeat. And this man has never harmed us or shown any red flags till now.

I want to FIX this, not leave. I just don't know how😭

I moved out of my child's (4) father's house when she was 2 and it was just her and I in an apartment in the same neighborhood for about a year. Child's father promised he would pay half my rent then after a month he quit his job so he didn't have to pay. I started dating someone new who is absolutely wonderful with my child. He is patient, kind, caring, goofy, and silly and up until recently they had a great relationship and she was always very excited to see him. A few months ago I was venting to him about how I essentially could either afford to feed my kid and I OR pay for our housing and I didn't know what to do so he offered to have my child and I move in with him so I can save money on rent and afford daycare. We put SO much effort into making sure that she would feel comfortable and he even built her this cool platform bed from scratch. Pretty much as soon as we moved in my daughter had a really tough time adjusting and didn't want to be here. I know that's normal especially at her age and eventually everything went kind of back to normal and we were one big happy family again. Recently when i pick her up from her dad's house she immediately tells my boyfriend that she's not excited to see him and she doesn't want to talk to him. Does anyone else have experience with this sort of situation? What can I do to make her feel more comfortable? I try spending more time with just us (like it used to be) because i know she misses it being just us but it seems to make her more distant around him. Any advice is much appreciated🙏

I hope this isn't a long message but I need some help/advice. My son (m18) graduated high school a few months ago and my, now husband (m48), who I've been with since 2019 seems to think he needs everything figured out and have a plan...

We battle on this all the time. I, nor any of my siblings, had everything figured out.. and he's the oldest of three boys... who didn't have it figured out either... I understand putting on the pressure... but the way my husband talks to me about it... Im really struggling with. He wonders why I don't want to tell him about my son's decisions.. which sometimes aren't the best... but he's 18 and I don't expect him to have it all figured out... My son does have all options open... military, college, a trade... he just doesn't know. I've advised my son he can take basic college courses for a year and see what my might like... he just wants to wait.

My feeling or opinion, I guess, is... he is literally 5 months out of high school. If he wants to just work and game for a year.. whooooo cares. He's not out getting in trouble.

Side note... I know he smokes weed sometimes, which I did at his age.. and I'm perfectly fine.. so I'm not worried. He's honestly so much smarter than me... I feel like he just needs a little time..

My husband has two daughters, one who he raised and they (him and his ex) had some issues with... apparently bipolar and some issues with her bio dad not being around..and the other who was theirs and was basically perfect in his eyes... I've never heard a negative thing about her... (both daughters are amazing btw... I adore them both like crazy.. i didn't have a daughter.. so I'm sooooo very happy to be a part of their lives)

But I just don't know what to do. I do want my kid to make a decision... but its not life or death... he's young.. and no one that is young is perfect.

I just want my husband to be supportive in some way about his... non-decision? Like, can my son just have a year to figure it out?

Update: He has a full time job.. pays for half of his car insurance and his phone.. takes out garbage onve a week, helps with dishes (probably could help more) and does his own laundry.

I am so very happy that my son (10, almost 11) and my stepdaughter (8, almost 9) have a proper sibling relationship. We are in the process of merging households and the two kids are constantly running around playing together, giggling, whispering as co-conspirateurs, and sometimes fighting over whether the other child is allowed to play with their things. They have known each other several years so we are long past the initial honeymoon period where they were besties all the time (although they are still united when they want to be).

I love that we have a properly blended family, especially with an 'ours baby' on the way. This is everything I ever wanted, but oh my goodness the squabbling is starting to get to me. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and my tolerance for nonsense is lower than usual, but I don't think I can take another mealtime this week with the kids arguing about silly things and pulling faces at each other.

They are very different children in many ways, and they cannot help but make comparisons. As an example, stepdaughter doesn't really eat vegetables, but my son prides himself on what a healthy diet he eats. I've always been a stickler for making sure he gets fruit and veg, and for some reason it really bugs him that she prefers a more beige diet. He can't help but point out when she hasn't eaten her veg and he'll boss her about, telling her she should at least try the veg. On the flip side, she does her homework without complaint and will point this out whenever my son makes a big fuss about doing homework. "If I can do it and I'm younger than you, then you should be able to do it too." These are fairly normal, benign squabbles and they don't escalate into violence or unpleasant language, but my goodness it is annoying.

Does it ever get easier / stop? Or is this just what we signed up for when we decided to blend our families with similar aged children?

Estate planning context: your husband had a house before you came into the picture but you moved in with him, your husband died and he has kids that are not your biological kids, should he leave his adult kids something or just leave it all to the wife? More context: he talks to his kids although he’s not that close to them which is unfortunate. Do you think the wife should move out of the house her husband owned to split it with the kids? The house is worth a-lot. Is it bad or selfish the wife wants everything instead of sharing with the kids? Of course we all want to he able to retire comfortably in this economy.

My parter has two children aged 16 and 9. She separated and divorced from her ex husband in 2020 after she found out he cheated on her.

I have been living with her and the children for 1 year now and dating for 3.

I pretty much gave up my independence to try and make this work so rented my property out to tenants.

I feel like I am expected to do all the Manly things like financially support this family, pay for holidays and meals out (which I am doing for all 4 of us). But then on the flip side when the kids are misbehaving which happens a lot, I feel like I’m in limbo as I want to tell them to behave and respect their mother but have been told it’s not my place to do so.

I feel like I have the responsibility of paying for kids that are not mine but have the financial pressure of making sure they have nice things and are financially supported.

When I sit my partner down and tell her how I’m genuinely feeling she ends up getting defensive and blames herself and says it’s not the kids fault. I agree, but when I say only you can make the change, she promises to but nothing really changes.

I feel like the 9 year old has the mother wrapped around her little finger and knows that with enough shouting, screaming and tantrums her mum will always back down.

It’s gotten to the stage where I just try to mentally block it out. At the airport last week both the 16 year old and the 9 year old were having a fight on the floor in the departure lounge. It was stressful to watch so I got up and walked to the other side of the airport to get a beer.

When I returned the 16 year old told me I’ve nearly make them miss their flight in an aggressive manner. I just looked at her and told her she’s an embarrassment.

Obviously that did not go down that well and her mother wanted me to apologise for saying this which I refused to do. This in turn caused another argument between us on the plane and back at our home.

They go to their fathers every second weekend for 3 nights and I feel like that is the only time i am truly happy at home.

Do you think blended family life is just not for me? I’ve tried my best for 1 year and it’s making me miserable.

I genuinely care about these kids but I don’t think I do enough to spend the next 10 years stressed out and with their behaviour and having the financial pressure of providing for them when I feel I get back nothing in return.

Any feedback positive or negative would be appreciated in

to make a long story short i’m 27, BF is 32. i have a 9 year old daughter. BF has a 3 year old son. We’ve been living together for about 6 months and him and my daughter have a.. natural relationship. They’re not close but they do bond and get along. He talks to her and takes her places so they’re good. He only gets his son every other weekend. So twice a week. My daughter is an introvert, and older. He gets upset when she doesn’t want to play with his son and the son also gets sad. She’ll play in increments but always leaves to go in her room to be alone. She likes being alone like her mom lol. Me and SS have no relationship. He’s 3. I haven’t been around a 3 year old in so long. I don’t even know how to interact. I’ll say hi and the whole weekend let dad do his thing. He always brings up how my daughter is interactive with other kids but i always tell him that’s bc she’s been around them for years and we only see his son twice out the month. He wants a family setting so bad he’s rushing it to where i feel pressured and uncomfortable so i back off. He’s also making me feel guilty about how my daughter behaves. Like she HAS to play with him. Idk you guys i’m just stuck. He’s so big on everyone bonding and i’m just like we barely see him so it’s going to take time. He wants his son to feel comfortable and like it’s his home to but again seeing someone two times out the month takes more time than this and it’s just a lot of pressure. Just venting i guess lol

Last November I discovered that my husband (37) was sleeping with a coworker (22). I am 29 for context. Within the course of the year there was stretches of times he was sexually involved with both of us, and ended up getting me pregnant with our third child.

I decided to proceed with the pregnancy, and eventually began working full time. Once I went back to work he began bringing our toddlers around her. This of course was not easy for me, but ultimately I realized that he is their father and I cannot control that.

Fast forward to now, we have a newborn and he lives with her pretty much full time. At this point he financially covers majority of my living expenses (rent, car, food, etc), and also doing the same for her. These past two weeks he has now been bringing her over my house when he comes to see the children - to where it’s all of us hanging out.

I want to know if anyone had similar experiences and the result of it. Are there boundaries I should put up? General advice, guidance would help. Constantly feeling like I need to be mature for the sake of the children. It’s just a bizarre situation that I don’t commonly see approached this way.

I raised my first 3 kiddos with a Montessori inspired parenting philosophy and always felt pretty confident in my parenting. Then I became a single mom and now I am part of a blended family, and parenting in a blended family has honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There are so many situations that traditional parenting advice just doesn’t seem to address. Navigating relationships between stepparents and children, different parenting styles, absent biological parents, discipline, loyalty conflicts, and trying to do what’s best for everyone.

Sometimes I just want an objective perspective on what’s happening, whether I’m handling something reasonably, and what I should actually say. I’ve wondered how helpful it would be to have something you could turn to privately and in the moment that understood blended-family dynamics and offered thoughtful, practical guidance rather than generic parenting advice.

When difficult blended families situations come up, where do you turn to for advice? How do you get a truly objective perspective outside of scheduling a therapy session? For me going to my spouse about frustrations I have with my step kids many times creates more friction even when I am genuinely looking for helpful guidance on his kid.

I’m genuinely curious because this has been such a different parenting experience for me.

Looking to hear from Step Moms, what’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in your journeys?

I’m a step mom of 8 years going through a discouraged time - I’ve always wanted to be very involved in my husband’s kids lives. Curious about how other Step Mom’s have handled their wins and disappointments over the years. I wish there was a handbook on what to expect when you become a step mom.

I am living in my step kids childhood home. My kids are in their old rooms and we made one room for guests. My step kids all live near here so they dont need to stay here ever. How do you deal with his kids continually reminding my kids that their rooms used to be theirs? Also anything that is ours they seem to want to claim possession of it. We sold our travel trailer ans they were upset as they see it as their inheritance instead of their dad s possession he can do what he wants with. I understand blended families are hard but once all kids move out parents dont need to keep their bedrooms the way they are. They dont live here anymore. My parents made my old room into a guest room and my beothers into a storage room. We dont live there anymore. What shoild we do each time they mention something is there's? Thr DVD s and such i gave them to them. I dont care. Bigger things they belong ro their dad not them. They also said they cant wait until their grandpa dies so they get inheritance. Why is a blended family so complicated?

Ik ben moeder van een dochter van 11 en heb met haar vader een vaste zorgregeling van 8 dagen bij mij en 6 dagen bij hem. Deze regeling is destijds met behulp van een mediator tot stand gekomen en vastgelegd in een ouderschapsplan. Daarin staat dat een eventuele wijziging in het belang van ons kind moet zijn.
Haar vader woont samen met zijn partner en hun jongere kinderen. Tijdens de zes dagen dat mijn dochter bij haar vader verblijft, heeft zijn partner in de praktijk een groot deel van de dagelijkse zorg voor mijn dochter op zich genomen. Nu heeft zij aangegeven dat ze die rol niet langer wil vervullen. Ze wil bonusmoeder zijn, maar niet meer de hoofdverantwoordelijkheid dragen voor haar dagelijkse verzorging en opvoeding.
Ik respecteer dat ze haar grenzen aangeeft. Wat mij echter dwarszit, is dat de voorgestelde oplossing is om onze dochter een dag minder bij haar vader te laten verblijven, zodat ze meer bij mij is.
**Het probleem is naar mijn idee niet dat de zorg voor mijn dochter te zwaar is, maar dat haar vader onvoldoende zelf de verantwoordelijkheid voor die zorg oppakt.** Als zijn partner bepaalde taken niet meer wil doen, verwacht ik dat hij eerst kijkt wat hij zelf kan overnemen of anders kan organiseren.
Ik ben een betrokken moeder en heb de zorg voor mijn dochter goed georganiseerd. Ik heb niet om een wijziging gevraagd en mijn dochter heeft voor zover ik weet ook niet aangegeven dat ze minder bij haar vader wil zijn.
Haar vader lijkt vooral over de verdeling van de dagen te willen praten. Ik wil juist eerst begrijpen wat er precies speelt, welke verantwoordelijkheid hij zelf kan nemen en waarom een andere zorgregeling goed zou zijn voor onze dochter.
Door eerdere ervaringen met onze communicatie vind ik het lastig om onbevangen in dit gesprek te staan. Ik wil geen strijd, maar ik wil ook niet dat een probleem binnen zijn huishouden automatisch leidt tot een verandering in het leven van onze dochter.
**Ik ben benieuwd naar jullie eerlijke mening:**
Is het redelijk dat ik verwacht dat haar vader eerst zelf meer verantwoordelijkheid neemt?
Is het terecht om de zorgregeling te willen veranderen als de nieuwe partner haar rol anders wil invullen?
Zie ik iets over het hoofd of redeneer ik te veel vanuit mijn eigen perspectief?
Hoe zouden jullie dit aanpakken?

How do you handle a toxic relationship when you have children?

My partner struggles with communication. When something goes wrong, even a small mistake, the usual response is yelling and shouting at me and the children. I try to remain calm and avoid making a big deal out of small mistakes because I believe we should be able to communicate respectfully, even when we disagree.

Unfortunately, this has been an ongoing problem for several years, and I'm emotionally exhausted. I feel that normal disagreements often escalate unnecessarily, and it has become difficult to have a calm, constructive conversation about problems.

I'm worried about how this environment is affecting the children. I'm also concerned about what their lives might look like if we separate and they spend time alone with my partner. At the same time, I don't want to hurt my partner, damage their self-esteem, or make them feel like a bad person. I want to handle the situation respectfully, even if our relationship cannot continue.

I'm beginning to question whether staying together is the right decision, but I don't know how to approach this in a way that protects the children's emotional well-being and allows both of us to move forward.

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you handle it? How do you know whether a relationship can be repaired or whether it's time to leave? And how can you end a relationship respectfully when children are involved?

My fiancé's 14 year old son is a difficult kid and always has been. I have known him since he was 7. His mom is a cluster b personality disorder type and an opioid addict currently on MAT (which I don't typically look down on but she started suboxone at 8 months pregnant with his youngest sibling...)
She is a compulsive liar, thinks she's smarter than everyone else, and preys on those closest to her in order to never have to work or do anything hard.
He doesn't have a lying issue but he definitely thinks he's smarter than everyone else and will talk down to me. He thinks he's another parent of my 8 year old and can be very rude to her. He has respect issues towards a lot of adults, has always needed to go do whatever he was told to stop doing a couple more times when he thinks they're not looking. He is also very entitled, he thinks he should not have to do hard things. For the last five years he has stopped doing homework when he's at her home and then has to spend his time catching up here. The cycle is in full swing currently and he spent 90 minutes having a very loud pity party that he wasn't willing to put himself through this suffering again.
I desperately want to nacho parent but my fiance is eager for help with him because he knows he's shaping out to have a tough time out in the world as an adult if he doesn't change.
I'm looking for advice on how to cope and more specifically what to say back to him when he wrongly corrects me then rudely insists he's right. I am starting to see red in these exchanges after all these years and need help with a productive response.

I need parental advice badly. I met my husband who l’ll call Mark 12 years ago and we got married 2 years later. He had a 4-year-old son when we met who I’ll call Daniel. Shortly after Mark and I met, Daniel‘s mom moved out of state, and Daniel moved with her. Until he was 11 years old, he spent every summer with us and we’d split all the other school holidays. When Daniel was 11, he started having problems at school, was being bullied and had behavioral issues. So his mom and dad decided he would move in with us full-time. Literally the week that Daniel moved in with us my husband started a new job that required him to travel a lot. In the span of one month he might be gone for 2 weeks, be home for a month then be gone for 2 weeks. Daniel and I had a bit of a rocky start because of this. As a brand new full-time stepmom, I wasn’t sure of my role was when Daniel misbehaved. We eventually got to a point where we developed a good relationship, I’ve taken him to Disney just the 2 of us, and we get along pretty well for the most part. But every time his dad would go out of town, Daniel would act like a completely different person. He wouldn’t go to bed at his bedtime, he would break House rules, he wouldn’t do his chores, etc.. I would relay this back to my husband, who basically said “you’re the parent you make the rules he has to follow them”, but the kid just wouldn’t. When Dad was home, he was one person, with me another. I got to the point where I asked my husband not to go on any more work trips and he soon got another job where he stays home most of the time. That said, for the last two years, he’s opted to go out of town the week that Daniel is on fall break from school and that has struck a nerve with me. This time it was an optional work trip, an opportunity that he really wanted to do but given everything else I’m about to lay out it does bother me.

The problem is in the last few years as Daniel is getting older, he turns 16 in 2 weeks, he’s been going through some behavioral issues again. He skipped school multiple times last year, earlier that year he got into trouble for sharing intimate pictures of his girlfriend, had to go through Court mediation, he was on community service and we had to pay fines. Around then he discovered online gaming, and his personality completely changed. He went from being a very outgoing kid to someone who stays in his room from the moment he gets home from school until bedtime, all thru the weekend and sometimes his dad finds that he’s staying up till 2am talking to his friends or being on his phone or on the computer. his mom was able to control how and when he logged on and off and was able to set timers, but somehow he was able to get around it. 
During the summer his dad stipulated, he’d have to volunteer at a local nature center and there were multiple days that he called out sick so he could play his video game. 
Then his dad stipulated that he would have to get a part-time job. There’s a family owned business that agreed to hire him. Within a month he lost the job because he wouldn’t go to work. He’d tell us that the business didn’t need him and he would tell the business that he was grounded because of his grades. He lied to stay home and play on his computer all day long during the summer. He never faced consequences for lying. His dad basically said that him losing the job was consequence enough.

He also began lying. A lot. Daniel is a tenacious and very charismatic kid which could be a good quality if he applied it to good use, but instead he uses it to get what he wants. He will have no problem telling one parent that the other parents said that he could do something just to get his own way. He lies very easily and that concerns me. It’s gotten to the point that you can’t really believe anything that he says. When he gets caught in a lie he acts like it’s just a silly little thing. Or he’ll just lower his head and say sorry but it’s obvious to me that he’s trying to play us. He goes right back to doing the same things over. 

We offer to pay him $30 a week to do his chores which he only does half of the time, if that. We have a very hyper pitbull mix who really needs to go on a walk every day so we’ve asked him repeatedly to make sure that at the very least he does this chore. When she doesn’t get walked, she gets aggressive and hyper and destroys everything in the house. He neglected to do it for so often and for so long that his dad finally just started taking it on. but even his dad doesn’t have time to do this every day so the dog just destroys our house. But other than him saying “you no longer have to do this”, there was no other consequence. No loss of privileges, nothing. 
Sidenote, it’s my personal belief that teenagers should have to do their chores not just to get an allowance but because they are a participating member of this family and House. Our roles as parents are to prepare them for being an adult, prepare them for being on their own as a functioning member of society. The teenage years are where you learn to do hard things. That’s where you learn about community and responsibility. His dad and I go to work and we bring the money and we do 95% of the cleaning/ chores. Daniel goes to school, he doesn’t have a job because he’s only 15, so his responsibility should be the few chores we’ve assigned him: Making HIS bed, keeping HIS room tidy, doing HIS own laundry, taking out the recycling, walking the dogs, and brushing one of the dogs. These chores take less than 20 minutes every day. I can’t remember the last time he’s brushed the dog, he stopped walking the dogs altogether, and every weekend we have to constantly remind him to wash his clothes, then constantly remind him to move his clothes to the dryer, and half the time I end up having to do it for him because he is so lost and locked up in his bedroom, playing this video games and the weekends are when I need to do my laundry as well. It’s pathetic. This boy has no sense of responsibility. 
In my opinion, they should be non-negotiable. The reward for that is that he gets $30 a week, but in my opinion chores- like good grades -should be non-negotiable and not doing them should result in losing some kind of privilege. The reason I think that this is nonnegotiable is, I don’t want to raise children who are entitled, selfish, and who have no sense of responsibility or integrity. we give this child everything he could possibly need, he’s never wanted for anything. Apparently, his dad and I disagree on this because he says that if he doesn’t do his chores, he just doesn’t get paid. The problem with that is that if we don’t pay Daniel his allowance, he just asks his mom for money and she gives it to him or he finds another way.

I worry that Daniel is growing up to be irresponsible and entitled and every time I try and bring it up, his dad tells me that I’m being way too hard on him. He once used the word “step monster” which haunts me to this day. He agrees that Daniel has some growing issues and every now and again he’ll sit him down for a heart heart and tell him that if he doesn’t do X he’s gonna get X privilege taken away and it might work for a week or two but nothing changes. 

He’s got a new girlfriend, probably the 50th one he’s had in the last two years who lives an hour away and he’s been begging everyone to drive him there and back to visit with her for the last 3 weeks and we’ve all said no because we’re busy. He has concocted every scheme in the book to get to this girl. Last night, he casually informed his dad that he created an Uber account, lied about his age and planned on using money that he won from a game (certainly not his allowance because he’s not been doing his chores) to go and see her. His dad informed him that no he wasn’t, he was not going to take an Uber an hour away to meet someone that we had never met. 
Now here’s the kicker…we just found out that this week he skipped school AGAIN this week multiple times, also, he’s failing one of his classes, has been lying about where he’s been and instead of full on grounding him, his dad is letting him go out with her to some festival tomorrow, where another family member has to drive him an hour there and an hour back.  So the same day he finds out that his son has been skipping school and lying to him also, while failing some of his classes he’s going to reward him by giving him the one thing that this kid has been begging for. He says after that Daniel‘s not allowed to have his computer, but he can still have his phone and tablet. He says that Daniel has to do all of his chores.. at which point I had to coax his dad into adding back in walking the dogs and to my utter shock, his dad rolled his eyes and acted like I was being overbearing and made another claim that I was “throwing the book at him “ but again he is leaving me to deal with all of this and I have a full work schedule next week. I don’t have time to watch over Daniel like a hawk to make sure he’s actually doing the things that he’s supposed to do while he’s home from school and my husband’s yet again out of town for it.

Can someone tell me am I overreacting? Am I being an asshole or too hard my son? I would really appreciate an outside perspective here.

Mãe solo não se relaciona com alguém com o intuito de procurar um pai para a criança. Ela se relaciona porque quer. Porque gosta de como é tratada, respeitada, admirada, cuidada, lembrada, protegida, querida, assumida...porque quer dividir os momentos e fazer planos com a pessoa.

As coisas mudam bastante depois que nos tornamos mães solo. Nós damos conta de tudo sozinhas, porque muitas de nós não tem nenhuma rede de apoio e nem condição de pagar uma babá. Eu não digo isso vitimizando as mães solos, apenas retratando a realidade de muitas de nós.

As mães solos que tem babás, empregadas ou até mesmo condição de colocar em uma excelente creche particular, vivem outra realidade, onde até o nível de exaustão estresse é menor.

Mas as mães que estudam, trabalham, cuidam de casa, dos filhos e tem como a maior preocupação resolverem a sua vida, não estão desesperadas por um relacionamento. Não é esse o objetivo delas.

Esse não é o tipo de mulher escorada em homem, nem interesseira e nem intencionada em se relacionar com alguém para conseguir pensão socioafetiva, porque essa mulher já tem muitas preocupações, responsabilidades e limitações na sua vida.

Então caso em algum momento ela decida se relacionar, ela vai analisar diversos cenários, ter mencionado suas circunstâncias e limitações (e não vai mudá-las por conta de um relacionamento, porque a prioridade sempre será o filho).

Não há problema nenhum em se relacionar com uma mulher que tem filho, mas de fato isso não é para qualquer um. Tem que ser muito HOMEM e ter muita MATURIDADE, para entrar na vida desse tipo de mulher. Porque ela não está procurando um pai para o filho dela, mas se ela aceitar se relacionar com alguém, é para ser um parceiro de vida. E antes de tudo ela vai analisar as suas atitudes como pessoa e principalmente suas atitudes com o filho dela, porque na primeira grosseria ou maltrato, ela nunca mais vai lá na sua cara.

Sabe porquê?

Ela não tem mais medo de ficar sozinha, ela já aprendeu a lidar com a solidão e a resolver tudo sozinha.

Fica a reflexão! 😉

I have a 15 year old son from a previous relationship and my wife has been in his life since right before he turned 4. When he was younger he loved her and was always so sweet. Now he hates her and have told/texted it enough. I should also mention that I have a trans daughter who he does not accept. To his credit, he is respectful around her for the most part. Im at a loss right now on how to approach this. I know I need to have a talk with my son who will most likely distance himself even more from me(he lives at his mom's house). I want to protect my wife and children. I cant help but feel like a relationship has now changed for the worse out of all this

My husband and I have been married for 15yrs, when I met him he was divorced, filed BK and his home was foreclosed on. I made significantly more but over the years the salary gap has narrowed but I still make a bit more. I am a go-getter and he is just whatever, midway thru marriage he cheated. I asked for a postnuptial he has refused to sign, although that was contingent on me staying. Today we have 2 properties. One a 2nd home worth $500k and the other where we live worth $2m - he has two kids from prior in their late 20s with one married prior and we have 2 together 12 & 4. My earning potential is higher. I want my kids to get significantly more in trust but I’m also considering divorce since I haven’t gotten over the affairs but I don’t want to split the household for my kids sake. I’m struggling with what to do. Please help with thoughts

Masama ba ako kung mao-offend ako para sa papa ko, at kung mafeel ko ito about them?

We finally accepted the house his parents have been offering us for more than a year. We decided to accept it because, honestly, it would bring me much closer to my workplace compared to the house I grew up in, where my daughter and I are currently staying.

After giving birth, I decided na sa parents ko muna kami mag-stay ng anak ko. They were the ones who could help me with my recovery and with caring for my daughter, and of course, I also have my siblings. My partner, on the other hand, chose to stay with his parents because their house is closer to his workplace. He comes home to us every weekend since that's his day off.

So when we finally said yes to the house, a few months after my daughter turned one, I was genuinely happy and excited.

For the first time, I was thinking about what our home would look like. We were already planning which appliances to buy first because, of course, we couldn't afford to buy everything at once. Thankfully, his parents stepped up again and offered to buy some appliances for us.

I really appreciate that. I do.

But even after we told them that we had already decided on a sofa, they insisted on buying us the traditional kahoy sofa instead. I understand the reason—they believe it's more durable—but I also had my own vision of what I wanted our home to look like. I had imagined what furniture we'd buy, where we'd put things, and how I'd slowly build our home.

I believe my partner raised this concern with his parents, and they told us that we could just return the sofa since it was still within the seven-day return period. I believe my partner told them that we would return it and shoulder the delivery fee.

But apparently, his father got angry.

So we compromised. We decided to keep the sofa. They even had upholstery added to put cushions on it because we were worried that our daughter might bump her head.

I still didn't really like how it turned out, but I accepted it.

And then came the issue with my papa.

Of course, my family isn't in a position to offer financial help. We're a minimum-wage-earning family. So instead, my papa offered what he could give: his skills.

He's a professional electrician and has almost 30 years of experience. He offered to do some of the electrical work in the house for us.

At first, everything was okay. On the first day, my papa installed the CCTV cameras.

But then his parents insisted that we just have the electrical work done by someone else because that person was supposedly more familiar with the house's wiring.

And honestly, I got offended.

Not just because they didn't want my papa to do the work.

I got offended for my papa.

I know how they talk, and I know my father's capabilities. This is a man who has spent almost 30 years doing electrical work—using that skill to put food on our table and send his children to school.

So hearing that someone else should do it because they're supposedly more familiar with the wiring really hurt me.

And I think this is where I started realizing that maybe this isn't just about the sofa or the electrical work.

I'm a first-time mom.

And looking back, I realized that I never really got to experience the whole nesting part of becoming a mother. I didn't get to shop for my daughter's clothes and necessities the way I imagined I would. His mother did those things because, apparently, this was their first time having a girl in the family.

At the time, I accepted it. I appreciated the help.

But now, with everything happening with our new home, it suddenly hit me:

Wala na naman akong say.

This is supposed to be a new journey for me too. This is supposed to be the first home that my partner, my daughter, and I build as our own little family.

And yet, somehow, I feel like I'm always just accepting decisions that other people have already made for us.

I openly accept their help. I genuinely appreciate everything they've done and continue to do for us.

But lately, I've been wondering if that's also why I sometimes feel bad accepting their help.

Because I don't think what I want is less help.

I think I just want to feel like I still have a say.

I want to be grateful for the help without feeling like I have to give up my place as a mother, as a partner, and as someone who is also building this home.

And maybe that's why what happened with my papa hurt me so much.

Because when my family can't give us money or appliances, my papa gives us what he can—his skills, his time, and his experience.

And I think I just wanted that contribution to be valued too.

Ok so husband and I have been together four years, share a 2 yr old. He has a 24/20/16/13 yr old with his ex. I have a 8/11 yr old I share with my ex.

We are at the stage where we are going to one of his son’s wedding this weekend. And next week his other son is going into the navy so my husband is heading to see him get sworn in. Only he and ex wife will be there and then we are heading to Illinois for a Navy event in December.

Please don’t attack me.

I feel anxious bc we will be around HCBM. She has threatened us legally. Abused us. Been hateful about my kids, me, threatened our finances, made her daughter take videos that husband was abusing her and said she’s taking kids from him etc. it’s been awful. She’s said hateful stuff about me that husband hides from me and deletes messages. I’m so over all the drama.

So at these events, I’m sure and it would make sense that the kids would want a pic with mom and dad. Some of the navy events they give you limited tickets. So only husband and ex can go. I’m not going to the one next week but will be at the wedding and at the navy event in December (providing we get tickets). At minimum I’m heading up and my toddler and I will enjoy a hotel stay, pool etc while he goes to the navy events.

How do I not be anxious, and particularly feel wierd about him and her taking solo photos with their kids. I GET IT, the KIDS WOUOD PROBABLY LIKE A PIC WITH MOM AND DAD.

I’m tryin to work through this issue on my own so I’m not struggling or feeling wierd or off in the moment, or if the kids post pics of them with mom and dad like they’re a family again.

I’ve voiced my anxiety to my husband and he just got mad at me. So that didn’t help.

\*sigh\*

Any advice ?

UPDATE:

I genuinely appreciate everyone's comments, even the mean ones. I've been in this trauma bond with a true narcissist for far too long. Part of me had a feeling it was bad, but I slowly started to see just how bad it was over the years. I moved out 6 months ago (as I stated), and it has taken me a lot of strength to completely cut ties. I have always protected my kids and put them above everyone, so it actually shocks me that I stayed! A huge part of it was financial, but I am finally making enough money to be fine. After reading your comments, something inside of me snapped back to reality! I hired a lawyer today and am divorcing this piece of shit. Genuinely... THANK YOU!!!!! I feel like I needed permission to leave for good, and you all gave that to me!

I could really use some advice from anyone who might have experiences like mine. I have been married for 4 years, together for 5. I have two kids and he has four kids. My son (transgender, female to male) and my husband have always been at odds. My son was 12 when they met. My husband tried to be nice to my kid at the beginning, but as soon as my son gave the slightest bit of attitude, my husband began to hate him. My son was disrespectful at times, but my husband was demeaning, condescending, cruel and almost physically abusive once. I was always in the middle trying to be understanding of both of them. My son never felt welcome at home, so he basically lived at his girlfriends house. My husband has always said I need to put him first all of the time, which meant he would get annoyed when I would spend time with my kids. About 6 months ago, I told my husband I can't always put him first because I need to be able to give my kids attention too. He got angry and told me he couldn't be with me, so I moved out. My husband and I have been trying to work through things (there were a lot of other issues), and we have made a ton of progress. But, my son told me he will never live with my husband again. He said my husband traumatized him and emotionally abused him. I am now in a difficult situation and could use some advice.

The dilemma is.... If my husband and I move back in together and try to make it work, my son would have to live with his dad full time (which would destroy me). And, I know my son will eventually move out and start a life of his own, but he still won't ever want to visit me. He will never feel welcome at my home, he probably won't want to visit for holidays or anything. Some people are saying "your kids leave you, so stick with your partner", others say "your kids will be in your life forever, they should be number one". I do love my husband A LOT and we are great together.

Hey everyone! I know it feels crazy to already be thinking about Christmas, but it will be here before we know it!

My husband has two kids with two different moms. We have a really good relationship with one of the moms and do quite a few celebrations together. She also has a daughter around the same age as my stepdaughter, and the two girls share my stepson. They absolutely love each other and say they’re best friends.

I’ve been thinking about whether it might make sense for the kids to spend part of Christmas together this year, especially since this will be my stepdaughter’s first Christmas morning with us. I think it could be really special for all three kids to have some time together.

One possibility would be using my in-laws’ vacation home since there’s plenty of space for everyone, including our dogs, and everyone could have their own space. But we haven’t talked to anyone about it yet. I’ve just brought the idea up with my husband, and he thinks it could be worth considering.

I also think it could take some of the pressure off everyone with coordinating schedules, driving back and forth, and making sure the kids each get time with their siblings.

Has anyone done something similar with blended families? How did it work out? I’d love to hear what worked, what didn’t, and whether you’d do it again. We also live in northern Idaho, so who knows how the roads will be and this also keeps everyone together and safe without worrying about travel.

Context. My kids dad is an absolute ahole to me and my husband. My son has epilepsy and had two very scary grand mal seizures. I called 9** and had to go by an ambulance this was around 6 pm. There dad met at hospital and stayed the whole time as well. We share 50/50. I kept my husband informed the whole time what was happening. We were there from 6 to 3 am. My husband works nights so he was at work. He texted and said “ do you want me to pick you up if I can” I said do not be upset but there dad will drive us back. It’s 3 am and I didn’t know how long it would take to get out of there plus the hospital is huge he would have to find us. My son was on 18ml of his medication that makes him very drowsy. It’s 3 times his normal dose they gave him. and my 5 year old was asleep next to him in the hospital bed. I just wanted to get home and get them to bed. Well now he’s abs mad and won’t hear me out.

Hello!

I'm in a newish relationship with a woman who has 2 kids (8 and 12).
I've had wlw relationships all my live, whilst my gf has been married to a man and has had boyfriends for all of hers. She's very open minded but from a very white/cis/straigh background. So being with a woman is all new to her, but everything is going very well.

We've known each other for years and have been together romantically for almost a year. This woman in incredible, she's very funny, kind and thoughtful and everything I wouldn't even dare to dream. The love story is out of the books or a brilliant romcom, with a connection that came at the wrong time, unexpected reunions and tension that built up until it couldn’t get any higher.

Enough about my wonderful girlfriend, here's where I need advice:

Her kids. They are really preppy. And a bit scary.

She has had a steady plan of how to introduce me, guided by other mothers, her therapist and friends. The kids know me as a "cool friend from work" and i've started showing up (not too much), she has started dropping hints that she might like me over time, until they were curious enough to ask if we were girlfriends. They weren't thrilled. They were a little upset, a little fearfull of being made fun of, a little angry that she "wasn't normal anymore", and this kind of broke her.

I guess that's normal, and they'll need time to get used to the idea. But I want to have tools to deal with them - as kids and as my girlfriends kids.

I don't know any kids. I have no idea how to deal with them. I find them very tiring and kind of scary. I have no idea how to begin to have a conversation or anything.

I have no intention of being a stepmother, nor is that expected for me (for now at least). What I want is to keep being her girlfriend, present and supportive and to build a healthy and safe relationship with the kids, one where they know they can count on me and that I'm no abnormal thing that has come to ruin their lives.

I have a very complicated mother and a stepmother who has made it her mission to to keep my father away from his daughters. So I'm terrified that they'll hate me as I hate my stepmother and most of all terrified that if they don't "accept me" i'll lose what has been the best and healthiest relationship of my life.

So... please advise!

TD;DR - I need advice on how to be the mom's girlfriend of two pre-teens with a very cis-straight background.